Trauma Room
by Word of War
Summary: Starfleet Academy, often viewed by cadets as the place where their lives changed for the better. For some, however, the change isn't always welcomed or as meaningful. Take Jim Kirk, who enlisted on a dare, or Leonard McCoy, who enlisted because of a divorce, as prime examples. But for Alice, Starfleet is the first step towards normalcy, something that has been absent all her life.
1. Names

The damp morning air seemed to cling to every surface that was exposed to Iowa's relentless elements. It caused Riverside shipyard to glisten with wet dew as the sunlight filtered through the holes in the starship currently under construction giving the whole yard ethereal atmosphere. The behemoth towering above the yard only adding to the otherworldly feeling. A mountain of industry and technology, the starship remained motionless in silent grace. An edifice to the unknown, the final frontier. A promise of secrets to discover, adventure to be had, and a future full of wonder.

Yet as Alice walked inside its immense shadow, she felt nothing but cold dread with no hope or sun to warm her. She craned her neck to take in the starship that towered above her, shuffling the bag she carried on her shoulder. As she dropped her gaze, Alice could see off in the distance a stream of red-clad cadets entering the last shuttle for Starfleet Academy.

It was her last chance to turn around and leave. It might cause a lot of problems and make all the hard work she had put in for the past few years worthless, but she wouldn't have to get on the shuttle and fly to San Francisco. Alice began to tap her fingers together—thumb to index, middle, ring, pinky, and then back again—as she weighed her options. She was so caught up in her indecisiveness that she almost didn't hear the vehicle approaching from behind her. The sound of the engine caught her attention just in time for her to quickly jump to the side of the maintenance road, dropping her bag to her side as she lined herself along the fence.

"Sorry!" came the faint call as some blonde in a leather jacket sped past her on his bike.

 _Idiot_ , Alice thought as she watched him speed towards the shuttle. She slung her bag over her shoulder once more and continued on, hanging closer to the side of the road just in case anyone else was as late to arrive as she was.

"For a moment there I thought I was going to have leave for the Academy without you."

Alice let out a sigh in frustration before throwing her bag violently into the cargo compartment, her eyes locked on the entrance of the shuttle. "And would that have been the end of the world, Captain Pike?"

"It would have been the end of all your hard work," Pike answered, sounding exactly like the condescending, gentlemanly asshole who refused to give up on her she remembered him to be. It took all her will not to give him the satisfaction of a response verbally or physically with the smile that was tugging at the corner of her lips. _God, I missed him_ , she thought beside herself.

"How was Vulcan?" he asked, the gentle gravel of his voice from age and experience pressing her lightly.

Alice finally looked at him.

Her eyes always took Christopher Pike by surprise. The cold glacier blue intense and fierce, able to freeze the unprepared to the spot; the green warm and friendly, though nearly washed out by the blue; and flecks of gold that clung around the edges of her pupil, filling her gaze with glimmering mystery.

"It was warm," she said coldly.

"Is that all?" Pike asked, his voice informing her that he didn't appreciate her monosyllabic answer.

"Yes, Captain," Alice said, her eyes flicker towards the shuttle door. "That is all." She then held out her hand, insisting that he take the lead inside. Christopher Pike hesitated a moment. He wanted nothing more than to press Alice further, but ended up relenting, making his way to the cockpit, already thinking of a way to bring it up later.

Alice wavered a moment. Crossing the shuttle's threshold felt as damning as a life sentence. But this was what she had been working towards. This was what she wanted, right?

"I don't _need_ a doctor, dammit. I _am_ a doctor!"

"You need to take a seat!"

"I had one!" a man's voice argued. "In the bathroom with no windows!"

 _Father said there's always one on every shuttle_ … a smile began to tug at the corners of her lips as an amused hum rocked her while Alice stood just inside the door. With constructed patience, she leaned slightly on the edge of the doorway, her head resting lightly against the cool metal.

"You need to get back to your seat _now_ ," the flight officer, a short and shrewd woman, growled.

 _Just do it…_ Alice willed him, though she was secretly enjoying this morning's entertainment. She leaned forward just a little bit, trying to get a better view of what was going on.

The man who was adamantly refusing to sit down was a bit older than most cadets. He was scruffy and ill-kept and looked as if he had spent his night in the bottom of a bottle. His jaw was strong and his hazel eyes were intelligent, though, if not also a bit panicked.

"I suffer from aviophobia! That means fear of dying in something that flies!" He gestured to the shuttle that he was now encased in to make his point in case the flight officer incapable of understanding.

But the flight officer was having none of it. "Sir, for your own safety, sit down or else I'll make you sit down!" Her voice carried an edge that made it evident she would make good on her threat if she had to.

The man, who towered over her by a good foot or so, hesitated for a moment; and from where she was leaning in the doorway, Alice was able to see that he was contemplating making a break for it. But the commander's glare was forceful, and he finally took a seat, landing in one of two that remained available.

"Thank you," the flight officer said before storming off to take her own seat, nearly bowling over Alice. "Oh!" the woman said with a start. "You're lucky. We were just about to take off without you."

"Lucky?" A raised eyebrow and a hint of sarcasm accompanying the question as Alice made her way to the last seat. "I was trying to miss this shuttle."

With her choice of none, the only seat remaining was the one that put her next to the man who looked as if he was about to be lead to a firing squad. Of course, the cadet sitting next to him didn't look much better. Though, calling him a cadet was a stretch seeing as he looked more like the aftermath of being used as a human battering ram. It was only as she drew closer that she recognized him to be the idiot that nearly ran her down.

A snort came from one of the cadets on her left. "Yeah, right," came a friendly voice. "I don't think you've been late or missed anything in your life." Uhura's signature eye roll punctuated her statement.

Alice smirked softly, briefly, "I did once, but it turned out to be a false alarm."

As she passed, she nudged her friend's foot playfully before taking her seat, sitting in such a way that made her take up as little room as possible, avoiding the edges of her seat and the people just beyond. Picking at her harness carefully, Alice clicked it together before settling in for the long haul. The man with aviophobia next to her, however, was still struggling to figure out the harness.

"Here," Alice said calmly, reaching out towards his hands. Her soft fingers brushed against his own, attempting to quiet the shaky and jarring movements of his nervousness, before taking the belt and buckle from him, snapping it together with the relative ease it should have been. "You good?" she asked her quiet voice laced with concern as she removed her hands, massaging them fiercely as if they were sore.

Aviophobia's eyes flickered momentarily to Alice's hands, finding the behavior strange before they met her own. "Anything but, sweetheart." He groaned, nodding his thanks even though his words and behavior suggested he felt the complete opposite.

" _This is Captain Pike; we're cleared for takeoff_."

Aviophobia turned ghostly pale. "I may throw up on ya'." He offered, the southern lilt turning even that repulsive comment into a slightly charming warning. "Christ…" he hissed when the shuttle jolted upwards, harnesses and metal rattling as it did so.

Battering ram leaned forward slightly. "I think these things are pretty safe," he said warily.

Aviophobia snorted loudly, turning to face him. "Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds, or a solar flare might crop up and cook us in our seats. And wait 'til you're sittin' pretty with a case'a Andorian Shingles. See if you're so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding." The more he went on, the more panic stricken he became as he listed off every worst case—most likely to never happen—scenario. "Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence!"

"I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space," battering ram offered.

Aviophobia huffed, pulling out a flask from his jacket. "Yeah, well, I've got nowhere else to go," his hands were trembling slightly as he unscrewed the top. "The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I've go left are my bones." He swallowed quickly, fidgeting as the shuttle finally began to even out in its flight before he finally offered it to the battering ram beside him.

"Jim Kirk," the younger cadet introduced himself with a salute from the flask before taking a sip.

"McCoy. Leonard McCoy." He went to put the flask back in his jacket when he remembered the woman next to him that had been _kind_ enough to help strap him into his harness, strapping him into his doomed fate. McCoy went to nudge her with his elbow, but she shifted just as he did so, moving enough to cause him to miss. Alice gave him her attention none the less, though, her chaotically intense eyes locking onto his own.

The intensity of her gaze caused him to trip up in what he was going to ask her. "Uh, what about you, Ms. Unlucky-to-have-made-the-Shuttle?" he managed, offering her the flask

She accepted the flask with a ghost of a smile, "Do you want a name or an explanation?" she asked playfully, though quiet and sincere, taking a cautious sniff just above the neck of the flask. _Whiskey. Nice_. She took a sip. _Oh. Very nice._

"I need the distraction, so both," McCoy answered, his voice slightly strained.

"Well, I'm Alice," she offered, her voice gentle and understanding as she returned the flask to the doctor. "And as for the explanation…" Alice trailed off, looking for a suitable misdirect. "I'm just naturally indecisive about life-changing decisions."

"She means that her father's been trying to convince her to join Starfleet for years," Uhura piped up, "and she only just finally caved into him."

Alice glared teasingly at Uhura, "Didn't know I had a human biography following me around."

"Just wanted to spare them from whatever lie you were going to tell next."

"That's so sweet of you," Kirk said playfully. Uhura merely rolled her eyes at him.

Chuckling softly, "I don't lie, I simply omit," she countered.

"Sweetheart, where I come from that's one and the same," McCoy chimed in, his accent dripping heavily into his words. That southern charm.

"And that would be Georgia, right?" Kirk said. He had this goofy smile, which was only made goofier by the black and blue bruises that covered his face, "Your accent is marvelous."

"Yeah, and so is your face," McCoy growled, leaning forward so that he could get a better look. "Did you throw yourself against a wall repeatedly?

Kirk's smile remained as he sheepishly glanced over at the other cadets who looked like they had been on the wrong side of a fist. "Yeah, you could say that." He shoved McCoy flat against his seat, though, so he could look at Alice. "Enough about me, though. What's her name?" His crystalline blue eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as he jerked his thumb towards her friend.

"Uhura," Alice replied.

"No, her first name."

"You're new to Starfleet, so I'll let you in on how things work," Alice teased. "Any female cadet with an ounce of self-respect doesn't give out her name to any guy with pretty eyes and a decent smile."

"You think I have pretty eyes?" His smile grew, and Alice instantly regretted saying anything.

The shuttle suddenly jerked, throwing the cadets inside against their harnesses. "Christ," McCoy hissed. He had been content to let the kid and Alice continue with their childish banter with him stuck in the middle, letting it be a well-needed distraction. Now he sat stiffly in his seat, eyes forced close in white-knuckled fear.

Both Alice and Kirk immediately stopped with their conversation and looked at him, concern etched in their features. Clearly, the conversation hadn't been enough. Alice's eyes quickly scanned around the shuttle.

"Jesus Christ," Alice exclaimed loud enough to draw McCoy's attention. Before Kirk had a chance to react, she was grabbing his right wrist, pulling it in front of McCoy. "What did you do to your hand?"

Kirk ripped his arm out of her grasp. "Nothing," he grumbled, his smile disappearing and a look of betrayal ghosting his features. "I'll live."

But it was enough for McCoy to open his eyes, and glance over at Kirk. He was just in time to catch a glimpse of the bloody mess that was Kirk's hand. He automatically reached out to assess the damage. _Once a doctor, always a doctor_ , Alice thought, pleased with herself. But Kirk pulled back defensively.

"I'm a doctor," McCoy grumbled but didn't apologize for the intrusion.

"I heard," Kirk said, his smirk returning as he tried to cover up his flinch. His eyes caught Alice's a flicker of understanding lighting in them before he finally offered up his hand to McCoy.

"What were you fighting? The brick walls you were throwing yourself against?" he asked.

"One of 'em felt like it," Kirk said, smiling wryly. His eyes looked up from what McCoy was doing and at Alice, catching her eyes as she mouthed _thank you_.

"I heard there was a barroom brawl last night," McCoy continued, gently running his fingers over Kirk's swollen mess of a hand. "Had to patch up four morons built like brick shithouses." He looked up only momentarily at him before continuing. "Did you have anything to do with that?"

"It was just a small misunderstanding." He gave McCoy an obnoxious grin, and it was no wonder why four people wanted to punch him in the face last night.

"Misunderstanding, my ass," McCoy sneered. "You're lucky you didn't break anything." He released Kirk's hand. "You need to report to medical as soon as we land."

"Sure thing, doc," Kirk said easily, though it was clear by the tone in his voice that he had no intention of doing so. He looked around McCoy at Alice. "So I was thinking—"

"Did it physically hurt you to do so?" Alice teased.

But Kirk ignored the comment with soft laughter. "You gave me your first name…"

"I gave _Doctor_ Leonard McCoy my name," she corrected him.

McCoy straightened up, looking slightly offended. "You don't think I have 'pretty eyes and a decent smile,' sweetheart?"

Alice gave him a small, shy smile, "That's not what I meant to imply… but I wouldn't know about the smile."

McCoy huffed softly beside her, something that if anyone else had done would actually sound like a faint chuckle, but his nervousness and grumpy manner made it sound malcontented. He looked at the woman, Alice, beside him one last time before resting his head against the back of his seat, closing his eyes and clenching his fists in fear while he waited for the shuttle ride to be over.

"So, Alice, how do you two know each other?" McCoy heard the kid next to him continue to pester her.

Alice pitched forward to look at him. "You're still going on about that?"

"Call me curious."

"Really? I was going to go with stubborn, single-minded, and pig-headed," Uhura commented, her voice equally sarcastic and annoyed.

"That's not nice," Kirk whimpered playfully.

Alice sighed, realizing he wasn't going to stop anytime soon. "We were both studying at the Vulcan Academy together, happy?"

There was a soft thump as the shuttle landed, and Alice was quickly undoing her harness before any of the other cadets had even thought about getting out of their seats. McCoy's eyes snapped open and he began to scan the interior, a look of confusion on his face as if he couldn't believe they had actually landed and that he was still alive.

Alice turned her attention to McCoy as she stood up, flashing him the first honest smile he had seen from her. "It was nice meeting you, Dr. McCoy."

"Oh and Kirk," Alice said before she exited the shuttle. "It's Khan to you."

"What the hell kind of name is that?" Kirk exclaimed.

"It's my last name, genius."

~~.O.~~

Hooray! First chapter of my first attempt at a Star Trek story is done.

Please feel free to tell me what you think. I love reading any and all reviews.

Thank you for reading!


	2. Bones

McCoy stared after Alice as she exited the shuttle, nearly as mesmerized as he had been when he first spotted her.

The way she carried herself, she could command the entire room if she wanted to, yet she kept to herself, remaining quiet in her mannerisms and behavior even though you would expect of her. It was the first thing that he noticed about Alice. When she had made her way to her seat, she slipped past everyone gracefully, making sure not to bump into anyone; and when she had taken her seat, she did all she could to make herself smaller, avoiding any contact with those next to her. It was as if she were afraid of her own beauty that demanded the attention of everyone in the room. The second thing he noticed were her eyes. McCoy had never seen eyes so vibrant and unique in his life, although that wasn't completely true. He saw it in a textbook back in med-school: _sectoral heterochromia iridum_ _,_ a genetic mutation that affects eye pigment. Glacier blue, forest green, and shimmering gold, the color of her eyes was only amplified by her long ebony hair and pale complexion.

Her features were almost the polar opposite of his wife, and yet her beauty was the same if not greater.

An elbow jabbing into his ribs pulled him from his observations. The kid beside him was smiling at him with a shit-eating grin. "Looks like she has a thing for you. I suggest you make sure you bump into her. Several times if you get what I'm saying." The foolhardy wink he threw in made McCoy want to punch him in his already bruised and bloody face.

"Please," McCoy sneered. "A girl like wouldn't want anything to do with someone like me. Besides," he pulled out his flask and took another sip before getting up from his seat. "I did the whole relationship thing once and ended up here. What makes you think I want through that horseshit again?"

"Come on, Bones," Kirk said, enthusiasm saturating his words as his eyes noticeably traced down the figure of the female cadet, Uhura, in front of him. "Here's not so bad."

"Bones?" he asked as he exited the shuttle, the warm San Francisco air hitting him.

Kirk spun back to face him. "Well, all you've got left are your bones right?" He asked, clasping McCoy on the shoulder playfully. The kid's whole enthusiasm and eagerness reminded McCoy of a puppy. It was something that was going to get really old really quickly.

"Don't call me that," McCoy threatened him with a low growl.

What would have made even the most intimidating of people think twice, Kirk merely laughed off; before he could fire off some wise ass remark, however, a very loud and commanding voice interrupted him.

"Kirk!" Captain Pike hollered, waving for the kid to approach.

"I'll be right there, sir!" Kirk punched McCoy in the shoulder playfully. "See you around, Bones," he said as a teasing farewell before taking off.

McCoy opened his mouth to yell at the kid to knock it off with the stupid nickname but realized there wasn't any point. Instead, he waved him off, thankful that he was likely to never see that idiot again before he went to retrieve his things from the cargo hold of the shuttle.

As he waited in line, he was able to spot Alice's ink black hair and slim silhouette walking away from the crowd, bag slung over her shoulder as she walked away from the docking area. Something caught her attention, though, and she turned around, waiting patiently with an impatient hand on her hip as a cadet Uhura caught up with her. Even at a distance, Alice's eyes were still dazzling.

McCoy smirked, _Here might not be so bad after all._

* * *

It wasn't shortly after the brief burst of optimism that McCoy had realized just how wrong that statement was. Here really was as bad as he thought it was going to be, but not for the reasons he thought.

Everything at Starfleet Academy had one motto that it stuck by as though lives depended on it: hurry up and wait.

Hurry up to retrieve the ridiculous amount of clothing you were required to wear on campus for various reasons and wait in a long line to receive them only to have to hurry and lug all of it back to the dorms. Then once you were there, you had to wait to figure out which dorm you were assigned all while still carrying your heavy gear in the hot San Francisco sun. After you found your dorm, you had to drop off your gear and hurry over to the advising center where you had to wait over an hour to finally be called in by an academic advisor. An academic advisor who didn't listen to a word you said while creating your schedule and shoving you out of the door after five minutes with a piece of paper that was your schedule and a reminder not to be late to evening formation for physical training.

Which is where McCoy was now, dressed in the bland gray and black Starfleet standard issue PT uniform, equally as tired as he was miserable from the longest day of his life. Or from the alcohol from the night before that had finally caught up with him. One thing good be certain, though, the splitting headache was caused by an awful decision on his part.

It was as he was assigned to a platoon in the PT formation that he realized he had been wrong on two counts. Not only was being here worse than he imagined, but he would also be seeing that annoying little shit from the shuttle much more often than he thought. The look on the kid's face when he saw him approaching the platoon was like throwing a match on the impulse fuel that was McCoy's anger and frustration.

"Bones!" Kirk greeted him, flashing him an obnoxious smile.

"I thought I told you to cut it out with that stupid name," McCoy grumbled, lining up in the platoon. The whole discipline, yes-sir, line up straight, stand up at attention, the monotonous routine was easy to learn but difficult to conform to as quickly as the instructor's wanted. Thankfully he had arrived early and didn't need to be quite so perfect while standing at ease in the platoon.

"You know, I think you might have mentioned that," he teased. "I also think I might've chosen to ignore you at that moment too."

McCoy eyed the kid. He had cleaned the blood and dirt off of his face and was wearing the same PT uniform as him. It made it easier to see the bruises on his hand and the defensive wounds on his arms from blocking. His face was still slightly swollen, though, as was his hand.

"Did you also ignore me when I told you to go to medical?" McCoy glared at him, daring Kirk to lie to him.

"No I went," Kirk answered. "I walked in, and then right back out."

"Listen, dumbass—" McCoy started, getting ready to give Kirk the lecture of a lifetime, but quickly found himself being talked over.

"Hey, look who it is!" Kirk exclaimed, McCoy's earlier observation of him behaving like a puppy holding to be true.

"Unbelievable," McCoy hissed as Kirk's attention was snapped away, but he turned to see what Kirk deemed to be so much more damn important than his own health.

McCoy nearly forgave Kirk when he saw Alice approaching their platoon, however. Her chaotic eyes seemed to give her a dangerous look as she walked towards them.

Alice was wearing the same PT uniform as they were: gray short sleeve with a small collar and black pants. Though on her, it didn't look quite as ridiculous as McCoy thought it did. The uniform hung to her slender form well, hugging her curves. Her ebony hair was pulled up into a tight bun, making her look much more serious than she had in her civilian clothes. Out of everyone here, Alice looked the most like someone who belonged in Starfleet, belonged in the uniform.

"Look who's in the same platoon as we are," Kirk chuckled once Alice was closer to them. "High-five!" And like a five-year-old child, he rose his hand expectantly.

Alice snorted, shaking her head as she did so. "I'm going to leave you hanging there."

Kirk dropped his hand, clearly looking disappointed. "What's the matter, Alice, afraid to make friends?"

"Khan," she corrected him. "And I don't mind making friends, I just prefer them at a distance."

"Alright," Kirk said, sounding serious for the first time since McCoy had me him. He even took a half step back from her, an unexpected courtesy.

Alice clearly didn't expect him to give her distance either, eyeing him curiously before she turned her attention to McCoy, giving him a small smile in greeting, "I take it we have a portion the K, L, and M last names in this platoon?" McCoy nodded. "Lucky me," she said, but the smile Alice had worn turned into a frown. "You look terrible, Doctor."

"Gee, thanks," McCoy grumbled, crossing his arms defensively.

Kirk, however, found her observation hilarious. "Go easy on him, Alice," he laughed, refusing to use her last name in _you made your bed, now lie in it_ sort of way. "It looks like Bones can't hold his booze."

"And it looks like you don't know how to hold your own in a fight," McCoy sneered.

"At least I don't need to be half drunk to fly on a shuttle," Kirk retorted, his smile only growing.

"At least it doesn't look like my face was dragged across the pavement—"

Alice's laughter caught them both by surprise. Until then she had only given them half smiles and slight teasing. Her giggling—because that's what her quiet laughter could only be considered as—was soft and playful as she tried to hide it behind one of her pale, slender hand.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to rain in her laughter. "Please continue bickering like children."

McCoy hadn't even realized what he was doing up until that point. Apparently, Kirk's obnoxious immaturity had managed to rub off on him in the short time that he was exposed. _Kid's like a disease_ , McCoy thought bitterly, straightening up as he quickly shut up.

Alice regained her composure and then shot Kirk a questioning look. "What was that you called him? Bones?"

"Alright everyone, form up!" the shout from this evening's PT instructor prevented Kirk from answering her.

McCoy didn't even bother stifling his groan as they lined up in the proper formation: alphabetical order in squads. In front of him, he heard Kirk chuckling softly, his laughter trailing from behind him. McCoy hoped that he could feel the murderous glare he was using on the back of his head that would have given actual murderers pause. The swift jab to the ribs he saw Alice give him with her right elbow as he stood beside her was almost satisfactory, though.

When standing at attention, your arms are quite literally pinned to your sides with your hands clenched into loose fists. McCoy wondered if the position was meant to be uncomfortable so as to remind everyone who had to do it to superior officers just how insignificant they truly were in comparison. But as he was looking forward, eyes front as it were, he noticed something odd about Alice.

She stood tensely, more so than the cadets around her; and her shoulders were hunched, reminiscent of someone who was standing on a crowded train, avoiding touching those around them. Her left hand wasn't really clenched like her right, and her thumb was tracing lightly across her fingertips.

"Cadet McCoy, eyes front!"

* * *

After receiving the basic rundown on what was going to happen, a lengthy ordeal of the instructor calling out routine and expectations, they were broken off into pairs to determine their levels of fitness. Khan and Kirk ended up together, and McCoy was paired with some cadet whose name might have been mentioned but he didn't bother trying to remember.

Back during med school, he had played college ball with a few friends, nothing professional, but enough to keep him active. Afterward, he had thankfully kept it up, making the push-ups and sit-ups he had to do to the best of his ability in a minute much easier than it was for some of the other cadets around him. As he was holding his nameless partner's ankles for the sit-ups, he had the chance to survey the other cadets.

McCoy was able to recognize a few of the cadets from those that had been waiting around the advising center for those who wanted to pursue the medical track. He felt a little bit of relief when he saw them struggling and performing much more pathetically than he thought he was.

Any optimism in his ability faded rather quickly when he looked at the mile-long loop of an obstacle course that loomed before him. McCoy thought he was probably projecting his resentment of having to do the course, but the shadows that stretched out from the obstacles themselves in the dwindling made the whole thing look ominous and dangerous.

"Looks like fun, right?" Kirk asked, clasping him from behind on his shoulder.

"If you enjoy pain and punishment," McCoy grumbled, his upper lip raised in a sneer as he shook his head. There was no way he was going to make through this thing without either breaking something or dying. "Not all of us can be masochists like you."

"Aw, come on, Bones! Live a little!"

But McCoy ignored him, instead, he looked for Alice. She didn't say too much, but she seemed to have a way to keep Kirk's enthusiasm from becoming overpoweringly obnoxious and from keeping McCoy from punching him.

Kirk nudged him. "I'll race you to the end."

"Do I look like I give a damn if you beat me?"

"You _look_ like you're gonna throw up," Kirk answered with a smirk.

"Can't you annoy Khan or anyone else around here?"

The instructor blew a whistle signaling for the next group to line up at the starting point for the course. McCoy dropped into a reluctant starter position, waiting for buzzer to mark this overly elaborate suicide attempt

"It doesn't seem to faze her, and your more fun and convenient." Kirk didn't even bother taken any kind of ready position. "Plus I'm worried about you."

"You're worried about me?" McCoy asked, in disbelief. _Who the hell does this kid think he is_?

"Yeah," Kirk eyed McCoy up and down. "I didn't know they let _old_ people enlist.

"Old?" McCoy yelled, a mixture of disbelief and anger. The buzzer went off and Kirk rushed forward. And McCoy lunged after Kirk. "I'll give you old, you little shit!"

"Well done, Bones!" Kirk grinned as they skidded to a halt.

McCoy had gone through the entire obstacle course just out of arms reach of Kirk, determined to make sure that the immature punk didn't show him up. He climbed over various sizes and degrees of walls, crawled through trenches of different depths and barriers, and overall charged through whatever came next in order to keep up with Kirk, who made it through the entire course with an athletic grace that McCoy could only, Towards the end of the course he had started to nearly trip over his own feet, but the good doctor had been too stubborn to slow down. He'd be damned if let Kirk get away with calling him old.

"I hate you," McCoy gasped, the burning in his lungs making it difficult to breathe, let alone speak as he remained hunched over, hands braced against his knees. The anger he felt towards Kirk was only amplified when he noticed that he wasn't having any difficulty breathing after running.

"Sure you do," Kirk laughed. "Will you still hate me when I point out our welcome party?"

McCoy looked where he was pointing, only to see Alice approaching, carrying three bottles of water towards him. "Maybe a little less," he grumbled, straightening up.

Her eyes met his own. "You alright?"

"I need a drink," McCoy sighed, exhaustion softening his features.

Alice flipped the bottle in her hand around so that she had a hold of it from the neck. "Guess it's a good thing I brought you two slackers water, huh?" she teased.

"Wrong kind of drink, sweetheart," McCoy said, graciously accepting the water with a half-smile.

"Well for that," Alice said, tossing Kirk his water bottle impersonally, "there's a bar a few blocks off campus. Not many other cadets know about it. Drinks at nine?" She asked, her eyes flickering between McCoy and Kirk.

"I'm always up for a drink in the presence of a beautiful woman," Kirk said, flashing his nicest smile, his blue eyes only adding to his charm. Alice rolled her eyes at Kirk before directing them towards McCoy.

"Nine it is," McCoy confirmed with a smirk.

~~.O.~~

And that marks the second chapter of my first Star Trek fic. I'm quite excited to keep it going.

I am always welcome to reviews of any kind. Please let me know what you honestly think. Your feedback is always appreciated.

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoy the story thus far.


	3. Drink

The lack of direct sunlight caused the temperature to drop quite a bit from the blistering San Francisco heat that punctuated the earlier hours. Alice almost regretted not grabbing a jacket. _Then again_ , she realized, _Vulcan's volcanic surface may have spoiled me a little bit._

She was standing on the corner just outside the bar—her standard issue Starfleet uniform was abandoned for a navy blue tank top and white washed jeans—as she waited, prepared to say it was under the auspices of making sure that Leonard and Jim didn't get lost even though she had sent them the address and directions. Truthfully, though, Alice didn't want to face the crowded bar alone. Leonard and Jim proved to be good distractions from everything going on around her. Especially Jim.

Alice chuckled softly to herself. Jim certainly knew how to talk.

And he was anything but the man she expected him to be.

Her father would always get onto the topic of George Kirk and what Starfleet had lost with his death. It wasn't until about the second or third glass, that he would bring him up; but it was always the same thing: instinct, courage, valor, and leaping before looking. The picture it painted was the complete opposite of Jim Kirk. Jim was loud, obnoxious, a horrible flirt only because he never stopped flirting, and seemed to take very little serious. _Remarkably put together for someone with that kind of birthday_. _Though, maybe he really was as strong of character as his father, even if the character was a bit different._

Doctor Leonard McCoy was just as confounding as Jim was as well. He was almost the complete opposite of what you'd expect from a doctor, making the uneasiness Alice felt around all doctors almost nonexistent. She felt at ease with him, even though he clearly made those around him—aside from Jim and herself—uneasy, or baffled at the very least, by his rough, bitter behavior. _Rough around the edges because he cares too much and it breaks him_ , she recognized. The fact that she could relax at all around him was surprising to her, though, given that—

 _No!_ Alice began to massage her hands fiercely, wringing them together slightly as she got her breathing back under control _._ She quickly dropped her hands to her sides when she saw Leonard and Jim crossing the street to join her.

Tonight was a night to drink with new friends. Alice wasn't about to screw that up.

Jim was wearing the same leather jacket from the shuttle, though he had cleaned off the contents of the bar fight off of it, with a beige shirt underneath and faded blue jeans. Leonard was wearing a blue flannel shirt, unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up, a black shirt underneath and dark jeans. Jim's normally messy hair was brushed, and Leonard's normally well-kempt hair was tussled slightly. It was the first time Alice had seen either them relaxed.

Once they were within earshot, Alice pushed herself off of the lamppost she had been leaning against, a smile tugging slightly at the corner of her lips. "Wow, I wouldn't have believed it, but you boys actually do clean up nice."

Jim looked at her with a playful mixture of hurt and betrayal, like a puppy that had been left behind at the house, his crystal blue eyes holding mischief that let her know he was joking. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well I've only seen either of you either beaten to a pulp," her harsh eyes meeting Jim's, "in drunken misery,' she turned her gaze to Leonard, "or sweating like dogs," which applied to both of them.

"You know I could counter that," Jim said wryly, "but I'm not really in the mood to get slapped."

"Smart man," Alice teased him before leading them both into the bar.

Unlike most, Joe's Bar only faintly smelled like vomit mixed with the strong aroma of alcohol; and it was much cleaner. The music wasn't nearly as loud or annoying, tending to have a classical vibe in its selection. And most importantly, there were no cadets in that God awful red uniform.

"Alice!" the bartender exclaimed as the three of them entered. "It's been forever!"

"It's been six months, Joe," Alice replied, her voice friendly if not a slight bit condescending. "Hardly, forever."

Jim looked over at Leonard. "So the owner's name is Joe," Alice heard him whisper. "Never would have seen that coming—" but he was cut off when Leonard jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow.

"I guess I just missed your smiling face," he teased. "Who are the guys escorting you?" Joe asked, motioning to them offhandedly while continuing to dry off a glass.

"Friends from the academy." Alice slid onto a barstool, propping her elbows on the counter, resting her head on her hands. Jim and Leonard followed suit. Jim on her right, Leonard on her left.

"So your father finally got you to enlist huh?" Joe set the glass he was cleaning down. "I imagine it's the usual for you then?"

"Make it two shots of vodka," Alice sighed, shaking her head. "It's been a long day."

Joe nodded, pulling out two shot glasses and pouring them for her before turning to Jim and Leonard.

"Bones here will have an old fashioned, to remind him of his youth," Jim said, an obnoxious grin plastered on his face.

"Old fashioned—" McCoy started before shooting Jim a murderous glare. "Dammit, Kirk, I'm 28, not a fucking dinosaur!" He turned to Joe. "Whiskey. You know what, make it a double. It's been a long day and I've had to put up with this asshole for most of it."

"Oh, come on, Bones," Jim laughed. "You know you love me." Then to Joe, "Bourbon, neat."

Alice chuckled softly, "All we need is a fourth named Tequila and we have all our bases covered." Beside her, Leonard chuckled. She rose the first of her shots but stayed herself from drinking it. "Is this the part where we make some profound toast?"

"It doesn't have to be profound, sweetheart," Bones said, raising his glass, inspecting the liquid that sloshed around slightly.

"Then here's to the best and worse decisions of our entire lives," Alice said with a soft smile.

"Ain't that the truth," Leonard grumbled, clinking his glass lightly against hers.

"I can drink to that," Jim agreed, following suit.

Alice downed the first shot in one quick swallow before quickly pounding the other one before either Jim or Leonard made it through half of theirs. And she ignored the raised eyebrow look of amusement from Leonard and the seemingly knowing smirk from Jim. "I'll take two more, Joe."

"Alright," Joe said, shaking his head as he grabbed the bottle. "First round was on me as a 'welcome back' gift, now the drinks are on you."

"Yeah, I know." Alice picked up her third and downed it swiftly. "Put it on my tab," she said through a wince.

Leonard had just finished his own. "I think I'm going to open up a tab as well."

"I second that motion. Can I get another?" Jim said, setting his glass down loudly. But a group of blonds and brunettes caught his attention. "Oh…" He followed them not so subtly, spinning like a child on the barstool. "On second thought, I'll hold off on that second drink for now." And then he was gone.

"Unbelievable," McCoy groaned before he grabbed Alice's fourth shot and downed it.

"Hey," Alice cried out in playful protest. "That was mine."

"Then let me buy you another one."

The intensity of his hazel eyes as they locked onto her own would have been enough to make her blush if she had actually managed to get to her fourth shot before Leonard had. And it wasn't just the eyes. That southern drawl of his was almost as intoxicating as the alcohol rushing through her system, already making her feel a little bubbly. And he had this half smirk on his face, taking off the rough edge he remained hardened with.

Alice leaned towards him just slightly. "I don't let anyone buy me a drink."

"She doesn't," Joe agreed, appearing almost out of thin air from his place behind the counter.

"Thanks, Joe," he said sarcastically. Then Leonard smiled at Alice, flipping the glass upside-down before setting it on the counter. "Then it looks like you're going to need to buy yourself another drink."

* * *

"Pro basketball?" Alice asked in disbelief, shaking her head. It was so much easier for her to smile, especially when her ebony hair fell chaotically around her and tickled her face. It was probably the most relaxed and carefree she had looked in been in months.

They had been in the bar for a little over an hour now. Several shots and drinks had made Leonard open up and smile nearly as much as Alice was. He had remained by her side at the counter, letting Joe refill his glass, while Jim had his arm slung around some blond, making her giggle almost every minute like clockwork. But Alice didn't mind.

"You wanted to be a pro basketball player?" She couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"Why is it everyone laughs when I tell them that?" Leonard asked, sipping casually from his beer.

"I think it's just hard to imagine is all," Alice smiled, tracing her finger lightly along the rim of her shot glass. "I mean you barely made it through that obstacle course."

Leonard frowned, though his slight smile remained. "You don't have to crawl under barbed wire or maneuver over six-foot walls in basketball."

The glacier blue of her eyes sparkled with light, "That would be awesome," she breathed before finally picking up shot number unknown and downing it. "I might actually be able to sit through a game without falling asleep before it even starts."

Leonard chuckled softly, taking a swig of his beer. "What about you? Didn't you want to be anything other than what you are?"

 _Normal._ It was almost out of her mouth before she realized. But by sheer luck she managed to stop herself, the near slip sobering her up slightly even though her recent shot was still making her float.

She smiled to misdirect. "I don't know," she answered, shaking her head.

"Come on," Leonard said, disbelieving edge to his words. "There has to be something crazy or adorable you wanted to be 'when you grew up.'" He even added his own little quotations with his fingers.

Alice stared at the wall for a second, before chuckling softly. There hadn't really been anything until she was twelve, but she remembered what she _wanted to be_ back when naiveté and innocence were novel concepts.

"Okay," Alice relented. "Let's make a bet out of it." Her eyes shimmered with mischief. "I'll let you buy me a drink. If it's a good one, and I like it, I'll tell you. If not…" she thought of a suitable punishment. "You pick up my tab the next time we're in here."

"You'll let me buy you a drink?" Leonard asked in complete bewilderment, propping himself on his elbows.

"Buy me a drink, Leonard?" Alice toned down the smile from drunken happy to friendly insistent as she gave him a puppy dog look that easily rivaled Jim's.

"Leon," he corrected her.

"You mean your nickname isn't Bones?" she said with feigned innocence.

He scoffed. "No."

She nudged him playfully with her hand. "Buy me a drink, _Leon_?"

Leonard had to look away from her radiant gaze before nodding. "Joe!" he hollered, his voice carrying over the noise from music and multitudes of conversation. It wasn't until the heavyset bartender made his way over that Alice caught a playful gleam in his hazel eyes. "What's her favorite drink?"

"Mai tai—"

"Joe!"

"What?" he asked, looking bewildered.

But Alice had turned her attention from Joe back to Leonard. "That's cheating!"

"You didn't say I couldn't," he laughed. "One mai tai for the lady, please. On my tab."

"Coming right up."

Leonard looked at her, a knowing smirk before downing the last of his beer. Alice scowled playfully. "I'll get you back for this," she vowed.

"I bet you will, sweetheart," he said. "But at least it will be after you tell me what you wanted to be before adult life smacked you with reality."

"Maybe you should have been a poet _and_ basketball player with such colorful language."

"And maybe you should quit stalling," he teased, pointing to the freshly made drink Joe had just set on the counter.

Alice didn't break eye contact as she picked up her mai tai and took the longest drink in history from a hurricane glass before she slowly set it down. "I wanted to raise horses."

But Leonard McCoy didn't laugh. "Really?" he asked, genuine curiosity. "I didn't figure you the type."

"And you know this _type_ , huh?"

"Yup," he answered. "Parents own a ranch in Georgia. Always had five or more out in the fields"

It was Alice's turn to be curious. "Really?"

"Mhm," Leonard hummed. But his tone made it obvious that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, and Alice knew better than to push for details that weren't freely given.

Their conversation may have trailed off, but there certainly wasn't any silence. Laughter, loud voices, and music still punctuated the atmosphere. Leonard ordered another beer, and Alice continued to work on the sweet drink that had been ordered for her when movement from the door caught her attention. A taller man with sandy blonde hair and brown eyes entered the bar. His gaze found Alice.

"Shit!" Alice hissed, pitching forward and letting her hair fall across her face as though it would hide her. It was a futile attempt, she knew that, but the foolish always cling to hope.

"Alice Khan," the man said, his booming voice locking her up. He came to stand beside her, slapping the counter as he did, causing her to jump. "I thought when you left for Vulcan, you were gone for good."

Alice did look up at him, instead, she leaned away from him, towards Leonard. "I guess you thought wrong, Jason," she answered quietly, finishing her drink her drink with rigid movements.

Jason laughed mockingly, taking a step towards her. It was as she shrank away that Leonard stood up.

"Is there a problem here?" He asked, hazel eyes with a threatening glow to them.

"And who are you, asshole?" Jason became defensive but didn't back off.

" _Doctor_ Leonard McCoy of Starfleet," Leonard said strongly. "Is there a problem here?"

Jason looked Leonard up and down with a critical eye, a sneer permanently fixed on his face before he ignored his repeated question. "Is this southern hick my replacement?" He asked, anger coloring his words in red.

By now they had drawn the eyes from the people around them. The conversation grew quieter by those around them as they instead talked about what was happening. From across the room, Jim was untangling himself from the nameless girl wrapped around his neck.

Alice looked at him. "That's enough, Jason."

Jason shook his head in disbelief. "I'll let you know when it's enough," his eyes flickered to Leonard then back to her, " _darlin'_ ," he added, in a horribly mocking fake accent.

Leonard was there, though, coming in between Jason and Alice by shoving him backward, causing Jason to stumble as he collided with the barstool behind him. He straightened himself out quickly, drawing up to his full height, ready for a fight, but Leonard stopped him.

"Would you like to see how fast I can put you in a hospital?" It may have been worded as a question, but Leonard put his full weight behind the threat. Clenched fists and a firmly set jaw made Leonard look dangerous.

Jim came up from behind Jason. "Doctor's. They know how to put you together," He came to stand beside Alice as well, "and they're the best at taking people apart."

Jason's eyes flickered from Jim to Leonard before settling faintly on Alice. "Fine," he relented tensely, then his gaze focused on Leonard. "Word of advice, don't waste your time on this one. It's not like she's going to let you touch her anyway."

But Leonard didn't dignify Jason with a response, merely stared him down. Jason sneered before he finally took the hint.

"You alright?" Jim asked as soon as Jason had slammed the door behind him.

"I'm fine, Jim," Alice said, forcing a smile for him. "Go back to your antics."

Jim didn't believe her and hesitated in leaving. It was only the slight nod from Leonard, one that Alice seemed to miss, that finally got him to leave her alone about it.

Leonard returned to the barstool he had been sitting at before the intrusion into their night. "Can we get a couple of beers?" he asked as Joe walked by before turning his attention to Alice. "He your ex-boyfriend or something?"

Alice took a swig from the bottle Joe offered her. "Yup."

"Well then, it looks like we have one thing in common." Alice's flat questioning look made him continue. "Bad breakups that led to questionable decisions"

Alice scoffed. "I guess we do."

They both nursed their drinks in silence for a bit. The whole incident had been sobering for the both of them, though Leonard had sobered up slightly for Alice's benefit more so than anything.

"So how did you tow split up?" Leonard finally asked though he did so offhandedly as if he didn't really expect her to answer.

And Alice almost didn't. She didn't owe him an answer just because he and Jim had scared Jason off, and she didn't like to talk about it. But there was something in his voice other than curiosity and his normal gruff. It was the compassion that he buried underneath his rough stoicism.

"He gave me an ultimatum six months ago," she sighed before taking a large gulp of her beer. "And I made my choice."

"Did you see it coming?"

"Not when he made me choose, no," she admitted. "But now…I should have seen it coming from miles away." Alice turned towards him. "What about you?"

He didn't give an immediate response, hesitating to answer. "It was a touch and go surgery when a man in a suit approached me, clearly a lawyer since no one wears suits in a hospital. When he handed me the folder I thought malpractice suit, an order to appear in court, or a hundred other reasons he was there." He took a swig of beer. "I guess that was my problem," he sighed. "I didn't even think of my wife until I was told they were divorce papers." Leonard met her gentle gaze. "I was surprised then, but not now. I didn't give her the attention someone like her demands or deserves."

"Well, she didn't give you're the chance you deserved. She didn't think you were worth it, worth the effort to make it work." But Leonard only chuckled dryly. Alice paused for a moment. "Did you love her?"

"Did you love him?" he countered quickly.

Alice frowned slightly. "I did, but I always found myself thinking that I wasn't enough for him." She shrugged. "That he wanted something more than what I was giving him."

"He didn't deserve your love then, sweetheart."

"Right," she scoffed.

"I loved her," Leonard admitted. "A part of me still does, but something changed a little over a year ago. I think that's part of the reason she divorced me."

"What changed?" Alice asked tenderly.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was her kind nature, or maybe it was because she had answered his questions. "She found out that she couldn't have kids."

Alice swallowed hard. _That's certainly awful_. "Alright," she sighed, "you win."

"I win?"

"Yeah," she waved Joe over. "Your breakup was way more fucked up than mine."

Leonard laughed bitterly before shooting her a genuine smile. "I suppose it is."

"Two shots of Jack, straight up." Alice then rose her glass once they were poured. "To the drunken exes. May we never go through that bullshit again."

"Amen to that, sweetheart," Leonard said with a smirk, crashing his shot glass against Alice's.

~~.O.~~

So, I decided to embrace the whole "butterfly effect" route with the alternate reality caused by Spock Prime when it came to Leonard's wife since there's no mention of his daughter. If the Star Trek XIII mentions his daughter, then I guess it's AU time.

Anyway, let me what you think, and thank you for reading! :)


	4. Kirk

Kirk's crystal blue eyes were slightly red when he dropped his tray loudly on the table across of McCoy before hoisting himself onto the bench with a loud groan. McCoy looked up at him from his own breakfast, chuckling softly as he shook his head.

"Didn't stop drinking last night did you?" he asked, not even attempting to mask the amusement in his voice.

"You drank almost as much as I did last night," Kirk glared. "How are you in a better mood than me?"

"Perks of being a doctor, kid," he answered. "I know how to cure a hangover."

"Show off."

McCoy smirked before continuing to eat what the Academy tried to pass as edible food. It was all kinds of cold, soggy, and stale; the only saving grace was the coffee that was the only item on the menu that tasted as it was supposed to. Kirk, however, didn't seem to mind, as he plowed through it without much concern.

"You're James Kirk," some bushy eyed cadet said from beside Kirk. He looked like a fool standing there, tray in hand as the already cold food became colder.

"It's Jim," Kirk said, not even bothering to look up from his own food.

"Yeah, but you're him," the cadet continued. "You look just like your dad."

That caused a response.

Kirk paused mid-bite, toast in hand before he very calmly set it back down on the rim of his plate.

"Your point being?"

"What's it like?"

McCoy studied the situation carefully. Kirk had tensed up and, for the first time since he had met him, had yet to make a smart ass response or obnoxious comment. It was only as he eyed the cadet—finding his dislike for him growing by the second—that he noticed Alice standing behind him, watching and listening in.

"Right now, it's irritating," Kirk said, his voice dangerously even.

It was as the cadet looked like he was going keep talking that McCoy decided he had enough. "Beat it, kid," he growled. "Some of us want to eat breakfast in peace." The glare that Kirk was immune to worked easily on the cadet as he quickly spun around to leave.

And ran right into Alice.

She had heard what was going on and set her tray down in anticipation, waiting patiently. As the cadet had turned to scurry off, Alice walked forward, flipping the bottom of his tray upwards and forcing it against his chest as she seemingly collided with him on pure accident.

Oatmeal and smooshed fruit clung to the cadet's uniform as the milk slowly drained off of him in a splattered mess. The dishes clattered onto the tile floors loudly. McCoy could have sworn that the cadet's mouth made the perfect, stereotypical look of surprise as he stared down at his ruined uniform in disbelief and shock.

"Oh my—" Alice covered her mouth in apparent horror. "Oh my God," she said, her voice wavering with embarrassment and dismay. "I am so sorry. I didn't even see you there." Alice reached out her hands as if to reassure him, but changed her mind. "God, I'm such a ditz," she said, words rushing out of her mouth. "Here let me help you." Alice straightened out the tray the cadet had a death lock hold on before she bent down to pick up the dishes and utensils off of the floor, avoiding touching any of the spilled food, before she placed them back onto the tray.

"Again, I am so, so sorry," Alice said with full sincerity. And then she straightened up, dropping the façade. "You really should hurry up back to your dorm, though," she said quietly, coldly. "You are required to be present in a clean uniform." Her eyes narrowed slightly, the gleaming blue, green, and gold of her eyes dangerous. "You know, regulations and all."

McCoy watched Alice follow the cadet with her eyes as he ran out of the mess hall before she retrieved the tray she had set down earlier. She didn't look smug as he would have if he had played someone as well as she had. Her expression was blank as if tearing that kid a new one hadn't even fazed her. It was either terrifying or impressive.

"You alright?" Alice asked as she took a seat next to Kirk.

"I'm fine," Kirk said flatly.

"Really?" Alice asked. She then smiled softly at him. "Because you look like crap"

Kirk shook his head. "How is it that you and Bones are perfectly fine from last night?"

"I have a high metabolism," Alice said as she began to dig into her food.

"High metabolism, huh?" McCoy asked, not believing her for a second.

Alice smirked at him. "High tolerance. I've been going to Joe's since I was old enough to buy my first fake ID."

"That's illegal," Kirk said chastising.

"So is adultery."

"She's got a point, Kirk," McCoy added.

"Wait," Kirk said shaking his head as his slightly as his hungover mind finally focused. "You lived here?"

"Live," Alice answered. "I have an apartment a few blocks away from Joe's."

"Didn't think cadets could afford their own apartments," McCoy said with a raised eyebrow.

"They can't," she admitted.

"So what are you, daddy's money?" Kirk asked.

McCoy saw her flinch at that, but she tried to hide it behind a spoonful of the spongy oatmeal.

"Something like that."

Kirk must not have noticed her flinch, though. "So are we good enough friends for me to crash at your apartment in case my roommates don't pan out?"

Alice dropped her spoon having clearly lost interest in her breakfast and gave Kirk an unamused look before leaning in slightly. "Let me be perfectly clear. Under no circumstances will you ever, _ever_ make it into my apartment."

"I thought we were friends," Kirk whined.

"As your friend," McCoy finally interjected, feeling like the chaperone more than a doctor, "I suggest you drop it."

Kirk gasped with fake surprise. "We're friends?"

"You're such a child," McCoy sneered, but Alice was chuckling softly, so he didn't mind Kirk's immaturity too much. He nodded at her to get her attention. "What's on your schedule for today?"

"Psych," she grimaced. "Then physical."

"Ouch," Kirk winced sympathetically. "I managed to get that over with yesterday."

"Lucky," Alice said dryly, but her cryptic gaze remained on McCoy. "What about you?"

"Meeting with my advisor to sort out some discrepancies in my schedule."

"What's wrong with it?" Alice asked curiously, stacking both Kirk's and McCoy's trays on top of her own.

"It's designed for someone who doesn't already have an MD."

"Show off," Kirk repeated, though this time, he was in a slightly better mood.

Alice rose to her feet, stepping out from behind the table gingerly, collecting the trays from the table. "I better get these evaluations out of the way. Lunch?"

"I've got a meeting with Pike," Kirk shrugged.

"Who knows how long it will take to fix my schedule," McCoy offered.

"Dinner then," Alice said, smiling. "Don't be late, boys."

McCoy couldn't stop himself from watching Alice leave. He was nowhere near as obvious about it as most would have been as he traced the outline of her red uniform. But unfortunately for him, Kirk noticed, a ridiculous smirk plastered on his face.

"Thought you were done with that _horseshit_ ," Kirk pressed.

McCoy sneered at him. "The hell you talking about?"

"Relax, Bones," he snickered. "There's no harm in looking."

"Don't be such a child," McCoy growled.

"I saw the way you two were talking last night. She's got a thing for you." Kirk winked at him. It was the second time he had brought it up in 48 hours.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "There a reason you keep bringing that up?"

"So you're not interested?" When he only received a glare he continued on. "Meaning you won't mind…?" Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"Jesus, Kirk! She's not property," McCoy snarled scornfully.

"I know that. I just don't want to step in on your territory."

"You're unbelievable," McCoy said, rising to his feet. Kirk followed closely behind.

"It's part of my charm." Kirk gave him a ridiculous smile. "See you around, Bones."

McCoy only groaned as he waved Kirk off.

* * *

The loud cracking of McCoy's neck made him realize just how tense he was. Two days into his life contract with Starfleet and it was already taking its toll. Though, his attempt to pickle his liver almost every night for the past six months probably wasn't doing him any favors either.

McCoy sighed loudly, wiping the sweat from his brow. He could understand why they were required to wear uniforms: unity, to emphasize that every member of Starfleet was part of a team, to identify corps and rank. What he couldn't understand was why they had to make the damn things out of a material that conducted heat as well as wearing a full-body suit of wool.

He tugged at his collar before continuing to walk across campus.

Six months ago he'd been drinking vintage wines reasonably at the most expensive restaurants in Atlanta or while attending the parties of some of the wealthier citizens that were honored to have him, Georgia's rising star in medicine, in their presence. He had a job he loved, the best friends anyone could ask for—much more civilized than the people he had to deal with now—and a home he could be proud of. He'd had the perfect wife, the perfect life.

 _Murphy's law,_ McCoy thought bitterly. _Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong_. And it had all gone catastrophically wrong all at once.

And that's why he was here, putting himself through what felt exactly like college all over again, right down to the annoying freshmen that bugged the shit out you. His first round of college had been hell. Having to ultimately do it all over again…words could not describe just how horrendous it felt.

At least he managed to get the advisor to fix his schedule. It took a lot of time and quite a few phone calls, but they managed to figure out what to do with him. Apparently, he was as big of a catch as the recruiter had said he was, but that didn't mean they knew how to deal with a cadet that was already a board certified doctor.

McCoy still had to take all the other classes required by all cadet's despite what track they were on, the general education classes to continue with his analogy; but they had allowed him to drop almost all of the classes required for the med track specifically, only making him take those reserved for the last year or so that were tailored for working on starships and dealing with unknown illnesses, diseases, et cetera, that could come from unexplored worlds—the mere thought of having to do so sending his anxiety levels through the roof.

But with gaping holes in his schedule, he needed to supplement the removed classes with working in the on-campus hospital. Starfleet Academy couldn't let him have any free time despite the fact that he had a medical degree over the others. That would be unfair.

 _Unfair_. McCoy thought murderously. It was the exact word his advisor had used. _The man probably doesn't even know the meaning of the word_.

What was unfair was the fact that every cadet, every single damn on of 'em, would stare at him as they passed by. Some of them didn't look old enough to have hit puberty yet, and here he was, old enough to be a bitter divorcee already.

The only people, despite one of them who kept bringing up his age, who didn't seem to care that he was older than they were, were Alice and Kirk.

Six months ago if he had found himself in their company, he would have thought that he had finally hit the bottom, that it couldn't get much worse. Now, as he found himself walking around a goddamn campus in a tacky red uniform with the promise of space travel looming before him, he optimistically—and uncharacteristically—thought that he might be digging himself out of the sinking pit. Not that he'd ever let on to that. God forbid Kirk ever knew that McCoy had any sort of decent thought about him.

McCoy continued making his way back to his dorm room—he still couldn't get over the fact that he was back in a dorm—opting to relax for what might be the last time until classes finally started. He wouldn't have even noticed the iridium statue if the sun hadn't caught it in such a way that blinded him momentarily.

He wasn't really sure why he had stopped to look at it. But there was no way that he would be able to un-see it.

Underneath the statue, there was a plaque that read "Captain George Samuel Kirk of the _U.S.S. Kelvin_."

That cadet had been right. Jim really did look just like him.

* * *

 _There's no fucking way one family could have been that unlucky_ , McCoy thought. But the evidence was irrefutable, flashing up at him from his PADD:

"George Kirk. Born 2204 in San Francisco. Attended Starfleet Academy 2222-2225. Married to Winona Davis 2228.86. Commissioned on the _U.S.S. Kelvin_ , Science Division 2227.09. Promoted to First Officer 2232. Son James Tiberius Kirk born 2233.04. Killed in Action 2233.04. Posthumous Medals: _Medal of honor; Kelvin Cross; Distinguished Service Award_."

Ever since he had seen the statue of George Kirk, McCoy had spent his free time reading up on him. At first, he wondered how the hell Jim could be related to the man. Now, he had a vague notion as to why Jim didn't seem to be related to George at all.

He didn't even hear Kirk approach until he was clasping him on the shoulders from behind, causing McCoy to jump.

"Hey, Bones!" Kirk greeted him enthusiastically, goofy smile plastered on his face. "What're you reading?" he asked as he sidled up next to Bones on the bench. They were seated outside of the Mess Hall, where they had agreed to meet Alice.

McCoy could have lied, but didn't think that was the best idea. Certainly not a way to make a good first impression with a new friend. _God damn, are we friends?_ McCoy thought.

"About Captain George Kirk."

The smile that Kirk had been wearing dissipated instantly and his eyes went dark as he closed himself off. The relaxed and playful behavior of his was swapped with something much more defensive.

"You saw the statue," he sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"It's kind of hard to miss, kid," McCoy shrugged.

"I know," Kirk all but groaned. Then he waited for it, but McCoy just kept reading from his PADD. From where he was sitting, Kirk saw him switch from the article on his father to one that was about some new medical advancement that he could barely follow.

"And?" Kirk asked, annoyed.

McCoy knew what he was asking after. He wanted McCoy to get all of the overly personal questions everyone would want to ask him so that he could angrily refuse to do so in such a way that made sure they never brought it up again. But if Kirk hadn't asked him about his life, McCoy wasn't about to do so.

McCoy looked over at Jim, his eyes sincere, "And if you ever need someone to drink with you about it, let me know. It's always better to have a good excuse as to why you're passed out on the barroom floor," he said, before returning his attention back to his PADD

Kirk looked at him with a questioning frown. "Is this you being nice?"

"I know. I feel like I need to bathe in acid," McCoy smiled but didn't look up from what he was reading.

"You're alright, Bones," Kirk chuckled.

"Yeah, but keep that to yourself. It'll ruin the reputation I'm trying to start here."

Kirk laughed softly, shaking his head. He then paused for a beat.

"Do you think Alice knows?"

McCoy looked up at him. "You saw what she did to that cadet this morning. Trust me, she knows."

"Yeah," Kirk sighed. Then there was a shimmer of light that returned to his eyes. "That was pretty amazing."

"It was brutal."

"That's why it was so amazing."

"What was amazing?" Alice asked as she approached.

"I was just telling Bones how amazing it was that you told _us_ not to be late, but here you are, arriving late," Kirk fired off quickly with one of his signature smiles accompanying it.

Alice frowned at him in such a way that made it obvious she didn't believe him for a second. "It took longer than I thought it was going to," she shrugged.

McCoy frowned slightly. There was no reason that a psych evaluation and a physical would carry on for almost an entire die. She was lying about something.

"Well, I'm starving," Kirk said, jumping to his feet. "Let's go get something to eat." He reached out as if to guide Alice forward, similar to how a significant other might guide their partner forward. An obvious flirtation.

What wasn't quite so obvious was the reason why Alice recoiled violently away from him as if she had been struck.

Both McCoy and Kirk stared after her.

Alice smiled, trying to abate the awkwardness that was settling in. She massaged her herself up and down the length of her upper arm nervously. "Sorry," she tried. "I wasn't expecting that." She then motioned towards the Mess Hall. "Shall we?"

McCoy saw Kirk's frown and knew the kid wanted to question her about her reaction, at the very least. But as a doctor, he knew that was the worst possible thing that could be done at the moment. His heart ached. Alice had reacted exactly the way a victim of abuse would have. He hoped that he was wrong in his observation.

"Come on," McCoy said, shoving him forward before Kirk could make things works. "Weren't you starving?" Thankfully, Kirk took the hint and walked on, leading the way.

McCoy didn't miss the small grateful smile Alice shot him before she followed Kirk.

Or the fact that her thumb was lightly tapping her fingers on her left hand: index, middle, ring, pinky, then back again.

~~.O.~~


	5. Allergic

"Tested out of Intro to Strategic Theory, Combatives I and II, and Intro to Weapons and Defensive systems," Captain Pike looked up from his PADD. "Impressive."

Alice recognized the tone in his voice, "But?"

"But you opted not to take the test in History of the Federation, Intro to Warp Physics, and Ethics."

She crossed her legs impatiently, forgoing the professional posture required when in uniform. "And?"

"And for someone who wanted to, and I quote, _get this shit over with as quickly as possible_ , I thought you would attempt to test out of all of your classes." He glared at her, trying to see through Alice's walls and figure out what she was doing.

"I figured it would be best to have a few classes with my peers before showing them all up," Alice shrugged.

"You're lying."

Alice met Captain Pike's stare for a few seconds before smiling softly. She was honestly surprised that it had taken him two weeks after classes had started up before finally cornering her and having this conversation. He was always inserting himself into almost every aspect of her life when he knew he could when she would let him. But, he would always give up if she didn't show any sign of dropping monosyllabic or evasive answers.

"You know, you didn't have to call me into your office to talk to me?"

"Really?" Pike asked in disbelief. "You don't answer when I try to get ahold of you on your comm. You actively avoid me on campus. How exactly am I supposed to talk to you?"

"Talking to you would look like you're playing favoritism towards me," Alice offered, calmly.

"That's cute," he said, shaking his head.

Alice chuckled softly. Ruffling him up was always enjoyable. He could command an entire flagship with a level head, but he always became so flustered when it came to her. It became a bit of a game, and she would tease him slightly, but she never kept it up very long. That would be cruel.

"What do you want to know?" she asked, holding out her hands as an invitation to begin his interrogation.

"Have you made any friends?"

Alice could help but laugh, "I'm not 12 years old coming back from my first day at a new school."

"I know," he said, massaging his brow.

"I didn't test out of those classes because I share them with a couple of people I met," she admitted, to appease his curiosity and prevent him from continuing to make himself look like a fool.

"They got names?"

She frowned playfully. "Did this suddenly turn into an interrogation?"

Pike sighed loudly in frustration, "Alice…I'm trying here. Help me out."

"One of 'em's McCoy."

"The doctor?"

"You've heard of him?"

Pike scoffed. "Everyone's heard of him. One of the biggest catches for Starfleet after our first Vulcan science officer. Everyone also knows he sets the _galactic_ record for the worst bedside manner of any doctor."

"That sounds like him," Alice said with a smirk. "The other one is Kirk."

"Kirk? Jim Kirk?"

"Yes." She looked up at him. "No. Don't even bother asking. I wouldn't let you show me any favoritism, I won't spy on him for you."

"It wouldn't be spying…" But Pike stopped when Alice raised her eyebrow accusingly. "Is he doing well?"

"I imagine you have access to his records, Captain Pike." Alice reserved using his rank only when she needed to make a point and show her extreme displeasure in whatever he had done or said to her.

"That's not what I'm asking."

Alice cast her gaze to the side, weighing her options. "He's doing alright," she offered. "Could be doing better if half of the campus population didn't gawk at him because of who his father was or if the other half didn't behave antagonistically towards him because of the reputation he got from that bar fight the day before he enlisted." She looked back at him, the glacier blue of her eyes intimidating, the green calm, and the gold threatening. "Is that good enough?"

"Yes," Pike said, relaxing back in his chair. "Thank you."

"Anything else?" Alice asked as she rose to her feet.

"Yes, actually," he answered, retrieving something from his desk. "The Academy is hosting a gala for donors and alumni." He handed her the invite.

"No," Alice said before he was even able to get the question out.

"If I have to go, you have to go." Pike held up his hands defensively in response to her glare. "I hate these events as much as you do."

Alice rolled her eyes. "When is it?"

"In two weeks," he said, not bothering to hide his smug smile in victory. "Information is on the invitation. You can bring a date if you'd like."

"Because that worked so well last time," Alice mumbled before leaving the office, closing the door softly behind her.

* * *

It was as Alice was walking out of the Faculty Offices building that she spotted Jim. He looked a little more disheveled than usual, hair slightly messy, uniform a bit askew. And he was limping. Concern urged her forward as a slight jog.

"Jim! Are you alright?" Alice asked, coming up from behind him and placing herself directly in his path. She placed a hand on his shoulder softly to stop him.

"Yeah," Jim said, shrugging her off. "It's just a sprain."

There was no way she was going to buy that lie. "You don't limp that badly on a sprain."

"It's nothing," he waved her off, trying to continue forward; but Alice stopped him again.

"Jim…" She didn't understand why he was clearly avoiding going to Medical, but she could understand the feeling of not wanting to. "I hate doctors and hospitals more than anyone," Alice tried. "But you need to get that looked at."

"Alice, I'm—"

"Leon's working there now," she interrupted, "let him take a look at it."

"Leon?"

"His actual nickname isn't Bones," Alice frowned. "Don't misdirect."

Jim sighed loudly, "You're not going to drop it, are you?"

"No," she shook her head, taking him lightly by the arm, "do you need any help?"

"I'm fine," he repeated, shrugging her off again.

Alice made a disgusted noise as she walked beside him, making it obvious she was going to see him all the way there to make sure he didn't back out. Though, a part of her wish he would so that she wouldn't have to go to the hospital herself. She just kept telling herself it was for Jim the entire way there.

"Sit your ass down!" Leonard snarled, opting for a greeting more suitable to his personality than your standard _hello_.

It was made clear to Jim and Alice that _Doctor_ McCoy was a lot less patient and understanding than the man Jim had christened _Bones_.

"I am sat down," Jim whined, quickly throwing himself back down on the bed in the room. He _had_ been getting up to leave after having to wait an _agonizing_ five minutes for Leonard to show, but he didn't feel that mentioning it to Doctor McCoy would be the smartest thing to do, lest he risk increasing the intensity of wrath.

Alice hid her smile behind her hand as she waited patiently in the corner. She was clearly the only reason Jim hadn't bolted out of the hospital after taking just two steps passed the doors. Not that she blamed him of course. Alice had been itching to turn around and head in the complete opposite direction as soon as the massive hospital building had come into view. Inside the building, her skin felt like it was crawling, and she had to actively focus on keeping her breathing steady, keeping herself calm. Babysitting Jim had provided her with a slight distraction from where she was.

 _This is for Jim. He's injured_ , she reminded herself.

"What idiotic stunt were you pulling this time?" Doctor McCoy accused as he took a seat at the end of the bed, gingerly easing Jim's shoe and sock off with the careful movements of years of practice. Jim didn't even flinch, though, Alice realized he could just have a damn good poker face.

"And why are you here?" Doctor McCoy added, eyeballing Alice.

"She's the only reason _I'm_ here," Jim sighed, shooting Alice a soft glare of annoyance.

"Then you should be thanking her instead of glaring at her," Doctor McCoy growled. "She shouldn't have had to hold your hand to get you here." He grabbed his tricorder from a nearby tray. "You still haven't answered my first question."

"Stairs man. They're evil."

Alice could tell that it was a lie from where she was standing off to the side, and it surprised her. Jim had been nothing but friendly, albeit annoying at the same time, towards her and Leonard. What didn't make sense was why he would like to them, and why he would lie now and about something so trivial.

But the shrug Jim backed his lie up with made it easy for Doctor McCoy to buy as he gave him a noncommittal noise and nodded faintly. He placed one of his hands softly over the swollen joint while he used the other to press against the ball of his foot. "How does that feel?"

"Fine."

 _He's lying_ , she thought, willing for Leonard to hear her.

Doctor McCoy continued with his exam, beginning to gently manipulate Jim's foot, moving it back and forth, side to side. "And now?"

"Okay, I guess," Jim smiled.

 _He's lying_! Alice wanted to shout, but she couldn't bring herself to betray her friend. Certainly not to a doctor. Instead, she just continued to feel guilty as Jim grew pale with the pain, looking as if he were about to be sick.

Doctor McCoy removed his hands and backed away from Jim, grabbing his PADD from the tray, skimming through Jim's medical file briefly, adding his own notes to it from his examination. "You've had your physical already?"

"Yup."

 _At least now he's telling the truth_. Alice let herself relax a little.

"And your name's Jim Kirk, right?

Jim frowned at him. "Last I checked, yeah. Why?"

"I just wanted to see if you were capable of telling the truth," Doctor McCoy snarled, throwing his PADD on a nearby counter as he glared at Jim. Alice couldn't stop herself from flinching. "Your ankle's broken, meaning if I ask you if it hurts, the correct answer is _yes, doctor_."

Both Jim and Alice looked at him in near horror as he began to busy himself around the room. Neither of them had seen him so genuinely mad before.

"Your medical file is a complete joke," he continued, "and if the person who conducted your physical had an ounce of professional integrity, they would have flagged it." McCoy then came up beside him and swiftly stabbed him in the neck with a hypo, causing Jim to jump and cry out in surprise. Alice hadn't even seen it coming.

"What was in that?" Jim asked, his voice feathery with something Alice recognized all too readily: panic.

"A painkiller," Doctor McCoy said gruffly. "You're welcome."

Jim's eyes looked panic stricken for a moment before they rolled back and he began to wheeze. Leonard's face dropped as he realized what was happening.

"Jim!" Alice called out, her heart leaping into her throat.

"Son of a bitch!" Leonard lunged for the alarm on the wall before moving towards Jim, catching him before he crashed forward, forcing him backward onto the bed. Several nurses rushed into the room.

"I need an intubation kit now. He's having an allergic reaction." The nurses moved with precision, handing Leonard the medical equipment he required.

"To a painkiller?" Alice asked, her voice wavering. She hadn't even realized she had moved forward until Doctor McCoy stopped her.

"Alice, against the wall, out of the way, do not talk!" Leonard shouted at her, his hazel eye cold and threatening before he returned his attention to Jim.

Alice pressed herself firmly against the wall, praying for it to swallow her whole as her breathing became ragged and her heart rate increased. Fear and panic made her feel so small in the hospital room. _I shouldn't have brought him here_ , she thought irrationally as the walls began to close in on her. She watched on in horror as Leonard had to force a tube down Jim's throat and the nurses injected him with epinephrine.

Weakly, Alice tried to fight off the claustrophobia and terror by lightly tapping her fingers against the wall: thumb, index, middle, ring, pinky, and back again. She didn't realize that she was crying, even as the tears slipped past the hand that was covering her mouth, keeping herself from screaming.

* * *

Alice closed her comm. unit before returning back to the room, having successfully explained to their ethics and physical training instructors why Jim, Leonard, or herself wouldn't be attending class or final formation. Both of them had been very adamant that it _wasn't_ an excuse for not attending. However, Alice didn't have the patience to argue with them and instead told them to expect a call from Captain Pike.

The message she sent him afterward had read _"Kirk, allergic reaction to painkillers. McCoy, Kirk, and I unable to make class or formation."_

And she had received an equally as simple response back. _"I'll take care of it_." Alice could always count on him.

Leonard was still in the room, standing beside Jim when Alice entered the room. She skirted around him—his threatening glare all too fresh in her mind and all too familiar—to the opposite side of the bed, pulling up one of the chairs with her.

Collapsing into the chair, Alice let out a deep sight, attempting to relax. But she couldn't keep herself from drumming her fingers against the leg she had crossed over the other.

She remained there in silence for what seemed like an eternity in the hospital room with the walls that were far too close, watching Jim as he breathed. Every breath served to alleviate the weight she felt crushing her chest.

"He'll be alright," Leonard finally said, breaking the heavy silence.

Alice merely nodded, her thoughts a jumbled mess. A mess of doubt, anxiety, fear, and mistrust.

Leonard watched her carefully, critical eyes studying her behavior. "Alice, I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier."

"It's fine, Doctor McCoy," she said flatly. "You were doing your job, and I was in the way." Alice didn't look at him.

"I had no right to speak to you that way, sweetheart—"

The fierce glacier blue of her eyes mimicked the glare Leonard had given her earlier, but the green and gold only added to the intensity as she locked her gaze onto his, challenging him.

And he backed down.

 _Never trust a doctor_ , she thought bitterly, old anger and pain resurfacing.

But as she observed Leonard remaining closely beside Jim, checking his vitals on the monitor every few minutes like clockwork, Alice felt bad for how she had just treated him.

"Remind me to stop trying to help people," she looked up at him, the ice of her eyes melting into innocence.

"What do you mean?" Leonard crossed his arms, leaning against an adjacent wall.

"I dragged him here," she shrugged.

"He had a broken ankle," he argued, frowning slightly.

"I could have just told you about it and had you check up on him after ethics."

"Alice," he shook his head. "You did the right thing. And this isn't your fault."

Alice smiled weakly. "I guess I'm just a sucker for blame, then."

Leonard looked as if he was going to continue the conversation, but someone entering the room interrupted him.

Captain Pike stood in the doorway, eyes firmly fixed on Jim.

" _You_!" Leonard snarled. "You want to get me Kirk's _real_ medical file and not this fictional crap that no doctor in their right mind would have signed off on?"

"I can't," Pike said stiffly, his eyes flickered to Alice, but she wasn't going to come to his aid. Not this time.

"And why the hell not!?"

"It's classified, Doctor McCoy."

"Classified!" he roared, surging forward to stop Pike from entering the room further. "I've seen his blood workup. An allergy to common painkillers should have been noted in his medical history, but surprise, surprise, it's missing. As is everything else about Jim Kirk! According to this _medical file_ of his, he just sprang up, healthy at twenty-two with no previous medical history! The Federation must have a damn good magician up their sleeve for that kind of magical bullshit."

"Will he be okay?" Pike asked, completely ignoring Leonard's rant.

Leonard narrowed his eyes, his jaw set firmly, and his face twisted in a threatening sneer. A beat of silence perforated the air before he finally answered. "He's recovering just fine. I treated his anaphylaxis and fixed his ankle. I'm going to keep him overnight for observation, but after that, I'll have him released."

"Thank you, Doctor McCoy," Pike said. He gave a slight nod to Alice before leaving.

Alice found the behavior from Captain Pike…odd. He was never this closed off, and he almost never used the "classified" excuse unless it was for a damn good reason for it. Usually, he used it for her and not against her.

Leonard sighed loudly once the door was shut, running his hand through his hair, tussling it into a slight mess. "Damnit, Jim," he hissed.

Alice came to stand beside him, a tentative hand reaching hesitantly out to him, resting lightly on his shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault, Leon," she said gingerly, trying his own line against him in timid playfulness.

He pulled away from her, shaking his head. "Standard procedure is to ask the patient if their allergic to any medication." Leonard dropped his arms in frustration. "And I didn't, because he's Jim, and annoying, and I didn't have the patience." He became unearthly still before he finally lashed out, "God dammit!" he shouted, kicking a nearby tray, sending medical supplies scattering.

This time, however, Alice didn't flinch away from him.

With more confidence, Alice reached out to him for a second time, pulling on his arm slightly so that he would be more inclined to turn and face her.

Alice flashed him an innocent smile. "It wasn't your fault, sweetheart," she said playfully.

Leonard scoffed softly. "Remind me to stop trying to help people."

"And rid the galaxy of such an incredible doctor, renowned for his bedside manner?" Alice asked, continuing to try and lift his mood even slightly. "Never."

Leonard's soft, albeit slightly bitter, laughter was enough for Alice to forget she was in a hospital for just a few seconds, a miracle of medicine in its own right.

~~.O.~~

And another chapter bites the dust! :)

Please continue to let me know what you think. I love the feedback.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!


	6. Coffee

McCoy was tired, bone weary, and his head pounded as he rose to his feet once more, shuffling slowly towards the monitors set up around Jim, checking on his vitals once more. He tried his best not to look at the digital readout of the time plastered in the corner of each of the screens, but his eyes were drawn to it.

2:00am

 _He should have woken up by now_.

Sighing loudly, McCoy ran his hand through his hair, frustration and exhaustion mixing together about as well as alcohol and milk do.

God, he could use a drink.

McCoy found himself in a mess of epic proportions: Jim having an allergic reaction to a painkiller of all things and nearly dying because of the anaphylaxis, a medical record that spat in the face of every doctor that had ever filled out a medical record, a Captain who clearly knew every _classified_ detail about the situation and would rather risk Kirk's health than disclose, and then there was Alice.

She avoided coming into contact with people or being a part of large crowds. If anyone attempted to touch her, she would flinch or recoil away as if any sort of touch would physically hurt her. She would tense up at loud sounds, crashes or shouts, and become uneasy for several moments afterward. There were a few other peculiar things about her as well: the slight tapping of her fingers together in a fixed pattern whenever she was put into an uncomfortable or stressful situation, or the way she behaved in the hospital as if being there was a death sentence.

McCoy couldn't stop himself from being a doctor, couldn't stop himself from using what he learned to get his M.D. and his Ph.D. in psychiatry. Even if he tried not to, he could recognize the signs.

A victim of abuse.

There were plenty of different mental or behavioral disorders that could explain her behavior, but they all would have stemmed from the same thing: extreme emotional or physical trauma.

And he had yelled at her. _Yelled_ at her.

It was second on the list of things you absolutely do _not_ do to a victim of abuse, the first being repeating the abuse.

And he had yelled at her.

McCoy doubted she'd be able to look at him the same way afterward, and he wouldn't blame her for it. Even if Alice forgave him, McCoy would never forgive himself.

He could really use a drink.

McCoy breathed deeply, turning his gaze from the monitors to Alice. She had fallen asleep several hours ago, and as he watched her, he couldn't stop himself from chuckling softly.

How Alice had managed to completely fit on that chair was beyond him. She wasn't just slouched on the chair, sleeping; she had curled up on it, reminding him of a cat who always found a way to sleep in the smallest of spaces. She had managed to twist herself sideways on the chair, pulling her legs up to her chest as she leaned the side of her head against the back of it. The hospital's blanket she had stolen from the supply room was pulled around her so that only her head and upper shoulders peaked out. It was the most relaxed he had seen her in the hospital.

It was kind of adorable.

But despite her cute little display, McCoy envied her for being able to fall asleep.

He wasn't required to watch over Jim, the monitors would easily wake him up if something went wrong, or Jim would easily wake him up if he caught McCoy sleeping on the job, no doubt. He just couldn't bring himself to fall asleep. Guilt gnawed at him.

 _What was it Alice said_? he wondered, wearily, " _A sucker for blame_?" Well, it was easy for McCoy to place the blame on himself seeing as he was the one that had triggered the damn reaction. _A goddamn painkiller_ , McCoy swore. _What are the odds_? But he knew the odds. Slim to none still meant some.

Satisfied that nothing had changed in Kirk's vitals and that he continued to remain stable, McCoy finally backed away, returning to his chair.

But he must have been more exhausted than he thought. As he reached for the arms of the chair to steady himself before sitting down, his foot caught one of the legs, sending the whole thing screeching across the linoleum floors.

Alice jerked awake with a start, eyes wide as she looked for the source.

"Sorry," McCoy whispered when her eyes met his. Damn those eyes. They were so intense, so full of emotion, and so incredibly void when she closed herself off.

Instead of replying, however, Alice yawned enthusiastically, a soft squeak escaping her as she did so. It took all of his concentration of will to make sure he didn't laugh as she did so. It was damn cute.

"What time is it?" she asked, her voice slightly hoarse.

"Just after two."

Alice unfurled herself, rubbing her eyes slightly to shake off the grogginess. When her gaze settled back on to him, she frowned slightly.

"You look awful."

McCoy chuckled softly, exhaustion making it easier for him to do so. "I'm starting to think that's your favorite thing to say."

"Well if you and Jim behaved like normal human beings, I wouldn't have to say it so often," she said with a small smirk.

Her behavior changed drastically, though, as if a switch had been flipped and she was just now remembering where she was. McCoy watched as she took in her surroundings subtly, a white-knuckled grip on the arm of her chair.

Alice turned her gaze back to him. "You should get some sleep, Leon."

"I can't."

She eyed him curiously. "Can't or won't?"

McCoy only shook his head, slouching further in his chair, hoping that it would be a good enough answer for her.

Rising to her feet, Alice balled up the blanket and threw it at him, clearly not surprised when he was unable to catch it. It hit him in the face softly and Alice didn't stop herself from giggling. "Get some sleep."

"Alice—"

"I'll wake you if anything changes," Alice assured him.

McCoy scowled slightly, wanting to argue, but the insistent glare Alice gave him made him relent. "If one of those numbers increases or decreases by five points, wake me."

"Of course."

"And if—"

"Leon, go to sleep," she ordered him.

McCoy shook his head. There was no point in trying to argue with her. Even if he could have won, he wouldn't. Her eyes and kindness were disarming.

Balling the blanket tighter, McCoy jammed it between his head and the chair. The last thing he saw before exhaustion overtook him was Alice's amused smile.

The subtle aroma of coffee was the first thing he recognized when McCoy slowly came to his senses. His eyesight came back to him next, and he saw Alice standing beside Jim, coffee cup in one of her hands. Her other hand was resting lightly on Jim's wrist.

McCoy let out an involuntary groan as he straightening himself out, his back and neck cracking loudly in the quiet room.

"You're sounding pretty frail there, old man," Alice teased slightly, pulling her hand away from Jim as she turned to face him.

She was smiling softly at him, her eyes like glimmering ice in a bright sun. _There are worse ways to wake up_ , he thought quietly, before what she had said sunk in.

"First Jim, now you," he groaned. "I'm _not_ old."

Alice's smile grew a fraction, "I know." She walked over to a nearby counter, grabbing a second cup of coffee and handing it to him. "It's 6am to answer your next question."

McCoy accepted it cautiously, pretending to ignore the comment she made, cocking an eyebrow. "This isn't the swill from here is it?"

"Of course not," she replied quickly, looking as if she found the idea offensive. "I never drink the coffee from here. Had one of the coffee shops off campus deliver it here."

He took a sip from the coffee, the warm liquid helping wake up. It was damn good coffee, not the drink he had been craving earlier that morning, but it hit the spot well enough for him not to mind the difference. "Coffee shops deliver now?"

"They do when you promise them 1,000% tip on 10 bucks worth of coffee," Alice said from behind the lid of her disposable cup.

"You gave a hundred-dollar tip for coffee?"

Alice raised her eyebrows, "Do you want to drink the Academy's brew?"

"No."

"Then shut up and drink your $55 cup of coffee," she chuckled softly.

"You mean you didn't get me one?" A groggy voice from behind asked.

McCoy rose to his feet, setting down his drink as he came to stand beside Jim. "It's about damn time you woke up," he growled.

"Bones," Jim sighed. "You're particularly cheerful this morning." He tried to sit up, but McCoy quickly forced him back down with a hand on his shoulder. "It is morning, right?"

"Yeah. You've been out for over 12 hours, so the least you could do is thank us for staying up all night making sure you just didn't up and die on us." McCoy quickly began busying himself giving Jim the once over, starting with the monitors. He didn't notice Alice backing up slightly to let him work.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Really?" McCoy asked, the anger at being left in the dark by Pike resurfacing. "You had an extreme allergic reaction to a common painkiller, Jim. People are more likely to die from being hit by a bolt of lightning than developing anaphylaxis due to medication!"

But like Captain Pike, Jim ignored his little rant. "So when can I get out of here?"

McCoy shook his head in disbelief. "What part of allergic reaction and anaphylactic shock didn't you get?"

"The part where he's supposed to care would be my best guess," Alice offered.

"Beautiful and smart," Jim smirked.

 _Unbelievable_ , McCoy rolled his eyes, backing away from Jim. Everything checked out. He might still be a pain in the ass, but medically he was fine.

"Listen, I know this was kind of a lousy first date, me having an allergic reaction and all that," Jim continued, "but is there any chance you'd be willing to go on a second date with me? Preferably one where we _both_ stay up all night."

McCoy wouldn't lie and say he wasn't pleased to see Alice roll her eyes at him. "In your dreams, Jim."

"They're very good dreams," he continued.

McCoy didn't even try to hide his smirk at the disgusted noise Alice made. Jim was obnoxiously relentless, but thankfully Alice was faithfully determined when it came to turning down his advances.

"Classes start in two hours," Alice said, not even bothering to respond to Jim. "I can get you two out them for the day, but if it's all the same to you, I'm going to attend mine."

"You can get us out classes?" Jim asked in disbelief.

"Captain Pike can," she corrected, pulling out her comm. unit. "I'll see you boys at dinner," Alice smiled in a dismissive goodbye before disappearing through the door, her voice growing distant as she was connected to Pike.

Jim turned to McCoy, an incredulous look on his face. "Am I invisible?"

"What's the matter?" McCoy asked. "Is a pretty boy like yourself not used to getting turned down?"

"I don't understand…" he continued, shaking his head.

"You're unbelievable," McCoy groaned.

"What's unbelievable is that she's immune to my charm." The obnoxious grin on his face finally made it known that he was just screwing around with McCoy, seeing how he would react. "So when can I get out of here, Bones? I'm eager to waste my entire day of no classes."

"Everything checks out," McCoy answered coldly. "You're free to go."

Jim all but jumped out of the hospital bed, tearing the blankets off of himself as if he were a kid who had just woken up on Christmas morning. He grabbed the jacket of his uniform off of the chair it had been resting on and donned it recklessly before heading towards the door.

But McCoy caught Jim's arm, a vice-like grip stopping him in his tracks. Jim tensed up at the contact but didn't tear away.

"You want to explain what happened?" McCoy growled quietly.

"No."

"Fine," he replied bitterly. He didn't like it, but he understood Jim's personal life was his own and he couldn't force it out of him. "Next time you come to me with an injury, if I even _think_ you are lying to me, I will run every test I can think of to figure out what kind of lab you were cooked up in," he threatened passively. "Don't lie to me and warn me of your allergies." His hazel eyes were boring into the side of Jim's head since he refused to look at him. "When I am your doctor, I am not your friend. And I _am_ your doctor now. The last thing I need is some _cadet_ killing you because they have no idea what they're doing." McCoy then forced Jim to step back so that he had no choice but to look at him. "Am I speaking too quickly for you or do you understand?"

Jim continued to refuse to look at him for a few seconds longer, stern expression held on his face before he smiled it off. "Aww…Bones, you do care," he teased, crystal blue eyes hiding everything he was feeling at that moment.

"You're insufferable," McCoy said, rolling his eyes.

"Maybe," Jim chuckled, "but at least I'm agreeing to your ridiculous terms."

McCoy raised an eyebrow in amusement, releasing his grip on Jim's arm, "Well, it's nice to find out you're not a _complete_ idiot. Means I didn't patch you up for no reason."

Jim laughed, brushing off the serious undertones of the conversation. "See you around," he said with a grin, heading for the door once more.

"Jim!" McCoy called out, turning around to face him. "If you ever need to—to drink or talk about it, I'm qualified for both."

"I know, Bones," Jim said, "M.D. and Ph.D. all before you turned 18. Georgia's rising star, right?"

McCoy crossed his arms, chuckling bitterly. "Not anymore."

"Well," he shrugged, "I guess we all have some things in our pasts that aren't so good, huh?"

With a wave of his hand, Jim disappeared through the door, leaving McCoy alone in the hospital room. For some reason, Jim's statement brought Alice to mind before his own miserable life. _Yeah, I guess so_ , he thought before taking his leave of the hospital as well.

~~.O.~~

Hooray! Finished with another one.

I'd like to thank you all for the love I've been receiving on this fic. :) Getting email notifications about the reviews are always the best part of my day.

That being said, I am always open to comments, critiques, and notes of your unconditional love for me and/or my story ;)

Thanks for reading!


	7. Defend

The library had become one of Alice's sanctuaries on Campus. It was the only place where it was enforced that people make as little noise as possible, there was plenty of space for her to be nowhere near anyone else, and there were only two people who would interrupt her while she was there. It was a controlled area with controlled interaction. Perfectly safe from unwanted intrusion.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite tactical officer in training," Jim greeted in an overly cheerful manner as he and Leonard approached. "You know, you never did tell me why you picked tactical officer of all things."

 _Well, almost perfectly safe from intrusion_. Alice didn't mind. Three and a half weeks of Jim's antics had gotten her pretty used to his questions, prodding, and obnoxious advances. She looked up from her PADD, tapping the stylus in her hand against her bottom lip playfully.

"And you choosing to go the captaincy route had nothing to do with your father, right?" Alice knew she was dancing on very thin ice with that joke, but she was willing to take the risk.

"Touché," Jim laughed, landing noisily into his chair, dropping his PADD onto the table.

Leonard sat down at the table much more gracefully, giving Alice a small smile in greeting. He didn't do it often, but Leonard had a smile that was more award-winning than the one Jim handed out freely. Alice thought it was a pity that he didn't smile more often. Of course, his trademark scowl, eye roll, and cocked eyebrow had their own charm to them as well.

"Studying for the ethics exam?" Leonard asked as a somewhat awkward opener.

"I could pass that in my sleep," she replied with a smirk. "Intergalactic Weapons and Defense Operating Systems."

"That sounds like twenty different kinds of awful," Jim chimed in.

"That's why you're going command and I'm going tactical," Alice said with a soft smile.

"Are you sure you want to become a red-shirt though?" Leonard said.

"You don't think I look good in red?" she asked with a sly wink.

"I'm not saying anything like that," he quickly answered. "Just concerned. Even I know the reputation of red-shirts."

Alice rolled her eyes. "The reason why red-shirts die more of than others are because half of the corps are security personnel. They respond to threats, sometimes violent threats."

"Just looking out for you, sweetheart," McCoy smirked.

"How very uncharacteristically sweet of you," Alice teased. It was Leonard's turn to roll his eyes at her, and she chuckled softly.

"Could you two tone it down on the flirting," Jim asked, mockingly annoyed. "Some of us are trying to study here."

"Oh, really?" Alice asked skeptically, before quickly snatching his PADD from its place on the table before him. On the screen was a beautiful Orion girl with stunning red hair, accented by her flawless green skin. "Is this your new lady friend?"

"'Lady friend?' What are you, Bone's age?"

"Ass," Leonard sneered.

"That wasn't a no."

"And what do _you_ have here?" Jim asked, snatching something from her bag Alice had carelessly left on the table, deflecting her question with a question of his own.

She recognized what it was instantly and cursed herself for having not taken it out a week ago.

"It's nothing," Alice answered quickly, reaching across the table to retrieve what he had swiped from her; but he pulled it back just before her fingers could wrap around it.

"An invitation to a gala hosted by the Academy faculty and board?" he asked rhetorically as he read. "Oh, plus ones are welcome. Alice, I would love to be your plus one."

Alice finally managed to snatch the invitation back. "Stop it," she sighed, annoyed. "I'm not even going to the damn thing."

"Not a fan of formal events?" Jim asked.

"I have nothing to wear," she lied, shrugging off his question.

"I'm sure little Miss Daddy's Money can come up with a dress if she had to."

Three and a half weeks had gotten her used to Jim's carelessly framed questions and statements involving her personal life, but there were still times when things he said would hit a nerve. She clenched her jaw, a standard move used to keep one from saying something; for her, however, it kept her from walking out on them.

She didn't let on, but she heard Leonard kick Jim from under the table.

"You won't be missing out on anything," Leonard said nonchalantly. "The only good thing about 'em is the expensive alcohol they offer. And even then, you still have to pay for it."

"And you know about this how?" Jim asked sarcastically. "Oh, right, you used to be a privileged elite."

It was bitter, but Leonard didn't respond in kind, letting Jim deflect his obnoxious comments to himself and off of Alice. "'Til the ex-wife took everything, yup."

"And now you're back to studying late the night before an exam," Jim laughed. "How the mighty have fallen." But Jim wasn't going to let it go so easily. "How did you get this invitation anyway? It says it's only for faculty, alumni, and sponsors of the Academy."

"Well, my father fits into one of the three categories you just listed and he's insisting I go." Alice's patience for Jim's questions had run out, and she could hear her irritation making the words quick and cold against her will. It was hard to remain stoic when Jim knew how to be so damn annoying.

"Could I look over your ethics notes?" Leonard asked, out of the blue, being painfully transparent in changing the conversation topic.

"Sure." Alice was thankful for the drastic change. "I'll send them to you."

"I appreciate it, sweetheart," he said with a smirk.

Jim finally took the jarring hint to the face and let the matter go, following the new flow of the conversation. "Do either of you have any idea how the exam is going to be formatted?"

"Yeah," Alice answered, quickly swiping and tapping on her PADD as she looked for something. "It was in the syllabus…" her voice trailed off as she remembered it clearly, though the document had yet to appear on her screen. "All the exams are essays on one of the topics we have covered so far. Some will be arguing for or against, supporting or refuting, or something along those lines."

"Any ideas what it could be?"

Alice shook her head. "Uhura said it was on morality and gray areas within Starfleet law last year. But someone had told her it was on a completely different topic the year before."

"We have no idea beforehand then."

"Basically."

"Yeah, well, if you spent more time looking over your notes and less time gaping over what's-her-face, you'd be fine," Leonard chastised.

"At least I'm studying."

"Studying, my ass," Leonard sneered.

"Actually, I'm studying _her_ ass."

"Unbelievable," McCoy groaned, but Alice couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"Nice one," Alice laughed.

"It is, isn't it," Jim sighed foolhardily, staring at the screen of his PADD before he also burst into laughter.

McCoy sighed loudly in frustration. "I'm surrounded by children," but it only served to send both Alice and Jim further into their fits of laughter.

* * *

Even though technological advances had given them the ability to travel faster than the speed of light in space, the Academy still used standardized, hard copy testing paper for all exams since. After all, it wouldn't be hard to cheat using all the fancy technological advances that cadets had at their disposal.

Alice tapped the eraser portion of her pencil lightly against the packet that sat closed in front her, no longer paying attention as their instructor, a shrewd woman with a mousy face and a nasally voice that made you want to cringe, droned on about the Academy's stance on cheating.

Beside her, Jim was fidgeting slightly, clearly just as impatient as she was to get it over with. Alice wanted to look back and see how McCoy was handling the nervousness that you usually get moments before an exam no matter how satisfied you were the day before with how much you had prepared yourself for it. But she might be cheating if she looked behind her, and it wasn't exactly a subtle movement. Jim would probably harass her for it anyway.

"You may begin."

 _Finally_ , Alice thought, inwardly sighing as she quickly flipped the packet open.

The first page was empty space, the second was a list of dos and don'ts when it came to writing down you essay response in the packet, which was then followed by the exact same policy on cheating that the instructor had just read through plastered onto the third page.

On the fourth page, Alice had finally found the prompt.

Alice's chest ached as her heart began to leap erratically within her, and her stomach churned making her feel nauseous as she read and then re-read the prompt over and over. Shock locked her up and froze her to the spot as she struggled to push through the panic that now surged through every fiber of her being.

 _No. No. No, no, no_ , she all but screamed in her head in disbelief, oblivious to the time that passed around her.

The words on the page seemed to grow larger and swallow her as the feeling of her clothes against her skin became painful, as if thousands of needles were being jabbed mercilessly into her skin.

Alice willed herself to move, to pick up the damn pencil and carry on, to not let it define her.

But the words on the page held her frozen, suspended in time.

" _Defend the actions of the scientists during the Eugenic Wars. You may use scientific discoveries, medical advancements, or situational factors before, during, or after the Wars._ "

Those lectures had all but been torturous for Alice, but she had managed to sit through them, managed to stomach them, as the instructor had prattled on uncaring and matter-of-factly as if humanity had committed an atrocity nearly as grave as slavery centuries ago. At first, Alice had thought it had been the instructor's indifferent tone that had affected her so greatly. Now she knew it was the content of the material.

" _Defend the actions of the scientists during the Eugenic Wars. You may use scientific discoveries, medical advancements, or situational factors before, during, or after the Wars._ "

She couldn't do it.

The packet was open, the pencil was in her hand, her hand was positioned on the packet so that she could begin to write, but no matter how many times she screamed and begged herself to move, to write down something, _anything_ …

She couldn't do it.

"Alright everyone, time's up. Pencils down. Please turn in your packets on my desk."

It was like the restraints were being removed and she was being released. But the ice in her veins never dissipated.

Alice could move again, and she quickly slammed the packet shut before anyone could see that she had written nothing. The horror of it mixed with her embarrassment in a terrible concoction of guilt as she hurriedly grabbed her things together and walked to the front of the class to turn in her packet.

Her friends were all but forgotten as she rushed out of the classroom, losing herself in the crowd of cadets who were equally as eager as she was to leave but for completely different reasons. Alice did her best to avoid them, but there were just too many people packed into the small hallway that leads out of the classroom. Every time someone bumped into her or scraped against her, it felt as if she were being attacked. Her anxiety skyrocketed, and the pit in her stomach grew larger and heavier as she continued onward.

Alice felt as if she was either going to be sick or start crying in frustration and anger at herself for being so weak. But she couldn't do that here. Nothing would be even more mortifying than crying in front of all these cadets who understood _nothing_ , who knew _nothing_.

" _Defend the actions of the scientists during the Eugenic Wars_ …"

There was no way Alice could have done it. Even if her body had let her, her entire soul had screamed against it. The scientists during the Eugenics Wars were no better than the German scientists, whose footsteps they had all but followed, from the second World War; and she and half of the other cadets had to defend those monsters while the other half had the easy task of proving why they were the monsters history remembers them as. The history that instructor had clearly forsaken when creating the exam.

It was unfair and sickening. And she couldn't do it.

She hadn't done it.

The dread that she felt at her complete and utter failure on the exam was nothing compared to—

"Alice!"

 _No. Keep going_.

"Alice!"

 _You have to keep going. You've come so far_ —

"Alice!"

Alice finally stopped. She couldn't do it. She didn't have enough strength for herself.

It was had been the concern in the voice that had stopped her, the kind hazel eyes that calmed her, and the steady, gentle hand that reached out to her but didn't touch her that guided her carefully away from the horrors.

~~.O.~~

Another update so quickly!? It's a miracle! :)

So I know this one is a little shorter than what I usually do, but that's because I have big plans for the next chapter. Let's just say the requests have not gone unheard. ;)

Anyway, thank you all so much for the love and reviews. You are a wonderful audience and I am happy to write for you guys.


	8. Froze

"Bones! Bones!" Jim hollered, shoving his way past the other cadets. _God, when did he become Jim and not just Kirk_?" But calling his name wasn't good enough for Jim. A vice-like grip grabbed ahold of McCoy by his shoulder, forcing him to turn around.

"What is it?" McCoy snarled.

"She didn't write anything."

McCoy's face dropped as he realized what Jim was saying.

"What?"

"Alice," Jim explained, "she didn't write anything on her exam. She just sat there, like she froze up."

There was no way. She had been the most prepared out of the three of them for this exam. She couldn't have just written nothing. But the way that Jim described it, the freezing… McCoy quickly scanned the crowded classroom, hoping to see her. There was no mistaking Alice's slender frame and ebony hair. She was amongst a crowd of cadets close to the door.

McCoy knew that he couldn't lose her. "Call Captain Pike and tell him what happened."

"Bones!" Jim called after him once more, and McCoy had no choice but to take his eyes off of her. "What _did_ happen?"

"I don't know. Just tell him about the exam and what you saw."

And then he began to push his way through the ocean of people that were swarming for the exit, trying to reach her before she disappeared completely. Some of the cadets yelled at him, but they all quickly left him alone when they saw the glare he gave them if they didn't move out of the way fast enough.

McCoy had made it to the hallway, and he could just barely make her out of the crowd.

"Alice!" he called out to her.

But if she heard him, she ignored it.

McCoy began to move faster as he all but chased after her.

"Alice!" he tried again, hoping that she would hear him now that he was closer.

But she kept walking at the same calculated pace she had when she first lunged out of her seat and turned in her empty exam. Whatever triggered this episode was locked firmly in her mind and she couldn't hear anything else other than whatever was swarming in her head.

"Alice!" Leonard was all but begging her to stop, pleading with her to hear him.

And this time, Alice stopped.

Leonard knew relief at the situation for only a moment as he closed the distance between them. Before he placed himself directly in her path so that she could see him. And he could see her.

Alice's eyes, her beautifully chaotic eyes that were either closed off to strangers, warm with light and happiness when she was around Jim and himself, or intimidating when someone crossed a line with her, were now broken as she looked up at him. They weren't devoid of emotion, they were reflecting the worst emotions a person could feel, the ones that now plagued her now.

With steady, quiet movements, Leonard reached out to her, his hand hovering just behind her shoulder. But he did not touch her, something she was noticeably, albeit silently, thankful for, as Alice let him guide her away from the hallway and into a nearby classroom, one that wasn't being used for classes this semester.

Leonard was very careful from that point on. He made sure that she was facing away from the door so that she couldn't see the cadets in the hallway in case the thought of how many people were out there would overwhelm her. There was adequate distance between himself and Alice; and he stood arms crossed, slouched with his head bent forward slightly, making himself look as non-threatening as he could, trying to make it clear that he was there for her.

After a few moments of silence, letting Alice collect or maybe quiet her thoughts, Leonard decided to see just how much Alice might have dissociated to determine how bad it truly was.

"Alice?" he tried gently. "Alice, what happened?"

There was a blank expression on her face as she hesitated in answering. Leonard remained silent as he waited for her to make her first move if she was even capable of making the first move.

"I don't know," she said quaveringly, the soft and lost edge in her voice making her seem frail.

 _At least she's talking_ , he thought, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding as he relaxed slightly.

"Alright," Leonard continued, keeping his voice level and soft. "Can you walk me through what happened before?"

A whirlwind of emotions flickered in her eyes before Alice nodded faintly. "I was waiting to begin the exam, but Price just kept droning on. And I thought about looking up at you, but that might be cheating." She frowned slightly. "Jim was fidgeting beside me. I was tapping my pencil on the table…" As she talked, Alice started using her hands to narrate, walking him through the events. "When Price finally let us begin the exam, I remember turning the pages, skimming over the same things that she had just told us about moments before." She swallowed hard, trying to hold back tears. "And then I read the prompt—" Alice's voice cracked and she stopped herself, fighting to retain her composure. Leonardd waited patiently, though. He had all the time in the world to give to her. "And then Price was saying that time was up, to turn in the exams."

Leonard nodded, remaining sympathetic and understanding. He noted how she was very specific, adding little details, at the very beginning. But as soon as she mentioned the prompt, there were no more details and she was missing a complete hour of time from when the exam began to when it ended.

"What happened after you read the prompt?"

Movement flickered from the window in the door and Leonard saw Jim peer in before he stood in front of it, blocking it off from anyone who might try to enter.

"I don't know," Alice shook her head. "I couldn't—I couldn't move."

"Do you know why you couldn't move?" Leonard pressed gently.

"Yes."

Leonard could have asked her what froze her up, but he knew that it would cause her to close up again. And it was very likely that she wouldn't answer the question anyway.

"Do you know what triggered it?"

A moment of hesitation. "Yes."

"Can you tell me?"

Those beautiful eyes of hers that had been dodging his gaze since they entered the room finally settled on him. "I can't." The pain that flickered within the depths of her glacier blue, looping through the green and gold, told Leonard that she was telling the truth and that it was tearing her apart.

"It's alright, Alice," Leonard reassured her softly. "What do you need right now? How can I help?"

Alice began to wring her hands together fiercely; Leonard was slightly worried that she might be hurting herself as she did so. "I need to be in control."

 _She's been to therapy_ , he recognized. The fact that she mentioned control specifically told him that. The first thing you do with a victim of abuse that has just been removed from their abusive environment is to give them every opportunity to assert their own control over their life.

Leonard took a careful step forward. "Ok, sweetheart," he smiled at her. "You're in control. You're in complete control of me. Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what you need me to do."

"Alright," she sighed deeply, the rough movement of her hands becoming softer. "Call Captain Pike. Tell him what happened."

"And what did happen, Alice?" At the slightly panicked expression she had, Leonard amended himself. "I just want to know what to tell him."

"Tell him—tell him it happened again and I couldn't complete an exam because of it."

"Ok," Leonard reassured her before pulling out his comm. unit slowly. He was thankful that Pike had given him his frequency after Jim's allergic reaction. He switched his comm. to confidential mode and placed it to his ear.

It didn't take long for Pike to answer. No doubt he had been waiting for something more after Jim's call. A call that Leonard wouldn't let Alice in on since it was something that she didn't control and it might backtrack on the progress he was making.

"McCoy. I need an update on Alice," he demanded. "Kirk gave me very little, and I expect you to give me more answers than questions."

"I'm calling on behalf of Alice, sir," Leonard said, not answering Pike's question so as to only do what Alice needed him to.

Pike wasn't surprised by this, though. "Go ahead."

"She wanted me to tell you that _it_ happened again and that she couldn't complete an exam because of it."

"Let her know that I'll take care of it," Pike replied sincerely. "Oh, and McCoy. I don't know how bad it is, but if you can, take her to a roof or balcony. Open spaces with fresh air sometimes help her."

"Yes, sir," Leonard said curtly before he ended the call. Alice's eyes had never left him as she waited patiently and expectantly. "He said that he would take care of it."

"Ok," she breathed, relaxing a little.

"What else do you need me to do?"

"I don't know," Alice said, shaking her head. Her eyes began to flicker about the room nervously.

"Would you like to go outside?" Leonard suggested cautiously.

"Yes," she said firmly. "Take me to the roof?"

Leonard looked towards the door that was just behind her. He could still make out Jim's bulked figure guarding the door. "Is it alright if Kirk comes with us?"

"Yes."

He nodded, before leading her out of the classroom. As he opened the door, Jim wheeled around, a million questions written on his face; and all of them were silenced when Leonard gave him a stern look while shaking head no. _Roof_ Loenard mouthed, pointing towards the end of the hallway where the elevator was located. Jim took the hint and took the lead, while Leonard slowed down his pace so that he was walking nearly side by side with Alice as they made their way to the elevator in complete silence.

The wind whipped around them violently on the roof with nothing to obstruct its path. San Francisco spread out before them, an industrial forest with thousands of moving parts all connected in their rush, but individual in their purposes and destinations.

It was impossible to miss the significant difference in Alice's behavior. The tense and timid movements that constricted her were melted away as she straightened her posture, her body relaxing with every breath. Her shoulders dropped, her head was held up higher.

"Stay here," Alice said clearly, no hesitation, no nervousness, as she walked forward, heading towards the edge of the roof.

Jim made a move to follow her, but Leonard quickly grabbed his arm to stop him. "Not right now," he warned him quietly.

"We shouldn't leave her alone," Jim argued, his voice matching Leonard's hushed tone.

"That's exactly what we're going to do." Jim gave him a look that told him he wasn't buying it. "Jim, she's uncomfortable in crowds, jumps easily at loud noises, and doesn't let people touch her. Solve two plus two and arrive at four without having me show you the arithmetic."

Jim looked taken aback for a moment, a mixture of horror and disbelief on his face before he got it under control. He gazed over at Alice, frowning slightly as it all fell into place for him. "Alright," he said, turning back to Leonard . "You got her off of the edge. Let me try to get her off of the roof."

"And how are you going to do that?" Leonard asked skeptically.

"Just…trust me Bones. And follow close behind, in case I make things worse."

Jim approached her slowly, walking loud enough for his footsteps to be heard. Alice was leaning forward against the railing along the edge of the roof, gazing at the San Francisco skyline as Jim sidled up to her, mirroring her posture, though he maintained a small amount of space in between them. Leonard had followed but remained behind them just within hearing distance.

"How long were you abused?" Jim didn't even hesitate, but his voice was calm, steady, uninterested even.

Alice looked over at him, then fixed her gaze back on the landscape. "Until I was twelve." A beat. "What about you?"

"It started when I was twelve, ended when I was fourteen. When I drove my uncle's old mustang over a cliff." Jim chuckled softly, but Alice frowned at him. "I jumped out before it took the plunge. No hope of salvaging it, though," he sounded rather proud of that. "Cops gave me an option. Juvie or community service on an off-planet colony." Jim shook his head. "Took the community service, and I never saw him again."

Alice nodded, a sad smile tugging at her lips. "The wounded recognize the wounded."

Jim scoffed, "Yeah." He looked over at her. "Your abuser… are they still in your life?"

"No," she sighed

"Who was it?"

Alice tossed her head back, straightening her posture, gripping the railing tightly. "It's classified," she said bitterly.

Jim moved a little closer to her, leaving only a small space in between their arms. To Leonard's surprise, Alice didn't move away from him. "Yeah… I know a bit about _classified_."

The wind chased away the conversation as they stood there on the roof, allowing silence to take back over. Leonard came to stand on the other side of Alice, moving slowly as he did so. All three of them stared out over the city, the breeze teasing their hair into a slight mess, pulling at their uniforms, stripping away everything. As they stood on that roof, Leonard could feel his own burdens and grief, the worries of his life being pulled away by the wind. He began to understand the profound effect it had, had on Alice's behavior and why Pike had suggested it.

"Do you need anything, sweetheart?" Leonard finally asked.

"I need a drink," she chuckled dryly.

"I'll buy," he offered, with a small smile.

"After formation of course," Jim chimed in.

"We could always skip," Leonard suggested.

"And go AWOL?" Alice asked with a raise of her eyebrows. "No. No, I need to run this off, and _then_ drink it off."

"Alright," Kirk said, pushing himself off of the railing. "Let's get off this roof then."

"You don't have to tell me twice. I've been having these awful premonitions where one of you accidently knock me over the edge and send me hurtling towards my death." Leonard grimaced as he spoke, his panic-stricken voice similar to the one they had heard when he first got on that shuttle.

"That's the spirit, Bones," Jim scoffed. "I was starting to worry something was wrong with you. You've gone at least thirty minutes without listing some unlikely cause of death from an otherwise safe situation."

Leonard merely rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling slightly when he heard Alice's infectious laughter being whisked away by the wind.

* * *

"…Carter froze up as soon as the patient's b.p. started to drop a little, so the attending had to step in and keep him from killing the guy during his appendectomy," Leonard chuckled, sipping lazily from his beer. "Called him 007 from then on out."

"How do you almost kill someone during an appendectomy?" Alice asked in amused disbelief, a small smirk playing on her lips and mirth dancing in the glacier blue of her eyes.

"Do you even know what an appendectomy is?" Leonard teased her, raising an eyebrow to challenge her.

Alice frowned playfully as if she found the idea offensive, and Leonard nearly laughed at how adorable she looked in that moment. Taking a swig from his drink had been the only thing that prevented him from doing so.

"The name comes from _-ectomy_ which means _excision of_ and _append-_ which means _referring to the appendix_." She smiled in pride as Leonard nodded, impressed by her answer. "You're not the only one here smart enough to be a doctor."

"I never said anything of the like, sweetheart," he said, smiling at her, something that was becoming increasingly easier for him to do.

Leonard and Alice were once again seated at the bar next to one another. Jim was absent, as per usual, having chased after yet another skirt, although, he did set a new record for the amount of time he spent with them before strutting off. He had managed to make it something close to thirty minutes before his immaturity pulled him towards some girl. Alice didn't seem to mind, however, and Leonard certainly didn't care. It wasn't their job to cure Jim of his adolescent-like behavior.

"You still haven't answered my question," Alice continued, looking up at him from the neck of her bottle, the green of her chaotic eyes giving off a mischievous gleam.

"Interns are morons with a scalpel," he shrugged.

"Weren't you an intern once?" she teased.

"But I wasn't a moron," Leonard countered playfully.

"I never said anything of the like, Leon." The smile she flashed him before taking another sip of her beer, Leonard could have sworn it was seductive, and the wink she added only made it increasingly suggestive; and in truth, he was caught slightly off guard by it.

"007 did find a way to redeem himself, though," he managed to force out awkwardly. "Performed cardiovascular surgery in a hospital elevator."

Alice didn't seem to mind is slight blundering, however, and raised an eyebrow at him. "Now I know you're making this up."

"Nope," he said with a soft grin, amused by her slight bemusement. "Power outage and a bad backup generator caused him and another intern to get stuck in an elevator with a g.s.w. victim that still had the bullet in his chest. The head of cardio had to walk him through the surgery from outside the elevator, but he didn't nearly kill this patient."

"Sounds like you had a very… _interesting_ internship and residency."

"It was a goddamn madhouse," Leonard chuckled fondly. "Both the patients and the doctors were behaving like animals."

"And were you the zookeeper, or ringmaster, or whatever?" Alice asked, her train of thought slipping as easily as the alcohol was past her tongue. "I got a little lost in your metaphors."

"No," he smiled. "The chief of surgery was, and let me tell ya', there was a reason he was bald."

Alice shook her head lightly as she burst into a playful fit of laughter, and Leonard couldn't help but join her. She was having an increasingly strong effect on him, and God help him, but he didn't care in the least bit.

Her laughter slowly faded as Alice's eyes returned to his own. "Thank you, Leon."

Leonard looked at her curiously. "For what?"

"For this," she said, using her beer bottle to motion around the room. "For before." She shrugged, her smile becoming quieter, more serious. "Just…thank you."

Leonard's own smile became more honest. "You don't need to thank me, Alice. I'm here for you whenever you need something to control, or _anything_ else." The look on her face, the relief, gratitude, and happiness that relaxed her features and made her glow, in that instant, Leonard thought that it made joining Starfleet worthwhile. But that was a thought for him alone. "Besides. I should be thanking you for picking the cheap stuff and not drinking me out of house and home."

Alice smirked, "Yeah, well, I think you do a good enough job on our own without my help. And last I heard you were already out of house and home, _Bones_."

"Ouch!" Leonard winced playfully before chuckling into his bottle. "So tell me, if you're smart enough to become a doctor, why didn't you?"

"I hate hospitals and doctors," she answered quickly. Then she realized what she had said. " _Most_ doctors."

"Oh, well, thank you for correcting yourself," Leonard said sarcastically. "For a second there you were going to hurt my feelings."

"You have feelings?" Alice asked in complete incredulity.

"Yes I do have feelings, I'll have you know," Leonard said in slightly tipsy defense. "They're very manly feelings. Full of strength, courage, and—"

"Alcoholism?"

"Yes—no!" he growled playfully. "Heroism," he corrected her, giving a nod as if to affirm that what he said was the truth.

"Well then, I'm sorry that I almost hurt your very special, manly feelings," Alice apologized, barely containing her laughter.

"You should be," Leonard smiled, taking another drink. "They're very sensitive."

Alice's face dropped in absolute seriousness. "Wait, are we talking about your feelings or your ego?"

A second of slight hesitation was only as long as she could hold out before Alice finally erupted into laughter. Leonard found himself once again joining her, admitting to himself that her remark was very clever even if it was at his own expense.

As they calmed themselves down, sides aching slightly as they had to catch their breath from their laughter, Leonard decided to backtrack on their conversation topics.

"What's the reason behind you not liking doctors?" he asked with a probing look

"They're very nosey, for one thing," Alice said, narrowing her eyes teasingly at him.

"Hey, it's our job to be nosey," Leonard said in sarcastic defense.

"And they're mean," she continued, her near childish behavior slightly endearing to him.

"Just because I'm mean doesn't prove we all are."

"And they're always sticking you with needles and hypo's."

"Again, that's our job."

"Well, it wouldn't kill you guys to be a little more forgiving with the hypo's," Alice said, her voice carrying a playful finality to it as she crossed her arms matter-of-factly.

Leonard shook his head before chuckling softly at her. He couldn't figure out why, but for some reason, he was finding tonight to be the most enjoyable night he had, had in nearly seven months. "You're right. On behalf of doctor's everywhere, I apologize for how trigger happy we are with hypo's, and I promise to be more conservative with them."

"Well, that's very kind of you," Alice said, her voice carrying a playful edge that let him know she didn't believe him for a second.

"See, we're not all mean," he grinned softly.

Alice merely rolled her eyes at him. "Yeah, and Jim's not always obnoxious in some way."

"You have me there," Leonard admitted, waving Joe down. "Can we get two more?"

"What made you want to be a doctor?" Alice asked as they waited for their drinks, her voice erring on the side of caution as she finally returned Leonard's questions with some of her own. "It certainly couldn't have been because you like people so much."

"Did we start playing 20 questions without me realizing?" Leonard asking mockingly.

"Well, we could keep arguing about whether or not I should hate doctors," Alice offered sarcastically. "Plus I answered, your question. Time to pay up."

"Fine," Leonard scoffed. "Fourth generation doctor," he finally admitted. "I haven't known anything else."

"You could say it's in your… _Bones_ ," the obnoxious smirk on her face feigning innocence that was as horribly crafted as her pun.

"That was horrible," Leonard grimaced playfully. "And I'm pretty sure it's _genes_."

"Eh, same thing," she shrugged lazily.

"They're not even close to being the same thing."

Apparently, the near drunken outrage that tinged his mirth filled voice was hilarious to her because Leonard found Alice's laughter surrounding him once more. She was barely able to thank Joe as she accepted the bottle he offered.

As she got her laughter back under control, Alice fixed her attention back on him. Her brilliant eyes were disarming, but there was something else behind them, a sort of hesitation or reserved look to them.

"Alright," Leonard said. "Spit it out."

"Spit what out?"

"I can see the question in your eyes," he said with a smile. "You've been putting up with mine, so go ahead, ask."

Alice seemed to search his eyes for some sign that he was just joking around with her, but when she couldn't find what she was looking for, she relented. "Alright," she said, pulling something from her purse. "This is probably a very dumb, drunken question, but would you go to this stupid event with me?" she slid the invitation across the table's smooth surface towards him. "If I have to go, I'd rather not go alone."

Leonard studied her for a moment, she was clearly uncomfortable with asking him about something that was seemingly trivial. _Maybe it's not trivial to her_ , he realized, his mind reflecting back to what had happened earlier that day. Leonard then studied the invitation. It was printed on the exact same cardstock he had gotten often back in Georgia, a bitter sense of nostalgia creeping up.

He flicked the invitation back towards her playfully, "I wouldn't mind," he said, with an amused grin. "What color dress are you going to where?"

Alice gave him a puzzled frown. "Why does that matter?"

"Traditionally, people who go to a formal event together wear either the same or similar colors. Usually, the gentleman will wear a tie or shirt that matches their partner's dress." Leonard explained with patient amusement.

"That's actually a thing?" she asked, her frown telling him that she thought he was full of shit.

"Haven't you been to these events before?"

"I go to them as little as I can get away with, and if I do have to go, I drink my way through them," Alice admitted, but there was a sly smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "And I've never been accompanied by a _southern gentleman_." The playfully mocking accent she tinged her words with was intoxicating. Leonard could only hope that his own accent, the one he could tell only became more predominant the more he drank, had the same effect on her.

"Well, as a southern gentleman, my job is to make sure you enjoy yourself at the gala no matter what," he said with a smile.

"And if I said the only way to enjoy myself was to get drunk on expensive alcohol and make a scene?" she teased.

"Then I'll be there to hold your glass or your hair as you make your scene."

Alice's subtle smile turned into a small grin as she laughed. "Don't worry, Leon. I wouldn't intentionally put you in a situation like that. I'm not out to embarrass you."

"Shouldn't you be worried that I might embarrass you?" he asked curiously, fully aware that he was nowhere near as prestigious as he had once been. He was a shell of the man who used to go to formal events with a beautiful woman on his arm.

"Let's just say that's one of the reasons I'm asking you and not Jim."

Leonard laughed slightly in complete understanding before he realized what Alice had left unsaid. _One of how many_? he wondered. "And what are the other reasons?" he asked, his voice low as he tried to tempt her into answering.

Alice smiled mischievously. "Actually, I think that puts us at 21 for questions…"

"It does not," Leonard said in playful outcry.

Her smile became much more gentle, allowing the weariness from her long day to show through enough for him to recognize. "It does for tonight," she said softly, definitely.

And Leonard was smart enough to know when to drop something and when to call it a night. "You going to be alright getting back to your apartment?"

"I've managed to make it home in far worse condition," she answered lightly. "Thanks for the drinks, Leon. I'll see you tomorrow." Her goodbye was punctuated by a radiant and intoxicating smile.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." Leonard allowed himself to follow her with his eyes as she left the bar, only finally turning his attention back to his drinking when she was no longer in view from the windows.

While he would like nothing more than to test the limits of just how functional of an alcoholic he was, conversations with Alice always sobered him up. Well, that wasn't completely true. He could definitely feel the numbness and slight euphoria alcohol gives you in the beginning, but Leonard never found himself wanting to push himself past that point into absolute unfeeling and uncaring stage copious amounts of alcohol could bring you to when he was in Alice's presence. Whenever he found himself with her, he wanted to be lucid enough to remember the entire encounter and just buzzed enough to not care if he told her anything personal.

It was strange that he found being around her more calming and relaxing after a day of dealing with children parading around as cadets and Starfleet's bullshit when he would normally want nothing more than to drink himself into submission and deal the grieving stage of acceptance of his fate. It was strange, but not unwelcome.

After nearly seven months of burying himself in bottles, Leonard knew he had a problem with alcohol. Tonight, however, he could have gone the entire day and night without drinking, hell he didn't even crave it as any normal alcoholic would. In fact, the only reason he had drunk anything at all was so that Alice didn't feel self-conscious about it. Perhaps it was because of the circumstances of today, but Leonard realized that wasn't entirely true.

He had agreed to go to the gala, remained mostly sober, and had helped Alice when she needed it all for one reason: _for her_.

It was interesting how Alice was becoming more addictive than the alcohol. But it wasn't unwelcome.

Alice's strength in spirit was something to admire. The PTSD induced episode she had suffered through earlier was seemingly forgotten as she laughed and conversed in her normal, quiet, and lighthearted way. It had made it easier for Leonard to put it out of his mind for a while, but now that she was absent and he was drinking alone, it resurfaced in attentive detail.

Leonard didn't feel pity or look down on her in any way. If anything, he admired her for being strong enough to recover and move on from whatever flashback she had experienced, if that had been what happened.

A soft chime coming from his pocket pulled him from his thoughts, as he quickly reached into his jacket and pulled out his comm. unit. A green light flickered on the side of it as he opened it up, reading the message he had just received.

Only one word was printed on the screen underneath Alice's contact image. "Blue."

Leonard scoffed in slight amusement, jamming the unit back into his pocket and finishing the last of his beer.

No. He didn't pity her. He didn't think less of her or believe her to be weak because of what happened. The only thing he felt was the strong urge—an urge which only seemed to increase in strength—to look out for her, to protect her; not because she needed him to, but because he didn't want to lose one of the few good things he had in his life right now. Anything good in his life was far too precious and rare for him to let anything happen to it.

~~.O.~~

This chapter fought me nearly every step of the way, but I am victorious! ;)

Please tell me what you think. I love hearing from you guys, it always puts a smile on my face and motivates me to write.

Thanks for reading. More to come soon. :)


	9. Want

_What the hell am I doing_? Alice asked herself in complete disbelief for what had to be the millionth time in the span of a couple of hours. The starting point of which having been the moment she realized she needed to get ready and the rate at which she asked herself this question had only increased as she drew closer to the hotel lobby.

She felt out of place and thought that she looked like a complete idiot compared to all of the fashionable people that slowly trickled into the hotel, making their way to the same ballroom and to the same event that she was being forced to attend. They all looked as if they belonged there and seemed so sure of themselves, reflecting the complete opposite of how Alice was feeling. But she made sure that she walked with the confidence that was irreversibly absent at the moment.

Normally, she was just uneasy at these events and only partially self-conscious. This event was different, however. Not only was it the first one she was going to since returning from Vulcan, but it was also the first one she had brought a date to since the ultimatum with Jason. Simply thinking about Leonard caused her heart to flutter softly…and made her think of herself as even more of an idiot because of it.

Leonard had been so incredibly kind to her, even more so after the incident a week ago. It was sweet, and endearing, and as foolish as she thought she was being, it made Alice feel special. He was always so fierce and hard-edged in his words and actions towards other people, but not to her. She was his exception, and she found it thrilling. His behavior around her was almost… _brotherly_ , though, and that's what disappointed her so greatly.

Leonard made Alice feel something she had never felt before. Normal. It made him special in her mind, but clearly normal was something he was used to…and something he only saw her as.

 _This is stupid._ _I'm being stupid_. Alice chastised herself as she continued forward. The dress she was wearing didn't help to alleviate any of this borderline self-loathing she was feeling either.

It was a deep royal blue that hugged her figure, accentuating her curves, before flowing out in several, subtle layers, ending just past her knees. The neckline was scooped low as it tapered to her shoulders, sleeveless. The most exquisite part of the dress though was the back. Then edges from the straps traced the border between the edge of her back and her ribs before scooping deeply across her lower back. It was completely backless and very suggestive.

And it offered Alice nothing but exposure, giving her nothing to hid behind.

The question _Why didn't I wear a more conservative dress_ was starting to catch up to _What the hell am I doing_ in the amount of times Alice asked herself that question. She held her head high, though, as the click of her heels on the marble floor drew the attention of every single man in the room. Alice made sure to exuberate confidence even if confidence had fled the planet for her. She just had to make it through the night. It would all be over soon.

But the platitudes were just platitudes.

Leonard was standing next to the magnificent fountain located in the center of the lobby. He wore a dark charcoal gray suit and vest, tailored to fit him specifically, with a deep blue shirt underneath. His hair was styled differently than the usual swept off to the side look. It was tussled softly, borderline messy but still very clean and professional. Leonard looked like the perfect gentleman, and Alice realized that she couldn't have found a better person to accompany her tonight.

When he finally spotted her approaching, Leonard smiled at her, something that always made Alice mirror the behavior. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and walked towards her, closing the distance between them.

"For a moment there I thought you weren't going to show," Leonard teased her lightly.

"Aren't you supposed to be fashionably late to these things?" Alice countered playfully.

"So the thought never crossed your mind?"

"Never," she answered, a clear lie made obvious by her smile.

Leonard chuckled softly at her response before offering his arm to her. "Shall we head up?"

Alice hesitated a moment, not because of the contact that would be required, but simply out of her own nervousness. She could usually not care about people's opinions of her and just become irate in response to the stares she received, but Alice now found herself hoping that she looked impressive, or at the very least good, when she would be compared with the man that was about to be escorting her. Leonard might bitterly laugh off the reputation he once had, but everyone else still remembered him for the remarkable doctor, and man, he was. She could only hope that she didn't do anything to tarnish that.

"Let's get this over with," she sighed before plastering on a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Alice's slender fingers laced themselves around his arm, tucking her hand in the crook of his elbow as she allowed Leonard to lead her forward to the elevator. As they walked across the lobby- Leonard with his gentleman's swagger that was pure heroine as Alice made sure to compliment as best she could with her own behavior- she swore that she could already hear the whispers starting. It was then that Alice felt even the fake confidence ebb away from her.

If Leonard heard the whispering around them or felt the staring, he paid no mind to it, walking forward with absolute certainty in himself. Alice found herself feeling a little envious of him for that, but instead of resenting him for it, she instead pulled herself closer to him, as if close proximity might allow her to borrow some of his confidence. The movement might have abolished the distance that was appropriate to maintain between friends and acquaintances, but the feeling of how warm Leonard was against her arm that was now pressed against the side of his torso was too intoxicating for her to care.

And Leonard didn't seem to mind that she was now much closer to him either.

The elevator doors closed behind them, and Alice couldn't believe that she found it to be some sort of victory. Well, _she_ could believe it. She just didn't know if Leonard would understand why she felt that way, though. It was going to be a long night for her, with the potential of getting worse very quickly. She could use an ally

 _Just say something about it_ , she willed herself.

Alice pulled away from Leonard abruptly, a look of slight confusion brought on by the slight raise of an eyebrow, his signature move, as she hit the emergency stop on the elevator. There was only the feeling of understanding in his vibrant hazel eyes, though, as he looked at her with a soft expression.

It was as if he was expecting something like this from her. And Alice could barely stop herself from wringing her hands together.

"There's something you should know," Alice started, about as sure as Leonard must have been when it came to where this conversation was going: no clue whatsoever. "I'm not a fan of being touched. Not at all." That sounded weird and was a complete misrepresentation. She tried to clarify. "And by _not a fan_ I mean I can't stand or handle it on most occasions. And by _not at all_ I mean whenever I'm not expecting it, when it's from someone I don't know, or when I'm not instigating it."

Whatever Alice had been expecting Leonard to say or do, he did neither. He simply waited patiently for her to continue on or to finish. That's when she realized the obvious.

"Which you already knew, _Doctor_ McCoy," she shook her head at how ridiculous she was behaving.

Leonard nodded faintly, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I can't help what I am, sweetheart."

"I know," she sighed. "And neither can I. I'm a mess," she shook her head lightly. "I make things messy."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I am a doctor," Leonard said deeply, his southern lilt sending her heart skipping faintly. He reached out to her, placing a gentle hand on her arm, cupping her elbow tenderly. It was such an intimate touch for her, Alice was almost surprised she didn't shy away. "It's my job to fix messy things."

"I don't need someone to fix me," Alice said in gentle defiance, shifting her weight from one foot to the other so that she was leaning into his hand ever so slightly. "Or to rescue me."

"I know that," he replied patiently. "And you're not a patient to me, either."

"Then what I am I to you, Doctor Leonard McCoy?" she asked in melodic whimsy.

Leonard frowned slightly as if he was looking for either the most accurate or most professional response, running through the various scenarios of what might happen afterward depending on what he said. "You're Alice Khan. You're a genius in your own right, an occasional pain in my ass, though nowhere near as bad as Jim, and a great conversationalist. And I enjoy spending time with you."

The smile of his, quiet yet full of emotion, made it difficult for Alice to fight against smiling herself. "I'm not sure if that was insulting or charming."

"Take it however you will, sweetheart," he teased, dropping his hand from her arm. "And I honestly had no idea about your aversion to touch."

"You're a terrible liar," she scoffed playfully, pressing the emergency stop button again so that the elevator could continue upwards.

Alice returned to her place at his side, the relief of getting all of that off her chest making her much more comfortable beside him. "I swear, if you mention that talking about it _heals_ or some similar nonsense, I will punch you," she threatened teasingly.

"It mostly is nonsense," he agreed. "But if you ever need to—" Leonard chuckled wholeheartedly as Alice jabbed in him in the ribs with her elbow playfully before looping her arm back in his own.

She could feel him looking at her. There were only a few dozen more floors to go before they made it to the top of the skyscraper of a hotel, and while Alice initially intended on keeping her gaze fixed on the elevator doors, she unwillingly relented and looked up at him into the forested hazel of his eyes.

"What?" Alice asked, a very subtle tinge of impatience in her voice.

There was a slight twist of his lips into a smile that was honest and caring. Leonard removed his gaze from her as he spoke. "If you need something to control, just let me know."

The elevator stopped, and instead of nervousness, Alice felt relief. "Thank you, Leon," she breathed as the doors opened.

"Did I mention how beautiful you look tonight?"

The question caught Alice completely off guard as she quickly looked up at him just in time to see a mischievous smirk; but if he was going to elaborate or give her a chance to respond, neither became an option as the adjutant waiting on the other side of the elevator doors quickly ushered them inside with plastered on professionalism and polite etiquette.

Leonard's question was left unanswered but not forgotten as they moved across the floor, indistinct conversation swirling around them and a few nods in greeting from the many patrons that lounged about, socializing with one another. Alice felt the small stirrings of becoming overwhelmed and quickly focused on who she knew, making the crowd smaller as she scanned the room. The graying, almost white hair made it impossible for Alice not to be able to pick out the surly and growly man out of the crowd.

"Come," Alice hummed softly to Leonard as she pulled him forward.

Captain Pike was a very serious man who enjoyed rules and mandates almost as much as Vulcan's did, but when he saw Alice approaching him, his face lit up with a beaming grin.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't show," Pike said fondly.

Alice pulled away from Leonard, releasing his arm, "You are the second person to tell me that," she chuckled, instigating the embrace he clearly wanted but wouldn't prompt otherwise.

As she pulled away, Alice turned back to Leonard as if to formally introduce the two. "Doctor McCoy, I'm sure you remember Captain Pike," then she added, "my father."

Leonard masked his shock to her revelation very well as he extended a hand in greeting, face remaining mostly stoic as he did so minus the slight twitch of his eyebrow. "Of course," he replied, his words standing at attention even though he didn't physically have to.

"It's good to see you under much less… _intense_ circumstances, Doctor," Pike said in gruff politeness.

"Likewise, sir."

Pike gave Leonard a nod before turning his attention to Alice. "I thought you said you weren't bringing anyone," Pike said with a knowing smirk.

"Am I not allowed to change my mind?" Alice responded playfully.

Beside her, Leonard chuckled softly before placing a hand on her elbow carefully. I'm going to get us something to drink," he excused himself, not so subtly leaving father and daughter alone together.

"McCoy?" her father asked incredulously once Leonard was out of earshot.

"I'm not sure what you're referring to," Alice shrugged evasively. "He's a friend whom I happened to invite." When Pike made a face that clearly indicated he didn't believe her, she countered with. "You thought Jason was a catch."

"Biggest mistake of my life was thinking he was a decent man," he growled softly.

"I thought having me for a daughter was your biggest mistake," Alice teased.

"Oh yeah," Pike said, his smile warming his words, "I forgot about that."

Alice laughed gently before commenting on the true intent of his question. "Don't worry about him, father. He was recently divorced and has no interest in another relationship. There's nothing there."

"Is that what you want?" he asked, playing the role of her father expertly, having the interrogation-like voice down perfectly.

"I don't need another Jason," she sighed, before throwing on a half-smile for Leonard as she saw him approaching with their drinks.

And it was true. She didn't need another Jason, and she didn't need to be fixed or rescued. All Alice really needed—really wanted—was something _normal_.

* * *

The champagne in her glass went down far too easily as Alice sipped casually from her fourth glass. She had gone to the bar on her own this time, insisting that Leonard didn't always have to be so chivalrous and get her a new glass every time, and allowed him to continue to socialize with his adoring fans.

It hadn't taken very long for someone to recognize Doctor McCoy and attach his reputation to the name. Soon after it was a myriad of questions about his time at the hospital and doe-eyed looks from every woman that surrounded him. At first, Alice had found the fawning irritating, there were so many beautiful dames begging for Leonard's attention, but now as she stood outside of the fiasco, observing the scene unfold, she had to admit that it was very entertaining.

Leonard was talking about his domino surgery again. Five donors and five recipients for a total ten patients at one time. All hands had been on deck that time, interns included; and there had been some tension, family drama and such, with a couple of the donors threatening to back out.

And this was the third time he was telling this particular story.

By now, Alice could probably tell the story herself, and she could probably tell it much more truthfully than he would. She didn't even bother hiding her smile as she continued to let the bubbly alcohol make her much more relaxed…and giggly.

The forest green and brown of Leonard's hazel eyes found her as he wrapped up the final touches on his narrative. "Excuse me," Leonard said, backing away from the group that had surrounded him. "Excuse me, please," he repeated, polite southern drawl carrying over to where Alice was standing when a few of the tipsier and easier women tugged gently on his suit, begging him to stay.

Alice couldn't contain her laughter as he finally managed to break free. "Are you sure you want to leave your admirers?" she teased him, handing him the second glass she held.

"I have no idea where all those people came from," Leonard groaned, taking a much needed, very long drink, "but they won't leave me alone."

"Not a fan of all the attention?" she continued to play, stepping a bit closer to him. "I swear, some of them looked like they were about to swoon."

"Yeah, well, they're not my type, sweetheart," he smiled honestly.

"And what is your type?" Alice said, her voice faintly provocative and her behavior dangerously close to flirting.

Leonard laughed nervously before shaking his head as she clearly tripped him up, and instead of answering, he simply took a swig of his champagne. It was adorable.

"So what did you do this time?"

"I'm sorry?"

She smiled teasingly. "Well, last time you told the domino surgery story you locked father and son in a room until they got over themselves. And the time before that you gave the pep-talk of a lifetime to keep a donor from backing out." Alice did her best to mimic the raised eyebrow Leonard had mastered. "Did you talk a suicidal donor off of a roof? Or maybe you were the lead surgeon on one of the procedures even though you were still just an intern."

His laughter swarmed around her, blocking out the music and conversation that was around her. "Alright," he chuckled, "I admit, I do add a few…embellishments, but it's only for the best effect."

Alice was sent into a fit of giggling as she leaned into Leonard slightly, the alcohol relaxing her not nearly as much as his voice was, but it wasn't distracting enough for her to miss the look of fondness he wore as he watched her.

"What?" she chuckled.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself," Leonard said with that damned eyebrow of his raised that was stupidly charming.

"Must be the alcohol," she replied mischievously. "Or maybe it's the southern gentleman I'm lucky enough to have on my arm."

"Oh, so you're lucky now?" Leonard said from behind his glass. "I thought I was just the better option to Jim?"

"You're more than that, Leon," Alice said dangerously honest thanks to the alcohol.

"How much more?" Leon asked, the southern growl of his making things very difficult for Alice.

This game of mostly teasing and borderline flirtation had been going on for most of the night after both of them had downed their first couple of drinks. It had only steadily increased in intensity and pushed the boundaries further as the night progressed.

But not all good things can continue indefinitely.

"Well, if it isn't Alice Khan and Doctor Leonard McCoy," a very rude and abrupt greeting pulling them from their playful teasing. Jason approached them, martini in hand as he looked like a stereotypical villain in his black on black suit. "You know, I did some reading up on you, Doctor," Jason said in a malicious scowl, drawing himself close enough to Leonard so that no one around them could hear what was going on. "Divorced with nothing to his name, your only option being to drink your shame away or enlist in Starfleet. Though the rumor has it that the only reason you enlisted was because you burned through what little money you had left on booze." Jason backed off, straightening out in a challenging way. "But that's just what I read."

"Yeah, well let's see how well you read after I turn your face into a Jackson Pollok painting and leave you bleeding on the floor," Leonard growled, his voice dangerously low and threatening.

Jason laughed mockingly. "You're just a sad old drunk that couldn't keep his wife. Am I supposed to be afraid of you, Cadet McCoy?"

"Whether you're afraid or not won't change what comes next."

"Leon," Alice said gently, placing a hand on his chest and gently pushing him back. No one had caught on to what was happening, but she was worried that they would start to make a scene.

"So you touch him?" Jason criticized, finally turning his attention to her, daring her to respond.

And Alice found her confidence.

Placing herself between Jason and Leonard, Alice straightened up and met Jason's gaze, refusing to shy away as she normally would have. "Yes, because he understands me much better than you were ever capable of. He actually has the capacity for storing information and having emotional depth, both of which you severely lack." Jason looked taken aback by the cold and calculating voice she was using to tear him apart. "Now I would suggest you stop berating the only man here who has the best chance of keeping you alive after I'm finished using you as a new method of cleaning the marble floors if you don't return back to the absent-minded blonde you brought here who's too stupid to realize just how shallow you are."

Jason was speechless. Alice had never spoken to him like that, and she most certainly had never threatened anyone as she was now threatening him. Her behavior was a complete foil of the woman he had a relationship with. There was no uncertainty in her voice as she spoke and she didn't submit to her quiet mannerisms when she met a little bit of resistance from a situation. Alice had never been so confident around him before.

It looked as though he were about to say something, but Jason clearly thought better of it and simply backed off, turning to leave them and enjoy the company of his thoughtless date. Alice let out a deep breath, relaxing slightly as the tense situation dissolved.

Gentle fingers snaked around her waist, causing her to jump softly, but she didn't pull away. Alice couldn't tell if the movement was protective or reassuring as she looked up at Leonard. His eyes remained fixed on Jason until the crowd of people swallowed him up.

"I could use something to control," she said in a small voice as his hazel eyes finally met her own.

"I am yours to control," Leonard said, his voice equally as quiet, yet his eyes held such deep forests of tender compassion as he looked at her.

"Escort me to the balcony? I could use some fresh air."

"Of course, sweetheart," he purred gently, but instead of taking her by the arm, the presence of his hand on her waist became more predominant as he ushered her forward.

The crisp air was refreshing against Alice's skin as they made it to the balcony. She finally felt like she could breathe and stretch out since they were one of only a few couples or groups that were outside as well. The pleasant conversation with Leonard coupled with the effects of her several glasses of champagne had allowed her to ignore just how cramped and uncomfortable she was. Her neck cracked loudly as she rolled it, pulling away from Leonard and setting her empty glass on a nearby cocktail table.

Leonard followed her from that point on, setting down his own glass as he kept a small amount of distance between them now. "Was Jason always like that?" he asked

Alice looked back at him, her eyes darting past his shoulder and back to the ballroom before resting her gaze back on him. "Not always," she said softly. "You remember that ultimatum I mentioned when we tried to figure out who had the worst break up?"

"Yeah," Leonard answered, nodding his head faintly. "He gave you a choice, and you left him."

"At the altar"

He balked. "I can see how that might make him a bit angry. Doesn't give him the right to act like that, though."

A ghost of a smile graced Alice's lips. "Actually, I think his behavior is your fault."

"My fault?" he asked incredulously, faking that he took offense.

"Yeah. I think you intimidate him." The smile grew into a playful smirk.

Leonard rolled his eyes at her. "I think you're giving me too much credit, sweetheart."

The mischief in her smile vanished as it became deeper and more honest. "I don't."

Leonard shook his head lightly, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips as he did so; but he couldn't come up with any kind of response. Instead, he let the conversation drift away as he came to stand beside Alice. After a few moments of silence between them, the muffled music from the ballroom behind them drifting through the glass, Leonard looked over at her from the corner of his eye.

"Is it alright if I put my arm around you?" he asked, but then faltered. "It's chilly out here," he offered in quick explanation. "I would hate for you to catch a cold."

Alice looked up at him with a bright smile. "Doctor McCoy, I find it hard to believe that you don't know that catching a cold from the cold is a myth."

"You're right. Forget I said anything…" his voice trailed off slightly as if he were embarrassed.

She shifted a little, bringing herself just a little closer to him. "It is a little cold out here, Leon," Alice said, surprising herself with how flirtatious she was being. But Leon made it so easy to open up, and relax around him. And despite Jason's unpleasant intrusion, the warm teasing from earlier was still at the forefront of her mind.

"Would you like to go back inside?'

"No," her eyes held his. "This is where I want to be."

"I thought you hated these events."

Alice chuckled softly. Leon was always charming to her, but he was a terrible flirt. That southern accent of his was sometimes his only saving grace. She not so subtly slid towards him, pressing gently against his side. " _This_ is where I want to be."

There was a moment of hesitation, and for a moment, Alice worried that she had gone too far and that he would pull away from her when she felt him tense up at her touch. But instead, she felt Leonard's fingers trace against the bare skin on her back, sending shivers down her spine, before resting just above her waist as he gently pulled her closer to him.

"I can understand that," Leonard breathed. "Where else could you get a view like this?" he asked, motioning to the glittering lights of the San Francisco stars.

"Any other tall building in the area," Alice replied, playfully.

Leonard turned his head so that his mouth was just slightly above her ear, his warm breath softly rustling her hair. "I wasn't talking about the San Francisco skyline."

It was almost unbelievable how close Alice had let him get, how much she had instigated it. There were times when she couldn't' let anyone touch her, couldn't stand to have anyone touch her. And yet, here she was, all but wrapped in Leonard's arms. Perhaps it was because he was so understanding and patient with her, or because he made her feel normal.

One thing was for certain, though: Leonard was as compassionate as he was understanding, even if he kept it hidden, and it had a way of disarming her completely.

"Oh, and as far as Jim's concerned, tonight never happened."

"That goes without saying, sweetheart. We'd never hear the end of it."

~~.O.~~

I wanted to do a lot more with this chapter, but I decided that less is more and to save it for later. ;) That way I can keep you chapter addicts coming back for more.

As always, thank you for reading and please feel free to let me know what you think.

Until next time! :)


	10. Control

And now the moment you've all been waiting for,

Warning: Slight NSFW ahead

(though hopefully not enough for me to have to change the rating on the whole fic.)

* * *

"So, Khan?" Leonard asked as they made their way down the empty downtown street.

Alice had insisted that she was quite alright to walk home, her excuse being that she didn't live that far away and there were plenty of patrols that made the area safe. " _And I haven't had that much to drink_ ," she had claimed, though every now and then, as they walked side by side, Alice would reach out to him to keep herself walking in a straight line. To be fair, however, Leonard wasn't quite sure how women managed to walk in heels when they were sober; and Alice wasn't sober, but she wasn't drunk either. Walking had just become a bit of a challenge for her.

"Yes?" she asked, the glacier blue of her eyes sparkling in the artificial light of the never sleeping city. The green and gold of her irises warmed her expression nearly as much as the smile that danced on her lips did.

Leonard found himself smiling as well. "Actually, that's my question," he said, hands slipping into his pockets. "Is that your mother's maiden name or something?"

Her smile softened as he unintentionally struck something that was much more serious than he intended. "I don't know," she shrugged.

Leonard frowned slightly. "How can you not know? Your last name isn't Pike for a reason."

Alice hesitated on one of her steps, and Leonard instantly regretted having asked the question. "That's because I was turning thirteen when he adopted me."

 _Fuck_ , Leonard sighed. "I'm—I'm sorry Alice, I didn't mean to—"

"You didn't know," Alice interrupted, giving him a reassuring smile before she stumbled, her ankle rolling at an awkward angle. "Shit!" she hissed, pitching to one side; but Leonard was there, quickly grabbing a hold of her, steadying her and preventing her from falling.

"Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah," she sighed, frustrated. "Just these damn shoes." Alice placed a hand on Leonard's shoulder to steady herself as she angrily peeled the shoes off by the straps around her heels one after the other. Once she had torn them off her feet, she stalked over to the nearest public trash can.

"Hey, hey," Leonard cried out in surprise, wheeling around so that he was in front of her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"They're uncomfortable."

"So you're going to throw away a perfectly good pair of $200 shoes?"

Alice raised her eyebrows apprehensively at him. "What was it the Jim called me? Daddy's money?" she shrugged dismissively. "I can always buy another pair."

Leonard frowned at her. "I've got a better idea," he said, reaching for the shoes and taking ahold of them by the straps, "how about you let me carry them for you? That way you don't have to walk in them, and you aren't being wasteful in the process."

"Fine," she relented. "Wait, how do you know how much those shoes coast?"

"That's not important," he said with an insistent nod of the head.

"Oh, no," she smiled mischievously, continuing down the sidewalk towards her apartment, "I think it's very important."

Leonard rolled his eyes at her, but couldn't help but smile. "I had a wife with expensive tastes. Sometimes she'd drag me along when she went shopping," he offered.

"So you were the wallet?" Alice teased, eyeing him up and down. "I can understand why. You're quite a handsome wallet."

"Gee, thanks," he replied in flat sarcasm. "You make me feel so special."

"Are you sassing me, Doctor McCoy?" she accused playfully.

"Wouldn't dream of it, sweetheart."

Alice's laughter danced along the empty street, ricocheting off of nearby vehicles and empty buildings as she all but fell into him. Leonard's response was instinctual as he wrapped his arm around her, telling himself it was to keep her from tripping herself up when the truth was much more intimate.

"How much further do we have to go?"

He could feel her accusatory look boring into the side of his face, and it was difficult for him not to smile. "Are you complaining?"

"No, I'm wondering," Leonard argued back.

"Come on, Leon, exercise is good for you," she said with teasing enthusiasm. "Any doctor will tell you that."

"You know, you turn a little bit into Jim when you drink."

Alice quickly pulled away from, him spinning around and walking backward to face him with a look of shock written on her face as she gasped in mock offense. "You take that back!"

Leonard couldn't help but laugh. "What? It's true."

Alice turned up her nose in disgust, "I don't think I've ever been insulted so cruelly in my life." But she looked at him from the corner of her eye, and a smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"It's what I'm good at," Leonard chuckled, sidling up to her once more.

"What? Horrible flirting and terrible bedside manner?" The mischief that glowed in her eyes was intoxicating.

"Mhm," he hummed. "I used to give lectures. People would seek me out from all over the world to learn from me."

Leonard didn't have to wait very long for the laughter he would do anything to hear trickle from her lips. It was like a spell, he always wanted to hear her laugh or see her smile as often as he could. It was a desire that had grown from when he first met her, and it was something he didn't mind near as much as before. With Alice, it was easy for him to forget the darkness in his past, mainly because it was so easy to be caught in her light.

As they approached a cluster of similar style buildings that had thin, single door entrances with the only difference being the brick color, Alice began to slow her pace and led him to the one that had the light gray exterior. Leonard eyed the structure up and down. It had to have at least three stories to it.

"I thought you said you lived in an apartment."

"This is my apartment," she said, climbing a couple of the steps before turning back to face him.

"No," Leonard said playfully. "This is a house."

Alice rolled her eyes at him, but he had gotten her to smirk. "It's a _townhouse_ that I rent; ergo, apartment."

"And here I am living in a dorm while you have your own private entrance and an apartment that could be considered a house," he grumbled, though the smile remained.

"It pays to be a daughter of Starfleet," she teased him.

Leonard chuckled softly, ducking his head before looking up at her. Alice's blue eyes, infected with green and gold, were so intense, sparkling with a mirth that drew him in. Before he even had time to register what he was doing, he had made it to the stairs that led to the door of her apartment, ascending the first one. Alice was still a bit taller than him, and he had to look up at her, but the flush in her cheeks from the alcohol and that subtly revealing dress she had worn made her look absolutely radiant.

"I guess this is the part where I take my leave," Leonard said softly.

"I guess so," Alice breathed, her voice musical. "I had a really good time tonight, Leon."

"I did too."

There was a moment of hesitation. Leonard didn't make a move to leave and walk back to his dorm, and Alice didn't turn to enter her apartment.

It was Leonard who finally moved, though, realizing how foolish he was being. "Have a good night, Alice," he said, a forced smile. After tonight, the last thing he wanted to do was leave her side. She was addicting, her personality, her smile, her laugh. The way she looked at him… He only hoped that he made her feel as special as she made him feel.

"Leon," she interrupted him, stopping him from backing down the steps. When he looked at her expectantly, those chaotic eyes dodging his for a moment as she lost some of her conviction. "I could use something to control," she added, her voice small as she finally looked back at him.

Leonard nodded, taking a step closer to her. Alice was now as tall as he was, one step above him, and her eyes were level with his. "I am yours to control," he said gruffly, sincerely.

"Kiss me?"

The command was more a question as Alice looked at him with her piercing eyes that danced between his lips and his own eyes. There was uncertainty in the depths of her blue, but the green danced with passion and the gold flecks sparked in flirtation.

Leonard's mind raced, though not quite as quickly as his heart did. It was unexpected, but not entirely. Their conversation and behavior towards one another had been steering the night towards this moment, but it still caught him off guard. He had always told himself that he wasn't interested in another relationship, he didn't want to get involved with anyone. But as his eyes caught the slight tug of her lips as Alice waited for something, he realized that he did want this. This was exactly where he wanted to be.

"Of course," he breathed, bringing his hand up, lightly tracing her cheek before pulling her closer to him.

The feeling of her skin was electric, and the tenderness of her lips was refreshing as they met his own. As the kiss deepened, Leonard felt one of Alice's hands gently caress the back of his neck, the other bracing herself gently on his chest. All of time was lost to him as he focused on nothing but the feeling her skin in his hands and the warmth of her lips.

Leonard's hand snaked across her back, the feeling of her skin intoxicating against his own. He drank up the passion of Alice's lips, completely lost in the bliss of the moment. It was only when Alice pulled away, severing the kiss, that reality was able to assert itself once more.

Fear beget worry about having gone too far when he felt her pull away from him, but when Leonard opened his eyes and met her own, the chaos of her eyes radiated only teasing lust as she bit her lip seductively, the corners of her mouth turned upwards slightly into a devilish smirk. Alice's fingers laced themselves into the front of his jacket, tugging him along as she backed up the rest of the steps, only pausing a moment to unlock the door by placing her free hand on the biometric scanner.

As soon as the door had closed behind him, Leonard was once more pulling Alice closer to him, one hand finding her waist while the other intertwined carelessly into her silky ebony hair. His lips crashed deliberately against hers, his behavior fueled only by an intense desire that had otherwise been unknown to him. The soft, teasing laughter that escaped her and wisped around them only served to urge him on as Alice continued to back away from him, leading him further into her apartment, a hand locked around his neck to prevent him from falling too far behind.

Their tongues collided as often as their lips did as Leonard devoured her willing passion, drinking it in for as long as she would let him. Every now and then a sharp piercing prick would set his lips or tongue ablaze as she softly nipped at him, her mischievous ways serving to increase the heat between them exponentially.

They continued through the apartment blindly, Alice leading Leonard to some destination he didn't care about because the journey was so much more _fun_. Their lips pressing together in a flurry of both tender and fierce kisses, soft biting enraging the other into a fury of desire as their hands roamed across one another, experienced yet teasing as the tugged and pressed against the other's body, attempting to get as closely together as they possibly could. It was only when Leonard went to slide the straps off of Alice's shoulders that things came to a halt.

The fear of going too fast or too far sent Leonard's heart skipping once more, but Alice was still wearing that damn smile, so suggestive and unraveling, as she softly shook her head before giggling playfully.

Alice's hands traced along the edges of Leonard's collar, pressing against his chest as she made her way to the buttons. Her movements were agonizingly slow and infuriatingly seductive as she unbuttoned his jacket, pushing it off of his shoulders while grinding against him, making him grow harder with each gentle caress of her body against his. It took all of Leonard's self-control to remain still and allow her to continue to work off the rest of his clothes. When she had removed his vest in a similar fashion and moved on to his tie, however, he couldn't stop himself from placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. It was such a compassionate move, not one of lust, and they continued as he wrapped his arms around her, tracing the outside of her face with the compassionate kisses. Leonard continued more fervently when he heard her laugh against him, still fumbling to undo his tie. He had made it to her neck, biting more than anything once his lips had made it there when Alice finally threw his tie to the side and pulled away slightly.

There was nothing but mischief gleaming flirtatiously in her eyes as she looked him up and down. "Unbutton your shirt," Alice ordered him softly, a sweet smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Of course," Leonard growled gently.

His movements were rough and hasty as he quickly undid his shirt, silently cursing whoever thought so many buttons were necessary for _fashion_. He was so focused on getting out of his clothing quickly that Alice's hands startled him, and he let out an involuntary gasp.

Determined fingers wrapped around the waist of his pants pulling him closer as she pressed intentionally into him walking her fingers to his belt. "Is something wrong, Leon?" she breathed, her voice knowingly teasing him.

"Not at all," he moaned gruffly as her fingers wandered, pressing against him so obvious and infuriatingly devious in their intent as she traced gently around how hard he was while she moved on from his belt and began to pull at the button and zipper of his pants. _Damn this shirt!_ he growled before finally tearing it off, lunging towards her and grabbing her by the waist as he pushed her back against the wall.

The force of the movement caused a soft thud. Leonard quickly pulled away. He hadn't meant to be so rough with her.

Leonard leaned back slightly, taking in her beauty a moment, doubting himself and what was happening in this moment. But Alice simply smiled at him, despite the slight frown she wore in her confusion.

"Are you sure?" he asked breathlessly, still holding her against the wall. With the way he was pressed against her, erect and pulsing against her body, he had no doubt in his mind that she knew this was exactly what he wanted. "Is this what you want."

The lustful mischief that had gleamed in her eyes transformed into pure kindness and admiration as she looked at him, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck. "This is exactly where I want to be," Alice purred softly, her eyes searching his own, looking for any sign that she doubted her words.

Leonard captured her lips in a passionate kiss, one that was honest in its emotion and not one born of desire and the heat of the moment. And while his attention was devoted solely to Alice, it didn't escape his notice that although he had been stumbling after her, she had led him to her bedroom. His kisses became fiercer as he moved his arms away from her, keeping her pinned to the wall only by his hips thrust against hers, hard, as he tore off his undershirt.

He was by no means well defined, or toned; he was a doctor after all, not some over exuberant athlete. But when he felt Alice's hands dragging across his chest, her nails taking slight purchase in his skin gently, as she trailed down to his abdomen, holding him by his ribs and waist; in that moment, Leonard felt like he could have been strongest man in the world her touch was so forgiving, kind, and caring.

It was Leonard's turn to take the lead, taking Alice by her hands and pulling her off the wall, making her follow him as he closed the last bit of distance between them and the bed. Alice followed him quietly, the soft moans, gasps, and laughter silenced with a small smile on her face, only stopping when he did at the edge of the bed.

With steady hands and soft movements, Leonard traced up the length of Alice's arms, stopping at her shoulders where he massaged off the straps of the dress, letting the royal blue cascade off of her in a silk waterfall.

Alice's ivory skin was as magnificent and flawless as it had felt to the touch. As much as he wanted to continue forward, Leonard couldn't stop himself from simply taking her in, mesmerized by her beauty. Never in his dreams did he think he would have a woman as beautiful as her desire him again as she did now.

As Alice closed the distance, her skin pressing against his own, surges of pleasure from the electricity she conducted sent through him made him breathless.

"I could use something to control," she breathed against him, her lips pressed against his chest, Leonard could feel her smiling against his skin.

"I am yours," he swallowed, "to control."

"Kiss me."

"Of course."

* * *

The soft chiming of an alarm was the first thing that Leonard's groggy senses recognized as he woke up from an unbelievably peaceful sleep. The second thing he realized was that he was in a bed far comfier than the one he had been forced to sleep on for the past month or so. After that followed the realization that he was not in his bed, nor in his dorm room, nor in his clothes. It was only as he propped himself up on the bed that he remembered the night before.

A knot formed in the pit of his stomach.

What had been exquisite pleasure and extreme bliss the night before now turned to quiet dread. _I slept with her_ , he thought regretfully, as if thinking it out loud would somehow make the situation not nearly as bad as it seemed.

While he didn't regret what he did, unless she did, Leonard had made this mistake often back during his first college experience. Whatever he and Alice had been before last night, it was irreversibly changed by an act of desire he had foolishly given into. And in his experience, it was _going_ to be changed for the worse as it had every time back during med school. Even the one time it had turned into something good, it had eventually turned repulsively sour. Hence the reason he was even at the academy.

Leonard frowned slightly as his gaze turned to the foot of the bed. There, neatly folded, were his clothes. It was very…considerate of her. Usually after nights like this he would be forced to retrace his steps throughout the house, or _apartment_ , to find every article.

The tile floor was bitingly cold on his feet as he finally rose, quickly donning his clothes, though he didn't even attempt to bother himself with the buttons of his shirt as he exited the bedroom, finding his jacket and vest hung across the back of one of the stools around her kitchen island. The faint aroma of coffee wafted around him when he finally spotted her.

Alice was sitting at a high top dining table, her PADD in one hand and a piece of toast in the other as she scrolled through some article or story. On the wall across from her, a news channel was on, the words of the anchors quiet as she seemingly ignored it. When Leonard entered the room, though, she turned her head slightly, those intense eyes of hers catching him off guard, the glacier blue freezing him to the spot. A small smile pulled at the soft lips he had spent most of last night memorizing with his tongue.

"Morning," she hummed musically, returning her gaze back to her PADD.

Leonard groaned, massaging the back of his neck. "What time is it?"

"5:30. I thought you might want time to make it back to your dorm and shower."

"I would have preferred to just stay in your bed all day," he teased quietly, feeling out the situation. It could go one of two ways: bad to awkward good, or good to bad—in his experience.

"A shame we have classes," she responded in kind, the smile on her lips growing slightly. She set her toast on the plate in front of her, switching it out for her mug, taking a sip of her coffee. "The cups are in the cupboard beside the hood," she said dismissively, "if you'd like some coffee."

"I should probably head out," Leonard said, pressing to see how she would respond. It was like a dance of forced conversation as they both tried to figure out what last night meant to the other. So far, Leonard had learned nothing from her and imagined that Alice was in a similar situation when it came to him.

Alice looked back over at him, eyebrows raised, lips pulled into a smirk. "Are telling me you're going to pass on a good cup of coffee for the stuff they serve on campus?"

Leonard frowned playfully, "You're right," he said. "Thank you."

He took a seat beside her at the table after he poured himself a cup. As he did so, Alice pushed her plate towards him. There were several pieces of toast, cut into fourths, piled onto it. Leonard grabbed one nodding his thanks, an awkward silence settled over them as he munched on his toast and sipped his coffee.

"I've never done this before," Alice said, breaking the silence. "I mean, I've done the whole _after a one night stand_ awkward affair before," her eyes met his own, "but never with someone I care about—a friend."

Leonard noticed the slip but didn't pursue it. "Neither have I," he admitted truthfully.

She set her PADD down on the table. "Where do we go from here?"

"I'm not sure."

Alice nodded thoughtfully. "If Jim ever finds out, it will be the end for both of us."

"Under no circumstance can Jim ever find out," Leonard said forcefully.

Her smile grew, amusement flickering in the gold of her eyes. "At least we have one part of this figured out."

Leonard chuckled softly, his own smile playing on his lips. When he quieted down, he placed a hand over hers, slender fingers tickling the palm of his hand softly. "Whatever comes next, I enjoyed last night far too much for it to be just a one-time thing."

Alice's eyes flickered to their hands a moment before returning his gaze. "Agreed," she breathed.

In his experience, something like this never happened. There wasn't a _good_ outcome. But as his hand lingered on top of her own, Leonard found himself willing to believe that the impossible might just be possible in this case. Even more unusual than that was that he felt himself faintly hoping that it was possible for them to have impossible.

"You should probably head out," Alice said softly, her voice sounding unwilling in having to say it. "If you're lucky, your roommate might still be asleep when you get there."

"You're right," he admitted, feeling that same sense of unwillingness. "I'll see you at breakfast?"

A smile accompanied her soft chuckling. "Of course."

Leonard felt himself mirroring her smile with one of his own as he rose from his chair, though he hesitated a moment before wrapping an arm around the front of her stomach his hand resting on her hip as he leaned down and planted a farewell kiss on her forehead.

It was something that one would do with a partner they had been with for years, but in that moment, it felt right. It felt natural.

~~.O.~~

Now, I am sorry if it wasn't NSFW enough for you guys, but I really don't want this to be a mature rated fic. Plus, I'm not one to write porn really. I like to keep the relationships light and fun and teasing, not hardcore sex.

Anyways, what do you think? You have all been so patient with me posting chapters, I thought a little bit of reward was necessary.

Next chapter I will definitely be introducing more plot, though. As much as we all love fluff, a fic. it does not make.

Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Brother

The attention-grabbing clearing of a throat finally made Alice remove her focus from the task at hand. She looked up from the document on her PADD she had been furiously been working away at. The essay was due tomorrow, and while she had, had the outline for it typed up for the past week, she had yet to make it acceptable to turn in. Last night was when she had planned on completing it, but one thing led to another and now she was just trying to crunch it out as quickly as she possibly could.

Jim's crystal blue eyes watched her from across the table. He had been there for a while, but after seeing how busy she was, had thankfully remained silent, working on whatever projects he had due. But he now stared at her, the clear pools of his eyes holding questioning depths.

"What is it, Jim?" Alice hummed, hiding her slight annoyance as she added the finishing touches onto one of her sentences.

"You've grown up around the academy, right? Your father being some hotshot faculty member or donor and all."

"Yes," she answered, frowning apprehensively, wondering where this was going.

"Is it normal for there to be a curfew enforced on campus?"

 _Ah, yes_ , Alice thought drolly, _the curfew_. Command had established it a week after the gala and it had now been in effect for three weeks. It stated that cadets weren't allowed to roam campus alone past 7:00pm alone, and if they were traveling after 7:00pm it was only permitted if there was one or more other cadets or instructors accompanying them. It was damned annoying and made life at the Academy even more arduous, especially since it meant that either Jim or Leonard would have to escort her off campus if she stayed in the library studying too late.

But no, it wasn't normal; and when Alice said as much, Jim only nodded, looking back down at his PADD, though his mind was clearly lightyears away from whatever was on the screen.

"Jim, you look like you're about to have an aneurysm," Alice said, drawing him from his thoughts. "And while, as your friend, I wouldn't mind dragging you to the hospital _again_ , I really need to finish this essay."

"I'm sorry," Jim said, giving her a fake wolfish smile. "I was just thinking."

"I know. That's the problem," she teased him, giving him an honest smile in an attempt to draw whatever was plaguing his mind out.

"It's just…" he started. "The whole _buddy_ system after dark… It's what you tell kids to do to stay safe. Or it's something you tell a populace to do when there is a threat at large. But command has offered no explanation about the curfew, and there isn't anything in the news about any kind of crime or threat."

Alice frowned. The same trail of thought had come to her mind as well after the first couple of days into the curfew. "You're thinking that the Federation is keeping whatever cause behind the curfew out of the news."

"Yes, and whatever it is, it's clearly big enough to require the secrecy," Jim agreed, before shaking his head in doubt. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just reading into it too much." But Alice didn't think so. "Has Pike told you anything?"

"No," she answered. And it was the truth. Her father hadn't told her anything about it when she asked. Not that Jim knew he was her father. "What about you?"

"No," Jim echoed. "He refuses to talk about it, saying I should just focus on my studies."

"How very Pike-ish of him," Alice said lightly, a small smirk. Jim chuckled faintly before his expression became more serious, he clearly wasn't going to stop thinking about the cause of the curfew anytime soon. "Seriously, now," she continued playfully. "I'm sure everything's perfectly fine and there doing a study to see if mandatory curfews improve grades or something." Those piercing blue eyes of his looked doubtful. "And if everything isn't alright, I'll protect you."

"Then I can rest easy knowing I've got Alice Khan watching over me," Jim said mockingly, though his lips tugged into the first honest smile of the night.

"Damn straight," Alice said, straightening up and jutting out her chin. If she had been standing, she would have placed her hands on her hips in a stereotypical hero pose. Anything to get him out of his melancholy.

Jim's laughter was honest and relaxing. As annoying as he could get sometimes, he always had a way of diffusing situations with his smile…or escalating them depending _on_ the situation. If he didn't have a smile plastered on his face, a teasing tone, or soft laughter falling off his tongue, you knew without a doubt that something was wrong. The only time he was quiet was when he needed to be, when he was thinking, or when the world was about to end.

"So what did you do over the weekend?" Jim said, changing the subject with a painful transition.

Alice didn't mind letting him distract her if it worked both ways. "Nothing really," she lied. "Had dinner with my father," that was the truth, "but mostly stayed home alone, studying," another lie.

"How boring," Jim booed her with a frown. "You know, if you asked Cupcake from Warp Physics, I'm sure he'd take you out on a date." After the fight with Cadet Hendorff the night before he enlisted, Jim had refused to call _Cupcake_ by his real name—Alice and Leonard had only heard the entirety of what had happened after Jim struck out and had gotten drunk with them at Joes.

There was no way for Alice to contain the disgusted scoff as she rolled her eyes. "That's why I don't ask."

"Too scared?"

"Too uninterested," Alice replied flatly with a charming smile.

"Well, you could always let me take you out for dinner sometime."

"I'll pass," she smiled. "Besides, you're like a brother to me," she added with a wink, knowing exactly how disappointed that statement would make him.

Jim groaned playfully letting his head crash with a soft thud on the table. "The only beautiful girl I'm truly interested in, and you keep turning me down."

Alice couldn't help but laugh at his little display. He had been trying to get her to give him a chance from the very beginning, and it had been sweet, albeit a bit annoying after it persisted for more than a couple of minutes, but Jim just wasn't what she was looking for. She needed a little control in her life.

"I'm pretty sure I've heard you use that line a couple of times for _the only beautiful girl_ you found at the bar," she teased him.

"Yeah, but you can't trust what I say when I've been drinking," Jim smirked.

"You could have just have stopped after _you can't trust what I say_."

"You know, you act a little bit like Bones when he's not around."

Alice rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "And he says I act like you when I drink."

"Guess that means you're not very original then," he teased.

"You have _no_ idea," she scoffed, not realizing what she was saying before it rolled off her tongue. She made sure that her expression remained stoic, though, despite her slip.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jim asked, frowning slightly in his curiosity.

"Nothing." Alice quickly powered down her PADD and stuffed it into her _old school_ —as Jim called it—messenger bag. "We should head out. Bones' shift is about to end."

"Bones?" he asked incredulously, his face scrunching up in a ridiculous scowl. "You never call him that."

"Eh," she shrugged, "It's growing on me." From behind her, she could hear Jim quickly throw his things together in a disorganized fury before rushing to catch up with her as she exited the library.

Some of Leonard's shifts ran past the curfew, so Jim and Alice had taken it upon themselves to walk over during the tail end so that he didn't have to scramble to find someone to walk back to his dorm with. Since Leonard's dorm was closer to Alice's apartment, they usually walked Jim to his dorm, then Leonard would walk Alice to the edge of campus and then enter his dorm from the back entrance. It worked out surprisingly well.

"So why tactical officer?" Jim said breaking the silence that Alice had thankfully let settle between them as they walked to the hospital.

"Wow," Alice said in mock amazement. "Three whole minutes of silence. That has to be a new record."

"Come on, Alice," Jim all but begged her. "You've been giving me non-answers the past two months."

"Maybe it's because my aptitude scores weren't high enough for command," she offered dismissively.

"I've seen your aptitude scores," Jim retorted. "In any other circumstance, you'd be considered a Vulcan."

Alice stopped dead in her tracks. "How did you see my scores?' she asked, already knowing the answer. The oh so familiar feeling of panic sent her heart skipping in her chest as she tensed up.

Jim gave her a puzzled look as he stopped as well. "I hacked into the database."

She inhaled sharply.

"Did you see anything else?"

"What—no!" he exclaimed, shaking his head. "I'm just saying, with your scores, you could literally have any position in Starfleet. Hell, you'd probably have a better chance at making captain than I would." Jim pressed forward turning his head slightly to make sure that Alice followed him. "Why settle for tactical officer?"

And exhaled in relief before considering her answer.

The question he asked wasn't one she hadn't heard a few dozen times before from her father. And that word was always used every time it was asked: _settle_. But to her, it wasn't settling. It was what she was designed to do, in a sense. Her mind, as her Vulcan instructors had put it, was a combative mind. She could understand combat in any form, predicting, planning, anticipating, and reacting in ways that were beyond the comprehension of most. It was something she was good at. Before a threat could become a threat, Alice could give you several options to deal with it ranging from peaceful to complete neutralization.

But there was no easy way for her to explain that to Jim.

Alice regarded him a moment. Every now and then, his eyes would flicker over to her as he waited for an answer, or a non-answer as it were. "I'm the best person you could ask for in a fight," she finally offered in and overly simple explanation. "But I'm not very good at leading you through it."

"I don't follow."

She sighed loudly before trying again. "I can tell you your options when it comes to a fight, I can talk you through it, stand by your side, or even win it for you; but I can't lead people through it." And then the explanation laid out before her. "I can control a starship's weapons and defenses, seeing her and her crew through anything thrown at them; but I can't carry her on my shoulders like a captain must." Alice locked eyes with Jim, offering him a small, honest smile. "I'm not strong enough for that. Not like you."

Jim ducked his head in slight embarrassment before flashing her a cheeky smile. "Aww… you're making me blush."

"You're such a child," Alice groaned playfully, reaching out and shoving him to the side. His laughter chased after her as Jim stumbled over a couple of steps.

"Maybe," he admitted playfully, "but you still love me."

"Only because I don't know any better." She smirked, "You're like the annoying brother I never had. You know, the one that's always pestering me."

"Again with the brother thing," Jim sighed sarcastically. "You're breaking my heart, Alice."

"Yeah, well, maybe Bones has a hypo full of something to help you with that."

"Knowing my luck, I'd probably be allergic to it," he grumbled.

"Then your broken heart really would be fixed," Alice chuckled.

"I think you have the wrong definition for the word _fix_ there. The appropriate word would be _dead_."

"Eh," she shrugged teasingly. "Same thing."

"Definitely not the same thing."

"See, there you go, being that annoying brother again," Alice chided him jokingly. It was Jim's turn to roll his eyes at her. "What exactly are you allergic to anyway?" she asked, switching from bickering to a conversation.

"A better question would be what am I _not_ allergic to," he scoffed.

"Well, you eat normal food," Alice pointed out.

"And that's about the extent of my immunity," he replied flatly with a shrug. "No medications of any kind, vaccinations, immunizations, drugs… if it isn't food or beverage of any kind, the odds are I'm allergic to it.

Alice frowned slightly. "If I'm overstepping let me know," she warned him gently before proceeding, "but does it have anything to do with the radiation you might have been exposed to when you were born?"

"That's one of the theories," Jim answered.

"And the others?"

"Classified."

"Hmm…" Alice hummed in mournful understanding. "I know a bit about classified."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jim asked gently, his crystal blue eyes honest in their kindness.

"Do you?"

Jim let out a huff of sad amusement before shaking his head. "Maybe next time."

Alice opened her mouth to say more, maybe to open up to him a little. Jim was always so sincere when he wasn't goofing around. There was clearly a lot he could talk about, just as she could, she realized. But she was interrupted by a tall figure waiting _patiently_ at the entrance of the hospital.

"It's about damn time you two showed up," Leonard growled.

Working hospital shifts was the only other time Leonard was able to wear something other than the cadet reds outside of final formation PT. He still had to wear a Starfleet-issued uniform, but it was a much more relaxed uniform, thinner and allowing for a much greater range of movement than the cadet reds: white trousers, white undershirt and a pale blue over shirt signifying science division. Alice had to admit, Leonard looked really good in lighter colors.

"Bones!" Jim exclaimed, quickly throwing up his façade of aloof happiness. "As charming as ever, I see."

"Yeah, well, you spend eight hours dealing with cadets who don't believe alcohol poisoning is a thing and then we'll see if you come out smiling," Leonard sneered, as charming as he ever was, really. "Bunch of goddamn teenagers…" he grumbled as they started to head towards Jim's dorm building.

"Not all of us can be as old as you," Jim said with a smirk. "Some of us still need to get our youthful shenanigans out of our system."

Leonard looked at him with a blank expression, only the slight raise of an eyebrow gave away any emotion, " _Shenanigans_?"

Jim shrugged playfully, "I thought you might appreciate vernacular from your time period."

The murderous glare Leonard gave Jim was enough to cause Alice to chuckle quietly from her place beside him as they walked. His response was almost immediate like he was realizing she was there for the first time, dropping the glare for a smirk as he looked at her, giving her a small nod in greeting before directing homicidal thoughts at Jim once more.

"Next time you need a doctor," he scowled, "do me a favor and lose my number."

"Don't be like that, Bones," Jim whined playfully. "You're the only one who won't accidentally kill me."

"Lucky me," Leonard growled softly in annoyance.

Their conversation ended abruptly when four men clad in tactical uniforms passed, eyeing the three of them carefully, not even bothering to hide their suspicion, before continuing onwards. Random patrols of both uniformed police and Federation security personnel had also been set up in accordance with the curfew, and they always had a way of making those out past the curfew feel like criminals under their scrutinizing glares.

"Has Pike said anything to you two about this damn curfew?" Leonard asked once the patrol was out of earshot.

"Nothing," Alice said, answering for Jim as well.

"Well I hope it ends soon," he grumbled. "It's becoming very inconvenient."

Jim nodded in agreement. "It's almost impossible to sneak into the women's dorm now." His face twisted into an obnoxious expression, the foolhardy grin he wore becoming the focal point of it.

"You're unbelievable," Leonard groaned, rolling his eyes so much so that Alice thought it looked painful.

Jim's laughter echoed around them when they finally arrived at his dorm, "We're still on for Saturday at Joe's, right?" he asked, quickly ascending the stairs to the entrance.

"Of course!" Alice called out to him playfully.

"Whatever," Leonard said dismissively, waving him off.

That left the pair of them to backtrack nearly all the way across campus to reach the dorms reserved for the cadets on the medical track and Alice's apartment. It was a beautiful night, the air wasn't unbearably humid for once and there was a soft breeze to keep Alice from overheating in her uniform; and she was in good company, so she didn't mind the distance quite so much.

Alice looked over at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. When he caught her looking at him, Leonard matched her smile with one of his own. "Do you need any control tonight?"

Control. It had become their code-word over the past month. One of them would mention it, either Alice saying she needed it or Leonard would ask after it, in conversation or a simple message through their communicators. It was how they managed to keep it from Jim and everyone else so far after deciding that it would be best for everyone involved if they kept their late night activities a secret.

"I still have that essay I need to finish," Alice sighed.

"I could always help you with it," he offered.

She gave him a disbelieving look, "Before or after you help me out of my clothes?"

A moment of hesitation. "Before," he answered sheepishly.

Alice chuckled softly, "You're terrible."

"That's _not_ what you told me last night."

~~.O.~~

UGH! This chapter was supposed to have some Alice—Jim bonding in it, but it's just so difficult to get his character down for me…

Honestly, I'm disappointed in this chapter and understand if you are as well, which is why it's so short. I gave up on trying to salvage it and now it's just filler to get to _Saturday Night at Joe's_.

I promise that the next chapter will be better. I really just struggled with this one.


	12. Needles

The bell above the bar's door jingled once more, and Leonard, not so subtly, looked over his shoulder to see if it was finally Alice walking through the door. _She's never late_ , he thought, turning back to the bar. His completely full beer was within easy reach, but untouched. With all the rumors flying around about why there was a curfew, an involuntary gnawing sensation of worry buried itself in the pit of his stomach.

"Alice isn't usually late, is she?" Jim asked, his voice carrying an edge of concern similar to the one Leonard was feeling as he landed gracelessly onto the barstool next to his friend.

"Hardly ever," Leonard shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant and uncaringly as he could. He picked up the bottle sitting in front of him by the neck, slowly rolling it back and forth between his fingertips before setting it back down, still unable to take a drink from it.

"I don't think I've ever seen you with anything other than an empty bottle or glass in front of you, Bones," Jim joked, but it was lackluster and forced.

"I haven't seen you order anything yet," Leonard growled in an annoyed retort.

Jim shrugged, giving him that small victory. "Should we call her? Make sure she didn't fall asleep or forget about us."

Leonard had been thumbing the comm. unit in his jacket pocket nervously after Alice didn't show up within five minutes after the time they had agreed on. But he didn't think it would be appropriate. He wasn't known to worry about people and certainly not for calling them because he was worried. Jim suggesting it opened the door for him, but he couldn't seem eager, couldn't seem like it's what he had been so desperate to do for the last twenty minutes.

"You've been talking about tonight for five days straight now," Leonard said doubtfully. "I don't think it's possible for her to forget about it."

The bell above the door jingled once more and both men turned to look, hoping that it was Alice. Instead, it was some gorgeous looking blonde. One who immediately singled out Jim with a flirtatious smile. But surprisingly enough, Jim copied Leonard's movement and returned to staring at the highly priced bottles of alcohol lining the wall behind the bar.

"I don't think I've ever seen you turn down a woman who smiled at you like that before," Leonard joked gruffly, not even attempting to make it sound lighthearted.

"First time for everything, I guess," he said dismissively, his mind clearly wandering elsewhere as he flagged Joe down. "Could I get a beer? Domestic." He then turned back towards Leonard. "Do you have her comm. frequency? I haven't gotten it from her yet. I just have her personal messenger address."

It was the invitation he had been waiting for. "Probably 'cause she's smart enough to know better than to give it to you." Leonard pulled out his comm., scrolling through his contacts until he found Alice's information and selected it. "And no, I will not be giving it to you."

"Wait, why do you have it?" Jim asked, sounding slightly offended.

"She gave it to me when you were hospitalized." He switched his comm. to confidential and held it to his ear.

"Why didn't she give it to me?" he all but pouted.

"Probably because she knew one of us would be with you when you did something stupid and no would need to call you to let you know you had done something stupid." _God, it's like I'm dealing with a five-year-old_ , he thought bitterly, his concern making him more irritable than normal.

"It's not like _I_ was the one who injected myself with something I was allergic to," Jim argued.

"It's not like you were very forthcoming with your medical history either," Leonard fired back, Jim's comment striking at the painful truth he hadn't forgiven himself for yet. He slammed his comm. unit on the counter in apparent frustration when really it was just his concern from the situation growing.

"Nothing?" Jim asked, knowing full well the answer already.

"Yeah."

"It's probably nothing, right?"

"Probably." But in truth, his heart was starting to race. _This isn't like her_ … He drummed his fingers impatiently on the counter. "I'm going to try her again."

Leonard expected some smart-assed remark about finally growing a heart and caring about something for once from Jim, but his mostly obnoxiously loud friend was absent, and the man sitting next to him was silently serious, nodding softly as he rotated the glass of beer Joe had brought him. But like Leonard, he had yet to take his first drink.

Lenard snapped his comm. unit shut, dropping it back on the counter once more when he got Alice's messenger tone again. "Where the hell is she?" he sighed, his grim façade starting to crumble as worry edged into his voice.

"Is having me for company really that terrible?" Jim asked eyeing him curiously.

"Yes, but that's not my point."

And Jim knew that. The damn kid couldn't go longer than three minutes without having to say something or ask some overly personal question. Yet here he was, sitting at a bar, not drinking and not chasing after some girl as he always did. If there was one thing that Leonard knew about him, it was this: Jim was only quiet when he needed to be or when something was seriously wrong. Leonard just hoped that they were both wrong and that Alice being late was nothing serious.

But Leonard couldn't stop himself from thinking about the rumors surrounding the curfew. It had been in effect for a month now, and command had yet to issue a formal statement as to the reason behind it. Young cadets have wild imaginations, though, and had come up with quite of few theories. You couldn't fault their logic behind their reasoning. A curfew like the one currently in effect was only instituted when there was a threat at large. The most favored rumor following that logic was that someone, or some group, was targeting the Federation. More specifically, Federation cadets.

But it was just a rumor.

Leonard swallowed hard. For the past five weeks, ever since the night of the gala, he had started to get to know Alice better than anyone. They shared more than a bed together, and while Leonard kept telling himself that he needed to keep it casual and fun, to keep the relationship aspect completely out of it—reminding himself of what happened the last time he had a relationship and how horribly it went—he couldn't help but care for her. Alice had been a friend before things had become intimate between them, and now, to him, she was—

The bell jingled above the door, causing Jim and Leonard to turn simultaneously once more, and they were both able to breathe a collective sigh of relief as Alice walked in.

Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, ebony bangs cascading across her face. As she spotted both of them, a smile warmed her features. She was wearing dark blue jeans and a white bomber jacket with a black shirt underneath. As she approached, Jim hopped over to the next barstool so that Alice could sit between them.

"Sorry I'm so late boys," Alice said breathlessly as she remained standing. "Uhura called me just as I was about to leave and we ended up talking a lot longer than I thought." _That's why she didn't answer her phone,_ Leonard realized. Joe saw that Alice had finally arrived and stopped by to ask what she was having. "I'll have whatever Jim got."

"It's fine," Leonard shrugged off, not bothering to mention just how worried they had been earlier. "Are you going to have a seat?"

"Actually I was wondering if we could sit at a table tonight," Alice said. "Comfier chairs."

"Anything for you, sweetheart," Leonard said, picking up his bottle and taking a swig before rising to his feet. "I'm just glad you're here, now I don' have to feel guilty about starting without you."

Jim followed suit, almost completely, as he also got up and drank from his beer. "Functional alcoholics like ourselves don't feel guilty for drinking."

"You're right," Leonard admitted, with a playful smirk, masking his earlier concerns. "I was just being polite."

Alice seemed to regard the two of them for a moment, a thoughtful smile dancing on her lips before she began to chuckle softly. Clearly, she found something about the two of them amusing as she grabbed her drink from Joe. "Come on," she said pleasantly, "we have a whole night of drinking ahead of us."

* * *

He had been bothering her all night. Every time he passed by their table to get a drink, he would stop and make some passing remark to Alice. And every time she would politely tell him off, asking him to stop or not to touch her several times. The guy just couldn't take the hint that she wasn't interested, and the more drinks he got up to get for him and his friends, the more obnoxious his advances towards her became.

It irritated Leonard. Not because of whatever was between them, they never said if they were exclusive or anything. It was fun, not a relationship, so if she wanted to be with someone else, he wouldn't mind. Well, that wasn't true. He would be disappointed, he enjoyed being with her; but it wasn't his place to control her life in any way other than what she allowed him.

No. What irritated him was how this guy was so ignorant of how uncomfortable he made Alice.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything, beautiful?" the asshole asked, his words slightly slurred as he stopped by once more. Alice cringed away from him as he propped himself up on his elbow, hovering over her. The sight of her doing all she could to escape this idiot made Leonard's blood boil.

"Yeah, she's sure," Jim answered for her, pulling him away from her and knocking him backward a few steps. Leonard hadn't even realized that his friend was on his feet and sizing the other guy up.

Leonard sat up a little straighter when he saw the other guy clench his fists, setting his beer down just in case. He eyed the competition. Asshole had three friends to back him up if it came to blows. Now, he might be a doctor, but Leonard knew how to brawl. Between himself and Jim, they should be to come out on top. It might hurt for a few days after, but it would be worth it if they could get him to back off Alice.

"What are you guys?" asshole chuckled drunkenly. "Her bodyguards?"

"If we need to be," Jim answered. He then leaned in narrowing his eyes slightly. "Do we need to be?"

"Whatever, man," the drunk laughed off continuing to the bar.

"Thanks, Jim," Alice said quietly as he sat back down.

"I'm not _that_ bad, am I?" he asked playfully.

"No," she shook her head. "You're much more charming and polite."

"Hear that Bones," he said, taking a drink from his fast depleting beer. "I'm charming _and_ polite."

Leonard merely rolled his eyes. "Please don't encourage him, Alice. We'll never hear the end of it."

Alice chuckled softly, "Sorry." She finished up the last of her drink. "I'm going to go get another one." The little hop she did to get off of the chair for the high-top table made Leonard smile faintly, finding it adorable. "Don't do anything stupid until I get back," she added, lightly knocking on the table with her knuckles.

"Can't make that promise with this moron around," Leonard joked, motioning towards Jim with his bottle.

"You are so mean," Jim whined over-dramatically.

Leonard rolled his eyes, taking another drink.

"You know she brother-ed me," Jim said in a low voice once Alice was out of earshot. "Like full on _you're a brother to me_ brother-ed me." And for an obvious reason, Leonard found that hilarious, breaking out into uncharacteristic laughter. "It's not funny, man."

"You're right, it's not," Leonard said, continuing to chuckle. "It's hilarious."

"I never get brother-ed," he added in disbelief.

"Poor Jim Kirk," Leonard booed him playfully, "a man who never knows a woman for longer than one night and has never been in a relationship with one that wasn't sexual doesn't know how to handle being the friend that's like a brother." He raised an eyebrow. "Such a tragedy."

Jim rolled his eyes, "Yeah, laugh it up, old man. If I'm the brother, that should make you the father by default."

Leonard coughed, choking on his drink a little. "That's just wrong," he said in disgust, his face twisted into a scowl as he continued to cough quietly, trying to clear the burning alcohol from his airways. His scowl became much deeper when he heard Jim laughing.

* * *

She had been having fun that night. It was nice having Jim around. He had a way of bringing a similar childish sense of humor like his own out in Leonard, and that lead to all kinds of interesting conversations. Alice found herself completely at ease with the men that had been seated on either side of her, smiling and laughing in a way that was new for her: like a normal human being, like a true friend of theirs. It was refreshing. And she was enjoying every moment of it.

The first few times he hit on her, Alice lightly brushed him off with smiles and evasive answers, very much like she had with Jim when she first met him. As his advances progressed throughout the night, however, Alice's tolerance for his closeness started to wear thin; so, she more stringently made use of the words _no_ and _stop_ , shying away from him in the vein hope that he would finally take the hint. The man who slowly became drunk made her completely uncomfortable, the pressure squeezing her chest and making her heart flighty in its beat only increasing the more often he came by and the closer he got to her. Which only increased as the night went on.

But Alice didn't want her… disorder—the word, even unspoken, put a foul taste in her mouth it was so repulsive—to spoil the night. Leonard and Jim were clearly enjoying themselves despite how tense they had been when she arrived late. So, she put on a smile, laughed when they made some joke or smart-assed remark at the other's expense, and lightly tapped her fingers in a fixed pattern on whatever surface was beneath her fingertips, usually whatever container her most recent drink was in, to keep her breathing and heart rate under control. The only true deep breath of relief she was able to take was when Jim had finally told the drunk off.

Relief that the drunk would leave her alone for the rest of the night.

Alice waited patiently at the counter, the tenseness and skin crawling feeling that had been growing, pushing her closer to the edge of her tolerance was slowly starting to fade away as Joe mixed her latest drink. Alice had decided to go with a _fashionable_ classic: vodka martini. It felt appropriate given that, moments earlier, Leonard had let slip that he was a fan of the old cinema James Bond films. Jim had spent a good five minutes pestering the hell out of him about it, leaving Alice with stitches in her sides when Jim had started doing impressions.

Alice couldn't help but smile. Tonight was a good night.

 _The restraints were too tight as they were cinched down across her chest and abdomen. Her heart was thunderous as she struggled to breathe. Panic surged through her veins, forcing her to struggle and fight, anything to get away. Anything to prevent the pain that was coming next._

 _She had to get away._

 _The rough nylon material with metal weave reinforcing it dug into her wrists and ankles as she thrashed, her movements chaotic as she tried to find some kind of give. There had to be a way to get out, but the material was strong and so tight. Alice could feel the blood, her blood trickling from new wounds as her struggling caused the restraints to cut deeply into her skin. If she could get away, though, if she could get free…. That small amount of discomfort would be worth it so long as she could avoid what was to come next._

 _But they were smart. They had to be. It was their jobs. They knew how to keep her restrained properly. They had to if they wanted to continue their work, to keep the successes coming._

 _More hands came, smothering, blanketing her, holder her down as they tried to keep her still so they could finally start. Another day with more tests. Alice could see the needles poised to begin, could see the one held in one of their hands as he brought it closer to her neck._

"Get off of me!"

 _Her screaming or crying or pleading never worked on these people. They didn't care about anything other than results. She was just a number on a page with a list of facts, test results, dates, and notes. These humans were monsters, and they didn't think she was human. They certainly wouldn't treat a human like this, would they?_

 _The needle plunged deep, a mild pinch compared to what was to come next; and suddenly Alice couldn't move._

 _All she could see was hopelessness red._

 _All she could hear was isolation red._

 _All she could feel was agonizingly painful red,_ and the soreness of her knuckles where the bruising would appear under the blood red.

* * *

Leonard rolled his eyes as Jim continued to laugh. "Damnit Jim, I'm not that old!" he exclaimed for God only knows how many times since they had first met.

"No, you're right," he said, trying to get his laughter under control. "Compared to a fossil, you're not that old."

"Get off of me!"

In the instant it took him to recognize that voice, the panic and desperation warping it into a tone he had never heard before, Leonard was just barely able to comprehend Alice struggling in the drunken asshole's arms, the crashing and snapping of wood mixed with the sound of shattering glass as she knocked him off of her and into a nearby cocktail table, and the sound of heavy blows landing as she punched him repeatedly once he was on the floor.

But Alice wasn't stopping her assault, and she was putting an aggressiveness behind her punches that Leonard had never seen from her before.

"She's gonna kill him," Leonard realized in horror. There was no mistaking the look on her face: it was akin to the one she had worn the day she froze on the exam.

Leonard sprung into action with Jim close behind as he rushed towards her, hoping to stop whatever was happening before she got herself hurt.

"Alice!" he called out to her, shoving people that had gathered around out of his way.

But she wasn't hearing him.

"Alice, stop!" he shouted.

But she just kept hitting him over and over again at a steady tempo.

A half-circle of people had formed to spectate and Jim quickly started to manage them, pushing back any who got too close while keeping a close eye on the asshole's friends, as if he was daring them to try and intervene.

"Alice, stop!" Leonard shouted at her again, catching her by her wrist before she could land another blow and the already unconscious drunk. He was barley able to stop her from completing the movement as he half dragged, half pushed her off of the drunk and onto her feet, only stopping when he had her pinned with her back on the bar's counter.

Alice's breathing was strained and erratic. Her chaotic eyes looked wild, like those of an animal that was struggling in its decision between the fight or flight response. But her eyes weren't focused on anything, just fixed at a point past him as she shook violently in his arms. Leonard had to force her arm, still frozen mid-strike, to her side. Her fists remained clenched tightly, however.

Leonard's concern for her skyrocketed as he recognized the signs. She was having another episode, but this one was much worse than last time. She hadn't nearly beaten a man to death then.

"Jim, is he still breathing?" Leonard called over his shoulder, not daring to take his focus off of Alice in case she wasn't in full control of her own actions still.

There was a silent pause. "Yeah, he is."

Leonard looked up at Joe who remained firmly pressed against the wall behind the counter in shock. "This was self-defense," he explained in a very low and threatening voice to the bartender before he snaked his arm around Alice. Without having to be told anything, Jim cleared a path through the bystanders for Leonard as he led Alice out of the bar.

"Alice?" Leonard tried gently, keeping his arm behind her to usher her forward but keeping the contact as light as he possibly could.

But she was gone. Hollow. Absent. Trapped.

 _I've got to get her back to her apartment_ , he realized. _Then I can help her_.

"Where are we going?" he heard Jim ask cautiously from behind him.

"Alice, if you can hear me," Leonard said quietly, coaxingly, "we're going to head back to your apartment so I can take a look at your hand and make sure you didn't hurt yourself, alright?" But it didn't get a response. It did, however, serve to answer Jim's question.

Alice continued to say nothing, and did nothing other than walk in the direction Leonard lead her in. The few blocks it took to get to her apartment were gruesomely quiet, and Leonard had to force her to place her hand on the biometric scanner to open the door, something from her wincing looked as if it physically hurt her. It made him sick to his stomach.

Once they were inside, Leonard led Alice to her couch, letting her sit down as he pulled up a footstool so that he was seated across from her. "Alice," he started, trying to get her attention, "I'm going to examine your hand now." Her eyes remained fixed at nothing and she gave him no response. Leonard waited a couple of second before reaching out to her.

"No!" she shrieked, infant-like as she quickly jerked away from him, acting as if he meant to hurt her in some way.

"Alright, I won't," he responded quickly, throwing up his hands defensively to calm her down and show her he wasn't going to touch her.

"Please don't," she whimpered. "Not again…"

"I won't touch you. I promise, sweetheart," Leonard tried to reassure her, but he knew that Alice wasn't talking to him. She was talking to whatever phantoms of memory were now flashing before her eyes.

Alice's gaze was far away, as far as her mind was, he imagined. And Leonard realized then that he wasn't going to get anywhere with her in the moment; she was too far gone, lost to the own machinations of her mind. The only thing he could do was fall back and figure out another way to unlock her from the horrors she was trapped in.

"What the hell was that?" Jim hissed in a concerned whisper once Leonard had left Alice sitting alone. "And don't bullshit me McCoy," he added when Leonard hesitated with an answer.

McCoy. Jim had never used his real name. Leonard looked at his friend, regarding him curiously. It was only because of the honest concern and worry in regards to Alice pooling in Jim's crystalline eyes that Leonard decided to let him in on what little he knew and what he had figured out.

"She suffers from a mild form of haphephobia and PTSD," he disclosed, keeping his voice a quiet whisper in its seriousness.

"Haphephobia being…?"

"The fear of being touched. When that asshole in the bar grabbed her, he must have triggered a PTSD episode."

"So why isn't she talking?"

Leonard shook his head. All he had were speculations on that. "She must have disassociated to keep herself from feeling the pain associated with the flashback she's currently having." His heart grew heavier and heavier as his spoke. "Instead, she's just watching the memories unfold in front of her, unable to feel pain but unable to snap back to reality."

"So what do we do?" Jim asked, that innocent hopefulness quavering in his voice.

"I don't know?" Leonard admitted, defeated, slouching as he massaged his forehead with his knuckles.

* * *

"Is there anything we can do?" Jim had never seen Bones look like this before. Haunted, hopeless, despondent. He was always bitter and rough around the edges, but it was to hide how much he genuinely cared. And what Alice was suffering through, it was clearly tearing Bones apart.

"I don't know," Bones said in frustrated defeat. "Last time, she was able to pull herself out of it relatively quickly."

"Well, we can't just stand here and wait for her to _maybe_ get better."

"I know that Jim," Bones hissed at him, and Jim regretted saying it. It wasn't his fault. It was that drunk from the bar's fault.

Alice sat rigidly on the couch, unmoving as if she had turned to stone. Jim found it hard to believe that she was the same person he had just earlier been laughing with as they teased Bones about some quirk of his. "There has to be something we can do," he said, not willing to give up on her.

Bones shook his head. This was clearly taking a greater toll out of him than he would have otherwise let on. Alice had a way of doing that. Disarming people, coaxing them out from behind their facades and showing their true selves. That person over there, fractured and broken, there was no way that was Alice.

"I'm going to see if I can try and get her talking again," Bones said, not very confident that he would succeed. "You should call Pike."

Jim frowned. "What the hell does Pike have to do with this?"

"He's her father," Bones answered, offering Jim nothing else as he walked back towards Alice, his demeanor changing instantly from defeated to hopeful and caring, a doctor's greatest charade. For Alice's sake.

Jim balked but took out his comm. unit, Alice's well-being was more important than wrapping his head around that revelation. Jim quickly plugged in Pike's frequency, thankful that the man had been nothing but a pain in his ass since he had dared Jim into enlisting, always checking in on him, inquiring about his grades and state of mind. It was damned annoying, though Kirk did suppose he may have put his neck on the line to get "the smartest repeat offender in the Midwest" into the academy.

"Kirk, there better be a damn good reason for calling me so late."

 _Shit…_ Jim didn't even know where to start. "It's Alice, sir."

"Are you going to make me guess, Kirk, or are you going to tell me what's going on?" Pike growled threateningly, protectively.

 _How do you tell a man his daughter just had a mental breakdown and nearly beat a man to death with nothing but her fists?_ But Jim did the best he could, recounting the events in as much detail as he could, not that he knew much beyond what had happened. He had no explanation for the why.

"How is she, Jim?" Pike asked afterward, his voice quieter and much more concerned.

"She's—she's not good, sir. Bones—Dr. McCoy is trying to get her to respond, but it's like she's not even there."

There was a very long pause before Pike spoke up. "You need to get her to talk, Jim. And don't let her stop.

"Sir…" Jim sighed. "That might be easier said than done."

"Jim, I know I'm going to be asking you a lot. But she knowns trauma. She's lived it." Pike hesitated. "Just like you. Use that. It may be a way to get her back."

 _She's lived trauma_ , Jim echoed, his heart dropping as he realized what Pike was asking him to do, to relive. _It's for Alice…It will be for Alice_ , he told himself repeatedly as he remained where he was, stuck, frozen to the spot and in time. His heart was steady, his body calm and relaxed; but his mind, his mind was racing to a thousand different places.

"Jim? Jim?' The voice in his ear snapped him back out of it.

"Consider I done, sir," Jim said, detached, before snapping his communicator closed. He looked over to where Alice was seated.

Bones was sitting across from her, his hands folded together, as he spoke to her. Whatever he was saying was too quiet for Jim to hear, but he kept peering at Alice, trying to put himself in her line of sight. Jim could tell by the rigidity she was still sitting with that it wasn't working, though.

Jim cleared his throat to get his attention. Bones looked up at him, meeting his eyes for a flicker of a moment before returning to Alice. He was a completely different person from the man he had come to know over the past couple of months, gentle and hushed, and even though Jim couldn't make out what Bones was saying, he knew that it was soft-spoken tenderness that he had never witnessed before. Then again, he supposed, everyone here was doing things they had never done before. Bones was being kind, Jim was about to talk, and Alice…. had let Jim into her apartment.

"Anything?" Jim asked, half hoping while the other half already knew the answer already.

"No," he shook his head.

 _There's no turning back after this_ , he told himself. It was his last chance to convince himself not to go through with it. _If it works, they won't look at you the same way._ But it was for Alice, he couldn't just do nothing. She and Bones, as pathetic as it might sound, had become the closest thing to family he had, had in years.

"Do you know if she can even hear us?"

"She can hear us," Bones answered, "it's like she's just choosing not to listen."

"Why would she do that?"

"I said it's like she's choosing not to listen," he repeated, a little annoyed, though it was probably because of the stress of the situation and not anything Jim had said. "What it's more like is that her mind is so fixed on whatever she's reliving that she couldn't possibly focus on something else unless it's important."

"Important?"

"Yeah, something to hold her interest her or shock her enough to get her to listen." There was a good joke about how Bones was uninteresting, but Jim just let it lie there and die.

Jim cast his gaze towards Alice, solidifying his convictions. "I'm going to try something," he looked back at Bones, "stay close in case."

The empty gaze in Alice's eyes, as Jim sat across from her, was heart wrenching. If he had any doubts in whether or not he should talk to her, they quickly vanished at the sight of how lifeless and broken Alice looked, staring at nothing, sitting rigidly and unmoving.

"Hey Alice," Jim started softly, flashing her the smile he could always count on to hide his true emotions. "Bones here tell me you can hear us, it's just difficult for you to pay attention." He kept his voice light and quiet. "But I need you to tell you something, Alice, and I need you to pay attention. Can you do that for me?" Jim hesitated a moment, but Alice didn't respond. "What I have to tell you…it's more than important. It's classified."

Alice blinked, and for the fraction of it took her to do so, a frown formed. A reaction.

Part of Jim's smile became honest. "It's classified, on a need to know basis, and I need you to know this now."

He had hoped maybe that she would look at him, a clear signal that he should continue and that he wasn't just talking to a wall. But it was too soon for that. Alice did relax her shoulders ever so slightly, however, straightening out slightly; and while she may not have looked at him, she now fixed her unfocused eyes at a point in space closer to Jim. It was her way of saying that she was listening, and Jim picked up on that.

"Do you remember what you said the last time this happened? The wounded recognize the wounded," he answered for her. "I don't think I've ever heard a more honest statement." Jim chuckled softly, continuing on and reacting as if he was carrying on a normal conversation. "Now, I may not know anything about your trauma; but I understand, Alice. I've lived through my own trauma," she gave another frown hidden in a blink. "I know what it's like, and I understand."

 _Moment of truth_ , "Remember how I mentioned that after driving my uncle's car off a cliff, I chose community service on an off-planet colony?" He swallowed hard. "That colony was on Tarsus IV."

Bones had said something shocking or interesting might be able to grab her attention. Jim had done both.

It looked as if she had woken up, blinking rapidly, her body relaxing, her posture more natural as Alice looked at him, questioningly. There were still parts of her missing in those intense and chaotic eyes of hers, but hidden within the flecks of gold, Jim could see her. Whatever she he had been reliving might still be running through her mind, but Jim had her attention.

And God help him, he was going to have to continue to talk in order to get her back completely.

"It hadn't been so bad at first. Only some of the food had been contaminated, or so we had thought. It just means that it had to be rationed out and there were no really large meals until the Federation could bring us more supplies. Kodos had told us that he had sent out a message, that would help would come.

"For about a month, we held onto the hope that Federation would get there, but the fungus was spreading and contaminating more food at an accelerated rate while the rations grew smaller to match it. It was only when people had gone to Kodos' house to demand answers that all hell broke loose. All he had to offer them was a notice that ration sizes were decreasing once more. The crowd gathered there rioted, and that was when the first ten people died. Kodos had his private security fire on the crowd."

Jim's voice cracked slightly. He hadn't expected talking about it to cause an emotional response from him. He could think back on it with cold indifference, but he was having a hard time going on stoically.

"When the dust settled, Kodos explained that he had found an answer to the food shortage in old eugenics philosophies. That only the four thousand people who were more desirable, more useful, and more likely to survive would be spared while the other four thousand…would be put to death, for the good of the remaining colonists.

"Kodos didn't have enough security to kill them all himself, but the four thousand that weren't on the execution list tipped the balance in his favor. Families were torn apart, turned against one another as they became animals trying to preserve their own existence."

Jim shook his head. "I was thirteen at the time. And my name was on the list for execution. All the children were." He hesitated a moment, " _Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death_ ," he finally echoed.

"Moments, before Kodos carried out the execution, myself and eight other kids, managed to escape. I had to kill a guard to do so, but we managed to make it to the woods, just in time to watch as 3,991 people were murdered and dumped into a mass grave."

The silence that seeped into the air around them was suffocating as the weight of what Jim revealed about himself fully sunk in. It was as palpable as the tears that he hastily rubbed off his cheeks.

He could feel Bones staring at him.

Jim chuckled bitterly, hopelessly, "The next day, the Federation arrived to offer us aid."

With his narrative ended, Jim searched for Alice, somewhere along the way, he had lost her eyes, they were fixed somewhere else, flickering slightly as she was thinking. But they weren't empty. She was there, shielded, protecting herself from becoming more broken, but she was there.

Alice frowned slightly as if she were in pain. "Old eugenics philosophies," she echoed softly, her words discordant with fragmentation. "I know quite a bit about those, too."

* * *

The needles under her skin were still there, tearing into her nerves, injecting and extracting from her without permission. But the images, the memories that had held her had faded into slight distractions. Alice could hear, listen, pay attention, think, react, and now finally speak.

"They were supposed to have died with the signing of the treaty after the Eugenic Wars," she continued. "But they didn't." All she could do is smile at her desperation, smile so that she didn't cry. "I'm living proof of that."

Jim cocked his head to the side, questioningly; but understand that his time to talk had passed, it was her turn now. Just as he needed to talk, she needed to as well. Alice was so very tired of keeping secrets.

"I can't remember a day before I turned thirteen where I wasn't locked in a sterile room, where there weren't restraints digging into me, or needles being jammed under my skin." Alice massaged the back of her neck, trying to suppress the phantom pain of memory. "Every day the doctors would run tests, either on various fluids they had extracted from me or ones they put me through to test physical attributes. And every day I would scream, cry, beg, and fight to get away."

The tears came unbidden, and while she wanted to say more, it memories were too real for her too fresh, too real for her to go in depth. "But they never would. They would cut, and slice, and poke, and prod, never giving me any more rest than what was required, another controlled variable." Alice's voice broke, and she had to stop for a moment. "All those doctors cared about was succeeding in their goal of making an augmented human."

Alice locked eyes with Jim, the horror of realization surfacing in his crystal blue eyes. "And they did when they created me."

~~.O.~~

*drops mic, walks away*


	13. Doctor

Alice had been part of an unsanctioned, fringe science program centered around created an augmented human. She didn't know for what purpose other than to create someone with heightened qualities, but she did know with exact clarity what they had done to her and how agonizing it had been. The only reason she still wasn't an experiment was that one of the scientists, one of the doctors, had grown a conscience and leaked their location and files to the Federation. Captain Pike had been the one to lead the mission to the off-planet research facility and rescue her, adopting her shortly after once all of the records had been sealed.

 _How could doctors, people, do that to another human being_ , Leonard wondered in disgust and borderline rage. His nails had dug painfully into the palms of his hands as they remained clenched together while Alice spoke, preventing his anger from boiling over at the _monsters_ that had made an experiment out of her.

It had taken Alice quite a while to fully explain to them what had happened, often getting lost in her own narrative as she remembered something or relived the pain of a procedure. As she went on, though, she managed to pull herself from her episode, talking and being heard helping her.

"Oh my god," she breathed in horror, realization dawning on her. "The man at the bar. Did I kill him?"

"No, no, no," Jim quickly answered He was still seated across from her, where Leonard had been earlier. "He was still breathing when we left." He waited a moment before adding, "We called your father, as well. I'm sure he's handling it."

She was shaking as if the stress of the situation was too much to handle, as she struggled to remain in the present and not lose herself to her mind once more. Leonard wanted nothing more than to hold her as she went through this. It killed him to know that what would have been helpful and reassuring for most would cause her nothing but pain.

Alice ran a trembling hand through her hair. "He must be so disappointed in me," she said. "I had been doing so well."

"He was just concerned about you," Jim reassured her. "We all were."

"I'm so sorry," she said, shaking her head.

"Don't be. We're just glad you're talking now," he flashed her that winning smile of his.

She chuckled sadly. "Yeah…"

"Can I get you anything?" Jim pressed gently.

The smile she gave him wasn't real. It was tainted. "I could use a drink."

"How 'bout I get you some water instead?"

"I guess that will work," Alice shrugged, her playful nature trying to assert itself, but mostly losing.

"I'll be right back," Jim said with a grin before hauling himself to his feet. He all but dragged Leonard into the kitchen with him.

Jim looked furious, his glacier blue eyes menacing as he began to pace back and forth. "I need you to talk me out of hacking the Federation files, finding the names of the _doctors_ that worked on her, and murdering them."

"You're asking the wrong person," Leonard said, thankful he wasn't the only one feeling a murderous rage. "I have more than half a mind to do the same thing."

"What the fuck?" Jim hissed. "How does anyone do that to a person?"

"I don't know," he replied, trying to keep his own anger down.

"They were doctors, man," Jim continued. "Doctors are supposed to help people, not tear them apart and experiment on them."

"I know," Leonard agreed. Then the full weight of what he said crashed on him.

They were doctors.

He was a doctor.

"Jim, I think I need to leave."

Jim stopped pacing and stared at him. "Why the hell do think that?"

"The people who you want to murder, that traumatized her so badly, they were doctors," he explained slowly. "Damnit Jim, I _am_ a doctor. I'm probably the last person she needs right now."

A strong hand grabbed hold of his jacket and yanked him back. "Listen," Jim growled calmly. "Right now, Alice needs people, _her_ people, and, that's me and you. And yes, you are a doctor, you have an annoying habit of not shutting up about it, but that didn't matter when she let you pull her off that asshole or when you guided her back to her apartment." This serious tone of his was unlike anything Bones had ever experienced from him before. "Now, I am going to grab Alice a glass of water and go back in there, and you are going to come with me to look at that hand of hers."

Leonard doubted Jim's words, but realized that there was no sense in arguing with the man. Even if Leonard refused to do as he was told, Jim could probably drag him back in there anyway. He didn't have a choice.

"Alright," he relented. "But if she goes into hysterics at the sight of me, I'm blaming you."

"Of course you will," Jim said, his voice a modicum lighter in tone than he had been.

Before they returned to Alice, however, Leonard grabbed a bowl and filled it with warm water, while grabbing a rag from under her sink, one she might not mind if he got blood on it. He only realized afterward that he hadn't made it obvious he didn't know his way around Alice's kitchen as Jim had while struggling to find a simple glass. Leonard hoped that Jim was too distracted to notice that he blatantly knew where things were.

"How many Starfleet cadets does it take to get a glass of water?" Alice asked, her voice quietly teasing, nowhere near as bright and melodic as it usually was.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Leonard hummed to her, replacing Jim on the footstool while Jim took a seat in one of the chairs in the living room after he handed Alice the glass. Which she accepted with her left hand. "Jim and I got lost in your mansion." He then smiled for her, "I thought you said you lived in an apartment."

A ghost of a smile graced her lips, an echo of its beauty burdened by the events that had just unfolded. "It's a _townhouse_. That I rent. Ergo, apartment," she explained to him again, softly amused.

"You know, I used break into places like this because they always had wealthy owners and something good was always lying around," Jim piped in teasingly.

The smile faded faintly, "I guess hush money's good for something."

Leonard tensed, but Jim breezed right through what could have been an awkward situation. "You can say that again. I certainly didn't get anything like this out of Tarsus."

"That's because my tragic backstory is a bit more tragic than yours," Alice countered, playfully.

"You think so?" Jim challenged. "I can't go to a hospital for anything because they might accidentally kill me, my immune system is so bad."

"I was created in a laboratory," she countered with, the smile of hers growing.

"I was born on a space shuttle flying away from an exploding starship which my father had to fly into an enemy ship to save his crew's lives."

"Every day of my life was one test to the next with nothing in between."

"Did I mention that I'm allergic to everything?" Jim asked smugly.

"Not everything, according to you," Alice replied. "And did I mention that the only reason I exist was for experimentation?"

"You know, I might have heard you say that," Jim chuckled.

"If you two are done comparing sizes," Leonard interrupted, not sure whether he should be amused or appalled by their little competition. "Alice, is it alright if I take a look at your hand?"

The smile she gave him was to hide her nervousness at the question, and Leonard understood. If it wasn't because of the fact that allowing him to examine her hand would mean physical contact, it was because he was a doctor after having just relived her traumatic past brought on by doctors. It pained him to think what being around him, what being with him, had done to her.

"Sure," Alice answered as pleasantly as she could in her overly quiet behavior, extending her hand towards him. "Nothing's broken, though."

"I'd like to be the judge of that myself, sweetheart," he replied, offering her a small smirk. Leonard then dipped the washcloth into the warm water he had left on the floor and began to wash away the blood that had dried to her knuckles. "Let me know if you feel any pain," he added, very doctor-like when he noticed her watching him while he worked.

Leonard held her hand as tenderly the wrist, her delicate fingers softly resting on his on his skin as he gently brushed away the blood in as soothing of a manner as he could. Every now and then he would look up from what he was doing, searching Alice's face for any sign of flinching or wincing at either what he was doing or from discomfort. He felt a protective urge to keep her from harm, even if it was by his own hand as he tried to help her. She had been through enough, and Leonard didn't think he would be able to forgive himself if he put her through anything more.

This protective urge and concern over her well-being didn't still the subtle longing to feel those fingertips of hers tracing over his skin once more, though. Leonard still found himself craving her touch, though he doubted if he would be so lucky as to have her in his arms anytime soon.

"You said you were augmented," Jim commented, distracting her. "What does that mean," he knew what it meant, "that you're like a superhero or something?"

Alice rolled her eyes at him, her body relaxing closer and closer to casual lounging, though it was nowhere near as relaxed as Jim, sprawled out on the living room chair. "I guess if you need to oversimplify it then yes, something like that."

"Alright, my next question is very important," meaning it wasn't, "can you fly?"

It was the first honest string of laughter that came dancing musically off her lips, and Leonard's heart was no longer quite so heavy, a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth. "No!" Alice said, before the smirk she wore turned mischievous. "I _can_ land from a four story drop without breaking any bones, though."

"You're kidding," Jim looked at her, amusement written on his features. "What did you do, launch yourself off of a building to see if you could survive it?"

"Not exactly," she answered, her smile faded slightly. "It was when I was eleven."

 _Meaning she was still in the research facility_ , Leonard winced, deciding to quickly change the topic for Jim, since he clearly hadn't realized what he was getting into. "Well, it looks like you were right," he said, keeping the concern out of his voice as well as he could. "It appears that nothing is broken."

"Told you," Alice remarked, her voice betraying that she was pleased with herself.

Leonard scoffed lightly in amusement, smiling faintly for her. "There will be a bit of swelling for a while, I imagine, and some bruising, though I'm not sure how long for you given…" he let his voice trail off.

"I know," Alice said, her voice small. "I'll give you access to my medical file tomorrow, my real file."

Jim turned very serious as well. "I'll let Pike give you access to my file as well."

"Gee, thanks," Leonard said sarcastically. "Now I won't be able to plead ignorance if I _accidentally_ kill you with medication."

A mocking hurt expression pulled at Jim's face, "What about your Hippocratic oath? Do no harm, and all that, or did you forget about it?"

"Trust me, Jim, I know it by heart. I recite every time you open your damn mouth. It's the only thing that _does_ keep me from killing you sometimes."

But instead of playing hurt, Jim merely shrugged, smiling in amusement. "I honestly can't blame you for that."

* * *

Leonard hadn't been able to sleep at all last night. When he had finally gotten back to his dorm from Alice's apartment, what she revealed to him asserted itself in his thoughts, haunting him and preventing him from sleeping. When his PADD went off with an alert for a message, he had welcomed the distraction up until the moment he realized it was from Pike regarding Jim's medical file. Since sleep was tactfully evading him, Leonard had decided to go over it and figure out what he had gotten himself into when he told Jim he was his primary physician that time he had nearly killed him in the hospital.

He hadn't even made it through the first entire page of the file before Leonard had to get up and grab a bottle of whiskey he had stashed in his closet.

Jim may have seemed put together by all accounts, but internally, the kid was a wreck. The list of things he was allergic to could have been made into their own book. And the number of times he had been to the hospital, all under different aliases, could have made another one. It amazed Leonard how Jim had managed to survive at all without ingesting or inhaling something that would cause a life-threatening reaction and kill him at least once every week. By all accounts, Jim should be getting some sort of illness or have an allergic reaction constantly. Leonard supposed after three glasses into his file, that maybe Jim was just too stubborn to get sick, or his obnoxious behavior scared off anything that might infect him.

Whatever the reason, Leonard had gone through about half a bottle by 3am and had only managed to sleep because of the alcohol, and it wasn't for very long; he could tell that much by just how much he was feeling the hangover. The little amount of sleep he did manage to get, however, did manage to make him late for meeting Alice back at her apartment so that she could unlock her medical file for him.

 _Their files are going to be the death of my liver_ , Leonard thought remorsefully, dreading what was about to come as he softly knocked on Alice's door.

Those eyes of hers, caught him off guard and stole his breath every time, and her smile was always so welcoming and forgiving. "You do realize there's a perfectly good bell you could have rung instead of pounding the door, right?"

"Call me old-fashioned," Leonard smiled, her melodic tone lifting his heart slightly. It was good for him to see her doing much better, the memory of last night had haunted him. It had pained him to see her like that.

"More like barbaric," Alice teased, throwing the door open a little wider in invitation. "Did you have anything for breakfast yet?" she called over her shoulder as he followed her inside.

Leonard frowned curiously. She was surprisingly nonchalant and relaxed, as if nothing had happened. It made him feel guilty for not being able to forget. "Um… No. Not yet. I actually just woke up."

"I could tell," she said playfully. "Would you like anything? I have been told that my scrambled eggs are the best in the city."

"Well, now I have to find out for myself if you're telling the truth," he replied, a smile on his face as he let her brightened mood wash over his.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable," she smiled, waving a hand towards the living room.

Alice went about making him something to eat in relative silence, only making small conversation as much as would be necessary, and Leonard did the same, allowing himself to make it believable that he was watching the news she had left on. This semi-awkward silence lasted throughout them sharing breakfast and for a time after as they both avoided the elephant in the room.

What made Leonard uneasy was the fact that he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He felt that things should be changed from last night, at least between them. He didn't understand how she could possibly feel at ease or relaxed around him, especially when he now knew the truth behind her past. How could her longanimity be so great?

Leonard set his fork on his plate, pushing it away slightly. Alice looked at him curiously, "Were they that bad?" she asked lightheartedly.

"No, it's not that," he frowned. "Do you want me here?" When all he received was a puzzled look he added, "Are you…comfortable with me here?"

Realization dawned in her eyes. "Leon," she breathed shaking her head. "I want you here. I've wanted you here every time you were." The doubt he was feeling must have been reflected on his face. "Leon, I know you're not them. I've known that from the moment I met you." Her chaotic gaze was searching his eyes for something, and he saw a glimmer of mischief flickering in the gold of irises, "You were much ruder than they were."

"Thanks," Leonard scoffed, ducking his head faintly as Alice leaned in closer to him. "Good to know I'm worse."

Alice frowned at him, slightly annoyed expression on her face before she reached out to him, her delicate fingertips tracing along his face, scraping on the slight stubble he had yet to shave off; and despite his reservation, Leonard found himself leaning into her addictive touch.

"Leon, I want you here," Alice said, an honest smile pulling gently at her tempting lips. "I'll understand if you don't want to be here anymore, though."

As Alice started to pull away from him, Leonard felt a surge of what he could only identify as panic, reflexively grabbing her hand before he was absent of her touch for too long. "That is the furthest thing from what I want."

Her smile was enrapturing and genuine in its happiness as she let him recapture her hand in his, pulling her closer to him. "Then be here," she whispered seductively, the words boring deeply into him before her lips pressed soothingly against his own.

The way Alice kissed was unlike any other Leonard had ever had. It was almost as if she was giving pure energy with each one, her tongue sending lightning surging through him while her delectable lips were the rain that smoothed away the brutality of her passion. It always left him breathless when she pulled away. And begging for more.

Pulling at him gently, Alice rose from her seat and urged him to follow her, and every fiber of Leonard's being was telling him to follow. But she wasn't getting him that easy, as easy as she could always have him. Leonard was aware of how tightly wrapped around Alice's finger he truly was.

"Didn't you have something to share with me?" he coughed nervously, refusing to get up at her tugging grip.

"I have many things I would like to share with you," her voice was laced with suggestive teasing, her eyes alluring, and her body language open. "The first being my bed, followed by…" she cast her gaze to the side playfully before looking back at him and giving him a suggestive wink. "Afterwards, we can share a bottle of whiskey and a medical file." That intoxicating smirk dancing on her lips grew slightly as she repeated much quieter, a whisper of a kiss. "Afterwards."

Leonard rose to his feet, closing the agonizing distance between them as he quickly wrapped his arms around her, drawing Alice in as close as was physically possible, though it still wasn't enough. His lips crashed forcefully against her, more needy and desperate than the one she had given him, teased him with.

"Who am I to disagree?" he traced against her lips, drinking in every moment of her presence as if his life depended on it.

~~.O.~~

So, it says that this is chapter 13, but it's more like chapter 12.5. It's something I wanted to put in the last chapter, but I didn't think it really fit with the tone so I decided to separate it and cut it a bit shorter.

Sorry if it seems a bit choppy. This was really just filler.

And as always, thanks so much for reading and letting me know what you think. It always brightens my day when I get an alert for a review. :)


	14. Commander

"Cadet Khan, If I could have a moment of your time?" Solid in its rigid adhering to proper etiquette and calculated control over inflection, the voice that spoke was easily recognized, making it impossible for Alice to not be able to place to its owner.

Alice stopped where she was, turning to face the interruption in her day. She was by no means in any rush to get to a particular destination, however, there was an aversion to this specific person who was about to drag her into a conversation she was by no means going to enjoy. That wasn't to say that she didn't care for him. Alice was actually quite fond of him. He was just tough to deal with sometimes, especially since he knew things she had only just revealed to her friends.

"Is there something I can help you with, Commander Spock?" Alice asked, standing at the resting position of attention required of all cadets when in the presence of an officer.

Spock regarded her for a moment, studying her with eyes that were so full of emotions that were diminished by the calculated posture that he stood, surveying Alice for any information he might learn before dedicating himself to a conversation, allowing him to be more prepared for any responses she might have.

"It has come to my attention that you suffered a psychological episode brought on by your PTSD and haphephobia last month," he said, looking down at her in a similar manner that all Vulcans did no matter how much shorter Alice was compared to them.

"That is correct," Alice replied, mimicking his professional coldness. "However, I am doing much better now, and your concern isn't necessary."

"It is not out of concern that I am here," Spock said, his voice dripping with Vulcan smugness. It was Alice's theory that all Vulcans enjoyed it when another species didn't know something they thought was obvious. "I am here because I learned this by chance when meeting with Captain Pike at his offhanded mention of the occurrence as though I should have been fully aware of it."

"I see," she frowned slightly.

Spock raised an eyebrow at her. "I am not sure you do," he said disapprovingly. "Captain Pike was caught off guard as much as I was by the revelation that you had not informed me yourself."

"I apologize, Commander," Alice said quickly, shuffling her weight slightly. "I had managed to recover from it quite well and didn't believe it was necessary to trouble you with it."

"Occasional remissions are common for neurological disorders," he gave her, "and I would have come to the same conclusion that it wasn't necessary for you to inform me; however, that would have been before I learned that you assaulted a man and left him with grievous injuries."

 _Shit_ , Alice sighed focusing on not cowering beneath him like some kid being scolded by a very stringent parent. "I understand," was all she could offer, unsure if he wanted her to explain herself, unsure if there even was a way for her to explain herself.

"Again, I am not sure you do to the fullest extent you are implying with that statement." The slight cock of his head made it obvious to her that Spock was challenging her to disagree. After a slight hesitation, as he waited for her to do so, he continued. "Cadet Khan—"

"Alice."

"Alice," his voice drew out her name longer than necessary, almost scornfully. "You are aware that you were allowed into the Vulcan Academy under the auspices of gaining the ability to control and overcome your disorder in a constructive manner that aligned with your strong pre-disposition to the subject?"

"Yes."

"And you are aware that it was under my assurance that I would oversee your state of mind following your instruction that you were further allowed into both the Vulcan and Starfleet Academies as well?"

"Yes."

"The instruction you received was by no means intended to be used for anything other than control and furthering yourself in Starfleet," Spock continued, "yet it is clear to me that it has failed to aid you in control and that you have abused your instruction when you used what you learned on the man you assaulted."

Where most humans would be taken aback, at a loss for words, and angered by the blunt and cold logic of Vulcan's, Alice was not. In almost every conversation she had or listened in to on Vulcan, the inhabitants had always sounded cold and condescending in regards to her and her abilities. Spock taking the tone with her was uncommon, but she was certainly used to it from the rest of his species. She would not, however, allow him to illicit an emotional response.

"As you stated yourself, Commander," Alice said, making her move in the delicate game of chess, "occasional remissions are normal when dealing with disorders brought about by trauma. One instance in the past ten months does not indicate that my instruction on Vulcan was ineffective. In fact, one might state that it indicates the opposite. Furthermore," she continued, using the same logic Vulcan's wielded expertly against everyone on him, "I did not use what I learned at the academy when I assaulted the man who grabbed me unexpectedly—thus inhibiting my ability to assert control over the situation—and the evidence of this can be confirmed by Doctor McCoy, the physician who inspected my injuries afterwards and noted that I had nearly broken my hand."

Spock raised an eyebrow at her. "I do not see how that proves you did not use your recently acquired skills."

"Someone with my skillset would not have nearly broken their hand simply by throwing punches if they had been using a proper technique."

The tilt of his head indicated that he was about to counter with some other deduction or fact, but instead, Spock straightened his posture. "You make an excellent point. One that I had not considered."

And even thought it was highly unprofessional, Alice allowed herself a small smile in self-satisfaction at having out Vulcan-ed a Vulcan. _Half-Vulcan_ , she reminded herself, Spock's eyes being the most telling of his parentage. _Perhaps that's the reason I'm able to converse with him much easier than most_ , Alice wondered. _Except for maybe one_. Uhura was known for her talented tongue.

"Despite this, however, I must insist that you meet with me so that I might properly evaluate your state of mind psychologically and decide if it would be wise for you to continue your studies within Starfleet and to determine if you have truly recovered from your trauma induced episode," Spock added, crushing her moment of triumph over him. He had not let her bask in her victory nearly long enough.

"Spock—"

" _Commander_ ," he corrected her firmly.

Alice felt the embers of rage dancing as his condensation reached its maximum. " _Commander Spock_ ," she corrected herself. "You cannot take me out of Starfleet."

"If that is what you have come to believe, then you have been greatly misinformed." And there it was again, that smugness.

The embers were doused by the deep waters of doubt. "You misunderstand me," she shook her head lightly, allowing emotion to flow into her tone, a sadness that might sway him. "You can't take me out of Starfleet, because I need it, I need this." Alice searched his eyes to see if she was getting through to him before continuing. "I'm doing much better than I was ten months ago and when I was in the Vulcan academy. I even have a support system here." Her voice was imploring, begging him to understand. "I need this."

Alice had learned much from the six months she had spent training on Vulcan. Many of which were invaluable skills. The greatest of them had been learning that, while he may not fully understand or comprehend the reasons a human might exhibit an emotion, it was always the best way to get him to concede.

"I understand," Spock replied, though Alice didn't believe he truly did. "I still must insist on the evaluation at the very least, though, I will not be making any decisions in regards to your standing within the Academy based on what I learn. It is merely an observation to seek further understanding."

"Very well," Alice relented, knowing full well that there was no point in arguing with a Vulcan when they were being _insistent_. She was, however, thankful that he wouldn't be removing her from the Academy. "Is there anything else you need, Commander?"

"Not entirely," Spock admitted, his voice losing a cold edge and becoming much more pleasant, "though I do wish to inquire if you will be attending the annual Officers Ball that is approaching with Captain Pike."

With the change of topic to one that was more informal, Alice allowed herself to relax her stance giving him a small smirk. "Afraid you'll have no one there to talk to, Commander?"

"Most humans tend to avoid conversations with Vulcans as they are not used to our… formality and that which we find to be interesting topics are not shared by them." The smallest of smirks tugged faintly at the corners of his lips as he gave her a slightly amused look. "So far, you are one of the few rare exceptions."

"Well, we both know why that is," she scoffed lightly. "And to answer your question, yes, I will be attending." Alice held out her hand in invitation to continue forward along the path she had been following when he interrupted her on the way to the library. "As Pike often reminds me: if he has to go, I have to go."

"A rather strange agreement," Spock commented.

"It wasn't an agreement," Alice chuckled softly, receiving yet another raise of an eyebrow, though this one signified what she interpreted to be the equivalent of chuckling or laughter since Vulcans were always so serious.

As they walked along, any cadets that were in Spock's path were forced to stop immediately and offer him a salute. The privilege of being an officer of Starfleet, and she wondered if other officers, or even Spock himself, found it amusing to have so many people day in and day out abandoning what they were doing long enough to acknowledge them before moving on. Alice certainly did, and they weren't even saluting her.

Alice looked over at him, her tone becoming more gentle and private between them, hushed and intelligible to everyone that might drift too close. "You should bring Cadet Uhura to the Officers Ball."

The hesitation might have been unnoticed by anyone unaccustomed to dealing with his species, but to Alice, it was telling. "Why would you make that suggestion?"

"She is one of your top students with an exceptional potential to flourish within Starfleet, and she is shaping up to being one of the best Xenolinguistics in the Federation. Or at least, that's what you can say—more eloquently—should someone ask you." Then Alice added. "And as her friend, I know Nyota would greatly appreciate the gesture and that it would mean quite a lot to her."

Another hesitation. "Thank you, Alice. I appreciate your advice and believe I will take you up on your suggestion."

"I am pleased to hear it, Commander," Alice smiled.

"Would it be safe for me to assume that you will be bringing Dr. McCoy with you to this event as well? I heard that he accompanied you to the Alumni Gala two months ago and that you have been spending your time with him and Cadet Kirk."

"That's under the presumption that he agrees, yes," Alice said, not bothering to care about the slight flush she felt in her cheeks when he mentioned Leonard.

"Do you think he would turn down your invitation?" Spock asked in as genuine in curiosity as he could manage.

Ahead of them, she could see both Leonard and Jim waiting for her, seated on one of the outdoor picnic tables. Jim was making obnoxious gestures as he went on about telling _Bones_ something, and Leonard was clearly uncaring and rolling his eyes at whatever it was.

Alice smiled, as her eyes landed on Leonard. "No. He's too much of a gentleman."

* * *

The feverish and tickling kisses that Leonard trailed down her neck to her back caused Alice to giggle involuntarily before she rolled over to face him, preventing the fiendish onslaught that feathered her skin playfully; but her movement only served to make him outsource to his hands as he dragged his fingertips deviously across her ribs, capturing her laughing lips with his own.

Alice squirmed playfully beside him on the bed, "Stop that!" she whined teasingly, her voice indicating she wasn't overly serious with her command.

"Stop what, sweetheart?" Leonard asked throatily kissing her again as he continued to tickle her. "You'll have to be more specific," he added pulling his lips from hers momentarily before they locked with hers once more.

Rather than be specific, Alice decided to be in control the situation; quickly grabbing both of his hands and pinning them above his head as she forced him onto his back, straddling him. Leonard didn't protest, though, shifting underneath her wordlessly, but his hazel eyes reflected so much emotion… Alice felt like she was the most beautiful woman in the world with the way he was looking.

"What do you think I meant?" she teased him gently, before lowering herself and taking his lips in hers, her tongue demanding his full attention.

"If you give me a moment," he said between her lips, "we can go again."

Alice merely smiled at Leonard, releasing the grip she had on his hands and landing beside him, tucking herself against his side, her head resting at that sweet spot between his shoulder and collar bone. "I'm alright," she admitted truthfully. "This is what I want."

She could feel him vibrate as he hummed softly in understanding, each breath of his lifting her ever so softly, lulling her into a peaceful trance. The moments before this had been pure, fiery ecstasy; but this moment was pure tranquil bliss.

Leonard began to trace his fingertips on her back as he held her closer to him. Alice smiled into his chest, "Tickle me and I'll kick you," she warned playfully.

"I would never tickle you, sweetheart," he teased, trailing his fingers dangerously close to her ribs before he craned his neck forward just enough to plant a tender caress on her forehead. It was something that wasn't needy or desire ridden, but casual and caring. It was something he did that Alice was growing to love.

"I meant to ask you earlier," he said, drawing her out of the trance of his breathing, "who was that guy you were with before you met us at the library?"

"The Commander? He's one of my instructors." Alice lied, propping herself up on her elbow so that she could look up at him. "Why? Are you jealous?"

Leonard scoffed, rolling his eyes at the notion. "Curious," he corrected her. But just as Alice had lied, so did he, only this time it was caught.

"Something's bothering you, Leon. What is it?"

"Nothing, just…" he looked for the words. "I know that it's not my place to ask, but when you find someone else, would you tell me so that I know this is over?"

Alice frowned at him. " _When you find someone else_?" she echoed questioningly.

There was a faint wince in the corner of his eyes. "I know this isn't exclusive, that it could end at any time."

Now she understood. When they had started this whole affair two months ago, they had both agreed that it was just casual, fun sex to make life at the academy slightly enjoyable and to add some variety to just going to the bar and getting drunk. But that had been two months ago. Now Alice found herself feeling differently about their _arrangement_. Now she found herself loving the kisses Leonard would plant on her forehead.

"And what is this exactly?" she asked, her heart thundering in her chest as she hoped he couldn't feel it while she lay half on top of him, her head resting on his chest.

Leonard furrowed his brow slightly as if to say that she should know this, "It's fun, casual sex."

Alice nodded, praying that what she was about to didn't go horribly wrong. "Yes, but it doesn't have to be just that anymore."

"It doesn't?" His voice was at a controlled, even tone.

"No," she said, shaking her head softly as she peered into his forested eyes, hoping to find what he was thinking with the wooded depths of hazel.

But Leonard had to look away, resting his head on her pillow, looking up at the ceiling; and just as he had to control his tone earlier to keep whatever emotions he was feeling hidden from her, he also had to control his breathing, his body much more tense beneath Alice's than it had been moments ago.

Her heart sank. "I shouldn't have said anything," Alice breathed, defeated.

"No, it's not that," he stopped her. "It's just…I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

"I know, Leon," Alice assured him. "But…is it something you could find yourself wanting when you are ready?"

Leonard looked at her once more. "It's something that I want—could want, yes."

Alice allowed herself to smile at his slip. "Then I'll be here, waiting for you to be ready," she hummed before relaxing by his side once more, resting her head on the place between his shoulder and chest that seemed as if it were meant for just that, just her.

"What about you?" Leonard asked, his words vibrating in his chest, tickling Alice's face. "Is it something that you could want?"

"Yes. It is," Alice admitted freely, breathlessly as if finally saying it was a relief. But then she realized that there was something else, something that had been gnawing at her for a while.

"Leon?" she asked quietly.

There was a faint tenseness in him as he shifted slightly in her direction. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"I'm 21," she said.

"I know," he replied, and Alice could hear the frown in his voice.

"Does that—does my age bother you?"

"I'm 28," he countered. "Does that bother you?"

"No," she breathed, calmly tracing her fingers in chaotic patterns on his chest. "It might bother some people, though."

"Fuck 'em," Leonard scoffed.

And Alice couldn't help herself. "I'd much rather fuck you and not worry about being shamed because of it."

"Hmm," Leonard hummed in understanding, though the faint smile at what she had teased at didn't go unnoticed.

"Would it bother you? Would it make you change your mind on this maybe being something more if the whole world was against it?" she asked nervously.

"Well, sweetheart, the whole world doesn't have to know," Leonard softly reassured her. "We could always continue to keep it quiet."

"And you wouldn't feel like I was ashamed of you if we did?"

"Alice, if anything, I would be worrying that you felt I wanted to keep you hidden because I was embarrassed for being with a younger woman." His southern charm and kindness always made his voice devilishly handsome.

"It's not out of shame, I would keep this quiet," Alice said.

"But out of protection for ourselves," Leonard added.

Alice smiled, melting into him with relief, "But only when you're ready."

Leonard's presence around her became much more noticed as he pressed his arm into her back, forcing her closer to him in as near of an embrace as they could manage while lying side by side on the bed as if he was desperate for her to near him. It was then that she felt the warmth of his breath and the soft tender passion of his lips against her forehead, and oh how she loved it.

~~.O.~~

Writing Spock was actually a lot of fun and I think I did pretty damn good with nailing his dialogue.

Anyway, another chapter bites the dust!

And as always, thank you for reading.

To those of you who write reviews, I read them all and love them all. I love you guys, honestly. It is truly a pleasure to be writing for you all. :)


	15. Late

Leonard was in pain. The kind of pain that sat on your bones, weighing you down to the point of restricting your movements. He had been on call at the hospital for the past twelve hours since his relief had decided to come down with some kind of infection, and since it was one of two days he didn't have classes scheduled because of his M.D., the hospital overseers had no problem with _asking_ him to stay until they could get someone else in.

Naturally, the response to their question had been a very polite and informative instruction on just where they could put that request. But Cadet McCoy didn't have quite nearly as much pull at the Academy Hospital as Doctor McCoy had back in Georgia. So, naturally, he had really no choice but to extend his shift until someone else came in.

The patients he dealt with throughout the length of his shift began to somewhat lump in together. There were quite of few sprains and broken bones; some cold and cases of the flu; a couple of infections in various different places; and the occasional overreacting cadet who didn't know the difference between indigestion and their insides spontaneously bursting.

It was only as his shift was finally drawing to a close that Leonard was able to forget the pain and exhaustion that made his joints ache. Of course, the pain was still there. The only difference was that it was a pain in his ass.

"What the hell did you do?" Leonard sneered accusingly as Jim dragged himself onto the examiner's table.

The kid was a wreck. His face was a bloody mess, split lip, a cut on his cheek, the same one that was swollen and dried blood from his nose. His hands were bruised and puffy, covered in someone else's blood Leonard imaged, and there was a gash on his arm from whatever had torn through his PT shirt. Someone had really worked him over.

"Fell down some stairs," Jim shrugged.

" _Fell down some stairs_ ," Leonard echoed, nodding softly as if he were listening before he walked over to the door to the room and slammed it shut. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Picking fights like you're indestructible?"

"It was a misunderstanding," Jim defended weakly.

"A misunder—" _Who does this idiot think he is?_ He wondered in disbelief before stalking back over. "You don't look half dead from a simple misunderstanding Jim!"

"Just patch me up, Bones," Jim sighed, hanging his head in defeat.

Leonard clenched his jaw. He had half a mind to slug Jim himself. It took all of his self-control not to do so. "Who was it?"

"Nobody, Bones—"

"Who was it?"

Jim sighed shaking his head, "Cupcake and his pals. Happy?"

"Damnit, Jim," Leonard hissed quietly. "Don't you know how to keep your head down?"

"Clearly not," he replied with dry sarcasm, pointing to his swollen cheek.

"You're hilarious," Leonard bit back coldly. "I bet it was your winning personality that made them want to beat the hell out of you. _Again_."

"Something like that," Jim coughed.

"Unbelievable," Leonard groaned, quickly pulling out his tricorder and beginning to give Jim the once over.

The cheekbone was fractured and it came with a concussion as well. Several of his knuckles were dislocated, and Jim was lucky none of them were broken. The gash on his arm would need to be patched up since it was too big to close on its own. Several of his ribs were cracked, but none of them were broken. The defensive wounds, the bruising on his arms, were the most superficial of his workup.

Leonard was furious. "You gonna tell me how you managed to piss him off _again_?"

"There might have been a mention about how the curfew was put in place so that cadets would quit visiting his mother…"

Any other time Leonard would have found that hilarious. "Are you out of your goddamn mind? You don't poke a bear with a stick after it's already mauled you once before."

Jim shrugged, behaving like a child that wasn't even pretending to hear their parents lecture. "Whatever, man. How long until I can get out of here?"

"Well let's see," Leonard said, beginning to grab this item and that from around the room, slamming doors and dropping items to make as much noise as possible. "First I've got to figure out the extent of the concussion," he tossed his PADD on a nearby tray, Jim's medical file pulled up. "Then I've got to figure out if there's any antibacterial or antiseptic agents I can put on the cut of yours without nearly killing you and close the wound." He grabbed something from a nearby drawer and stalked back over to Jim, jabbing him in the neck with a hypo.

"Ow!" Jim yelped, quickly placing a hand on the injection site. "What the hell was that?"

"Don't be such an infant," Leonard sneered. "It was vitamins to boost your pathetic immunity, so unfortunately, it won't kill you." He then continued on with the list shit he had to do because of Jim. "Where was I? Oh, right. After I patch up your arm I then have to figure out if there are any anesthetics I can give you, again without killing you, before I can then fix your ribs and relocate your knuckles." Leonard ended up in front of Jim, glaring at him murderously. "And I have to do all of this in under thirty minutes at the end of a 12-hour shift because I need to get to the Science Complex to walk Alice off campus because of the goddamn curfew."

Jim's expression softened, the irritation of having to be there and from being scolded melting away. "I'm sorry, Bones. I didn't know."

"No, you didn't," Leonard sighed, disappointed in himself for taking out the entire frustrating day on him. Jim had just had his ass handed to him after all. "At least tell me you got a few good hits in," he said, his voice much more calm as he pulled up the hospital's list of medication and ran it against known compounds Jim was allergic to in his file.

Jim smirked. "I wouldn't have been able to walk my ass in here if I had lost, now would I?" the comment earning a slightly amused scoff.

Finding something to sterilized the cut on Jim's arm and clean it was actually much easier than Leonard had let on. Jim proved on various occasions that he wasn't allergic to alcohol. And although it was archaic, from the barbaric period of medicine, it would still work well enough when compared to some of the more modern antibacterial agents.

"Damn," Leonard breathed as he saw what time it was once he had finished closing the wound on Jim's arm. There was no way he could make it over there before the curfew was in effect.

"You should go, Bones," Jim said. "Let someone else finish up for you."

"There's no one here I'd trust not to kill you," he sighed, quickly pulling out his communicator and sending Alice a hasty message about how he was going to be late. The thought of pinning it on Jim did cross his mind—it would be one hell of an excuse—but Alice knew that he was working at the hospital and that his shift had already gotten extended once, so it was possible that she'd forgive him for this.

It certainly didn't make him feel any better about it, though.

What ended up becoming difficult was finding something that would numb the area around Jim's ribs and knuckles so that Leonard could use the bone setter without putting him through intense pain; and after about the third medication Leonard listed off as he asked Jim if he was allergic to it, Jim finally stopped him.

"Just set them already, Bones."

Leonard looked at him appalled. "Now kid, I know you can take a beating. But you're asking me to relocate your knuckles and set your cracked ribs with no anesthetic."

"I know," Jim said nonchalantly. "Let's go," he rubbed his hands together, psyching himself up. "I've already made you late enough as it is."

"I'm not comfortable doing this, Jim," he admitted, hesitating.

"Bones. Now."

Leonard sighed, approaching Jim and bracing his left hand on his shoulder as he placed the bone setter above his ribs. "Do you need something to bite down on?"

"No," Jim breathed. "I'm good. I'm good." His voice was light and nervous as he struggled to keep himself relaxed even though he knew what was coming.

* * *

It was as Leonard had just wrapped up relocating Jim's knuckles that they heard it.

It was a deafening roar like thunder but it struck much more violently than lightning, containing enough force to shake the entire hospital as Jim and Leonard jumped, quickly shrinking and taking cover. It was only as they allowed themselves to stand once more that they saw what had happened.

It was only as they saw the flames sprouting from one of the buildings outside the window that they realized it hadn't been an earthquake.

"That's…the Science Complex…" Leonard breathed, his voice quiet as the horror of what that meant froze him to the spot.

But what held Leonard in near rigor motivated Jim into an organized frenzy as he quickly grabbed his jacket and threw it on. "Come on!" he shouted at Leonard, gripping him by the arm and dragging him out of the room.

Both of them left the hospital at a full sprint.

~~.O.~~

You know I thought about being a complete and total asshole and releasing just this short little snippet before I finished the next chapter, but I'm not _that_ mean. ;)

Really I just didn't want to do two chapters in a row in Alice's POV.


	16. Human

Alice sat impatiently across from Spock, her body motionless as if she were actually the epitome of patience, though keeping up that appearance took all of her concentration. She truly wanted nothing more than to tap her fingers to at least draw her mind from thinking as she waited for him to finally say something after having just recounted the details of her assault of the man at the bar, but Spock had this annoying habit of—

"13, 22, 6, 92, 55," Spock interrupted her, both in her thoughts and as she drummed her fingers lightly against her knee. Alice hadn't even realized she had been doing it until he pointed it out, quickly clenching her fist tightly in annoyance. "You should learn more effective ways to cope with the counting you engage in with your obsessive compulsive tendencies, Ms. Khan."

Rolling her eyes, Alice realized what he had been doing. Vulcans had an eidetic memory. Meaning Spock didn't actually have to look back over the notes he had taken as Alice described the events at the bar. He had simply been goading her into doing the OCD-tick she would _engage in_ whenever situations became overwhelming or uncomfortable.

"You might also find it in your best interests to behave more maturely in social situations. There is a possibility that it would improve your experiences, making you less inclined to indulge your obsessive-compulsive tendencies." He had clearly caught her eye-roll, his voice taking a disapproving edge as he spoke to demonstrate just that.

"It calms me down," Alice defended herself gently.

"Does this current situation make you uncomfortable or nervous, Ms. Khan?" Spock asked analytically.

But she ignored his question. "And I don't believe I should take advice on how to behave normally in social situations from a Vulcan. I believe it would be very unreliable." It may have been mature on her part, but it felt good.

"Normal is a relative term, Ms. Khan," Spock countered coolly, taking no visible offense to Alice's comment. "One that is constructed from social norms of a population. We Vulcans allow logic to dictate our norms and thus our social behavior mirrors that logic."

"What society do you currently find immersed in, Commander Spock?"

"A human one," he answered quickly, the slight tilt of his head indicating he wasn't fully aware of where she was going with this.

"Then wouldn't logic dictate that you adjust your behavior to one that was more _normal_ for the society you are currently in?"

"Perhaps, though an argument could be made that it is because I am half-Vulcan and half-human that I continue to behave according to the Vulcan definition of the relative term _normal_." He looked amused.

Alice frowned. "You're applying both aspects of the Nature vs. Nurture* argument…to yourself?

* * *

*Nature vs. nurture is the argument in psychology on whether or not behavior is decided at birth or by how you were raised. Basically, it's _born this way_ vs. _raised this way_.

* * *

"I am both logical and illogical," Spock said, his voice light in its tone, the equivalent of teasing for him.

"Schrodinger's logic?" Alice smiled before chuckling softly. "You know, going to such lengths to win an argument is quite human of you."

"While it may have been perfected by them better than most species, stubbornness is not a uniquely human characteristic."

Alice laughed, "I'm not sure if I should be insulted or not, Commander."

There were never any true smiles amongst his species, but a ghost of one reached Spock's lips. "Logic would dictate that you should take offense to my comment. However, I did not mean for my comment to be offensive or malicious in its intent."

"I am well aware of that, Spock," she smiled, her voice feathery and pleasant.

Spock looked back at the PADD he held in his hands. "Does this current situation make you uncomfortable or nervous?" he repeated, and Alice felt the room grow colder, her smile shrinking by a fraction.

"Not anymore, Commander."

His emotive eyes met hers before he directed them back to the screen, switching it to standby mode as he set it on his desk. "From what you have told me and what I have learned of the instance in question," Spock commented, returning back to reason she was truly here, "I have concluded that, while it may have been exaggerated, your response to the situation was…normal." Alice breathed a sigh of relief. "Furthermore I have decided that it is not necessary to bring the incident to the attention of admiralty or faculty that run this institute."

"Thank you, Commander," Alice said, her body much more relaxed than it had been when she first set foot in his office.

"There is no need," he said, dismissing her gratitude. "I do, however, insist that we continue meeting biweekly…though perhaps fewer psychological evaluations will be required as we progress and instead we focus on your classes and career pathway."

And while she would have preferred that they didn't need to meet at all or not as often, at the very least, Alice found herself only slightly disappointed. Fewer psych evaluations would be nice, though. "I understand."

Spock raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "While I do not have much experience with humans and their emotional patterns and behavior, I do believe that you are withholding something that is causing you slight emotional duress."

 _Am I so obvious that even a Vulcan can tell when something is bothering me?_ Alice wondered quietly before answering the question Spock voiced as a statement. "I take it that you do not agree with my choice in career track as well."

He frowned at her slightly, "Please clarify."

"You do not understand why someone with aptitude scores such as my own would choose tactical officer. To you, the decision is illogical," she explained, "and for humans when something seems illogical, they question it and often seek to change the person's decision."

There was a moment of hesitation before Spock responded. "Whether or not I find you decision logical in not relevant." When he saw Alice roll her eyes, rather than disapprove, he continued. "My decision to join Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy was viewed illogical. What matters, Alice, is whether or not you find your decision logical." He paused for a beat before asking, "Do you find it logical?"

"I do," Alice answered honestly, with no hesitation.

"Then as your sponsor, it is my duty to ensure that you receive the most out of your instruction while maintaining academic excellence in order to become the exemplary tactical officer that you have the potential of reaching within Starfleet."

"That is rather flattering of you," Alice teased, knowing full well just how he would respond.

"It was not flattery, Ms. Khan," Spock retorted blankly. "Merely an observation based on what I already know."

"Perhaps," Alice smirked, "Then again, you were being rather… humanly profound earlier, Commander."

"Profoundness is not a uniquely human characteristic either and is something Vulcans are quite capable of demonstrating as well."

"Correct, but the emotions tied into your statement weren't particularly Vulcan, were they?"

Spock hesitated a moment before his expression softened, and he smirked faintly, "It is something my mother told me once I had made my decision to join Starfleet."

Alice smiled as she remembered Amanda Grayson. "I don't believe I have ever met a kinder or more patient woman," she commented truthfully.

"I believe she would be pleased to hear that you said that," Spock said offhandedly as he rose to his feet, a clear move for dismissal on his part. "I believe that will conclude this session, Ms. Khan, unless you have any questions for me."

Following suit and standing herself, Alice considered simply answering no; but there was something. Spock might think of it as foolish, but she didn't mind. "Actually, I do have a question—a favor to ask of you, really." When he nodded, signaling her to continue, Alice suddenly felt very small and childish. "I was wondering if you could inquire after Avarak for me. I am curious to know how he's doing—what he's doing," she quickly corrected herself.

Spock considered her for a moment, curiosity written so clearly on his subtle expression. "Avarak and I are not well acquainted enough for me to know how to get into contact with him." Something in Alice's eyes resonated with him, though. "However, since this seems to mean a great deal to you, I will make the attempt to do so on your behalf."

"Thank you, Spock," Alice breathed, a small smile on her face as she exited his office receiving only a simple nod in goodbye from him.

The smile disappeared quickly when she realized just how late it was and how long she must have kept Leonard waiting down in the lobby. With hasty, jarring movements, Alice whipped out her comm. unit and powered it back on, thinking of the best apology she possibly could when a message waiting for her caused her to stop.

" _Got caught up with a last patient. I won't be able to make there on time, but I'll let you know when I'm on my way. Sorry, sweetheart,_ " sent from Leonard five minutes ago.

It had been somewhat of a relief to see that she wasn't the only one that was late, but now, 20 minutes after the message, Alice was slightly annoyed. She had run out of things to do. Everything was up to date for her classes, there were no assignments that needed completion since she had turned them all in early, there was nothing of interest on her PADD, and the Science Complex had to have the most boring lobby out of any building on Academy grounds. Of course, she was there grossly after hours meaning most everything was powered down and there wasn't a single person left in the building.

Alice found herself becoming increasingly annoyed, though it wasn't because of Leonard. She was annoyed at the hospital staff that forced him to extend his shift, annoyed that she had to be in the Science Complex in the first place, and annoyed at the damn curfew that made everything outrageously inconvenient for everyone.

She was so caught up in the things that annoyed her, that Alice didn't even fully register the footsteps that were approaching her from behind.

"Ms. Khan? Might I inquire as to what you are still doing here?"

And there was Spock. He annoyed Alice a little bit too, but not in the damning sense as the curfew did. More in the same sense that Jim was annoying, somewhat endearing if only quietly and momentarily infuriating. But as the tardiness wasn't Leonard's fault, the fact that Spock had to ask the personal sorts of questions which would insight deep analyzation beyond the obvious scope of what they meant wasn't his fault either.

Alice turned to look at him. "Dr. McCoy was supposed to walk me off campus once his shift at the hospital ended," a hard edge from her annoyance creeping in subtly. "Unfortunately the staff has extended his shift quite a bit, and I cannot leave because of the curfew."

"Do you know an approximation of his arrival?" Sometimes Alice swore that Vulcans used big words simply because they could and not because it was necessary by way of logic.

"No," she sighed. "I'm still waiting to hear back from him."

He hesitated, considering his options before finally speaking, "If it would not make you uncomfortable, I would be willing to escort you off campus."

Her immediate response was to turn him down, politely. His offer was one born of logic. It was logical to make the offer because it would be considered rude to simply walk off and leave her in the abandoned Science Complex. However, she was tired of waiting and she did have classes in the morning.

"If it isn't inconvenient for you in any way, I would appreciate that, Commander."

"Even if it were, I would not give you that information," Spock said pleasantly. "If you'll just give me a moment. Since we are the last two here, I need to arm the building's security."

"Of course," Alice said with a dismissive smile.

It was as she pulled out her communicator—fully intending to send Leonard a message about how he didn't need to worry about meeting her here—that Alice realized something was off. It wasn't the absence of something, though. She could hear Spock quietly walking over to the security console, the faint whir of the building's air system, their own breathing, the subtle hum of machines on standby, and the muffled noise from outside of the building. But underneath it all, there was something else, the presence of something that didn't belong. Not beeping, but a pulsing sound that was growing slower and slower, and accompanying it was a scent that she couldn't identify. Some kind of chemical…and it was coming from the elevator.

In the moments it took her to make the connections, Alice had already lost precious time. She didn't even take the split seconds required to warn Spock as she quickly tackled him to the ground, didn't bother being thankful they were in the lobby where tables were abundant as she kicked one, flipping it over so that it became a barrier. Alice didn't think of her own safety as she placed herself above a dazed, confused, and outraged Spock, becoming the second barrier for him after the table.

The entire building rippled violently with life in tremendous force as everything around them was knocked aside, thrown around, and torn apart by the explosion. Fire licked briefly at their skin before it dissipated, finding nothing to catch hold of; and in the same instant, the shockwave tore the breath right out of their lungs.

Skull-splitting pain erupted from the side of Alice's head as something whipped against her, cracking with enough force to nearly rip her off of Spock. But she did her best to remain where she was, anchoring herself and Spock to one spot, low to the ground, out of the way of most of the carnage.

And it was over.

Breathing erratically and her heartbeat frenzied, Alice allowed herself to make the attempt at standing, finding it miraculous that she was so steady. Her body was calm, her mind was clear, her emotions were kept in check as she surveyed the area.

Scorch marks tracked along the walls closest to the elevator. Everything that hadn't been secured was now thrown against the outer edge of the walls. Windows were blown out. The whole area looked as if it had been expanded, the walls bowing outward from the blast. Lights were flickering, and occasionally something would crash or shatter on the ground, only partially dislodged by the explosion.

And Spock hadn't moved.

"Commander!" Alice called as she moved to his side, rolling him onto his back. "Spock!" she yelled at him again, her fingers quickly searching for a pulse. He may not have responded to her, but Alice was able to find his pulse going strong and steady. To be completely sure, though, she did also check to make sure he was breathing.

Alice coughed, the smoke tickling her throat. "Sorry about this Commander," she said as she grabbed one his arms and legs, "but we shouldn't stay here," and hoisted him onto her shoulders, carrying him outside of the building. She made it down the steps when she decided that they were far enough away from the building should it collapse and carefully set Spock down. He had yet to regain consciousness.

Some of the upper levels were illuminated by a hungry fire that had found something to feed on. Glass from the absent windows littered the ground behind them, making the shards that remained in the gaping holes of the building look like fangs. Smoke rose in lazy clouds above the roof, and Alice felt a sense of surreal gratitude that she and Spock had made out of that mess mostly unscathed.

In the distance, the shimmering reds and blues of the response units flickered chaotically in front of her as they were frantic to make their way to where they were. And because it would take them some time to get there, Alice decided to check on Spock one last time to make sure he was in fact still breathing and had a pulse before she finally decided to press steady probing fingers against the spot that was raging with pain on the side of her head, finding her fingertips covered in blood when she withdrew them and shrugging it off as not being terribly serious.

Looking back at the partially demolished building, a betraying sort of thought danced within Alice's mind. If she hadn't been late, if Leonard hadn't been late, she wouldn't have been in that building when the bomb—because that is what it had been no matter what excuse Starfleet will come up with—went off. She would be safe and comfortable back at her apartment, not bleeding and calm despite the circumstances. But as quickly as that thought surfaced, Alice quickly quieted it with a logic that couldn't have been refuted.

If Alice hadn't been in that building so late, Spock would have been dead.

~~.O.~~


	17. Almost Lost

Slight NSFW at the end

~~.O.~~

The burning sensation that ached in Leonard's lungs as they begged for more air to flood them didn't register as he finally made it to the barricade that had been set up around the Science Complex. The lights of the response vehicles raced in chaotic blues and reds across the landscape, occasionally catching Leonard's eyes just right for a split second before they chased after something else as he struggled to choke down his heart that had leaped into his throat. Leonard found it difficult to breathe, but it wasn't the running that had strained his body so much.

Jim was already standing at the barricade, arguing with one of the officials that were lined up against it. There was no question as to how he had managed to pull ahead of Leonard and make it there before him, but Leonard had not been very far behind, desperation and worry fueling him forward at a pace he normally wouldn't have been able to keep.

"Listen, man, my friend was in that building. I just want to know—"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step back!" the officer growled demandingly.

"Her name is Alice Khan," Jim continued, stepping forward instead of backing off. "I just need to know if she's ok."

"I'm not at liberty to discuss information regarding the incident."

"I'm not asking about the incident; I'm asking if my friend is alive!" Jim growled threateningly, his fists clenching tightly as he took up a posture that said he was ready to start throwing punches.

From the gaps in between the officers lined along the perimeter they had created, Leonard caught a glimpse of ebony hair and pale ivory skin. He could breathe again. Alice might have been injured, but at least she was alive.

"Sir, I have been authorized to use force if necessary," the officer warned, tightening his grip on his weapon.

"Good," Leonard sneered. "Then maybe you can use that force and get this damn barricade out of my way." The officer stopped and eyed him suspiciously, and Leonard was thankful that he was still wearing his hospital scrubs. "You have people back there?"

"Uh…yes, sir."

"Well, something tells me they didn't just walk out of a bomb uninjured and don't require any medical attention whatsoever," he continued, berating and mocking tone dripping heavily on his southern accent. "And lucky for you, I'm a doctor. The same doctor that was called to give these people medical attention," he lied. "Now get this damn barricade out of my way."

"Yes, sir," the officer yelped, tail between his legs as he shouldered his weapon and quickly dragging one side out of the way so that Leonard could walk through, an intentional slowness to his movements, giving Jim just enough time to rush past once Leonard had passed the officer, blocking him from closing the area off.

"Hey, you're not authorized to—" But Leonard and Jim were too far away to hear or be caught by the officer as Jim once more raced ahead, beating him to Alice. She was seated in the door of a medical vehicle, staring off into the distance, unaware that Jim was approaching her at record speeds.

"Alice!" Jim hollered, catching her attention. When she saw the speed that he was approaching at, she shrugged off the blanket that was draped loosely over her shoulders. As Jim came to a skidding halt, he pulled her into a fiercely light embrace, one that she surprisingly returned.

Leonard followed closely behind Jim, the relief he felt only momentary when he saw the bright red blood painted in marring streaks against her ivory skin, trailing down from her forehead along the side of her face. Patches of dirt were smudged, and soot and debris rested in her ebony hair. A quiet sense of dread and fear filled him when he realized that he might not have ever been able to marvel at her beauty, hear the music of her voice, or feel the passion of her skin ever again. He had almost lost her, and the pain he felt at that realization was far greater than he anticipated, knocking the wind out of him

"Are you alright?" Jim breathed.

"I'm fine," Alice answered with a smile once Jim had released her. But something written on both their faces must have told her they didn't believe her. "Seriously guys," she tried reassuring them again, "I'm alright."

"Has anyone taken a look at you?" Leonard asked, remaining serious despite the true emotions the burned within him; he only hoped that she knew just how panicked he had been when for all that he knew, she was—

"I sent them away," Alice shrugged. " _I'm fine_ ," she reiterated, pulling away from the tentative hand he had reached out to her with.

"Please, Alice," Leonard spoke softly, begging her to let him examine her. _For me_ , his hazel eyes echoed.

The gentle understanding that resonated within the beautiful chaos of Alice's eyes was almost too much for Leonard to hold her gaze, but the quiet smile that she wore was so inviting. "Alright, Doc, tell me what I already know," she said, straightening up her posture as she sat once more in the doorway of the ambulance.

"Thank you," he said, mirroring her smile with one of his own as he grabbed a nearby med-kit that one of the paramedics must have abandoned when Alice's stubborn refusal of treatment must have driven them away.

Leonard first pulled out some gauze, dousing it in an antibacterial solution, so that he could see how bad the wound to her head was. "This might sting a little," he warned her quietly, before scrapping as gently as he could where the source of the blood that trailed across her face was. His eyebrows furrowed deeply. "Or not at all…" he said, his voice betraying his confusion. There wasn't a single mark on her skin where a scrape or gash should have been.

Alice smiled as if she were pleased with herself. "I told you," she hummed.

Shaking his head, Leonard continued to wipe away the rest of the blood, cleaning up the red that tarnished her elegant skin. "Your file said that your cells were highly regenerative. I had no idea just how much…"

"Do you want me to tell you my other injuries that are already healed so that you can check them anyways?" Alice asked teasingly, a raised eyebrow adding to the mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"That'd be nice actually, yeah," Leonard teased back, a smirk of his own tugging at his lips. He found himself in a sort of euphoria. The terror of nearly losing her transforming happiness as he was simply celebrating the fact that she was still here, alive, despite what could have been a worse reality.

"I sprained my wrist when I threw myself on the ground," she said, offering her right arm to him casually. Alice then turned her attention to Jim as Leonard went about testing the joint and muscles cautiously. "You're being uncharacteristically silent, Jim," she said playfully, nudging him with her foot.

"That's because you're talking enough for me," he teased half-heartedly.

"Adrenaline," Alice and Leonard quickly explained at the same time.

"Well, that was weird," Jim said, making a funny face. Leonard rolled his eyes as he reached for the tricorder and began to scan Alice, receiving soft laughter at his reaction to Jim.

"Hey, Bones, you think if we injected some of Alice blood into me it would fix my immunity?" He was still avoiding a giving a real answer to Alice's question.

"Yeah, or it could kill you," Leonard answered gruffly, moving on from the scan and to checking Alice for a concussion, asking her to look over his shoulder wordlessly by pointing. "Or because her cells regenerate so fast, it could shorten your lifespan exponentially." _Follow_ , he mouthed moving his finger side to side as he watched her intense eyes respond the stimuli.

"That's no fun," Jim pouted jokingly.

"You didn't answer my question, Jim," Alice said, chastising him.

He cast his gaze to the ground before finally answering. "I'm the reason Bones wasn't here to walk you home," he admitted with a sad shrug. "If I hadn't picked a damn fight with Cupcake again-"

"Stop," Alice interrupted him. "This wasn't your fault."

"If I hadn't held Bones up-"

"Did you plant the bomb?"

"...No."

"Then it wasn't your fault," she told him, her voice finishing whatever argument Jim might want to continue.

"You're right," Jim agreed, a mischievous smirk on his face. "It's Bones' fault for moving so slow," he added, earning a soft chuckle from Alice.

Leonard simply rolled his eyes at that, though, having finished looking her over. It seemed that she was right, she was fine. However, he would prefer to be on the safe side and give her an injection of both vitamins and standard antibiotics in case she got something in her open wound before it healed. Alice's augmentations might make her seemingly invincible, but Leonard didn't want to take that chance with her.

"Alice," he said gently, "I would like to give you two hypospray injections. One for vitamins to build up immunity and another with standard antibiotics, if that's alright."

The smile that she had faded slightly and Leonard could tell that she was forcing herself to keep it by the way she tensed up at the word _injections_. He had a feeling that she would respond that way, given her history. It's the reason he gave Alice the option of saying no, whereas he would have just done it to Jim without giving any warning.

Those chaotic eyes of hers, icy blue with pale green and gold searched his face for her answer as if he could tell her what was best for her; but the truth of the matter was that Leonard didn't know. While he would have liked to give her the hypos, she might very well not need them; and the trauma of an injection might not be worth it.

"Alright," she finally said, though her body remained tense. "Go ahead. Just let me know when, ok?"

"Of course, sweetheart." Leonard then shot a quick glance over to Jim, which he thankfully picked up on as Leonard grabbed the hypos he needed. Alice reached out for Jim's hand, taking hold of it as if she needed it. Leonard placed the end of the hypo to her neck. Using his other hand to hold her steady, he trailed his thumb rhythmically down the side of her neck as he tried to calm her down.

"Ready?" he asked her gently. At her nod, "In 3…2…1…" Alice jumped as though he had just stabbed her, even though the hyposprays were supposed to be painless. "One more," he said, much in the same way he would a frightened child. "3…2…1…" She jumped quite a bit less than the first time but relaxed a great deal once he pulled the hypo away from her skin.

"Ow," Jim groaned once Alice released his hand. "Damn near broke my hand."

"Sorry," Alice said quietly, an apologetic smile on her lips.

"No it's—it's fine. No bit deal, really. I don't mind," he quickly rambled, correcting himself once he realized what he had said.

"So, am I good to leave?" she asked, turning her attention back to Leonard.

"I'll clear you medically," Leonard said, glancing around at the barricade that was still in effect, keeping people out, yet keeping them in. "But something tells me that it's not up to me whether or not you can leave."

"You two can go ahead and leave," Alice said. "We have class tomorrow, and you don't need to stay here."

"The hell we don't," Jim said. "We're not just gonna leave you here…alone." He gave her one of his beaming smiles. "Bones and I'll keep you company, make sure you don't go and try to blow yourself up again."

Alice's smile at his statement faded a little as she frowned slightly, questioningly. "How did you two get past the barricade, anyway?"

Though it didn't quite seem possible, Jim's smile grew. "It was great really. Bones conned our way in."

"You're kidding?"

"No!" he exclaimed, "he's a regular conman, suave accent, and everything."

Leonard scoffed in amusement, lightly shaking his head as Jim quickly recounted his _con_ , adding quite a few embellishments to the story for Alice's benefit; but he couldn't help but smile as she laughed softly at either Jim's performance or the story. She made it easy for him to no longer feel the panic and fear that had gripped so tightly earlier. Easy to forget, but it wasn't forgotten. The moments Leonard had believed that Alice was dead had been the most painful in his life, surpassing every other instance of anguish and desperation before them.

* * *

Captain Pike had arrived as quickly as he could once he heard the bomb go off. A barricade was put into place under his supervision, medical personnel arrived on site, even though one refused treatment, and both Cadet Khan and Commander Spock had been properly questioned, giving detailed accounts of the events. All that remained was documenting their statements, determining what truly happened through a thorough investigation, and constructing an appropriate explanation to release to the public.

It was going to be a long night, and on top of it all, Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy had somehow managed to slip past one of the officers and make it past the barricade.

Pike was on his way to intercept them and drag them back behind the barricade when something stopped him. Kirk had rushed forward ahead of McCoy, and wrapped Alice in a tight hug, something that would have thrown her into hysteria any other time. But instead of knocking him to the ground in a panic, Alice reciprocated the gesture, allowing Kirk to touch her without any forewarning.

"Fascinating," came a steely voice from beside him. The Vulcan was watching with the same intensity as Pike was. Both of them knew Alice's history and had witnessed her episodes firsthand on multiple occasions. That one didn't occur now was nothing short of a miracle.

"I've seen her break arms over less," Pike added in agreement.

Spock seemed to consider this for a moment before continuing. "It appears she was correct in this instance."

Pike waited a moment, expecting more, but when it became clear he wasn't continuing, "You care to elaborate, Spock?"

"My apologies, Captain," the Vulcan said in stifled annoyance, "I was referring to the occurrence in which Alice disclosed that she had a support system in place and that she needed to continue with her studies at the Academy." Spock finally turned from the scene and to Pike. "It appears she was correct, and with this new knowledge I believe that, despite your concern for her as your daughter, it would be in Ms. Khan's best interests to remain within Starfleet despite the stress it might cause her."

"Is that your official stance, Commander?" Pike challenged. "You were both just caught up in an explosion."

"And yet she remains calm and in complete control despite extreme stressors." Spock raised an eyebrow. "It is my official recommendation that Alice Khan remains within Starfleet. As she put it, she _needs_ it. There is no other explanation for her…improvement."

Pike wasn't sure if he was ready to believe that. He had pushed her into the Vulcan Academy and into Starfleet Academy hoping that it might help her. He wasn't quite sure that it was the best decision yet. One thing he was certain about, though, was that Alice was certainly smiling more than she ever had.

* * *

Alice's soft ebony hair tickled Leonard as her head rested on his chest, her breathing deep and rhythmic as it flowed across his skin, a gentle breeze to remind him that she was really here. There was a sweet scent of some combination of flowers and fruit that wafted around him from the conditioner she had used last night, its presence just as soothing as the warmth of her body pressed against his, the arm he had wrapped around her keeping her in place.

He had almost lost her, and he didn't even know what she was to him yet.

There was her smile, always quiet even at its brightest moments and highly infections, something that Leonard found himself longing to catch a glimpse of or to cause. Her laughter was always so gentle, never deterring from the moment or taking away from the joy he felt when he heard it pouring from her lips. The same succulent lips that would part for her melodic voice to speak a soft-spoken lullaby of words. Leonard could listen to her for hours on end if she ever had the desire to ramble, but often times she would need prompting, her endearing quiet nature adding a sophisticated subtly to her ethereal beauty.

And he had almost lost her.

Leonard stroked his thumb along Alice's back, a comforting technique that he used for himself to quiet the reverberations of panic from the night before, when for all he knew she was—

Alice stirred within his arms, nodding her head faintly as she trailed the hand that had been resting on his chest upwards and then downward, stroking him gently as she slowly came to her senses. "Something's on your mind," she breathed, sleep slurring her words together. "You never wake up before me."

Leonard chuckled softly, "Well, good morning to you too," he said, his voice low and quiet, appropriate for the morning as he planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

He could feel her smile against him, her long eyelashes tickling him as she tried to blink the sleep out of them. "Good morning," she hummed as she nestled herself further into him.

The smoothness of Alice's skin against his fingers as Leonard continued to drag them across her back in a lulling motion was reassuring as the pair remained laying in the bed, both awake, both enjoying the serenity of the other's presence, yet doing so in silence. Leonard found himself staring at the ceiling his mind a rush of thoughts, always getting scattered with every stroke of his hand brushing against the electricity that coated her body.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Alice sang sweetly, using an old proverb as she tried to tease at what was bothering him again.

But Leonard didn't know if he should tell her. He was the one who wasn't ready after all. If he told her this, confessed this weakness she was to him because of the way he felt about her…would she think less of him since it took a bomb for him to be able to admit it to himself and to her?

"I almost lost you," Leonard admitted, the words getting caught in his throat as they were much harder to say than he realized.

"You almost did," Alice agreed, nodding softly against him, her hand trailing up his chest, her delicate fingers stroking him reassuringly along his neck, down along his collarbone, and then back again. "Tell me about it?"

Leonard frowned, faltering for a moment as he struggled to allow himself to open up to her. "There was a moment after the explosion when I recognized the building where I _knew_ you were dead…and in that moment, I didn't know how to handle it. If I could handle it," he managed to say solemnly, pulling her closer to him. "I just stood there, unable to do anything except know that you were dead."

"But you didn't stay there," Alice commented, steering the conversation a little.

"No, uh, Jim snapped me out of it," he confessed, an embarrassed smile tugging at his lips. "Damn near dragged me behind him as he sprinted out of the hospital."

"You ran all the way to the Science Complex from the hospital?" she asked in genuine curiosity.

"Mhmm."

"What were you thinking about as you ran?"

It took him a moment to answer. "I was begging, praying that you weren't in that building, that you weren't hurt," he swallowed hard. "Because if you were, it was my fault. I shouldn't have been late."

"Leon—"

"I shouldn't have been late," he repeated quieter.

Alice propped herself up so that she could look at him, her intensely beautiful eyes locking with his own. "And I forgive you, even if there is nothing to forgive you for. You shouldn't blame yourself for this. There are some things you can't control."

Her smile was intoxicating as Leonard tenderly brushed some of the loose strands of hair that had fallen across her face aside, tucking them behind her ear before he caressed her face, his thumb tracing the line of her cheekbone delicately. He then gently pulled her towards him, enveloping her soft lips in his own, savoring every moment of her presence.

"I care about you, Alice," he breathed in open honesty as their lips parted, his hand remaining where it was, fingertips snaked carefully within her ebony hair.

Such warmth and happiness radiated within the depths of Alice's chaos-ridden eyes as her quiet smile brightened her features, enhancing her elegance. "And I care about you."

"This isn't just casual sex anymore," Leonard told her. "Not for me."

"Then it isn't just casual sex for me either," Alice agreed, letting him set the terms of the relationship as she had when she first gave him the option of it being more.

And for some reason, the idea of it being more made him a little nervous. He had screwed up his previous relationship so marvelously, he was afraid he might do the same thing here; and he didn't want that to happen. The way he felt about Alice, the way he felt with Alice, it was unlike anything he had ever been a part of; and Leonard didn't want this to be a mistake that would—

The mischievous gold flickered dangerously in Alice's eyes as she tore the blankets off of them, moving them out of the way as she straddled him, taking his hand and placing both of them right where she wanted them: on either cheek. Alice then grinded against him, dragging herself agonizingly slowly across his increasing firmness, the heat and proximity of her naked body driving him mad as her entrance scraped just within reach, teasing him.

Alice pitched forward her breath a seductive kiss as she nibbled the bottom of his earlobe playfully. "Of course, that doesn't mean casual sex is off the table, does it?"

Leonard growled at how alluringly infuriating she was before he gripped her by the waist, thrusting hard as he daggered Alice down onto him, driving a startled moan out of her which he stifled as he leaned forward, one hand bracing her back, the other holding him in a sitting position, capturing her lips for his own. Then, in one quick motion, Leonard flipped them both over, Alice landing softly on her back, his separation from her only momentary as he drove back into her, firmly placed on top of her.

"No, it isn't," he whispered gruffly against her lips, the soft giggles that escaped between her moans like sweet music, urging him further and further.

~~.O.~~

Alright guys here is another chapter!

Enjoy, you fanfic addicts you, and please tell me what you think. :) I love your feedback and it is always so encouraging.

As always, thank you for reading!

Actually, one more thing. I am considering opening up a request for NSFW. Full NSFW. I may be willing to dedicate a part of a chapter, or maybe a full chapter to it if it is something a majority of you lovely followers want. You can tell me either in review or private message format.

I am not saying that it will be in the next couple of chapters, but if I do get positive feedback on the potential of future NSFW, I will consider throwing it in there.

So, please let me know you love me ;) and if you would like some sexy time.


	18. Created

"This is complete bullshit!" Jim exclaimed, tossing his PADD angrily on the conference table. "Do they honestly expect us to believe that it wasn't a bomb?"

Alice found herself staring at Jim, thankful that she had decided to pick one of the soundproof rooms in the library meant for group studying. She had never seen him so angry before. Sure he could get threatening, he had done so a few times in front of her right before she or Leonard pulled him away from an incoming fight; but there was never any honest rage in him.

"Maybe it wasn't a bomb," Leonard offered weakly, his voice betraying his own doubt.

"Tell me, what part of _a spark caused by malfunctioning equipment being sucked in through their air intake system, resulting in an explosive like combustion within the vents of the Science Complex resulting in the destruction of the northern wing_ sounds plausible to you," Jim asked cynically. Leonard merely shrugged, shaking his head in an _I don't know_ fashion. "They had two whole damn weeks and that's the best they could do?"

"Just because something is highly unlikely doesn't mean it's impossible, Jim," Alice finally offered. All she wanted to do was just put the whole mess behind her, finish out the semester strong, and not find herself in another situation of _extreme_ malfunction.

"Don't tell me you're buying this crap," he scoffed. "You said so yourself that it was a bomb."

"And maybe I was wrong," Alice snapped quickly.

"In the four months that we've known you, you've never been wrong, sweetheart," Leonard added softly, taken slightly aback by Jim's anger as well.

"I don't exactly have much experience with explosive ordnance," she argued. "And I'm not sure what critical malfunction sounds either."

"But you did hear something," Jim countered, picking up on her slip. "That's how out knew to take cover, right?"

Alice grimaced unwillingly. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how much of a genius Jim was when he hid it so well behind a carefully constructed, pretty-boy persona. Of course, he caught her mention of hearing something. _Damn it_ , she cursed herself quietly. She was under orders not to disclose any information even after the formal statement issued by Starfleet. It was classified. However, Starfleet didn't count on Jim Kirk managing to weasel out information out of her.

"I don't know what I heard," she said, the tone in her voice all but begging him to stop. _Why can't he just drop it_?

"Come on, Alice," he said disbelievingly, "don't you want to know what happened? Don't you care?"

"No, I don't care, alright?" she bit back, frustrated. "It's not my place to care. We're just cadets, Jim. What do you expect us to do? Solve the case like some junior detectives?"

"How can you sit here and do nothing?" Jim asked in near disgust. "You could have died in that explosion. You'd think you'd at least want to know what or who was really responsible."

Shaking her head, Alice glanced over at Leonard, hoping that maybe he'd be able to help her. He had asked her about that night every now and then for past couple of weeks, and each time she had told him she didn't want to talk about it. The number of times he had asked her about it dwindled, and when she told him no, Leonard wouldn't push it. Unlike Jim.

"Here's a grand idea," Leonard interrupted, "how about we just focus on studying for our finals and finishing out the rest of the semester without any more catastrophes like everyone else."

"I agree with Leon on this one, Jim." Alice piped in.

"Of course you do," he scoffed, annoyed. "You'd rather roll over and show your belly every time something gets even a little bit intimidating."

Alice couldn't help but recoil at that, frowning as she stared at him, mouth agape. She had no idea what was going on with him. It was so unlike him. All she knew was that she no longer wanted to be seated across from Jim. Every inch of him was coiled for a fight, his absurdly blue eyes ice cold and empty except for the hard edge that made him terrifying.

"Jim, that's enough," Leonard warned him quietly.

But Jim just shrugged him off. "You know what, no it's not." Jim's crystal blue eyes held a piercing malice Alice had never witnessed before. It made her heart beat quicken. "Your father is cleaning up this mess, tidying away the truth; and you're doing nothing about it like it doesn't even matter despite that fact you were blown up because of their cover-up in the first place." He chuckled bitterly. "But you didn't get hurt, and you heal quick, so it doesn't matter." His voice took on a dangerous edge as he leaned forward across the table. "But it does matter because maybe next time someone dies."

"Jim—" Leonard growled, but he was cut off.

"Not that we should be surprised you don't care." Jim leaned back in his chair. "After all, what do you expect from someone who was created instead of raised?"

There were a lot of things that ran through Alice's mind after Jim spoke. Anger, understanding, disbelief, resignation; Alice knew what she was: inhuman, augmented. And she knew that she was lesser because of it. But the one thing that tore at her chest was a sense of betrayal and self-loathing that she had expected anything different from Leonard and Jim. There was a reason she didn't tell anyone about her past. What Jim said was the reason she didn't tell anyone. The reminder wasn't necessary when she was perfectly capable of doing so herself.

But Alice didn't say anything as she rose from her chair. She didn't utter a word as she calmly collected her notes and study materials, placing them fluidly into her messenger bag. She didn't look at either of them or speak to either of them as she turned the handle on the study room door and pushed it open gingerly. There was nothing but silence from her as she had a white-knuckle grip on the edge of it and whipped it backwards—

Slamming it with enough force to shatter the glass wall explosively from the vibrations that rippled violently through them. But Alice did not look back as everything behind her crashed to the floor, nor did she care as the cadets who had been furiously studying now stared at her in shock and disbelief as she strode confidently towards the stairwell. The only thing that was coursing through her mind was blood red anger at herself for expecting any different from what the universe—and those who inhabited it—had cruelly taught her: she hadn't been born a human, she wasn't raised like a human, and she'd never be treated as a human for as long as she lived by those who knew the first two truths. And she had been a fool to think otherwise.

If Jim—lighthearted, obnoxiously friendly Jim—couldn't accept her for what she was, wielding it against her at a moment's notice when she didn't respond to social situations as most _normal_ people would then Alice doubted that there was anyone who wouldn't do the same exact thing. Except for maybe Leonard, and Alice couldn't begin to imagine how he must think of her now.

 _Not that we should be surprised you don't care. After all, what do you expect from someone who was created instead of raised?_

It wasn't that she didn't care. Alice did. She cared so much about it that she was terrified for Jim and Leonard, always focusing on everything around them, listening, waiting, all but praying that she didn't miss something and, in the next moment, she would be pulling herself from the rubble, staring down at their mangled corpses.

* * *

"Miss, Miss!" a shrill voice chased after her as Alice stormed through the offices. "You can't go in there!" The secretary was now following her, having to jog every few steps to keep up. "Captain Pike is in a meeting with Admiral Marcus, you can't go in there!"

But Alice didn't pay any mind to the weak willed secretary as she all but tore the door from its hinges as she ripped it open. The noise startled Captain Pike, stopping him mid-sentence as he stared at her, dumbfounded. Admiral Marcus whipped around in his chair to see the determine the source of the noise, equally as confused as Pike was.

"Admiral Marcus, while I have no authority to speak of," Alice said, her voice dangerously cold and breathless as she spoke, "I must insist that you reschedule your meeting for another time. There is something I must speak with my father about urgently."

Marcus smirked knowingly. His daughter had pulled the same stunt on him several times and there was no mistaking the fury of a daughter that was about to tear her father a new one. "I'll make the funeral arrangements for you, Chris," the admiral chuckled, giving Alice a nod in respectful dismissal as he exited the office.

Captain Pike waited for his friend to close the door behind him before he turned to his daughter. He opened his mouth to demand she tell him the reason for her violent intrusion, but Alice was enraged and silenced him before he had a chance to say a single word.

"You honestly think that I would believe a freak malfunction was the cause of the explosion?" she snarled accusingly. "You honestly think that anyone is going to believe that?"

"Whether or not they believe it isn't important," Pike explained flatly, his own voice growing harsher. "It is the truth."

"Like hell it is!" Alice exclaimed, continuing to stand, staring down her father in a bitter rage. "You don't hear spontaneous malfunctions," she argued. "You don't detect trace elements of a chemical compound right before a _random spark_ gets sucked into the air intake and combusts."

"Perhaps you were mistaken," Pike said dismissively, his voice betraying nothing but his own annoyance at her behavior. "There are a number of things in the Science Complex that could have accounted for both the noise and the smell."

"I _wasn't_ mistaken," she growled maliciously. "If I had been, you'd be down one Vulcan Commander and a daughter. Not that you'd care," she echoed. "You're too busy covering Starfleet's ass, helping them hide the truth just like they did for me—"

 _Just like they did with Tarsus IV_ , Alice realized, the sudden understanding stopping her from continuing to yell at her father. _That's why Jim was so angry._ Starfleet had a habit of burying things that reflected poorly on them, and Jim was just as much a victim of this as Alice was. If only knowing this could make her feel better, less damaged and hurt by what he had said.

"You want us to speculate, create a mass panic?" Pike countered, trying to match his daughter's ferocious wrath if he couldn't quell it. "It's for the greater good."

"And just how well do you think that _greater good_ …bullshit will go over when someone dies in the next one?" Alice could all but hear Jim's own rage he had directed towards her creeping into her own voice, and it only served to anger her more. _How dare he say that to me_ , she screamed quietly. _After everything_ —"

"You are way out of line here, Alice!" Pike threatened.

"As your daughter, as a cadet, or as an augmented? Which one takes priority for you?"

"All of them!" he snapped. "You're asking for information that is above your security clearance and could put you in danger. Everything about the incident is on a strictly need-to-know basis for a good reason."

 _Need-to-know basis._..? _When do you not tell the victims of a crime what that crime was_? she thought in a riddle to herself. _When you don't know what the crime was_. "Meaning, you have nothing to share even if you could, "Alice said, her voice growing quieter. "You don't know who set the bomb, do you?"

Her father's silence was enough of an answer.

"Do you know why it was set?"

"No. We don't," Pike finally forced out, giving her information he could easily by court-martialed for, but Alice was his daughter. He couldn't afford to alienate her by continuing to keep her in the dark.

"Do you have any leads at all?" Alice frowned, the rage smoothed over by the fact that she was more at fault here than her father. If he had no information to give, how could he meet her demands for it?

"We have intelligence reports of an underground organization that is hostile to Starfleet and the Federation based out of San Francisco," Pike admitted. "We believe it was them who targeted the Science Complex, but who the members are or why they would target that building… we just don't know."

"Have they made any demands or taken credit for the bombing?"

"No."

Alice crossed her arms. "Then this is all just speculation then."

"Speculation on good intelligence," Pike corrected her.

"Speculation on hearsay," she corrected him, turning to leave in a less violent manner than when she had arrived.

"Alice," Pike said, stopping her before she could turn the handle on the door. "Please stay out of this. For me. I don't want you getting hurt."

But Alice didn't say anything as she left his office, her mind already coming up with various plans of how to infiltrate the Science Complex without getting caught by the constant patrols in place to keep curious and mischievous cadets out.

Jim had been so adamant about doing something, and that's just what she was going to do.

* * *

It was the fourth time Leonard had called her since Alice had destroyed the study room walls, the soft chiming from her pocket drawing her out of her thoughts, breaking her concentration from the task at hand. It was the fourth time he had called her, and the fourth time she silenced her comm. unit, only this time, Alice finally turned it off. There was a pang of guilt in her heavy heart as she did so. She didn't doubt that he was calling her out of concern for her well-being. Leonard's genuine kindness and compassion for her only made it that much more difficult for her to maintain the complete slice that she had instilled between herself and the two of them.

Alice pulled the hood of her jacket over her head, tugging it down so that it just covered her eyes enough to obscure her face should someone catch a glimpse of her but not enough to obscure her vision before she ran out from her hiding place, quickly hopping the barricade before the next set of security personnel came by. Keeping to the shadows, Alice was able to sneak inside, her movements barely registering sound as she slipped inside the scarred north wing,

The Science Complex had always been much more ominous and foreboding in the dark and it was even more so now that it had been partially destroyed. The crunch of glass underfoot as she glided through the building was the only noise within the broken walls. And this was only the lobby, nowhere near the center of the blast. If it had been, there was a chance that even Alice wouldn't have been able to survive it.

Soot and residue from the fire covered nearly every inch of the elevator shaft, particles that dislodged themselves tickling Alice's nose as they drifted downwards. Looking up, Alice could see the bowing out of the shaft from the explosion along with several large pieces of metal that had either been torn off or shot into the walls.

Alice observed her surroundings, plotting out her next move. The lobby clearly wasn't where the bomb had been set off, meaning it hadn't been the target. Purely out of comical behavior, she very nearly reached out and pressed the button to summon the elevator. She couldn't help but smirk as she realized it was something that Jim would do.

With one hand gripping the entrance to the shaft, Alice carefully swung herself inside, her feet just barely having enough room on the seam between floors. Turning her feet sideways in an attempt to give herself more stable footing, she let go and braced herself against the wall shimmying further along it. _This would be easier if elevators still required cables_ , Alice grumbled. Then she would be able to just ascend using them instead of having to find a way to climb up 15 feet of smooth, rounded metal walls to the next seam one more floor up.

It wouldn't have been such an intimidating distance if she were taller, but at 5'9" she was just over being one-third of the height she needed to clear.

Looking up threw Alice slightly off balance. There was no way she would be able to jump straight up and grab the edge, not without knocking herself backward in the effort or scraping against the wall and reducing how high she could travel due to the friction.

 _No. I'm going to need to find another way_ , she thought, and as she glanced around, careful not to lose any of her precious balance, she found it.

The seam between floors wrapped around the entire elevator shaft. She could jump towards the seam behind her. But once she started moving, she couldn't stop. If she killed her momentum, she'd be stranded on the seam with no way to pull herself up and get her feet on the ledge without losing her balance and falling.

Carefully with slow grace, Alice turned herself around so that she was no longer facing the wall, her eyes flickering up and down as she planned out her next five steps. After that, she would have to just react, her movements instinctual. And that was just fine, it was what she had been trained to do between the tests at the facility. All she had to do was just make it up without unintentionally coming down.

Alice became still, tensing her body calmly before she launched herself from the ledge, using all of her strength since her accuracy would be affected by her poor footing. Her hands met the next seam for the floor above, her feet coming against the wall louder than Alice would have liked, but she couldn't bother herself with concern as the soles of her shoes gripped the wall enough to propel her upward, keeping up the momentum so she could push herself off the wall once more, jumping towards the next seam opposite of her.

Strong hands and surefootedness kept Alice going as she climbed her way up the smooth walled elevator shaft, going from seam to seam. Occasionally, she would have to clamber over to a different side when there were gaping holes where sections of panel had been blown out or where shrapnel had lodged itself; but as she continued upward, she encountered it much more frequently and found it to be useful, giving her an extra foothold or handhold even if it did slice her hands open, the blood trickling down her arms as she hung onto ledges.

Roughly ten floors up from the lobby, Alice finally found the elevator. It was a warped and mangled corpse of its former self that had been battered so greatly by the explosion it was twisted sideways within the shaft, creating an effective road block lodged in her path. As she drew closer to it, Alice could see that it was nearly completely black with soot, charred to a crisp.

 _It might have been what delivered the bomb_ , Alice thought, fully aware of just how cliché it was as she reached out to it, grasping the edge where the doors would have been if they hadn't been blown out.

Her movements were slow and calculated as she climbed hand over hand to the center of the elevator, hanging by her fingertips, the potential energy begging for her to be dragged down into the abyss that was beneath her. As she pulled herself up, biceps flexing with her quietly hidden, augmented strength, the elevator groaned weakly at the extra, moving weight. A soft hiss escaped Alice's pursed lips as she carelessly sliced her arm open on a shard of glass from where the doors had been as she hauled herself inside.

Alice reached for the flashlight she had in her pocket, turning it on since the industrial lights placed on every floor by the investigative team couldn't reach her in the elevator. She began to search for any indication of explanation for what happened, moving with extremely slow grace, painfully aware of the metal crying out in the unstable elevator.

The walls were pitch black from the flame, and what was left of the controls were warped passed recognition. Small flecks of shrapnel infected the wall directly across from the entrance, and the upper and lower portions of the floor and ceiling immediately surrounding the entrance were the cleanest portions, clean being a relative term.

 _There are no reverse shadows from the bomb being planted in the elevator on the walls, ceiling, or flooring,_ Alice documented, _and the shrapnel is only on the side opposite of where the door was_. _The elevator is warped and convoluted, but it isn't warped outwards, just dislodged._ Alice very carefully stood on the tips of her toes and reached for a piece of the shrapnel, pulling it out from the wall as the elevator creaked in protest, moaning like an old ship. _The bomb was placed on the door with some sort of adhesive_ , she hypothesized, _and positioned so that the blast was directed outwards from the doors. Meaning that this shrapnel was from the explosive device, and not the elevator itself_. Alice tucked the piece of metal into her pocket before she cautiously gripped the edge of an opening in the wall of the elevator, a viable option of getting around it and continuing up.

Protests against her groaned loudly as Alice hauled herself on top of the elevator, making her slightly nervous. Not for her well-being, though. She could easily make to the next ledge without any trouble, but if the elevator fell now, it would clamor all the way down, alerting everyone in the area to her presence. Getting caught trespassing made her nervous.

Alice was careful in where she placed her weight as she inched over to the other side gingerly, slowly reaching for the nearest ledge and pulling herself up, reopening the cuts on her hands she had received from the sheered metal handholds she had used earlier.

Blood trickled delicately down her wrists and onto her palms as Alice climbed higher as she went from hanging, to gripping, to standing and balancing. The higher she went the more she became dirty from the soot and ash the scorched the walls, ledges, and shrapnel that served to help her ascend, tarnishing her skin and clothing as she scraped against it, even managing to smudge her face somehow.

And finally, she stopped climbing.

There was a gap in the charred walls about the size of an elevator, and Alice realized that this was her floor, leaping to the exit _hole_ where the doors once more, catching her leg on the bottom edge of the exit, creating a new gash as she caught herself on it.

The floor was almost completely unrecognizable as she surveyed the area. It was as if she were walking through a construction site, the area was so bare and unfurnished. Only when she pressed forward, passing through the hallway that she found scorched remembrances of tables, chairs, and desks.

 _Soot, ash, scorch marks and charred remains_ , she surveyed, trailing her fingers along the walls as she walked further into the depths of the floor. _Why create an incendiary bomb? Their archaic, unreliable, and highly ineffective. Cobalt, fusion, plasma, trilithium, hell a warp core would make for a better explosive._ Alice then realized just how thoroughly covered she was in the residue from the bomb. _It was to make a statement. To make a scene, to be seen as the crime was committed._ _It was meant to be heard_.

 _But was the message?_ Alice wondered as she continued forward as if she knew exactly where she was going. And she did, only realizing it when she came to the door.

Alice reached out and scraped off the ash that coated the plaque on the wall, tracing her hand over the letters: _Commander Spock_.

* * *

The sound of glass shattering was now desensitized to Alice as she rounded the corner began to approach Joe's bar on her way back to her apartment. A man was thrown through the window, crashing to the ground roughly on the shards.

Two men followed him through, dragging someone out with them and shoving him towards the fallen figure. It was only as one of the aggressors threw a punch at the person still standing that Alice realized who it was getting their asses handed to them: Leonard and Jim.

Leonard staggered back as the larger aggressor caught him on the jaw, recoiling at the force and pain, nearly tripping over Jim who was still struggling to pick himself out of the glass either because of the drinks or the blows that were landed before he made it through the window.

Working her way up twenty floors in an elevator shaft had blown off some of the rage and agony that had coursed through her earlier, but guiltily, Alice was glad that she was now given an opportunity to hit someone, even if it was for the benefit of Jim Kirk.

A piercing whistle caught the two aggressors' attention right before Alice caught the larger one in the chest with her knee, crashing into him from a full on sprint, jumping at the last minute so that her knee could connect at the sweet spot right in the center. She could feel the air forced out of his lungs by the blow and hear the creaking of his bones as they fractured.

The larger one was forced back, staggering and wheezing as Alice deflected the blow from the smaller guy who threw a careless punch more out of surprise by her intervention than intent. Her fists quickly connected with his ribs, giving way to her force with the soft cracking of twigs accompanying them as they fractured.

With a non-devastating kick meant to move and not _severely_ injure, Alice knocked the smaller one away from her so that she could grab the larger one by the arm as he charged her, using his momentum to flip him over her as she ducked and pushed him, tossing him easily to the ground on the other side.

He landed heavily on the ground, heaving in both pain and frustration as Alice caught his buddie's crazy haymaker with one hand, twisting his arm so that it buckled behind him, continuing on until there was a sickening snap followed by pained screams.

Forcing the smaller one to the ground, allowing him to clutch his broken arm, Alice blocked the next two blows from the big guy with her forearms, ducking under a third before she gripped him by his shoulders and driving her knee into his crotch, delaying for half a second before she caught his nose with her forehead, a tell-tale crunch chasing after the movement.

Blood poured from the larger man's newly broken nose as Alice dragged him by his shirt and propelled him towards his friend who was still laying on the ground, moaning pitifully over his arm.

"Psycho bitch!" the larger man coughed out, nasally and pained. "You broke my nose!"

"And I'll break more than your nose and his arm unless you leave," Alice warned her voice cold, but not unpleasant. "Now."

The larger man hesitated, still cupping his nose before he reached down and dragged his friend to his feet. "Get up, moron. Let's go. This bar sucked anyway," he said to his friend quickly, trying to hide how damaged his pride was.

As Alice watched them leave, she could feel the hot and sticky blood pooling in her still clenched hands, slipping slightly between her fingers. She had reopened the wounds she sustained earlier, much to her own annoyance. And adding to her annoyance, she could feel the eyes of Jim and Leonard boring into her.

"Joe," she called out, finally relaxing from her defensive stance, "go ahead and put the bill for the window on my tab. These two idiots certainly won't be able to afford it." The last portion of her statement came out as a slight growl.

Jim looked like shit. His face was broken and bloody again, as if he had to go out and wreck after it just healed from his last fight. With torn clothes that had all kinds of glass and sticky liquid clinging to his jacket and matted in his hair, he finally managed to haul himself from the ground, glass crunching underfoot as he did so. Alice couldn't tell if he was the one groaning or if it was his body that was groaning in protest against his movements. But it didn't take much for her to realize that Jim was completely wasted, almost belligerently so.

Leonard didn't look nearly as bad as Jim. He was sporting a black eye that was turning darker by the second and a busted lip, crimson red trailing down to his chin. His hair was messed up, giving him an almost feral look. Clearly, he had joined the fight only when Jim started to lose, coming to the aid of his friend. _My friend too_ , she remembered, eyes flickering from Jim to Leonard, and then back again as all three of them waited tensely for someone to make the next move.

 _He's my friend_ , she repeated, a little more conviction, and while he may have pissed her off with his insensitively cruel insults, he was still her friend. Because she certainly knew how to pick 'em.

"Come on," Alice sighed, relenting at being the better person. "You can patch yourselves up at my place."

Leonard and Jim regarded one another momentarily before Leonard, "That's very kind of you sweetheart."

Alice met Leonard's hazel eyes, calm and soothing before she turned her attention to Jim. "Can you walk?" she asked quietly.

"Well enough," Jim grimaced, placing a hand over his ribs.

She nodded faintly in understanding before leading the way back to her apartment, attempting to use the ends of the sleeves on her jacket to keep some pressure on the wounds on her hands and stop the bleeding as she walked. Alice knew that Jim would have a hard time keeping up with her, but she wasn't expecting Leonard to catch up with her, figuring that he'd stay back to keep an eye on Jim.

"Are you alright, Alice?" he asked, his voice low enough for Jim to just barely catch the words. "You didn't answer when I tried to get a hold of you."

There was no mistaking the honest concern in his gently gruff voice and the guilt she had felt before her ascension came back with a vengeance as Alice allowed herself to get caught up in his caring gaze.

"I'm well enough," Alice echoed, her answer being ambiguous yet truthful. "And I turned my communicator off."

Alice wished selfishly for a moment that Leonard would stop being so understanding, looking at her with such warmth in his forested hazel eyes. "Alright," he breathed, continuing to watch her. "Sweetheart, about what happened—"

"Don't bother," she quickly cut him off. "I'm fine, Bones."

"You're clearly not," Leonard insisted, and by the slight twitch in his fingertips, Alice could tell he wanted nothing more than to reach out to her. To reassure or stop her was something she couldn't tell, though.

"You should go check on Jim," she tactlessly changed the subject. "Make sure he doesn't die in some ditch."

"If that's what you want," he said, the warmth of his eyes all but begging her to give up her cold and distant behavior, if only for him.

And it almost worked. Alice hesitated before responding, "It is right now."

Leonard nodded, slowing his pace so that Jim could catch up to him and allowing Alice to walk ahead of them alone. Hearing them walk behind her, Jim with his slightly labored breathing and one of them favoring one of their legs, it was very difficult for Alice to stay mad at them. Concern gnawed hungrily at the edges of her anger, eating away at it until it was almost nonexistent. Was she a fool for having taken such great offense to what Jim had said to her?

Alice held the door for them once they had finally reached her apartment before she squeezed passed them and retrieved her medical supplies from the counter beneath the kitchen island, tossing it onto the counter before digging out some gauze and antibacterial solution for herself.

It was the first time either of them had seen her in any other lighting aside from dim streetlight, and both were taken slightly aback by her messy appearance. Alice was covered in soot and ash, smudging her face, chest, and clothing; and as she shrugged off her ruined jacket, they were privileged to see the gash on her arm still oozing from being reopened during the fight and the blood that stained her hands.

"What the hell happened to you?" Leonard asked, bewildered.

Alice ran her hands under the water of her faucet, taking a seat next to it on the counter, medical supplies placed beside her. Pouring the antibacterial solution over her hands, wincing as it stung a little, she finally deigned to answer. "I went…climbing."

"In a mine?" Leonard forced Jim to sit down, getting a slight grumble in protest from him, but not much more as Leonard went about picking the glass out of Jim's face and arm.

Careful not to agitate either of the wounds on her hands, Alice wound the gauze around them in a simple bandage not bothering to look up at either of them as she kept her movements cautious yet quick. She did have somewhere she needed to be, recalling the angered and annoyed voices from both her father and Commander Spock as she insisted that they meet tonight in her father's office.

"In an elevator shaft," Alice finally admitted, her voice matter-of-factly. "One that had been a victim of an explosion. I only had to go 20 floors up in it, though." She motioned to her hands. "Sliced 'em open on some of the shrapnel and sheared metal inside of."

"That also how you got the one on your arm and leg," Leonard growled protectively. If Jim didn't need his help, Alice knew he would have been by her side in that very instant.

"The one on my arm is from what remained of the glass doors of the elevator I had to crawl through," she answered, using a nearby cup to pour water over said wound, cleaning it up but not bothering to patch it up. It was mostly healed anyhow. "The one on my leg," she continued, placing her foot on the counter and rolling up the hem of her pants to get a look at it, "was from trying to get out of the destroyed exit on the 20th floor." It had healed some, but every step served to reopen parts of the long gash, causing it to continue to ooze and slowing down the healing process.

Her eyes locked on Jim, "I guess it's a good thing I heal quick, huh?" And she wouldn't deny the slight twinge of pleasure it brought her to see him wince before she began to wrap up her leg.

Jim couldn't hold her chaotically intense gaze for very long. "Did you find anything?" he asked, finally speaking to her, his voice gruff and his words slurred.

"I did," Alice answered, sliding off the counter now that she was done patching herself up. She walked over to a nearby closet and grabbed another jacket to replace the one she had to throw out it was so torn up from getting snagged in the elevator shaft. "Lock up once you're done bleeding in my apartment?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she went for the door.

Leonard finally tore himself from Jim's side, almost causing him to fall now that he was no longer supported by the doctor. "Alice, stop!" he commanded, grabbing her arm.

The look of shock on his face when she didn't pull away from him or react negatively to his abrupt and forceful touch was almost humorous. Alice had grown to trust him, and he clearly wasn't used to not having to treat her like she was made of glass yet when it came to touching her.

Alice raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to get on with it. "About what happened this morning—" Alice interrupted him with a roll of her eyes. "No, listen!" he snapped, his grip on her hardening. "You don't understand—"

"I do, actually." She refused to let Leonard apologize for Jim. "I understand. On December 8th, 2246, Starfleet Command issued a statement in regards to what they found on Tarsus IV in the wake of responding to a call for aid received from the colony in regards to their food supply," she explained informatively. "Upon arriving they were witnesses to the horror of mass graves where half of the population now resided in order to preserve the remainder of their supplies, executed the day before. Today's December 8th."

Her eyes moved off of Leonard and on to Jim, who may have been dazed in his overly drunken state, but he wasn't confused. He stared at her with a mix of bewilderment and horror. Unquestionably, it was the reason he had gone drinking with Leonard.

"And I get why that makes you angry, Jim," she addressed him. "I understand why you're angry." Alice tugged on her jacket violently. "I may not have been born, I may have been created in a lab, and I may not have been raised by a family, but that doesn't mean I _feel_ any less than you do." Alice's cold blue was harrowing as she met Jim's hazy glacier blues. "We're both victims of a cover story, Jim. And you can apologize to me when you're sober."

As Alice stalked out of her apartment, careful to slam her door gently enough not to damage her home, she hoped that Jim felt like guilty for what he had said to her; and the idea that he did made her feel so much better. His words had hurt her if they could hurt him as well… Alice would be selfishly satisfied.

If only she could realize that, that desire and feeling she was having right now was one that was just as human as she was.

~~.O.~~

So, I didn't think you guys would want many chapters over the same thing and I decided to do all this plot stuff in one big one. That way we could get back to Leonard and/or Jim and/or Spock instead of this Alice-centric stuff.

Anyway, please let me know what you think.

I continue to love every second of your time and support as I continue onwards.

Thank you for reading! :)


	19. Apology

Jim's head throbbed as he finally managed to wake up from an alcohol induced coma, the thunderous pounding in against his skull a reminder of just how much he had drunk the night before: enough so that he could barely remember what happened last night.

Leonard had been there, having let Jim take him up on his offer to drink about it. And there were a couple of assholes that decided to loudly protest Starfleet and obnoxious cadets. Someone got in a fight, and as he tried to sit up, Jim realized _he_ was the one that had gotten into a fight. And then Alice had shown up at some point too.

 _Alice_ , Jim remembered. _Shit_ , he hissed, both in pain from whatever damage he had received from the fight that flared up when he moved and as he remembered with perfect clarity what he had said to her before the drinking, only hazily remembering her coming to his and Bones' rescue.

 _Not that we should be surprised you don't care. After all, what do you expect from someone who was created instead of raised?_ Why the hell had he said that? Well, he knew why. It was December 8th, four thousand people had been needlessly slaughtered the night before, and he and eight other kids had been witnesses to it. Jim could still hear the screams, remember the way their blood completely soaked the ground beneath their bodies…

But why had he taken it out on Alice?

Jim knew the answer to that one, though, too. Alice had just seemed too…accepting of the smoke Starfleet was blowing up their asses in response to smoke that followed a bomb-like explosion. She had been so ready to put it behind her, and he didn't understand how she could just sit back and let them cover up what happened when she had been a victim and when her own father was involved. It didn't make any sense to him. Alice should have been angry, demanding answers, up at arms.

She should have behaved like less of a victim.

The realization that, that is what had been bother him finally struck home. Alice was incredibly strong, that much was coming back to him as the memory of last night bubbled to the surface, no longer lost in the confusion of alcohol; but she always acted like a victim, shy and timid, not taking any risks. And he knew that it wasn't her fault, that he shouldn't blame her for it; but it always made him think of his own past when she behaved that way. It made him remember the most obvious truth Jim always buried behind his aloof and reckless façade: he was a victim of tragic fate as well.

Casting those horrible thoughts back into their hole, Jim tried to sit up, pain erupting from seemingly everywhere as he did so. The pain was almost enough to distract him from the fact that he had no idea where he was.

It was definitely a dorm room, but it wasn't _his_ dorm room. It was far too spacious and clean to be his. Plus, it lacked the three other roommates that would glare at him just to let him know that they believed the only reason he got in was because of his father and not because he deserved it or earned it as they _obviously_ had.

"Don't be so dramatic," came a caringly scornful voice. "You only nearly passed out from alcohol poisoning." Apparently, Jim had been groaning as he struggled to move loud enough for the Bones to overhear him.

"Where am I?" he grimaced, shielding his eyes as Bones intentionally drew back the curtains to let the late morning sun in.

"You are currently in _my_ dorm, in _my_ bed," Bones growled. "You're welcome for that by the way, not that you gave me much choice. There was no way in hell you were gonna make it back to your own dorm."

Jim swung his legs over the bed. He still had on his jeans and t-shirt but his jacket and boots were missing, and there was no way he had been in any condition to have gotten that comfortable last night. A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. It was the subtle things that Bones did that made it so obvious his cynical, blunt, and sarcastic overtones were just a way to hide how much he truly cared for people. As a doctor, it was probably a defense mechanism to keep things from hurting so much should the worst come to pass.

"Thanks, Bones," Jim said earnestly, giving the grumpy man a small smile as he looked at him. "I mean it. Thank you."

But such open honesty was far too much for him, and Bones shrugged Jim's gratitude off with a roll of his eyes. "You remember anything from yesterday?"

Jim scoffed. There were some parts from he wished he could forget since he couldn't take 'em back. "I remember being an asshole, taking you up on that offer to drink about my shitty life, uh…starting a fight, kind of, then Alice finishing it, and…" he trailed off. "Something about an elevator shaft and you being mad at Alice for being…hurt, I think. Then Alice knew why I was an asshole who went drinking." That's when he realized the most important part. "Alice was _pissed_."

"And she had every right to be," Bones sneered. "And just to let you know, if it comes down to choosing between you or her in the divorce, I choose her."

"Thanks, Bones," Jim groaned, shaking his head.

To say that Bones had been angry with Jim after Alice _broke_ the study room, would have been an understatement; furious didn't even scratch the surface, and livid was only partially close to the true depths of his rage. It was only after they had gotten out of there, Bones not pausing a beat from cursing Jim the whole way while the other cadets stared at them as they quickly made their way out of the shattered room, that Jim had finally told Bones the significance of yesterday.

Bones had stopped mid-storm and just stared at him for a moment, letting it sink in a moment or simply letting himself cool down, Jim hadn't been sure which, before finally finishing off his fury induced rant by adding, _"That still didn't give you the right to be an asshole to her_."

And Jim understood what the doctor meant. He had a _be-an-asshole-to-everyone_ free card as far as Bones had been concerned yesterday—it was probably the reason Bones had even backed him up in the fight as well—but Alice was off limits. It was just a shame that he hadn't known about that limit until it was too late.

"Damn it," Jim hissed in frustration, cradling his head in his hands. "Do you think she'll forgive me?"

"She shouldn't forgive you, as far as I'm concerned," Bones growled in his soft, southern way as he quickly flicked on a news broadcast on the dorm's private terminal. "But she seems to like you, so she probably already has."

Jim scoffed lightly, "She seems to like you too, Bones."

"Yeah." There was a small smirk so faint and quick that Jim almost missed it. "Must've had a momentary lapse in judgment when she met the two of us on the shuttle."

"That or there's something about having someone nearly throw up on you that just brings people together," Jim teased him.

Bones looked as though he was about to get Jim back with his own witty comment, but something caught his attention. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed in monotonous surprise.

Jim slowly stood up and moved so that he stood beside his friend, now able to see the broadcast that had taken Bones by surprise. And Bones had certainly said it.

"… _We are pleased to inform you that we have successfully identified and apprehended the individuals that were responsible for the threats against Starfleet Academy personnel and the explosion in the north wing of the Starfleet Science Complex_ ," Admiral Marcus, said from behind a podium, dressed in full ceremonial regalia. His uniform almost as commanding as his voice. " _A group of single-minded individuals, calling themselves 'Manifest' has been identified and taken into custody for the attack on our prestigious academy. Their ideals are those of a single species, humans, being superior to all others, and became hostile towards Starfleet as we have made efforts to be more inclusive over these past few years._ "

" _This group goes against everything that Starfleet and the Federation stand for, and we will do everything within the bounds of the law to dissolve 'Manifest' and all other groups that share similar ideals and threaten the sanctity of our doctrine_." The admiral's voice was a commanding growl as he spoke. " _It is only through diversity and cooperation that we can fully achieve our true potential as a united galaxy, a diversity that has already led to the apprehension of a mindlessly hostile group._ " Admiral Marcus' tone became much more pleasant. _"It is only through the hard work of both the investigative team, police, and our own cadets that we were able to locate those responsible for the attack and bring them to Justice…_

At the word _cadet_ , Jim finally peeled his eyes off of the Admiral and surveyed the others that were in the background. There was Captain Pike, standing closest to the Admiral; then came a Commander, the one Jim recognized had been the other victim of the blast; and at the very end, in cadet reds, stood Alice.

"Holy shit."

* * *

It was hard not to miss Alice seated at the bar. That ebony hair that trailed down her back and her slim figure were hard to miss in its exotic beauty. And as Jim approached, he felt a preposterous feeling: nervous. Jim never felt nervous, and certainly never around women. He was a smooth talker, one who always knew what to say, yet as he drew closer to Alice, he wasn't completely sure what to say. If anything, he half expected her to get up and leave once she saw it was him and not Bones she was meeting.

Bones hadn't been all too pleased with the idea of tricking Alice to Joe's under the pretense of meeting him so that Jim could have a chance to talk to her and apologize. It was only when Jim spun it as not lying, but merely arriving late and Jim coincidentally being in the bar at the same time that Bones had finally relented; though in all honesty, it was probably only because Jim kept pestering him about it and not because he was convinced that Bones had agreed.

 _The worst that can happen is that she kicks your ass_ , Jim told himself as he finally worked up the nerve to sit next to her, sliding smoothly onto the barstool next to her, his body tense and his breath held as he did so.

Dry laughter escaped her lips as she looked over at him, "I had a feeling it was really you that would be meeting me here."

"Was it that obvious?" Jim asked, his voice forcefully light and playful.

"Mhm," Alice hummed, a small smirk as she took a swig from her bottle.

Jim frowned. "Hard cider? What are you, twelve?" he avoided the reason he was here, deflecting it away with humor.

"No, I'm someone who likes a little variety," she played back. "Vodka gets dull after a while."

"You're clearly not a true alcoholic then," Jim smirked.

"Well, I'm nowhere near on yours and Bones' level, that's for sure." Her eyes caught his, and Jim always found him cursing them for their intensity. It was an unfair advantage. They always seemed to undo him. It was like they were goading him into getting to the point of tricking her here.

"I saw you on the news today," he stammered, kind of getting there but not really.

Alice raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile on her face. "Was that speech as dry as I thought it was?" she asked lightheartedly. "I fell asleep about half-way through."

"Oh yeah, that speech was horrible," he said, "but, uh, that's not why I brought it up." Alice tilted her head slightly, urging him to keep going. "You, uh, figured it out, huh?"

"Not really," she smiled. "More like sped things up."

"Still you… you know," Jim gave a wave of his hand to finish his sentence as if Alice should know what he was talking about.

Instead, she frowned. "Jim, if you're trying to be coherent, you should know that you're failing."

"I know!" he groaned, letting his head drop, nearly smacking against the counter. "It's just talking to you is so difficult right now."

"I'm sorry?" Alice offered wryly.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say, it's just not coming at all." The frown remained, but when Jim looked at her again, there was a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Listen, I was an absolute ass yesterday—no worse than that; and I might have had a good excuse for it, but it doesn't excuse what I said to you. So… I'm sorry, for what I said."

What Jim wasn't expecting was the laughter that sang from Alice. "That has got to be the absolute worst apology I have ever received in my life," she managed between fits of laughing.

"Forget it then," Jim growled, clearly thinking she was laughing at him for expecting forgiveness and not.

"No, no, no, no," Alice quickly said, pulling Jim back down into his seat as he tried to leave out of mortification. "Come back." Her smile was inviting and true. "Of course I forgive you, Jim. You're my friend." Mischief gleamed in the gold of her eyes. "You've never done this before, have you?"

"What, make a fool of myself?" Jim joked, relieved that he had royally screwed things up as bad as he thought. "I do that all the time."

"Apologize," she corrected him gently.

"I've honestly haven't been around too many people where I care if I hurt them," he shrugged. And that was the unfortunate truth.

"Well, Jim, Friendship 101 states that no matter how mad you might make me, you're still my friend," Alice explained as if she were speaking to a child, "and I'll forgive you for whatever it is you did."

"Yeah, I uh…" Jim smirked, "I think I missed that class on Tarsus."

Alice hummed in amusement. "I didn't exactly take it in the facility either."

Jim scoffed lightly at their dark humor. "And you weren't mad," he corrected her. "You were _pissed_. Did you forget the room you broke?"

There was that smile, quiet and timid, but no less in its brightness as it lit up her face. "I guess it's a good thing I find your obnoxious charm so endearing, huh?"

"You think I'm charming?" Jim teased her, leaning in _obnoxiously_ close to her.

But Alice didn't slide away or look uncomfortable as he would have expected. Instead, she jokingly winced, hissing playfully in regret, "Can I take it back?"

"Nope, too late," he smirked, causing Alice to merely shake her head in fondness of him. "Oh!" he remembered. "You know, I got you something in case my apology was worse than I thought it was going to be."

"Apologies can be worse than that one?" Alice teased him.

"Ha, ha," Jim forced out as he dug into his pockets for what he had purchased earlier, hoping the shiny object would appease her. "Here," he grumbled, though he couldn't keep the smile off of his face.

Her laughter was a sweet honey, gold with its mirth as she couldn't help but laugh near uncontrollably as she reached for the item he had placed on the counter. In her hands she held a silver star, the edges rounded and imprinted in the center was the word _sheriff_.

"You're kidding," Alice finally managed.

"Well, you did solve the case," Jim said, a wolfish grin on his face.

Alice sighed as her she finally caught her breath. "It's perfect," she said, quickly pinning it to her shirt. The sight of it sent her into a more controlled fit of laughter, though, as if she couldn't believe Jim was that big of a dork.

"Where on earth did you get this?" she asked incredulously. "Is there some poor little kid crying because some big bad cadet stole his toy?"

Jim played offended, "I'm an asshole, Alice, not a monster."

"Good to know," she smirked, chuckling faintly at his demeanor.

"So…" he dragged out, awkwardly. "Are _we_ good?"

Alice huffed in amusement, "Yeah, Jim. We're good." She took a casual sip from her bottle. "You ever talk to me like that again and I'm likely to break your arm, though."

"I ever talk like that to you again, and I'll fuckin' present," Jim said gruffly before swiping Alice's bottle from her hand, not knowing that she let him and taking a gulp.

"Hey!" she cried out, playfully swatting his arm. "That was mine."

"Yeah, well you can let me buy you another one."

She raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. "Jim Kirk, you know I don't let anyone buy me drinks."

"You've let Bones buy you drinks before," he argued, enjoying the soft flush of her cheeks as she became slightly flustered. It was clear that Bones and Alice both had a thing for each other, it was just they were the last people to know about it, clearly.

"That's because he doesn't come on to me nearly as much as you do," she countered.

"So he has come on to you," Jim pushed, smirking devilishly as he took advantage of her slip up.

"That's not what I—"

"Who's coming on to who now?" came a familiarly gruff voice from behind, Jim quickly spun around on his swivel chair, enjoying both the spin and the near perfect timing on Bones' part.

"You're coming onto you Alice apparently," Jim grinned.

Bones balked his expression flickering to shock for just a moment before he regained composure. "I must have been drunk," he offered quickly.

Alice frowned playfully, "You mean you don't think I'm pretty enough to come on to?" she teased.

"No! That's not—" he the glared at Jim. "I hate you."

"Me?" Jim asked in a mocking sense of disbelief, thoroughly enjoying the exasperation in his friend's eyes. "What'd I do?"

"Start it, no doubt," he growled seriously before taking a seat next to Jim. "Anyway, I'm sorry I'm late, sweetheart. Some idiot decided to play chicken with a tree and I got stuck in surgery."

Raised eyebrows made it painfully obvious that she wasn't buying his excuse for a second. "Uh huh, and Jim just happened to walk into the bar as I was waiting for you."

"I came in to drink about how awful I felt for what I said yesterday," Jim offered to aid the excuse."

"I honestly had no idea that Jim was even here until he started talking," Bones added quickly, "then it was kind of hard not to notice him."

"Gee, thanks, Bones," Jim frowned.

"Don't mention it, kid."

"See, it's the times that you call me a kid that make me realize just how old you are," he teased.

"Yeah? Well, it's the times you call me old that make me want to stick you with everything I know you're allergic to," Bones argued back, his voice lighthearted and playful even if his face was twisted into a soft sneer.

"Do I have to put you two it time-out?" Alice interrupted, laughter creeping into her voice.

"Hey, he started it," Jim quickly placed blame.

"I started—you're the one who started it!" Bones blamed right back.

"Children, please," Alice chuckled. "You're starting to ruin a perfectly good evening for drinking."

"Sorry," Jim offered in his most teasing sincerity.

"Yeah, sorry," Bones added quietly, waving bartender down.

It was as Joe took their orders and began pouring their drinks that Bones finally asked the most important question that was a precursor of how the rest of their drunken conversation and slightly obnoxious fun would go for the entirety of the night.

"Is that a sheriff's badge?"

~~.O.~~

Remember kids, there's no ship better than friendship. ;)

Anyway, I really wanted to play said friendship angle in this chapter and so I did.

Also, in case you hadn't picked it up, I'm trying to run the schedule for the Academy more like a college would if it had a ROTC section (officer training for American military) where it still follows a college schedule but is more specialized in the military aspect.

Basically, that means we are at the end of the fall semester somewhere in the middle of December with this chapter if you haven't been able to keep up whit my random mention of days, weeks, and months passing by.

And as always, please let me know what you think. You guys are a wonderful audience and I continue to enjoy every second of your support.

Until next chapter. :)


	20. Percentile

"Trying to self-diagnose?" came the all too familiar teasing innocence of Alice's melodic voice as she sunk into the couch beside him, her hair tickling his face gently as she rested her head on his shoulder, continuing to read the article he had opened on his PADD without his permission.

"Hilarious," Leonard responded sarcastically, though the smile on his face was honest as he tilted his head ever so slightly, his cheek resting on her forehead. _It was pretty good_ , he admitted. The comment very nearly making him laugh.

"Well, why else would you be reading an article about alcoholism now that we've started final exams?" she teased him gently, the gold mischief sparkling amongst the green and blue landscape of her eyes.

"Maybe I _am_ studying for a final," he offered, keeping the truth just out of reach.

"That would be very interesting because I'm pretty sure you said something about how there's no point in studying now since you either know it or you don't," she continued, her voice a soft and playful hum dancing around him. It was dizzying.

"Did I say that?" Leonard asked in muffled disbelief, not looking up from the article, continuing this little game they were having.

"Yes, you did," Alice answered, jabbing a finger into his ribs playfully, causing him to shift quickly away from her prodding.

"I don't remember saying that," he argued gently.

"Leon," she breathed whiningly.

Leonard finally looked up from the article, gazing down at the woman that was leaning against him, the warmth of her body bleeding into his own. It was remarkable that he had someone so beautiful on his arm once more, someone who was as fond of him in a similar way that he was fond of her. He admired her. Her quiet teasing and innocent prodding were a few of the things he was growing to love.

"It's an article from a…colleague of mine wrote in regards to replacing the addictive properties of the neurotransmitters caused by alcohol with a supplemental drug that functions the same way," he explained candidly. "This drug, however, would curb the addictive properties caused by alcohol and replace them without any of the negative side effects, allowing the patient to no longer be dependent on alcohol, essentially stopping the addiction." If it were anyone else, he would have just given a vague, half answer. Not having to worry that he lost her interest or her understanding as he spoke was something he often worried he took for granted when he broke out the medical terminology.

Her intense eyes flickered as she read the words on the screen he held. "Is it a proposal or were there studies conducted?" she asked in genuine curiosity.

"A proposal for funding to conduct a study," Leonard answered. "He asked me to look it over for him."

She scrolled through the article, and Leonard had to stifle his amused laughter as she took control of his PADD. "I almost forgot that you hold the record for most funding granted to a single doctor for research," she mused, scanning through it quickly. "He switches tenses here."

His eyes followed where she was pointing. "Oh, thank you," he said, quickly making a note on the document.

" _Injecting stem cells into conduit valves constructed through tissue-printing significantly decreases the rejection rate of donated organs in a new host body through redefining undifferentiated cells_ , right?"

Leonard blinked in surprise. On a good day, he could manage to string the entire title of his scientific study together, and he wrote the damn thing. How on earth did Alice manage to rattle it off verbatim as if she were reading the title of the document?

"Uh, yeah," he agreed. "I published that two years ago."

Alice must have been able to hear his frown in his voice because she looked up from his PADD. "What is it?" she asked, the question resonating more deeply in her eyes than in her voice.

"Did you remember that from two years ago, or did you look me up like Jim did when we first met?"

A small smile tugged at her lips. "It was the most interesting article I read that year. Well, for medical sciences anyway. The Vulcan Science Academy published an interesting theory about blackholes." Her eyes fell from his and returned to the article. "Also, I have a photographic memory," she added offhandedly. "He does it again here. It's also a little informal."

"Wait, you have a photographic memory?"

"That's what I said," Alice hummed, her eyes darting up to his as she bit her lip softly. "What?" she chuckled when she noticed him frowning at her.

"I don't really know that much about you, do I?"

Alice tilted her head to the side, looking at him curiously. For a moment, Leonard thought that she was going to argue with him, and sure he knew things about her she hadn't told anyone, but she was very quiet when it came to herself.

"What do you want to know?" her soft smile and tender words were an honest invitation, one he wasn't sure Alice would give to anyone else.

"Do you have any more surprises like a photographic memory I don't know about?" he started.

"Nothing that weird, no," she answered, turning on the couch so that she faced him straight on.

Setting the PADD on the coffee table, Leonard mirrored her movement, draping an arm over the back of the couch as he faced her. It wasn't just her eyes that would catch him off guard now, it was also how beautiful she was.

"Alright," Leonard dragged out, trying to come up with a question. "What's your favorite color?"

She smirked, "Well, you look good in science officer blue."

"I'm serious, Alice," though Leonard couldn't help but smile at the compliment.

The smirk faded, turning from playful to genuine as she looked off to the side. "If I had to pick one, I'd have to go with orange."

"Orange?"

"Yeah." A specific memory glazed over her eyes, giving her a thoughtful look. "It was the color of the first sunset I ever saw." Her thoughts returned, and she waited for his next question.

"Favorite food?"

"That one's easy," she smiled. "Anything pasta."

"That a hint?" Leonard asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe," Alice teased him, the deep blue of her eyes sparkling with mirth.

It continued on for close to a half hour like that. Leonard would ask her some kind of question involving _trivial_ things, and Alice would answer, always open and almost always teasing as she did so. As they continued on, Leonard focused on her answers, memorizing the way she responded and whatever comments she made in regards to her answer much in the same as she had when she mentioned the sunset being the reason her favorite color was orange. The questions ranged from favorite kinds of drinks and foods, to movies, to subjects in grade school, and the like. And the woman who was normally quiet in her elegance seated before him was so incredibly open as she shared things about herself that she wouldn't have otherwise brought up.

"Hmm, I'd have to say that classical music is my favorite," Alice answered.

"Classical? It's a little…rough sounding, don't you think?" Leonard had been disbelieving in that. As reserved as she was, he would never have guessed that she enjoyed such…barbaric music.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "It has this old fashioned charm I like about it, though. And usually some good beats."

"It always sounds angry to me," he added.

"Then I'm surprised you don't connect with it on a spiritual level, Doctor McCoy," and Leonard rolled his eyes for the first time since they started.

"Alright," Leonard chuckled, "this is the last one, for now, I promise."

"Oh really?" Alice asked, mock skepticism lacing through her words. "Is this interrogation finally coming to an end?"

"Hey, you were free to stop answering whenever you wanted to," he offered playfully, laughing as he barely tried to dodge her slugging him lightly in the arm. He paused for a moment, letting the warmth of their fun resonate quietly before Leonard finally worked up the courage to ask the question.

"Why me?"

The quizzical frown was almost instant. "What do you mean?"

Leonard was well aware of his faults. He was an older man, a divorcee; he wasn't strong or charismatic; he didn't have some winning charm that swept women off their feet; he had a bitter disposition on good days and an insulting fury on bad ones; there was also the alcoholism and aversion to people; Leonard had a gift for driving people away; and despite all of this, for some reason, Alice had picked him.

"Why me?" he echoed. "Why not someone else?"

Insecurity was something Leonard often didn't have time to care for. He was a doctor, after all, not some model that had to worry about their hair when he was elbow deep inside of someone trying to keep them from dying in the operating room. But when he thought of himself standing by Alice's side, even if the whole world didn't know about them, he couldn't help but wonder and worry about how he compared to her.

Alice's eyes softened as she understood the question, the intensity of her eyes warming and soothing. "Because you were what I needed and what I wanted."

It was something she had said to him before, and even now as she said it as if he should know the full weight she was putting behind it, Leonard couldn't help but doubt.

She must have seen it in his eyes. "Leon," her voice was music that swarmed around him. "Do you want to know the first thing I noticed when I met you?" The smile that grew tenderly across her lips was radiant. "It was your intelligence," a gentle hand traced fragile fingers across his cheek. "You have such thoughtful eyes," she mused. A flicker of mischief, "Even when you're panicking about being in a shuttle."

Leonard scoffed at the memory. He remembered their first meeting very well despite the amount of alcohol he had consumed that morning.

"I also noticed how rough you were," Alice continued. "You hadn't shaved, your hair was a mess, and you had a very… _aggressive_ demeanor; but despite all that," her hand trailed from his cheek and tussled his hair, mirroring the mess she had mentioned, "you were very kind. It was just hidden behind your roughness, and alcoholism."

"Are you complimenting me?" he asked her with gentle teasing.

Her frown told him to shut up before Alice continued. "You have steady hands and are careful with everything that you do, even if you otherwise act brash and uncaring." Her eyes rang blue with honesty, green with natural warmth, and gold with admiration. "And more than that, you make me feel normal."

Alice's next sentence shocked him.

"I've never felt that before, and you were the first person to make me feel that. You and Jim."

"Then why—"

"Then why didn't I choose Jim?" She finished for him. "You have steady hands, and you know what you're doing. And you're careful," she echoed. There was that playful smirk that always made him smile. "And we both know that Jim's favorite pastime is being reckless."

Leonard couldn't help but nod his head in agreement on that one.

"You are what I need and what I want," Alice continued. "Don't ever doubt that, because I don't doubt what you mean to me, Leonard McCoy."

And in that moment, he could believe that he loved her.

* * *

"Are you guys gonna order anything, or just sit there looking constipated while you stare at you PADDs?" Joe asked, lazily mopping up the counter with a wet dishrag.

The glare that Alice shot him was almost enough to get a laugh out of Leonard if he hadn't been so focused on refreshing the page he was on. And Jim must have been equally intent on his own PADD because he didn't say anything either. All three of them had their eyes glued to their devices, staggering their timing on hitting the refresh button in the upper right corner.

"Seriously guys, could you not?" Joe continued, though the teasing inflection of his voice couldn't have gone unnoticed, even by the three friends who were oblivious to everything outside of their PADDs. "You're scaring away my customers."

"It's ten in the goddamn morning, Joe!" Leonard exclaimed. "Who the hell are we going to scare away? The drunks that are still passed out in the bathroom?"

Joe merely chuckled, clearly finding their behavior amusing.

"I'm in!" Jim finally whooped.

"What!?" Alice cried out, and Leonard could hear her pounding on the screen of her PADD from his place seated next to her. "Come on!" she groaned willingly in frustration.

"Top five percent!" Jim hollered in triumph, dropping his device onto the counter for emphasis.

"I got it!" Alice said is as much shock as excitement.

"Damnit!" Leonard hissed. "Mines not loading!" _Of course NOW is when my PADD isn't going to load_.

"Here, use mine," Jim said, thrusting his PADD towards Leonard, causing Alice to cry out as he nearly smacked her in the face with it as Jim passed it over in front of her.

Alice breathed a sigh of relief. "Five percent as well." The smile she wore made her glow with pride in her accomplishment.

And Leonard could feel both of their gazes shift over to him as they waited for him to say something. "Staring at me isn't going to make the damn thing load any faster," he growled, his annoyance directed at Jim even though he had _yet_ to do anything; but Leonard could feel the smug smirk Jim had plastered on his face. The page finally flickered to life, and Leonard quickly scanned the information. Top marks in all his classes except for one where he missed a few—more than a few—points on his exams.

"Top ten percent," he finally read aloud, using cold indifference to hide the slight disappointment he felt.

Back when he was going for his M.D. and Ph.D., Leonard had graduated cum laude. Part of him realized how foolish he must have been to think he would manage to pull off the same stunt here, where Starfleet was _literally_ cultivating the brightest minds in the universe outside of the Vulcan Academy.

 _Which Alice has apparently attended_ , he reminded himself. She didn't really talk about it, though. Only in passing or briefly when talking about how warm it had been or how beautiful the sunsets had been. Never about what she had studied there or how she met Uhura whenever Jim tried to pester information about the infamous xenolinguist he had started a bar fight over.

Still, it would have been nice to be in the same percentile as Jim and Alice.

"Not bad for an old man," Jim fired off quickly, the teasing inflection of his voice getting on his nerves. "I'm honestly surprised you managed to keep up with us youngsters."

"It's not like we're running a marathon, jackass," Leonard snapped, feeling his temper rise as his self-disappointment increased. It was losing those points in that damned physics class. If he had done better, then Jim wouldn't have anything to use against him. "It's academia. I can keep up just fine."

"I can see that," Jim said, continuing to act like a little shit. "It's just a little…surprising is all."

Leonard scoffed in disgust as he tossed Jim's PADD on the counter in front of Alice. "Here's your damn PADD back."

"Hey, be careful," Jim whined annoyingly. "It's fragile."

"Yeah, so is your health, princess," he grumbled under his breath.

"What did you say?" Jim accused.

"Nothing your precious ego can't handle," Leonard fired back.

"Boys! Enough," Alice chuckled. She turned to Jim. "I know this might be difficult, but can you try not to be such an ass tonight. We just finally finished surviving our first semester."

"But it's so much fun winding Bones up," Jim grinned.

"I'll be sure to remember that the next time you show up at the hospital."

"You hold grudges like a girl," Jim taunted.

"At least I don't start fights all the damn time like some kind of barbarian."

"Come one, Bones, admit it," he grinned. "You'd be bored if I didn't show up to bug you."

Leonard rolled his eyes. The disappointment in his scores long forgotten as the infuriating enigma that was Jim Kirk continued to pester the living hell out of him. He didn't even realize that Jim was manipulating him into a better and more directionally outwards sour mood for his own sake as he taunted Leonard into getting mad at him.

"Yeah, sure," Leonard sneered in dry sarcasm. "Let's go with that."

But Jim just laughed off the whole conversation, and Leonard wasn't sure if that made him angrier or calmed him down as Jim turned his attention to Alice, who had given up on ending their bickering after her first attempt.

"So, Alice," he started candidly. "What are your plans for winter break now that you've _survived_ your first semester?"

It was Alice's turn to roll her eyes at Jim. "I'm going to partake in this wonderful thing called 'nothing' to my heart's content until the next semester starts back up."

"Well, that's boring," Jim yawned mockingly.

"I get plenty of excitement with you two in my life," she shrugged, a mischievous smile dancing on her lips. "I have to worry about one of you accidentally drinking yourself to death and the other not managing to keep his mouth shut and getting beaten to death."

"I don't drink that much," he smirked. "Bones is the one you need to worry about."

"You're hilarious, really," Bones growled indifferently.

"Oh, and then there was that incident where I was blown up in a building," Alice added as if she hadn't been interrupted. "I get plenty of excitement."

Jim chuckled softly, shaking his head before moving on. "What about you, Bones? Anything special planned?"

"Going back to Georgia." Then, in response to Jim's raised eyebrow, he added, "I'm spending the holidays with my parents."

"Ah yes," Jim grinned wildly. "The southerners and their stereotypical love for their mothers."

"There's nothing wrong with loving your family, Jim," Leonard replied, taking a more passive tone as if he were teaching a stubborn child a lesson.

"I never said there was."

"Yeah, well you were being judgmental about it."

"I was not," he argued back, tough you could hear the laughter in his voice. "I was making a simple observation."

"And judging me," Leonard added for him.

"I was not."

"You were being a little judgmental there, Jim," Alice added, a warm smile of both amusement and fondness gracing her lips.

Jim's gaze flickered between Alice's and Leonard's as he held an expression that would make an unknowing party believe he had just been betrayed. "It's not fair when you two gang up on me!"

"Well, you make enough noise for five people, so I think it's fair," Leonard countered, a small smile just barely tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I agree with Bones," Alice added with a smirk.

"See?" Jim protested. "Not fair."

Alice rolled her eyes in a _whatever_ fashion. "Are you going to tell us what plans you have for winter break that are _so much better_ than ours, or you going to keep us waiting?"

"I was getting to it, but then you two started making wild accusations about me being judgmental."

"Good lord," Leonard sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Though it was hard to remain exhausted at Jim when he could hear Alice barely containing her laughter next to him.

"I got accepted into the Practical Applications of Leadership program," Jim finally informed them, puffing up as if he were hot shit.

"And you said my plans were boring," Alice quickly commented.

"Hey, that's not nice," Jim whined in a mocking offense.

Alice shrugged, but there was no missing her playful smile. "I wasn't trying to be mean. I was just making a simple observation."

Jim narrowed his eyes at her, and Leonard couldn't help but chuckle lightly at Alice's comment. When she wanted to, she could easily beat Jim at his own game; but she didn't do it often, apparently content to let Jim insight annoyed, argumentative, and almost equally immature quips from him. It was almost like she enjoyed watching them bicker back and forth.

~~.O.~~

Eh. Not sure about this chapter. I've kind of hit a bump in my train of thought for this story and I'm not quite sure how to proceed, but I think I've got it now. Or at least, have an idea now.

Anyway, sorry that it took a bit longer than usual, but college is starting to get a little more difficult now and I don't have as much time anymore. I will do my bet to keep at least one chapter a week, though.

Please let me know what you think. I love it when you guys talk dirty to me. ;)

Thank you for reading!

See you next chapter!


	21. Combatives

Alice found herself fighting the nervous and childish urge to peak through the window that opened to the gym in front of her. She was dressed in her standard issue PT uniform, opting for the sleeveless tank allowed for combatives classes. Her head was held high, ebony hair swept up in a regulatory bun that would put the illustrations in the cadet handbook to shame. Her posture was rigid and commanding, an epitome to control over oneself that nearly challenged even the Vulcan standards. But that was just the exterior, a front to hide how truly terrified she was of entering the room.

Inside, she could see the shuffling figures that stood around, aimlessly wandering from one social group to the other as they waited patiently for the instructor of their combatives class to enter and begin instruction. They were waiting for _her_.

For Advanced Combatives III, it was necessary that the cadets in the course could show their mastery of hand-to-hand techniques by _teaching_ what they knew two days out of the week while the third day assigned for ACIII was spent on training simulations held either in the field or in the simulators. Alice was at the point in her instruction where the instructors were no longer teaching her what to do but demanding that she apply what she _knew_ how to do.

But she would not be instructing the course alone. There was an actual instructor, Commander Vance, who would not only gauge the performance of the cadets in Combatives I, but also her own. So, the cadets in the gym were not waiting impatiently for just her; but for her and the instructor that had yet to show up.

Alice had spent all of her winter break between the semesters memorizing the basic lesson plan structure for the course. It was her responsibility to know it better than the actual instructor, to be able to teach it as if he weren't there. And studying the material, memorizing it, had been about as exciting as it sounded. Not that she had much else to do. After finals, Leonard had gone back to Georgia to visit his parents, which rained all kinds of hell from Jim in the form of jokes and teasing; and Jim himself was busy with an optional leadership course that was _recommended_ for those on the command track.

The only person Alice had really seen during the holiday break was her father at his insisting that she at least spend December 25th with him. The date really had no emotional tie to her; she had never really had a day of celebration for anything, holiday or memorial. Christmas held meaning for her father though, so she hadn't minded allowing him to force her to participate in the ancient ritual of giving gifts with brightly colored wrapping paper. And for some reason, she had wondered if Jim and Leonard celebrated Christmas, but then thought better of it since neither Leonard nor Jim had mentioned it; and even more, Jim hadn't even mentioned his birthday.

 _A birthday like that, though_ … Alice could understand intimately why Jim would choose not to celebrate it, to not even mention it, really. In fact, that day, the _U.S.S. Kelvin_ Memorial Day hosted by the Academy, had been the only day during break she had seen Jim; and she had supervised as he drank himself into oblivion at Joe's for a reason he would not speak about, letting him sleep it off on her couch.

"Assistant Instructor Khan," came a veiled greeting, drawing Alice from her thoughts

"Instructor Vance," she acknowledged.

"I would like for you to hang back while I lay down the rules," Vance informed her, coming to stand beside her, "afterwards, we begin instruction."

Alice looked over to him. "Any advice?"

Vance studied her for a moment. "You are one of their own, Ms. Khan. In the same graduating class, roughly the same age class, and you are a just a first year cadet like them. You need to establish your authority and gain their respect today, or else you won't have it at all." He waited a beat. "My job is to evaluate you in addition to teaching these cadets, however, that doesn't mean I am out to sabotage you. As long as it isn't a stupid, I'll back your play."

"Thank you, sir," Alice breathed, trying to steady her heart as she _actively_ worked on not tapping her fingers together in nervousness. It was something she and Commander Spock had been focusing in on correcting behaviorally, and today was making it difficult for her remain in control of it.

Alice held the door open for Vance as the man who exuberated confidence strode in, following him in at a distance. Some of the cadets turned to see who had entered, but the rest were shocked into compliance.

"Fall into extended formation! Move!" Vance boomed commandingly, his voice reverberating loudly in the high vaulted ceiling of the gym.

There was a heart sinking feeling of dread that clung to her spine as Alice scanned the room, her eyes recognizing the two figures she had been all but _praying_ would not be in the class she had to instruct. Yet here they were, proving once more that her luck really was _that_ bad.

Alice could feel her cheeks start to flush red when Jim gave her this obnoxious, shit-eating grin when he spotted her, and it made Alice almost reconsider being his friend; and Leonard was standing a little way away from him in an alphabetized, extended distance, but she couldn't read what he was thinking as his eyes followed her, though. He certainly wasn't finding the situation nearly as entertaining as Jim was, for which she was thankful.

"Welcome to Combatives I, cadets," Vance said, his voice echoing loudly with years of issuing orders. "The course that all of you are required to take after your first semester of physical training." Alice stood behind Vance, off to the side so that she could still read the room.

"Let me be the first to tell you that this course will not be nearly as easy as PT was. You will not be running in circles with little speed bumps in your way." He paused for effect. "This course is all about the practical application of skill. Skill that myself and Ms. Khan will be teaching you." Alice stepped forward at the mention of her name.

"Now, some of you might recognize Ms. Khan as a member your graduating class," Vance continued. "As of now, however," he boomed, "she outranks each and every single one of you. As of now, she is Assistant Instructor Khan and will be addressed as such. She is not Alice Khan; she is not Cadet Khan. It is Assistant Instructor Khan or AI Khan. Am I clear, cadets?"

"Yes, sir!" came the resounding, unhesitating, unanimous answer.

"You will follow her instruction and commands as if I were the one giving it. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!"

"You will respect her authority, because she has authority, over you as an instructor of this course. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good," Vance finished, turning towards Alice. "Assistant Instructor Khan, if you would begin today's lesson?"

It was one hell of an introduction that lead to the moment she had been dreading, when she had to begin instructing her peers. Her heart raced for an instant as she surveyed the crowd.

And then…it stilled.

It was just like a fight. Survey your options, study the threats, take account of your surroundings, acknowledge areas of difficulty, and then attack.

"Thank you, Instructor Vance," Alice said confidently as she strode forward towards the extended formation. She made a point to be obvious in her observations of them before addressing you. Then for added effect she paced in front of them.

"If I were to ask you the question _who here knows how to fight_ , and if some of you would actually answer, I would probably get a few admittances of some having no experience, some having gotten into a fight or two, and then a couple of you would say that _yes, you do know how to fight_." She stopped. "Cadet Sims," she sounded off loudly, her voice ringing in the gym. "Do you know how to fight?"

There was a self-satisfactory chuckle to accompany the smug look he wore. "You should ask Kirk that question," he boasted, getting a few laughs from his friends that were also amongst the group.

Jim still had the bruises that marred his face from that aforementioned fight. Sims and the other roommates had gotten drunk and stumbled into the dorm room their first night back from break and had gotten belligerent; and rather than just take the insults they threw his way quietly, Jim had undoubtedly egged them on, that obnoxious smirk and crystal blue eyes having a way of melting resolves. Whether or not it melted the resolve of a woman who weakly refused to sleep with him or the resolve of three large men who were barely containing their anger and fight response was another matter entirely.

"But I wasn't asking Cadet Kirk, now was I?" she responded, steely voice accompanying her perfect posture as she stood rigid and relaxed, challenging him. Her friendship with Jim was something Sims was well aware of, and while she was adamant with herself about not playing favorites with Jim or Leonard, she certainly wasn't about to let Sims disrespect her fledgling authority just because of their friendship either.

"Yes, ma'am," Sims backed down. "I do know how to fight."

 _Perfect_. "Step forward, please," Alice commanded him, waving for him to stand next to her. The large cadet towered over her, even when he was slouching in a relaxed position of attention. It was the second reason she chose him. He was easily over a foot taller than her and close to double her weight.

"Now tell me, how do stand when you fight?"

"How do I stand?" he asked, voice equal parts disbelieving and confused.

"Is the question too difficult for you, Cadet Sims?" she asked, her voice and expression as passive as a Vulcan's while several of the cadets snickered in formation.

"No, ma'am."

"Then how do you stand when you fight?" she repeated, not bothering to hide the amusement in her voice that didn't show in her demeanor. "Show me."

Cadet Sims looked as if he were about to protest, thinking that this was some kind of joke. His gaze flickered over to Instructor Vance in question, but Alice's superior backed her play by saying nothing. Sighing in frustration, Sims took up a meager defensive stance.

And Alice realized that she could have some fun with this _assignment_.

The stance Sims took was, in a word, pathetic. His feet were too close together, his body was turned too much, and his hands were clenched into fists already. It was standard barroom brawl procedure, making yourself look big and menacing and feigning like you actually had a clue about what you were doing, but it certainly was ineffective when it came to a real fight. It would work in order to give a good example, though.

Sims shrugged expectantly, signaling that this was how he stood.

It was very difficult for her not to smile in amusement for what was about to come next. Walking around him, Alice made it look as if she were studying his stance very carefully before she finally came back to stand in front of him. There was a moment of hesitation before she finally lashed out.

With a well-executed kick, Alice easily threw Cadet Sims off balance, knocking his feet from underneath him, his legs following suit as they were swept to the side. He crashed loudly against the mats, his body making a satisfactory smack as he made flat contact with the ground beneath him.

And several of the cadets in the formation clearly found it funny that someone who had a good foot height-wise and twice the weight on her had been so easily knocked to the ground with one blow. Jim was certainly the loudest in showing his amusement and it triggered more barely contained laughter from the cadets around him.

Alice remained on her feet, ignoring Sims as he groaned in both shock and pain. "In this class we will start by teaching you how to stand, then move on to how to throw a punch, how to kick, how to block, how to counter, and then we will begin by teaching you series of combinations on how to take down a threat."

"Cadet Sims," Alice addressed him as he finally managed to return to his feet. "I would like to thank you for providing us with an excellent example of how not to stand. Please fall back into the formation."

Instructor Vance strode up to stand beside his assistant. "As I have said before, this course will not be as easy as Physical Training in your first semester was," he warned. "On Tuesdays, you will be learning the basic forms of either defensive positions, offensive and defensive counters, and various forms of attacks. On Thursdays, you will be practicing these same movements with the addition of other combinations as AI Khan and I see fit. Then the following Tuesday you will all be tested on your proficiency with what you were taught the prior week before we move on in our instruction." Vance looked over to Alice, signaling for her to continue.

"Your final examination will consist of a full combat simulation between you and a partner in which each of you will be required to use one technique learned from each week of this course." Alice saw the nervous glances from several of the cadets as they looked at one another. "Which is why it is extremely important that you pick a good partner. They will either make or break your grade. This class is all about proficiency." She paused. "If your partner pulls punches for you, you will fail. If you pull punches for your partner, you will fail. If you refuse to do as instructed, you will fail."

"And if you do not take this class seriously, behave recklessly, or attempt to use what you are taught in class in any way to instigate a fight inside or outside of this gym, you will fail. I'm looking at you Cadet Kirk and Sims. I don't want to see bruises on either you again starting this week." Vance paused for dramatic effect. "Do we have an understanding here, cadets?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good," he nodded. "Choose your partner and stand next to them while maintaining a loose formation. AI Khan and I reserve the right to change up pairings as necessary." A pause to let the instruction set in. "Fall out!"

Cadets began shuffling around, slowly at first, but when they moved to their friends, the ones they chose to be partners, the initial nervous chatter became louder as they became more comfortable. And not to her surprise at all, Alice saw the overly excited Jim Kirk race to stand next Leonard McCoy. Jim was literally jumping up and down while Leonard looked as if he was about to murder someone. If she didn't have to maintain a professional appearance, Alice would have probably laughed at the sight of them.

As they began to settle down, Vance turned to her. "You take that half," he motioned to his left. "I'm assuming you're aware of how to ensure that they have adequate partners?"

"Yes, sir," she nodded.

"Good," he nodded. "And remember, this is much a learning process for them as it is for you. You need to be fully capable of instructing and teaching crew members on how to handle threats both on a Starship and on field ops."

"I am aware, sir," Alice replied sternly. She didn't need the warning. She was fully aware of what was expected of her. A good tactical officer could advise the crew of how to get through a difficult situation. An excellent tactical officer could instruct them how to get through a difficult situation.

"Then get to it."

"Yes, sir."

Alice began to make her way through the loose ranks of cadets, asking for their names as she recorded the pairings in her PADD. On a couple of instances, she did have to switch up partners on account of drastic height or weight differences, but unlike Instructor Vance, she observed, Alice was kind enough to at least ensure that they knew each other even if they hadn't been the first choice in partner.

About halfway through, she finally had no choice but to interact with the pairing she had wanted to avoid the most; because just as _of course_ they were in the class she was Assistant Instructor in, _of course_ they were part of the cadets that Alice had to record when Vance and divided the group in half.

Jim's smile was absolutely ridiculous. " _Assistant Instructor Khan_ ," he said overenthusiastically. "It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think Bones?"

"Yeah, sure," Leonard shrugged grumpily, his voice indicating he wasn't really paying attention to what Jim said. "Please tell me you have to switch one of us to another group, I don't think I can handle being partnered with _him_."

"Don't think you'll be able to keep up with me?" Jim teased, his crystal eyes flaring with a warmth that meant he was having way too much fun with this.

"I don't think I'll be able to stop hitting you when I start."

Alice chuckled, glancing over the personnel files she had prompted on the screen. They were nowhere near as in depth as a medical file might be, and she certainly didn't need them for these two; but she was at least going to give the appearance she was trying to look for a reason to split them up on Leonard's behalf.

"It looks like the only thing that _could_ be an issue is the difference in age," she said.

"You hear that Bones," Jim cut in. "I think she's calling you old."

"I am not calling you old," Alice quickly amended. "I'm just saying there's no large difference in height or weight or your physiology that would need for you two to be split up."

"What about his ego or immaturity?" Leonard tried, the hard edge in his voice nearly covering the fact that he was joking. "There's definitely a difference there."

For the sake of playing along, Alice briefly scanned to see their personnel files again. "Hmm… unfortunately, neither of those are listed in actual quantities on your files, so I don't have a _real_ reason to split you two up."

"Looks like you're stuck with me," Jim beamed.

"Fan-fucking-tastic," Leonard growled.

"Look at it this way," Alice offered, "at least you'll be motivated to do well."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, the better you are, the more likely you'll be able to _accidentally_ hurt Jim," she smirked teasingly.

"Hey! That's not nice," Jim whined.

Alice merely chuckled at his outburst in response before she continued making her way through the rank and file once more, taking down names and recording who had whom for a partner. And even though she had stopped for a brief conversation with her friends, Alice still managed to finish with the "paperwork" portion of the day faster than Instructor Vance. It was a small victory that served to boost her confidence.

"Alright, cadets," Vance called out as he made his way back to the front. "Form up in a partner extended formation."

As the cadets began to shuffle into a more rigid formation, staggering themselves properly with perfect equidistance from each other, Vance turned to Alice. "We'll begin with proper stance, followed by right and left handed punches, and then right and left front kicks," he added in an aside. "You will be demonstrating each one first, and then assisting the left side of the formation starting from Cadet Sims over."

"Understood."

"First things first, cadets, you need to have your basic defensive stance." Vance addressed the waiting cadets. "Your stance should be a solid base that no one can move you from when done properly. It is where you can deliver all of your punches kicks, and perform your blocks. And it is the complete opposite of the stance Cadet Sims was kind enough to demonstrate for us." Alice felt a surge of satisfaction as he insulted Sims' overinflated pride.

From there on, Vance droned on, nearly boring Alice with the basic concepts of commands that would be given during this course that they were responsible to know since all other commands for more advanced combinations would stem from a root command. And Alice had to demonstrate all of them.

There was "at ease." A relaxed stance that one would normally assume at any time they weren't in formation or combat. For this, Alice had crossed her arms and placed all her weight heavily on one foot, full tilt diva as Jim called it whenever he saw a woman strike that pose in a bar.

Next came "ready" or "ready position." This was the defensive stance Instructor Vance had touched on. "It is to be taken quickly, not stupidly. I don't want to see any of you jumping to this position like morons!" he had growled before moving to Alice and listing off all of the characteristics that were required, that she demonstrated: straight back, slight bend in the knees with slightly more than shoulder with distance between her feet, her back foot twisted sideways for balance, on arm raised with the other held close to her stomach, hands relaxed but open, and a fluidity to how rigidly she held herself ready for an attack.

And she did her best to ignore that catcalling whistle that came from Cadet Sims as Vance mentioned her form.

"No one should be able to move you from this position unless you let them," Vance continued on. "Cadet Kirk! Fall out to the front of the formation."

"Yes, sir," came the automatic response.

"Try to knock Ms. Khan down," Vance instructed once he had reached them. Alice shot a questioning look at Vance, one that mirrored Jim's own. "Now, cadet," he reaffirmed when Jim hesitated.

"Ma'am?" Jim turned to Alice, asking her for permission.

"Good luck," she teased gently, but instead of approaching her, Jim backed off, walking towards the opposite side of the gym. It was only as the distance continued to increase steadily that Alice realized just what he was planning.

 _Oh shit…_ she breathed in deeply before digging in deep.

Jim turned and charged her a full sprint, throwing a shoulder forward as he rushed her. Alice held firm as he finally made contact with her though, catching his arm with her hands and remaining standing. The force was enough to slide her back on the mats, however, the slight screeching of her shoes being scraped against it as she finally managed to stop Jim's momentum.

Alice shoved Jim away from her, shortening her stance a little since she had widened it a bit when he crashed into her. "Nice try," she smirked as he staggered back a few steps.

"As I said," Vance reiterated. "No one should be able to move you from your defensive stance unless you allow them to. Though I must say, Cadet Kirk, for a moment there, I thought you were going to be the exception."

"So did I," Kirk said amusedly. "She's stronger then she looks," he added as he returned to formation, giving Alice a sly wink as he passed her.

It took all of her control not to roll her eyes at him as Instructor Vance quickly jumped back into the instruction.

* * *

"Assistant Instructor Khan," Jim said in an exaggeratedly announcing and mocking voice for what had to be the millionth time as the three of them walked towards the dorms on campus.

"Are you actually going to say something afterward, or are you just going to repeat it again?" Alice groaned, regretting both having him in her class and not bringing a jacket for the cold night.

"How come you get to be an _Assistant Instructor_?" he asked, voicing the question that was probably on every single cadet's mind in their class.

"Because I'm better than you?" Alice said, avoiding giving an answer.

She had no desire to disclose just how many classes she had managed to test out of, having managed to shorten her required duration at the academy by a year so far. Most people didn't like to hear about that. Sure being a genius was encouraged in Starfleet, but it wasn't the best way to keep or make friends when you skipped the classes they still had to take. And while Jim often talked about his goal of finishing in three years, even he avoided bringing up just how smart he was. It might ruin his reputation.

"Come on, Alice," he pleaded. "There has to be more to it than that."

"Being an Assistant Instructor is a requirement for Advanced Combatives III in addition to field ops and simulations," she finally informed him with a sigh in frustration. "What better way to show your mastery of combat than by applying it practically and teaching it."

"You're in ACIII?" Leonard interjected. For the most part he had been content to just allow Jim to annoy her. He didn't want to get caught in the crossfire, she supposed. "How'd you manage that one?"

"I tested out of the other ones," she shrugged, not particularly comfortable with the questions.

"You tested out of them?" Jim balked.

"Is there an echo out here?" Alice asked, slightly annoyed. "Yes. I tested out of Combatives I and II and Advanced Combatives I. I could have tested out of ACII last semester as well, but the board decided that it would be _better_ for my education to have a 'refresher' course."

"Damn," Jim breathed in astonishment. "Remind me to always have you around when I decide to pick a fight."

Alice rolled her eyes. This was exactly why she didn't tell people about the classes she had been able to test out of. "You're not supposed to get into fights anymore _Cadet Kirk_." It was difficult for her to keep her frustration out of her voice.

"I know, I know," he laughed, brushing off her rougher tone easily.

"Why don't I believe you?" she asked accusingly.

"Because you're smarter than that, sweetheart," Leonard answered for her. "And all evidence, so far, points to the contrary."

"I can change," Jim argued playfully.

"Yeah, when pigs fly maybe," Leonard scoffed.

"Is that a challenge?" There was no mistaking the terrifyingly mischievous gleam that sparkled within the depths of his crystal blue eyes.

"No, it is not a challenge," he quickly answered, regretting what he had said instantly. "Do not find a way to make a pig fly, Jim.

"I don't know," he continued wryly, sly smirk on his face. "It sounds like a challenge to me."

"It is definitely _not_ a challenge," Leonard shot back.

"It wouldn't be that much of a challenge anyway," Jim teased. "It wouldn't be hard to make a pig fly."

"I can't even begin to imagine what kind of nightmare it would be if you actually tried," Leonard grimaced as if the idea was physically repulsive.

Alice frowned, allowing the old saying Leonard had used continue to detract the conversation from the original topic. "Really? Federation and Commercial starships move livestock all the time. If pigs were on one, technically it would be flying."

"Way to go for the loophole," Jim teased her. "The pig isn't _literally_ flying. It's being flown, in that case anyway. Plus, traveling through space isn't really considered flying," he added. "It's just the movement of matter."

"So, how would you make a pig fly?" Alice challenged.

"Are you seriously going to try to figure it out?" Leonard asked in disbelief. "It was a figure of speech."

"Mechanical prosthetics," Jim answered, ignoring the appalled tone in Leonard's voice. "Something similar to an old jet engine."

"Well, wouldn't that be subject to your own argument?" she countered. "The person in control of the prosthetics would be flying the pig and not the pig itself."

"Unbelievable," Leonard sighed.

"Unless the pig was in control of the prosthetics."

"What, like in some kind of synthetic cross that allows the pig to manipulate the engines?" Alice shook her head. "How would you even train the pig to use it, much less be able to manipulate it well enough to fly on its own without killing itself."

"Alright, then what's your brilliant idea?" Jim countered, his voice having a slightly offended edge to it as his idea was shot down.

"Single out the genes that code for all things aviation in a large bird and splice them into a pig's genome," Alice answered, holding her head a little higher in pride.

"That's horrifying, haunting, disturbed even," Leonard added, though it was obvious he wasn't expecting anyone to respond to him.

"Now you're subject to your own argument," Jim said satisfactorily. "How would the pig know how to use its wings?"

"I'm sure the pigs would figure it out a few generations down," she shrugged. "And they would at least have that opportunity. With your idea, it's either fly or die for the pig and you'd have to start all over if things went south…fast."

Jim huffed in amusement at her little pun. "Cute."

"That's not what I would call it," Leonard growled passively. "I can't believe I associate myself with you two."

"You're no fun sometimes, you know that Bones?" Jim teased, an obnoxious grin adding to the lightheartedness.

"At least I don't come up with ways to make a _figure of speech_ literal," he countered, and Alice couldn't help but chuckle softly at the comment. Yes, it was a silly now that Leonard put it that way, but it had been fun. And distracting. It was what she needed to get off of the original topic.

But some things have a way of coming back to you when you least expected it.

The three of them had been so enveloped in the conversation—Jim and Alice as active participants and Leonard as the _innocent_ bystander that watched on in horror as if there was a horrific crash playing out before him—that none of them had noticed the figure approaching them.

"Cadet Khan," came the steely rigid voice that finally caught their attention. "If I might have a moment of your time?" They all turned and immediately saluted the commander that stood before them, completely caught off guard to be proper with their formalities.

"Of course, sir," Alice answered, her insides churning as Spock survived them with veiled curiosity yet returning their salute none the less. She turned to her friends. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Both of them nodded in agreement, though neither Leonard nor Jim could mask their own curiosity as to what a Starfleet Commander would want with a cadet this late at night, never mind what a _Vulcan_ Commander might want. But they excused themselves politely, granting Spock the respect his rank entailed and leaving Alice alone with him.

"Is there something I can help you with, Commander?" Alice asked coldly, apprehensively.

"Curiously enough, it is something I can help you with, Ms. Khan," he replied. His features were softened and pleasant, the Vulcan form of a smile. "You had asked me a favor before the incident at the Science Complex. And as you requested, I inquired after Avarak." Spock handed her the holopad he had been carrying. "He asked me to pass on a few methods of contacting him so that you might establish communications with him directly rather than through a third party."

Alice accepted the holopad, scanning the information for only the briefest of moments before returning her attention to Spock. "Thank you, Mr. Spock," she smiled. "I greatly appreciate you doing this for me."

"It was no trouble," he assured her bluntly.

"Will that be all, Commander?" Alice asked, dreading what else he might insist on speak about.

"There is only one more matter that deserves attention," he answered, his voice less contained. "It has come to my attention that I have not acknowledged your involvement in the incident. Namely the fact that you saved my life."

Her smile grew as she couldn't help but tease him lightly. "It was no trouble."

"Perhaps not," he agreed with her, "but it is something I greatly appreciate." Alice huffed in amusement at his own subtle play with words as he continued on. "Have a good night, Ms. Khan," Spock said in pleasant dismissal, leaving just as abruptly as he had arrived.

Alice looked down at the holopad she still held in her hand. Avarak's picture was in one corner, and to her it was like she was stepping backward in time by nearly a year. Vulcan's don't particularly change. A culture built on logic does not have flowing society norms that change with time. But for some reason, Alice felt that Avarak looked especially unchanged with his contact information listed beside his ID.

It only served to throw her back into her memory, into the past, that much easier.

~~.O.~~

Alight, so onwards and upwards. Or actually backwards.

You'll see what I mean next chapter. ;)

As always, I love you guys and appreciate you giving my story the time of day.

Please let me know what you think in the form of unconditional love or critiques, I enjoy both.

Until next time!


	22. Prisoner

" _We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it_."

2254.55

The voices rang loudly in her head as she remained locked in a cage, a prisoner in both mind and body while the smooth gray walls closed in on her. She could still feel the touch, the needle that had been rammed through her arm when he had tried to turn her back around to face him.

The feeling of his body against her knuckles had been the only painless thing she felt as she fought memories, fought her past…and fought an innocent man. Or, at least, that is what she had been told when the cops intervened, pulling her off of him, restraining her much in the same way as she was used to.

There had been a brief moment of despair in her panic and resignation where she foolishly thought that she was back in that facility again, that the testing was going to start back up again. Only when she had been thrown into the back of the cruiser did the despair vanish, replaced by horror at what she had done. Again.

Joe must be getting tired of having to replace his furniture and windows so often because of her.

He used to keep a tally on the wall behind the counter, above the liquor. A running score of sorts for the number fights that broke out in his bar. The title on the antique chalkboard read "A vs. EE." Joe eventually took it down, though. In a gentle joke, he told her that it was because he ran out of room on it; but in reality, it was because he got to know Alice well enough to figure out why she took on Everyone Else.

Alice didn't like to be touched.

It always struck Joe as odd, though, that she would still come into a bar even when she was clearly aware that the likelihood of someone touching her increased when men and alcohol mixed inside a single room. Perhaps it was an innate desire to be part of something socially eve if she secluded herself from everyone else. Or maybe she just really needed the alcohol herself. He had no way of knowing what she tried to drink to forget.

Alice's skin crawled as she sat alone in the cell, her body firmly wedged into the corner that gave her full view of the room beyond the reinforced glass walls that closed off her freedom, a chokepoint for imprisonment. Trembling hands rubbed fiercely against her arms, trying to chase away the cold of being alone and of hopelessness.

With the amount of fights she got in, Alice wasn't surprised she was here. In fact, she was more surprised that she didn't end up in a cell more often—the perks of being damaged Starfleet property, she supposed. Her frequency in places like this didn't mean she would ever find the experience pleasant or comfortable, though. But who was she kidding? She didn't even feel comfortable in her own skin.

Heavy landing footsteps collided against the voice of memory that clamored in her head, inciting their wrath as phantom pain lingered once they were extinguished. Alice knew who it was, and in that moment, she couldn't determine what hurt her more: the pain from her past or the shame she now felt for her actions as he was forced to clean up after her. Again.

"Don't you ever get tired of ending up here?" came the hushed disapproval of Captain Pike. And because she cared so much about what he thought of her, it ended up being a draw in the contest of what hurt more.

Alice didn't answer his question out of fear and a desire to keep him from being disappointed further. Instead, she let her head sink lower towards her knees, a silent ad childish form of an apology.

Pike sighed loudly, running a hand through his graying hair. It had been some time since he had gotten a decent amount of sleep. Bureaucracy and paperwork having no manners and refusing to let him rest for any adequate amount of time. But he knew, he understood why she was back in a cell.

The poor girl had been through horrors that people couldn't even imagine, and life just kept throwing more and more at her before she had time to fully heal from her trauma. It was a miracle that she was put together at all. Especially after Jason.

Pike motioned for the guard to open up the cell, and with a loud buzz, the glass slid away, giving Alice back her freedom. Physically.

"It took a bit of time," he told her as they began to make their way out of the station, "but I managed to smooth things over. It just took some convincing since he was an off-duty cop."

"I'm sorry," she breathed, her voice weeping with loss and isolation.

"No, Alice," Pike reassured her. "You have nothing to be sorry for." But he knew better than to think that she believed in the platitudes.

There was a time where she was doing better, when she spoke much more freely, quiet happiness accompanying a whispered smile. It had taken years for Pike to build it up in her, nurturing it, but there was laughter and music, a spark of light that made her glow. But Jason had taken all of the from her. Now all that was left was the same little girl with listless eyes, lost and all alone as he had found her at that testing facility far too late to be able to actually save her. Now all he could do was pray that Alice could find a way to pick up her shattered pieces and heal, smoothing out the road in front of her as best as he could so that nothing tripped her up, causing her to drop them all over again.

Looking at her now, though, Pike felt like he was failing. "What happened this time?" he asked carefully, hoping to get her to at least look at him as they walked through the station, the glares from the comrades of the officer she had beaten to a near pulp following them as they went.

"I told him not to touch me," Alice shrugged, her voice somber and full of defeat.

"I'm sorry he didn't listen, baby girl."

 _Baby girl_. It was the first thing he had called her when he found her. It was a nickname he only reserved for when something bad had happened; when there was a large price behind what he was asking or an especially bad day. Today was not nearly as bad as it had been in the past.

 _He had to call in favors_ , Alice realized, the guilt gnawing at her insides nearly as painfully as the needles that ripped through her skin.

"It's alright," she breathed, not expecting Pike to buy it. "You've done enough for me already, father."

 _Father_. A title she had only just begun to use a few years ago, one she only ever used to placate or distract him from the truth or from whatever else she might want to keep hidden. Pike couldn't know that she meant it when she called him that. He was the only father she had ever known, and she was thankful for that. But she never told him about it. She never talked.

"A father can never do enough for their daughter," Pike argued back gently.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not your biological daughter," she countered, though there was no malice in her voice. There wasn't any emotion in her voice.

"Miracles do exist," he teased her, holding out his arm to motion her through the door ahead of him.

The soft huff of amusement from her was enough to tug a smile out of his weary features. It was a muted response, but he would take it. Better than having her remain sullen and unflinching, like a victim going through the shock phase of a traumatic event.

"Let me take you home, Alice," he offered, phrasing it so that it sounded more like an order rather than a suggestion.

It was the first time she looked at him that morning, probably the first time she had looked at anyone since the previous night when she was first arrested. Those intimidating eyes of hers, so intense, like they were seeing everything, every molecule, and missed nothing.

It always took him by surprise, the chaos of her eyes that always seemed to be in complete control of the situation as if Alice was already seeing what came next and had every outcome, every response already planned out. A weaker man might find her gaze unnerving; Pike found it hopeful. If her eyes could hold so much within them, then maybe Alice would someday exhibit what was reflected within those icy forests filled with gold leaves.

Like the old gentlemen he was, Pike held the door open on his cruiser for her, though in truth part of the reason he did so was to make sure that she didn't bolt on him. It had happened before, the first time being two months after he adopted her—three months after they had _rescued_ her. Ended up taking him three days to find her again, and it turned out that she was on the roof of the building he lived in. 150 stories up, laying down, facing the sky as if it was holding secrets that only she could see with those vibrantly dangerous eyes.

When he confronted her, lecturing her about how it was dangerous and how he had been worried about her, the scared little girl didn't shrink away from him, trembling in fear as she did the months before.

Instead, she had looked at him with doe eyes and told him, _"I wanted to see it closer. I've never seen it this close."_

It was the first time she had ever spoken.

Pike had known in an instant what to do next. With honest promises that he would take her to see it closer, he had managed to get her off of the roof and cleaned up before he took the haunted looking little girl to one of the observatory shuttles. Once there he had to inform the terrified ensign that Captain Pike required the shuttle with no crew and one passenger accompanying him. There had been no question on whether or not the ensign would bend to the request despite regulations.

Alice had been glued to the window in front of the pilot and copilot's seat, being careful not to hit any of the buttons in front of her as she had been warned. Her big eyes took in everything, and for the first time since he met her, Pike saw the innocent little girl that had been trapped beneath s much scar tissue.

" _There's so much blue,"_ she had breathed in wonder.

" _There are a lot more colors when the sun sets,"_ he told her gently.

" _I've never seen it…"_

" _Would you like to?"_

There had been a look of complete disbelief written across her face. _"Can we?"_

" _Of course, baby girl."_ The smile he had given her was warm and endearing as he quickly shut off all communication frequencies except for the one for sky traffic since he had no doubt in his mind that the news of him hijacking a shuttle would get to someone who outranked him eventually.

But the way Alice was behaving? More human, more child-like than a victim of trauma? Pike didn't give a damn about possible reprimands.

Lost girl and distinguished Starfleet Captain had sat in the observation deck of the shuttle in complete silence for hours as they waited for the sun to begin its descent below the horizon; and the closer it crept to line that marked sky from land, the closer Alice scooched forward on her seat towards the edge of it.

" _Orange,"_ she had breathed as quiet as a prayer. _"I learned that it could do that, but I didn't really believe it."_

They remained where they were as orange melted together with red, darkening deeper and deeper as the lower the sun sank beneath the horizon. Purple clouds were peppered around them and the sky faded to match, grower darker as it faded to a midnight blue. It was only as the first stars were able to shine through, the giant Sol in the sky no longer overpowering them, that Alice finally looked at Pike.

" _Can we go higher?"_ a childlike innocence that had been ripped from her make the words more confident.

" _We won't be in the sky anymore,"_ Pike warned her as any parent would.

" _I know that,"_ she had reassured him, bobbing her head in a light nod, making Pike wonder if she was trying to reassure him or himself.

" _Of course we can go higher, baby girl,"_ he smiled. _"Do you want to stay here or come with me to the cockpit?"_

There was a long moment of hesitation as there was every time she was given an option as to what she could do. To an observer, it would seem as if she were just terribly indecisive. Pike, however, knew better. Alice wasn't sure she believed that she was being given an honest option, that she wasn't honestly being allowed to make a decision. Her hesitation was her waiting for her freedom of choice to be torn out of her hands as it had been all her life.

Pike wondered what had brought that memory back to him in such vibrant clarity as he steered his cruiser down the freeway. Alice was seated on the passenger side, silent and closed off with her arms crossed as she sat as far back into the seat as she possibly could. No longer the little girl but just as damaged.

"Do you remember that time you ran away and ended up being camped out the roof?" he tried, hoping that maybe she would find the memory as pleasant as he had.

He looked over at her hopefully, but Alice continued to brood much like a teenager would, but over things far darker than any could comprehend.

"You had been missing for three days, and I'm pretty sure that marks the moment my hair started turning gray I was worrying so much," he chuckled lightly. "But there you were, lying down on the roof, not even trying to hide, really."

"I wanted to see the sky," Alice added, her voice no longer lost but tinging with fondness at the memory. "And you stole a shuttle to take me higher."

"Yeah," Pike laughed. "Marcus gave me hell about that. An abuse of power and unbecoming of a Captain to use rank for frivolities." He caught ahold of her beautiful eyes for a moment before returning his attention back to the road. "To see the look on your face and the light in your eyes when you saw that sunset and were amongst the stars, though… I'd do it again."

Out of the corner of his peripheral vision, Pike was able to see the soft-spoken smile tug at the corners of her lips. "Orange is still my favorite color," she told him in playful confidence, causing Pike to hum in amusement as he remembered how almost everything Alice had needed to be orange for a few months after the sunset.

Miles passed by, and by now Alice had figured out that her father was taking her home instead of back to her apartment.

Recalling that memory, the first time she spoke, her first sunset, the first time she saw the vastness of space with little shimmers of hope so far off in the distance; it made her nostalgic and slightly bitter. That memory marked at moment in her life when things were supposed to get better, where the was supposed to be an improvement in her quality of life. And while the things around her, her environment was better, Alice hadn't changed much at all. There was a time when she believed she was doing better but…

Jason had marked a moment in her life. Two moments, in fact. He marked the moment where Alice was doing well enough for herself to open up to someone and be with someone, trust them as she trusted Pike. But after the sweetness and innocence of their relationship wore off and as years passed by, Jason's kindness and understanding wore out as he became more agitated with her aversion to copious amounts of touch and contact. The verbal abuse had been relenting at times, and when she left him, there had been a violent fight; and it marked the sudden decline in how well she was doing.

Like a drug addict, remission was difficult and painful to all those around them. But it was Alice who felt like the failure for no longer being as tolerant as she once was before the locked room and the white dress.

"It's not getting better," Alice said in a pain filled whisper.

"I know," Pike replied solemnly.

"And I'm not sure what to do." A shaky breath. "I don't know how to get better."

Pike nodded but remained silent for a moment. "I have an idea," he offered carefully. "Something I've been working on for a while. The pieces have been set in motion, but I'm sure it's something you'll agree to."

Alice frowned at him.

"There is a chance that the Vulcans could help—"

Alice's scoff cut him off. "They can't help, father. The psychological strain of my emotions and memories would be too damaging and dangerous to them."

"Not through their telepathy," he continued, his voice a slight growl to get her to stop interrupting him. "But they could teach you to control your emotions, your mind, and your body."

"The mind, body, soul theory was disproven centuries ago," she shook her head.

"The causation, not the connection," Pike responded strongly. When Alice didn't argue further, he continued. "If you could control your emotions much in the same way that they do, perhaps it could help."

"If they would even agree to help," she countered meekly.

"There's a new Commander teaching at the Academy. Our first Vulcan officer. His name is Spock, he is Ambassador Sarek's son, and I'd like for you to talk to him."

"I don't do shrinks," Alice shook her head, her voice quiet yet firm. "And I certainly don't do Vulcan shrinks."

"It's not a psych eval," Pike assured her bluntly, but those damned eyes of hers. "Not completely a psych eval. It's more like an interview."

"An interview for what?"

"The Vulcan Institute of Defensive Arts." And here came the part he was most certainly not looking forward to disclosing. "I allowed Commander Spock access to her file," there was that sheer panic dancing in her radiant blue, "the moderately redacted version. He was only able to get a general overview. He doesn't know the specifics." The panic eased away, but Alice remained tense. "Spock believes that being instructed at the Institute would be…beneficial."

"Because I was already taught how to fight." It may have sounded like a question, but Alice knew the reasoning behind the Vulcan's _assessment_ of her file. There were times when she closed herself off so much and spoke so coldly, that Pike would swear that she was part Vulcan herself.

"Yes. He believes that the physical discipline and control might also help you with the mental and emotional," God he hated saying it, "disorders as well."

Alice nodded faintly in understanding, but she was fading away from him fast, the uncomfortableness of the conversation driving her back within herself. "They have never let a human in that Institute."

Pike nodded. "Commander Spock would be willing to work with the Ambassador to get you admittance if he thinks it would be a suitable placement."

"After I speak with him."

"After you speak with him," he agreed.

There was the reminiscent hesitation from Alice that never failed to remain unchanged in her over the years, though Pike believed it truly was a combination of indecisiveness and unease rather than only unease as it had been when she was younger.

"This is your decision, Alice," he reassured her.

"I know."

Pike allowed her to consider her options for a moment longer before he decided to steer her gently along the path he _knew_ she would come to want. Eventually. "Do you remember what you asked me when we stole that shuttle and broke atmosphere?"

She noticeably relaxed, huffing in slight amusement. "I asked if this was where you worked."

He chuckled fondly. "Yeah. Then you told me that you wanted to work out there, too."

"I remember," she breathed solemnly.

"I don't know if this will help, baby girl," he told her, admitting a weakness that most parents shied away from. "But I have a feeling it will help you get there if you still want to work in the stars."

"I'm not a kid anymore, father," she chastised him gently. "You mean enlisting in Starfleet."

"Maybe I'm a little biased," he chuckled lightly.

"Maybe," she agreed lightly.

They had finally pulled up to the building, and Pike parked the cruiser, shutting it off before he turned to his daughter, expectantly; but didn't pressure her into speaking. He knew that she was. Every time Alice was thinking about speaking, she always got this tiny frown, a slight crease between her eyebrows.

"Alright," Alice said in resigned determination. "Alright," she repeated to make sure she knew her own decision. "I'll talk to this Vulcan Commander."

~~.O.~~

Alright, so from now on, flashbacks will be denoted with a Stardate and probably some cheesy quote about time. If there is no Stardate and quote, it's not a flashback.

Now, I'm not quite sure if the next chapter is going to be a flashback or if I'm going to go back to my pattern of rotating to Leonard's POV. I guess you will find out next chapter. ;P

Anyway, please tell me what you think. As always, I love hearing from you guys.

Thank you for reading.

See you next chapter!


	23. Fatigue

Every time Alice was in deep thought, there was always this small crease that would appear between her eyebrows to form a tiny frown when she was either trying to work something out or found something completely confounding. It was making an appearance now as she continued to stare intently at the PADD she had rested on the counter as she ate breakfast, oblivious to everything around her, causing her to be a little sloppy. The crumbs that clung around the corners of her mouth made this apparent. And Leonard couldn't help but smile in fondness at the scene playing out in front of him.

Alice sat before him, wearing the skirt of her uniform and a black undershirt, refusing to put on the red turtleneck she absolutely _hated_ until the very last minute. Her posture was somewhat slouched as she peered over the edge of the counter at the PADD, hair pulled back into a long ponytail she would most likely throw into a bun as they were leaving her apartment. She held a piece of half-eaten toast in one hand, scarcely touching it as she wore her tiny _intent_ frown at whatever she was trying to figure out.

Leonard adored her. He adored her for the way she frowned at puzzling things, becoming so distracted that she almost literally forgot to eat. He adored the way she hated the uniform as much as he did, refusing to wear it any chance she could. He adored the way the crumbs settled around her mouth and she couldn't tell because she was so deep in complicated thought. Leonard adored her, and he was grateful that he could adore her and her little quirks.

"Something's bothering you," he said, making the sentence a statement rather than a question before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Is that so?" she asked playfully, that quiet little smirk of hers inciting one of his own as she continued to stared down at the PADD.

"Yup," he replied matter-of-factly. "You get this little frown whenever you're thinking. It's pretty cute actually."

Alice finally looked over at him, the movement fluid as her eyes radiated with an intense warmth that was only for him. "I frown when I think?"

"Mhm," he hummed, not bothering to hide his smirk. "It's one of your tells."

"And you know my tells, do you?" she said, raising her eyebrows in a challenge, but there was no mistaking the mischief that sparkled brightly within the gold of her eyes.

"We've been sharing a bed together for a while now," and he enjoyed every second of it. "So, I like to fool myself into thinking I know you."

The toast and PADD were abandoned. "Leon, you know me better than most. Very few people even get to know my favorite color," she reassured him in playful earnestness.

"And how many months did it take before I managed to get that out of you?" Leonard teased.

"Your point is noted and appreciated, Doctor McCoy, but it doesn't discredit what I said," she smiled before returning back to what she had been reading.

"Maybe I can help," he offered, leaning into her so that he could look over what she was reading.

But Alice quickly flipped her PADD over before he could get a look at anything that might have been displayed. She then rotated her chair and propped herself up by an elbow on the counter so that she became a barrier between him and whatever she was hiding. Leonard, of course, didn't mind her little game of keep away. She had her secrets, and he respected that, though, she usually would tell him after some teasing or later when she felt comfortable enough to tell him.

"It's not for your eyes, _Cadet_ McCoy."

"So it's the Combatives lesson plan." It wasn't the first time she had hidden it from him. "You know, if you really cared for me, you'd let me take a look at it," he teased her gently.

Alice rolled her eyes at him. "You're just as bad as Jim."

"Not nearly," he replied, trying not so subtly to slide his hand passed her on the counter and intentionally failing as she battered his hand away playfully. "What's bugging you about it?"

"Are you really interested, or are you just trying to distract me?"

"A little bit of both," he smiled, grabbing the underside of her chair and pulling her closer to him by it while his other hand snaked around her waist, thumb tracing dangerous patterns on her hip.

"Don't think I'm not aware of what you're doing," she warned him with a smile. "And I thought you were an _honest_ southern gentleman."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Leonard said, lightheartedly feigning innocence, "and I am the epitome of honesty." His thumb dug into her side, causing her to squeak slightly in surprise as it tickled, forcing her to shy away from the movement as he reached for the PADD. But he only rested his hand on top of it to show he had won, not even attempting to look at it or take it from her. Alice had a way of drawing out this playfulness in him that had been quieted for years, but she had some boundaries, and he made sure to never take it too far as Jim occasionally did.

Alice glared at him. "That wasn't very nice or honest," she scolded him, not bothering to conceal the amusement in her voice.

"I never said I was nice, darlin'." Leonard smirked, aware of how devilish it sounded with his accent as he withdrew his hand from the PADD, placing it instead on her knee, his fingers tracing more pleasantly and a lot less devious patterns. It was his way of informing her that she didn't need to tell him what she was looking at if she didn't want to.

"Uh huh," she hummed in agreement, rolling her eyes before she finally relented. "And I'm simply taking issue with the way Vance wants to teach blocking tonight."

"Too complicated?"

"Too ineffective," she corrected, turning back to her PADD, no longer worried that he would try and read over her shoulder. "It's nowhere near the way I was taught."

Leonard frowned. "Where were you taught?" The hesitation was answer enough, and Leonard cursed himself for his careless question. "Right, sorry."

She offered in a small, forgiving smile before shrugging it off. "I just don't think it's the best way to go about it."

"Well, you _are_ the Assistant Instructor. Don't you get a say in how you teach it?" Leonard rose from his chair, grabbing their plates and placing them gently into the sink. A sense of nostalgic familiarity at the situation striking him fondly. _Like an old married couple_ , the archaic saying rang in his head as he picked up after them.

"Emphasis on assistant," Alice sighed in mild annoyance as she tucked her PADD into her bag before tugging on that horrid turtleneck.

Red may have been her color and the uniform may have hugged her form spectacularly in his mind, but there wasn't really anyone who could pull off the cadet uniform, and Alice had readily agreed with this as well:

" _Leon, I will always find you handsome," she had said last night as she pulled him into her apartment, "but that uniform…" Alice had trailed off as she quickly worked to get him out of it._

" _I hate to break this to you, beautiful," he had growled back, his southern accent dancing across her skin, "but it's not too flattering on you either."_

"Oh, I don't know," Alice sighed, drawing him back from the pleasurable memories from the previous night. "I don't exactly want to sabotage Vance's opinion of me by challenging him." Leonard found it slightly mesmerizing as she wound her hair up into a tight bun. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"It's combatives," Leonard complained teasingly, grabbing his own things and walking towards the door. "It's always bad."

"It can't be that horrible," Alice argued back playfully, allowing him to hold the door open for her. "After all, I'm in the class."

Leonard couldn't help but scoff lightly as they walked towards campus. "Jim thinks it's a riot that you're instructing the class. I just find it intimidating."

"Really?" Alice gave him a curious look.

"Yeah," Leonard grimaced. "It's not often that your girlfriend is teaching a class you already know you're going to do horribly in," he admitted.

And he didn't miss that quiet smile or faint blush at his use of the word _girlfriend_ before she quickly locked it away behind her teasing mischief. "You don't have to worry, Leon. You'll never be as good as me."

"Ouch," he winced jokingly. "That was very hurtful."

"Oh. I'm sorry," she countered, wicked smirk toying with him. "Did I wound your pride?"

Leonard desired nothing more than to wrap his arm around her and pull her closer as they walked, or at the very least, capture her hand in his own. But he was painfully aware that they were not alone on the sidewalk.

"Maybe a little bit," he chuckled softly, smiling back at her.

"Then I guess it's a good thing you're a doctor and should be able to patch it up just fine on your own," she winked at him. "Come on. We're going to be late to our classes at this pace." And he allowed her to take the lead, trailing behind a few steps, enjoying the view before he turned and took a different path towards campus. One that would lead him past his dorms and would have them arriving from different directions, something they had decided would be for the best to keep the secrecy.

And although he could hide the slight longing and deeply seated ache he felt, a desire to walk beside her for the entirety of the way back to the Academy, he couldn't deny its presence even if he didn't fully understand it.

* * *

Leonard didn't know if the instruction was ineffective as Alice had believed it to be, but _he_ certainly felt ineffective as he continuously tried to block Jim's blows properly. There was always a lingering feeling as if he was doing something wrong. He just couldn't figure out _what_ he was doing wrong.

Jim seemed equally aware of him having difficulty, too; but was having the same amount of trouble figuring it out as well, all his suggestions producing no different results. All he could do was allow Leonard to continue attempting until he hopefully figured it out. Which was strange in it of itself. The man who normally couldn't leave a breath of silence and always had to say something sarcastic or obnoxious had grown quiet in direct, almost linear, relation to how frustrated Leonard was becoming as he continued to fail to get the block down right; trading out smart-ass quips for suggestions and advice before growing silent.

But after another close call with Jim nearly striking him the face, Leonard was ready to call it quits and let Jim have his turn to practice, imagining that it would be easier for him to throw punches than attempt to block them.

Gentle, nudging words prevented him from doing so, however.

"Do it again," Alice instructed him, arms crossed in a relaxed fashion as she watched.

Her critical gaze made Leonard feel a little uneasy, but he remained in his defensive stance, prepared to block as Vance continued to shout _ready_ and _strike_ in a metronome like pattern to keep a steady pace for them to practice by. On _strike_ Jim swung at him with a well contained punch, and Leonard did manage to block it, but something still felt off about the way he did so. It felt more _uncomfortable_ than he imagined it should, if that was even a proper way to describe it, and he felt as if it took him longer than necessary to recover from it.

If he had been in a barfight—as Jim had occasionally drug him into—Leonard wouldn't much care if the block wasn't perfect. But here in combatives, where the repetition of the same movements was meant to enforce form and execution in such a way that it was practically instinctual, it made it difficult for him to just shrug off the feeling that he wasn't doing something right. And it certainly didn't help his self-confidence that he was already struggling the first full week of the course. Or that Alice was observing him failing in the first full week of the course.

"You're moving too much," Alice said evenly, her voice constructive and lacking in criticism. "Here, like this," she motioned for him to move out of the way and quickly replaced him, facing down Jim. "Again."

Jim nodded and followed the tempo of Vance's commands, throwing a right-handed punch at her. Leonard watched, making a point to only study what he needed, finding it damn near impossible not to notice how nicely the PT uniform hugged her curves or how her skin glistened. Instead, he watched as she easily blocked Jim's blow fluidly. There was definitely a difference in the way she did it. He wasn't quite sure he would be able to replicate it, though.

"You want to move as little as necessary," she informed him. "That way it doesn't take as long to counter or strike back. Think of it in terms of surgery. Would you want your instruments on the other side of the operating room or right next to you?" she offered in a quick analogy before turning her attention to Jim. "Right then left."

Again, he nodded in understanding before he struck. Alice blocked his right with a flick of her arm before she caught his left arm with the same hand, pulling him forward and off balance as she turned, exposing her back to him as she brought her left elbow up, stopping it a hairsbreadth away from his neck in a perfectly executed counter.

"That was slightly terrifying," Jim chuckled nervously.

Alice smiled apologetically. "Sorry," she offered quietly as she released him. Her gazed turned back to Leonard. "Try it again?"

Those chaos ridden eyes of hers would have been foreign to him now if hadn't woken up to them so often. Behind them was a person Leonard had never seen before. She always had a quiet personality, that wasn't new to him, but he had never seen her so serious and analytical before. In her eyes, Leonard could see the calculations she was making to plot out the next twenty steps; but there was the gold flickering that shined with an instinct that would react if things didn't go according to plans. It was intimidating, dangerous, and reassuring. Alice was in complete control of the situation.

Leonard blocked Jim's blow again, the movement feeling a little more effective than last time as he struggled to move as Alice had demonstrated. The wince she wore told him he hadn't quite gotten it right, however.

"Better…" her voice trailed off, though, indicating that it was more platitude than honest. "Can I try something?" she asked, reaching towards him.

"Sure," he shrugged.

The delicate fingers he enjoyed intertwining with his own or trailing across his skin, laid over his own hand, gently gripping it as she placed her arm directly over his own. Her other hand rested lightly on his shoulder, as she became a physical shadow of him, her arm against his own and her hand bracing against him for balance being the only points of contact.

If they were in any other situation, their closeness would have been considered inappropriate; and for the first, and most likely only time, Leonard was thankful for combatives. It gave him the opportunity to drink in her alluring scent outside of her apartment. Her conditioner, he recognized.

With a nod from her, Jim once against struck towards Leonard, and Alice guided his arm as she blocked it correctly. She did this for him two more times, before quickly retreating away from Leonard to a more respectable distance.

"Try it again," she instructed him once more, and Leonard felt more confident this time.

There was a change in the way he blocked. It didn't feel awkward or incorrect as he was able to replicate the way she had blocked with him. And he could see what she had meant. The way he was supposed to execute it, it was less of movement and more of a flick of his arm. He _had_ been moving too much.

He could also see that Jim was aware of the change in his blocking somehow, giving Leonard a slightly amused look, making him thankful that they would be switching soon and he would have his chance to throw the punches.

* * *

"You can't just stand there and tell me it wasn't part of your plan to get Alice to show you how to block," Jim continued on, the teasing inflection of his voice grating against Leonard's ears. "I mean, she was practically glued against you."

Leonard rolled his eyes as he threw on his jacket, slamming the door to his locker closed. "You're such a child."

"I wonder if I could get her that close if I pretended I couldn't do something?" Jim wondered dreamily, staring off into the distance like some love-sick teenager.

"She'd probably see right through you," he groaned, once again being dragged into some immature topic. "And I _wasn't_ pretending."

"I pretty sure she'd like what she'd see, though," Jim laughed, continuing to parade around shirtless.

Leonard merely sighed in exasperation. His obnoxious friend's inability to put on a shirt until the last moment had become a common occurrence in the locker room. The man's confidence was irritating at best and downright arrogant at its worst as he all but flaunted his figure. What was confounding was why he did so in the _men's_ locker room, where all it got him was sneers in disgust from people who weren't nearly as confident as him. It was like the damn kid wanted to ruffle as many feathers as he possible could

"Come on," Leonard growled, grabbing Jim's shirt off the bench and throwing it at him. "I don't want to stay here all night."

"You don't have to wait for me, _sweetheart_ ," Jim teased in mocking southern drawl.

"And will you get off that already," he snapped. "Not all of us have years of experience from bar fights to draw on."

"Oh, don't worry. I get it," he said, voice muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head. "It's harder for some people." A sense of dread filled Leonard when he saw that damn smirk. "Bet that wasn't the only thing that was hard, though, was it?" The wink he threw in made Leonard want to punch him.

"Unbelievable," Leonard groaned. Years of experience in the medical field had desensitized him to obnoxious remarks similar to Jim's.

"Come on, Bones," Jim continued, his voice begging him in dragged out childlike tones as he grasped Leonard by the arm and all but dragged him out of the locker room. "You can admit it to me. I'm your best friend!" The smirk he wore was equal parts annoying and infuriating.

"Not by any choice of mine," Leonard growled quietly.

"That's not nice," he whined.

"Well, you keep telling me about how _wonderful_ my bedside manner is, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to you anymore," Leonard countered.

"Fair enough," Jim agreed with a shrug. "I've seen the way you eye her, though. You can't tell me that you aren't attracted to her at least a little bit."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "I don't _eye_ her," he argued weakly, having given in to the fact that Jim was going to continue to pester the hell out of him about it. The fact that he kept on about it, though, was evidence enough that he was still clueless; so while it annoyed him, Leonard could tolerate it with mild—and mostly hidden—indifference.

As they entered the gym, however, making their way towards the exit, Leonard scanned the area as subtly as he could for any sign of her, registering that she was standing over by Vance in deep discussion, or lecture, as she looked slightly cowered, her body bowed much as one would if they were being scolded.

"Wonder what that's about?" Jim piped up from beside him, giving Leonard an opportunity to strike back at all of his previous remarks

"And you accused me of eyeing her," he countered disapprovingly.

"Oh, I don't deny it," he smirked. "It's just that I'm painfully aware of how hopeless it is."

"And yet you still continue to harass her," Leonard said, shaking his head.

"That's just 'cause she has this cute little sigh of frustration she'll give me if I do," Jim teased, though it was less obnoxious and more out of fondness. "And the way she rolls her eyes at me is way more adorable that when you do it."

"That's not exactly the direction I'm aiming for, kid," Leonard snorted.

"Yes, yes, you have the whole bitter, unfriendly drunk down perfectly, Bones," Jim chuckled. "You know, you're lucky they don't test for sobriety with the standard drug tests."

"You are too, idiot," he snarled back, allowing himself to be dragged back into another endless argument. "You wouldn't pass them either if they did."

Jim opened his mouth to say another goading remark to rub Leonard the _right_ way and keep this playful, albeit somewhat antagonistic, banter going; but he was cut off by a voice he recognized from the many insults that had been thrown his way from the privacy of a closed door and backed up by the other two roommates that shared his dorm. He had been unlucky enough to get placed as the fourth person in a dorm of three friends that seemingly despised him for being George Kirk's son. Not that he could completely blame them. There were days he despised being George Kirk's son. Namely, on January 4th of every goddamn year.

"Oh how cute," came the degrading voice of Cadet Simms. "Like two assholes on their first date."

Leonard didn't have much experience with this new pain in the ass. Jim didn't tell him much about it other than a few mentions the couple of times he had come crawling into the hospital with various injuries from fights with the larger cadet, but he had been able to discern that Simms was built like a similar brick wall Jim had picked a fight with the night before the shuttle.

"It would take some truly backwatered minds to think that's an issue even if it were true," Leonard growled defensively, a malicious turn of his features that would cause most people to be unsettled.

Clearly, Simms hadn't been expecting such strong and rough behavior from a friend of Jim Kirk's, and he clearly hadn't heard of the reputation that was spread by those that had been on the receiving end of Doctor McCoy's ire. But it didn't take him long to recover.

"That's rich, coming from some southern hick," Simms said, sizing the two men up; his friends, and Jim's fellow roommates, waiting to back him up.

Jim turned subtly to put himself in front of Leonard just enough to most likely receive the first blow if it came to it. "You need something, Simms?"

"No," he shrugged. "Just wondering what it's like to have the _Assistant Instructor_ in your back pocket." The larger cadet eyed Leonard. "The way she was pressed up against you, I'm surprised you two didn't just get it on right there."

Leonard was ready with a sneer and words that would make even the crudest of people flush, but Jim shouldered him back, remaining in front of him as a barrier. He just wasn't sure if it was a barrier to prevent Simms from getting to him or the other way around.

"I know this might be a new concept for you, but it is possible to act professional and not like a total prick," Jim taunted with a smile. "And in Assistant Instructor Khan's case, she is able to avoid favoritism of her friends by acting _professionally_."

There was a flicker of anger that ran through Simms' eyes before he quickly laughed Jim's shaded insult off. "Something tells me that she's the type to hand out favors to anyone she encounters often, though."

Leonard might have been aware that the jab at Alice was mean to incite anger from the both of them, and he might have known it was what Simms wanted; but it didn't help him curb his anger or stop him from clenching his fists, or desiring nothing more than to put the younger, larger cadet in the hospital. It was somewhat of a relief to see Jim tense up slightly as well at the comment. It let him know that his response wasn't unrealistic.

"Oh right," Jim scoffed in obnoxiously fake amusement. "You probably don't understand the concept of friends either seeing as you've only ever had mindless lackeys following you around." The smile Simms had in slight victory faded quickly, and Jim took a few steps forward, the jokester turning dangerous. "Tell me, Simms, does it make you feel like a bigger man to have such… _incompetence_ follow you? I imagine it makes it easier for you to appear better than you really are with them around."

It would have been impossible for Leonard to not recognize the smile Jim gave Simms. It was a shit-eating grin, laced with feigned arrogance and self-satisfaction that was designed for the sole purpose of instigating. And it was almost always immediately followed by—

Jim recoiled backwards into Leonard as Simms landed the first blow. Fortunately, he had enough experience with the reckless, brash, and fight prone Jim Kirk to have anticipated just this and catch him before he toppled over. Unfortunately, Simms had insulted Alice, and Leonard had no qualms in letting Jim pull away and lunge at Simms instead of attempting to hold him back.

And instead of vainly attempting to be a peacemaker and break up the fight before reluctantly coming to the aid of his friend, there was no hesitation when Leonard grabbed one of the cadets that followed Simms around and pulled him away from Jim, knowing that he could have held his own against three but could do so easier with two.

The blow he landed against the cadet's jaw was effective mainly in part that it wasn't suspected, but it also certainly didn't help that Leonard had impeccable aim, landing it directly on his jaw. A satisfactory crack preluded the startled cry from cadet, but Leonard didn't release the grip he held and landed another blow against his face, busting his nose before the cadet managed to wrench himself free.

Reckless and anger driven punches were thrown haphazardly at Leonard by the cadet he had picked off, and he was able to block three of the stronger ones before one of them caught him in the ribs, forcing the breath out of him and leaving him open to a cheap shot that busted his upper lip open.

Sickly sweet blood pooled in Leonard's mouth as the cadet charged him, leaving him enough time to side-step out of the way and use the cadet's momentum in his favor, forcing the cadet to continue past him with a disarming shove.

Beside him, Leonard could hear the grunting and smacking of Jim's fight followed by an alarmed cry as someone, likely the second lackey, was knocked down the stairs. But before he had the chance of considering helping Jim out, Leonard's own advisory was back on his feet and approaching.

Strong hands wrenched him backwards, propelling him away from the fight as he struggled to remain upright. The cadet he had been fighting, arm raised to strike, was quickly spun around by his own arm being twisted in a painful manner as he was forced to the ground by it. Jim and Simms' were unaware of anything until Jim was dragged away from the fight, practically thrown into Leonard as the interloper placed herself in between the fighting parties. And while she may have stood calmly, stiff posture poised for a fight, there was no mistaking the fact that Alice was pissed.

Anger and confidence fled both parties as they realized who had interrupted.

"I understand that men have this _inexplicable_ need to mark their territory," Alice hissed menacingly, "but even animals aren't this _stupid_ about it!" The threatening glare she shot at both sides was enough to turn their blood as cold as the ice blue of her eyes. "Not only would the five of you be ejected from this course, setting back your career by a year, but you would put be on suspension as well, maybe even expelled from the academy for conduct unbecoming." The meadow green the mixed with the cold, malicious ice burned with anger.

Neither side dared to say a word in excuse or against her as her wrath dripped seething anger into her voice, saturating her tone in a way Leonard had never heard before. Alice got quiet and sarcastically bitter when she was mad. This was far beyond that.

"If you want to kick the shit out of each other over _nothing_ ," her eyes bored into to Leonard and Jim, forcing them both to avert their gaze in shame, "then at least have the common decency to do it off of Starfleet property and certainly not in front of the building you were _explicitly_ told not to fight in by instructors who _are right inside_."

As they stood there, shell shocked at the quiet Assistant Instructor who found her voice locked within her anger, the wounds they had received started to ache as the adrenaline drained out of them. The sharp knife off pain in Leonard's ribs was being twisted to its full intensity as the seconds passed by, and his knuckles throbbed, swelling against his skin.

"Now I suggest that the five of you stuff your egos back your pants since you're all done comparing sizes and leave before I rethink my decision on not reporting you to Instructor Vance," Alice growled.

"Of course you'd pardon Kirk and McCoy," Simms groaned under his breath.

"Yeah, and you should be thankful for my _favoritism_ , Simms," Alice snapped. "Because my friendship with them and the fact that I can't spin what just happened in such a way that they get out of it without it being blatant favoritism is the only reason I'm letting you walk away."

"This is bullshit," Simms growled. "First some," he searched for the apropos words, " _little_ _girl_ gets placed as Assistant Instructor and now the prodigal son _Jim Kirk_ gets a free pass because of it?"

But Alice didn't dignify his question with a response.

"This is complete bullshit," Simms hissed once more, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Maybe," she said impassively, the anger remaining but quieted for the moment. "But only Vulcan's are able to remain truly unbiased." At Simms' scoff in disgust, she added. "Just be thankful I'm not the one assigning grades."

"Whatever," Simms responded in utter annoyance before he and his _friends_ finally turned to leave.

Alice relaxed, taking a step back as she eased herself out of her defensive stance, the tenseness and anticipation of more to come melting away from her body. The anger she had exhibited moments before seemed to have been smothered, or at least concealed from them as she finally turned to regard her friends.

Leonard was struck by the expression she now had and the emotion that was written in her eyes as much as he had been by the anger. Again, it was something he had never seen in her before: disappointment. And he had been part of the reason that it was there, mixed with the sadness the drowned the green and gold of her irises.

"You couldn't even make it a week, could you?" The ghost of a smile she wore was tinged with the same smoky moroseness as her voice as Alice regarded the both of them.

And Leonard couldn't tell what was more painful. The knife in his ribs, or the ache he felt at the way she was looking at him, the subtle _I expected more from you_ dancing on her flawless skin.

"Alice—" Leonard tried, his voice quieted as he clearly desired nothing more than her understanding so that she might not be disappointed.

But Alice tossed her head lightly. "I heard everything." She paused for a beat. "I guess I was expecting too much when I thought you two could be the bigger men and just walk away." She retrieved the bag she had dropped on the stairs before she had rushed to intervene with the fight. Her movements were slow and careful as if she were exhausted, but Leonard was aware of how much it would take to make her tired, and there was no way it was physical exhaustion. His chest grew tight as she began to walk past them.

"Goodnight, boys," she said somberly, beginning the long trek across the Academy back to her apartment; leaving Leonard and Jim standing alone outside of the Combatives building, and once Alice was no longer in sight, having disappeared in the shadows of the evening, Jim finally spoke up.

"It feels like I went ten rounds with Simms and his sidekick rather than two minutes."

"Yeah," Leonard agreed. "Hell hath no fury like a woman disappointed."

It was the first time he was finally able to look Jim up and down, surveying the damage he suffered other than to his pride, and it was fortunately less than what he usually received during his fights. He wouldn't know the full extent until Jim came crawling to him once he could no longer hide how badly he was injured, but it looked as if all he had received was a bloody nose and some areas were bruises were likely to appear. Of course, Jim's tolerance for pain was exceptionally and ridiculously high, and he could be suffering from internal bleeding for all Leonard knew and for all Jim would refuse to say until he was practically half dead.

"You alright there, Bones?" Jim asked, clearly having done some surveying of his own, noticing how he was favoring his right side.

The pain was familiar from fights he'd been in before. Leonard placed slight pressure over his ribs. "I'll be fine," he growled defensively, though there was no bite in it. "Just cracked or bruised. I'll find out when I get back to my dorm."

There was doubt in his friend's eyes before he finally nodded. "I can't wait to get back to my dorm," Jim said with fake enthusiasm. "I bet there will be all kinds of fun waiting—"

"You don't have to ask, kid. I know your pride won't let you," Leonard interrupted him. Jim frowned as if asking a question even though he already knew the answer. "Let's go. You can take the couch tonight."

As much as he wanted to follow Alice back to her apartment and at least try to get her to allow him to explain what had happened, if only to dissipate the disappointment she made abundantly clear in regards to them. But Leonard knew that he couldn't allow Jim to return to his dorm and give Simms an opportunity to take out his anger on him once more. It would mean that he wouldn't be able to talk to her tonight without Jim catching on, though, and he wouldn't be able to talk to her until tomorrow at the earliest.

There was a slight hesitation before Jim followed Leonard down the stairs. "You have a couch?"

"Yeah," Leonard managed, suppressing a groan as walking agitated what he now believed to be at least one cracked rib, maybe more, and a couple of bruised ones. "Medical division gets the better dorms."

"Huh," Jim huffed.

He already knew this. In fact, Leonard remembered clearly all the shit that he had given him when he first found out that he not only had a larger dorm but he had to share all that space with only one other person. Jim had gone on an almost literal rant for a good twenty minutes about how there was a bias and the whole academic system was flawed. It was only when Alice finally piped in about how in command you needed to be able to work with many different people with many different backgrounds, and being in cramped dorms was a way to initially expose you to that. And Jim couldn't find a way around that logic other than to say that it was _unfair_.

"Bones."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it, kid."

* * *

Alice wouldn't be back at her apartment until sometime after one in the afternoon. She was one of the few people on campus—aside from all the other cadets on the tactical officer track—that had a class on Fridays, starting at eight in the morning and lasting five hours. Leonard had planned to get there sometime close to two, giving her enough time to take a shower, the first thing she did once she got home from the class.

Whenever he asked her about it, all she would tell him was that they were running combat simulations of either field ops or bridge ops. Alice never gave him specifics, but whatever they were putting her through, they were working her hard. There were days where she just looked ragged and exhausted. Not physically, mind you, she just looked strained, like whatever her instructors were making her do were so mentally taxing that she looked exhausted.

In fact, Leonard realized, he found Alice looking exhausted in increasing frequency over the past few weeks.

But these thoughts and realizations were dragging his mind off of what he really needed to figure out: how on Earth he was going to explain himself for what happened last night. He had all morning and part of the afternoon to figure out what to say, but even now as he stood outside her door having just knocked on it, he was still no closer to having even a remote clue as to how he was going to mend what he—and Jim—had broken the previous night.

The door opened slowly, no doubt she already knew who was waiting outside for her, and Leonard felt his heart pound harder in his chest, the nervousness at what version of her he might find: angry or disappointed.

He saw neither.

Alice's eyes didn't shine nearly as bright as they always did. Her posture was more slouched than it would have been if she were simply relaxed, and exhaustion tugged wearily at her expression, creating the slightest of creases in her pale skin. She didn't look at all like herself.

 _God, she looks so tired_ , Leonard thought, trying to keep the concern out of his gaze. He longed nothing more than to push the lazy strands of hair the fell across her face back behind her ear, but he didn't know if he could.

"Can I come in?" he asked softly, and this two was different. Usually, he didn't have to ask unless it was in jest.

"Leonard," Alice sighed, her eyes closing for a fraction of a second longer, a sluggish response, "now isn't a good time."

"Please," he begged her. "Let me explain what happened last night." Leonard doubted that was what caused the change in her behavior, her demeanor; but if he could get her to let him talk about that, maybe he could get her to talk about whatever was so clearly bothering her.

"I know what happened last night," she argued lightly.

"You don't know everything."

"I was there for everything. I saw it all."

"Alice," he tried. "Please."

She regarded him for a moment, her eyes searching the depths of his own before there was a change. She didn't invite him in, but she didn't slam the door in his face either. Leonard took that as an invitation.

Now if only he knew what to say.

"Last night, Jim and I were idiots," he admitted appealingly. "And I apologize for that, especially since it could fall back onto you; but I don't regret what we did and I don't think Jim does either." Alice shifted slightly, leaning against the doorway as she waited for him to get to his point. "Simms is an ass, and he could have insulted Jim and me as much as he wanted and we wouldn't have cared, we would have walked away." Leonard paused for a moment. "But he insulted you."

"I know."

"He insulted you, and that's something Jim and I couldn't let him get away with."

Alice shook her head lightly. "I don't need you two…defending my honor or protecting me from his words, or whatever it is you two thought you were doing." The bitter tones of anger laced faintly within her voice.

"I know you don't," Leonard quickly amended. "But knowing you, knowing what you've been through," he saw her flinch at realized that may be the wrong way to go. "It makes me see you for who you really are." He reached out for those lose strands of hair, to place his hand gently on her cheek, but Alice pulled away slightly; and his heart twisted within his chest. "You're someone I care about, Alice," he continued, "someone Jim cares about too. And while you don't need us to fight for you, we will anyway. It's what you do for people you l—care about."

The faint smile that tugged playfully at the corners of her lips was enough to abolish the awful weight that had been pressing down on his chest. "You old romantic," she breathed teasingly.

"Only for you, sweetheart," his words causing her smile to became real as she pushed the door open a little wider, inviting him to come inside with her.

The sense of euphoria he felt was short-lived, however, as he watched Alice stumble, nearly losing balance if it weren't for the island counter she had to brace herself against.

"Alice!" her name gliding across his lips instinctively as he was quickly by her side, stabilizing her by her free arm to keep her from falling. His medically trained mind was racing with possibilities as he asked the question he doubted he would get an answer to. "Alice, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," came the expected response, as she tried to shake him off; but Leonard kept his iron-like grip on her. "Just a little dizzy."

Her eyes finally met his, and there was a brief flicker of worry resonating in the green of her chaos eyes. She might say she was fine, but it was obvious that she was just as concerned about her near fall as he was.

"Do you get dizzy often?"

There was a hesitation. "No."

"And you've been lethargic for the past couple of weeks now," he told her. "Don't think I haven't noticed."

Alice shook her head, trying to abate his concern. "Leonard—"

"Are you pregnant?"

Alice balked at the suggestion. "What? No!" She finally succeeded in pulling away from him. "This happens…" she added a flourish with her hand as she searched for the right word, " _periodically_."

"What does?" Alice tried to turn away from him, to walk away from his questions, but Leonard followed, putting himself in her path. "Alice, please." He reached out to steady her as he had before, but he made sure not to touch her, hoping that the nearness of his hand would be reassuring to her and show her how sincere he was. "I'm not asking so that I can hurt you with whatever it is you're not telling me. I'm worried about you. Especially since I imagine it takes a lot for you to get fatigued like this."

Alice couldn't keep his gaze, the chaos of her eyes losing as she looked to the side, her body turning to follow, but Leonard gently guided her back to him with a firm and tender hand. "Please. Let me help."

"Leon," she sighed deeply. "You can't help with this."

Leonard frowned. "Let me try."

"They're just nightmares," Alice finally relented, massaging the bridge of her nose. But the way she said it…there was clearly more to it than that. There was no way that simple nightmares could lead to her being so blatantly exhausted.

"How long have you been having them?"

"A couple of weeks now." Her voice was softened, defeated as if it was her fault that this was happening, that she was a weaker person because of it.

Leonard nodded faintly. "When was the last time you slept?" It was difficult for him to keep the doctor part of him out of his voice or his questions.

"Leonard…" Alice sighed, tossing her head lightly.

"I know you hate answering these kinds of questions, sweetheart," he coaxed her gently. "Believe me, I hate that I have to ask you them."

She must have heard only honesty in his voice, or saw it in his eyes because she nodded in understanding. "I can usually get about a half an hour in each night before I _can't_ ," she admitted. "The last time I got over a couple of hours of sleep was Sunday."

"Five days ago?"

"Yeah," Alice answered, biting her lip.

"Alice," Leonard breathed in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"This isn't unusual for me," Alice shrugged. "Just _inconvenient_. Besides," she added, "Jim's already starting to make you look your age with how much you worry about him. I didn't want to add to it." The small smile she gave him didn't illuminate her features as it normally would have. She was just trying to brush the seriousness of the situation off.

There was a sharp twist of pain in his chest. "You're the only one I _want_ to worry about, darlin'. And you should have told me. I _can_ help—"

"No," Alice commanded forcefully, backing away from him. "It's already hounding my dreams. I don't need it here too."

Realization dawned on him. "Alice…"

"Memories make the best nightmares," she confirmed. "And I don't want to have to flash back to that while I'm awake. Not if I have to…"

"Ok," Leonard reassured her quietly. "Aright." He reached out to her, his heart growing a fraction lighter when she took his hand and allowed him to pull her into an embrace. He pressed his cheek against the top of her head, stroking her hair gently as he held her close, willing his heartbeat to be steady enough to calm her and ease her mind. To give her strength.

Leonard was soothing her much as you would a small child, but it didn't feel like that to him. Alice was a mighty castle, battle tested and would always continue to stand no matter what would come next. And there might be some cracks, but she was perfectly capable of patching them up herself. That didn't mean he couldn't help her, though, and he didn't think any less of her when he did.

"No hyposprays," he promised her, "but you need to sleep, sweetheart. Your body needs rest."

He felt her sigh into him. "I'm open to suggestions."

"I know it might not help with the nightmares, but there are sedatives that are ingestible," Leonard offered as an option. "No needles, and you get to sleep." He could feel her shuffle within his arms and loosened his hold on her, giving them enough space so that he could look at her.

"It might take a triple dose just to get it to even slightly affect me, though," she said, uncertain of the idea.

"I know that," Leonard breathed. "Which is why I would like for you to come to the hospital with me tomorrow. I should be able to come up with a proper combination of sedatives that would work."

Alice cocked her head to the side, her indecisiveness and mistrust creating that tiny frown as she considered her options. Leonard knew that it would be difficult for her, being in a hospital. They never talked about it, but the times she would meet him at the hospital, it was always apparent how uncomfortable she was by her skittish and anxious behavior she desperately tried to hide. But he hoped that she would let him help her

"You won't leave my side while we're there, will you?"

"No," Leonard smiled, pulling away slightly, and placing his hands on her arms, his fingers trailing delicately across her skin. "In fact, I won't leave your side starting now, if you'll have me."

Alice's smirk was true and playful. "Do you have to ask?"

"Well, you seemed pretty angry with me last night," he mused lightly.

"That's because you and Jim were being idiots."

"Still, I don't think I've seen you angry like that before." He was thankful for the change of pace, for the lighter conversation, the dissipation of the darker part of his concern.

"You still haven't," she teased him, pulling away and making her way towards the couch, the projection screen flickering to life with the quieted news. "That was more like annoyance fueled by sleep deprivation."

"Then I hope I never make you angry," he chuckled softly, settling beside her on the couch, draping his arm over her lazily.

"It would take a lot," Alice said. But there was something else behind her smile, something else was causing that spark of mischief in the gold of her eyes.

"What?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Your first guess at what was wrong was that I was pregnant?" The laughter in her voice was almost tangible and completely intoxicating.

Leonard rolled his eyes. "First thing you do when trying to diagnose a problem is rule out the most likely explanation." He dug his fingers into her ribs playfully. "I shouldn't have to remind you of what we do the most when we're behind closed doors."

Alice giggled, her body twisting to avoid his probing fingertips that aimed to tickle her. "And just how panicked were you?"

"I'm a doctor, sweetheart," Leonard said with a wink. "I don't panic."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized sarcastically. "Of course you don't panic. What was I thinking? It's not like I've seen you shake yourself to near puddle at the thought of flying in any shape or form." And there was that damn smirk of hers that always made him smile.

"Steady under pressure, remember?" And at her raised eyebrow he added, "Normal pressure. There isn't anything normal about flying in space."

"Maybe it wasn't a couple of centuries ago, you old soul," Alice hummed quietly, her words causing him to scoff at her in jest. Her eyes searched his own for a moment before she continued. "What would you have done…if that had been the issue?" she asked shyly.

"Panic?" he offered in a breathy chuckle.

"I'm serious," she told him, and Leonard could practically hear the frown in her voice.

"That would depend entirely on what you would want to do," he answered truthfully.

"Hmm…" she mused. "You wouldn't bail on me?"

"As I already told you," Leonard said, drawing her in closer. "I won't leave your side for as long as you'll have me. Starting now."

~~.O.~~

So, I sincerely apologize for how long it has taken me to get this chapter to you guys (that's part of the reason that it's so long, as a reward for your patience with me). It's just that college and work and writing sometimes shove each other out of the spotlight.

Anyway, please tell me what you think! I love all of you guys and appreciate every single one of you that have made it this far. :)

Thank you for reading!

See you in the next chapter!


End file.
